Wives and Widows; or The Broken Life Part 66

"'It is a debt for which the estate is pledged,' answered the lawyer; 'but I wonder you do not understand it better, for your own signature is attached.'

"Then I remembered that, during the stay of Mr. Lawrence at our house, Mr. Dennison had called me to the table in his library and asked me to sign a paper. He explained to me clearly enough, no doubt, that the paper might deprive me of some claim for dower; but I did not heed it at the time, and now it was to fall upon me with all its force. The plantation must be sold, the lawyer said, for he was one of the executors to the will. The mortgage once cleared off and the debts paid, there would still be a handsome property left.

"All at once I was seized with intense love for the old place. Where should I ever find a home so rich in comforts, so beautifully surrounded?

"'Is it not possible to keep the place?' I demanded, with growing interest.

"'No; the mortgage was given, I imagine, in order to raise funds for some dazzling speculation in which Mr. Lawrence was concerned. At any rate, there is no money to pay it with, and the estate must go to the hammer.'

"'This is cruel, it is unjust,' I said, angrily.

"'It was wrong and foolish to involve the estate as Mr. Dennison has,'

answered the executor, 'and the loss is a heavy one. Let us be thankful that our good friend has left enough without that.'

"'But his losses were brought on by Mr. Lawrence?' I questioned, speaking the name with a thrill of pain.

"'No! they were fellow-sufferers. It is understood that Lawrence has lost heavily, and will perhaps be ruined.'

"Instantly my heart swelled with sympathy for the man who had helped to impoverish me.

"'Oh! if he had but left the estate unburdened, I should not care.'

"Heaven knows I was thinking of the man who had, perhaps, wronged me, but the executor misunderstood my words and looked at me wonderingly. I saw this, but could not explain that the great wish of my heart was that there might be enough to redeem the losses that had fallen upon Lawrence. I could not endure to think of him as a poor man. A poor man--that is a terrible word to the ears of a Southern lady.

"The executor tried to explain everything clearly, and I made an effort to understand. He was anxious about the property, and thought the times unpropitious. The North and South were that hour verging closer and closer toward a civil war, in which the value of property would become uncertain, and I might be a sufferer.

"I knew all this before; rumors of political strife had reached even our secluded home. I knew that the bitter animosity which had been long growing between the North and South had even then broken into open hostilities. Southern statesmen had retreated in a body from the United States Senate, and resigned their seats in the House. I had taken a blind interest in this matter, and, in a loose way, hated everything that opposed the dominant power of my own section; but it was as a child takes sides. I did not, and do not, really understand the questions which give rise to all this turmoil. Of course, the whole affair will be settled somehow; people never do fight when they threaten so much.

Besides, the South is so reasonable; she only asks to set up for herself, and be let alone. What objection can there be to this? I dare say the Northern people will acquiesce; but if not, it will only take a month or so to gain our independence. I think the executor is right to put off the sale till then; for of course property will rise enormously, and this may compensate me for that great drawback, the mortgage. But until the estate is settled, I must remain a slave here. Perhaps that is best; it would not be proper for a widow to seek society under a year; but oh! how dreary that year will be!

"I wonder if Mr. Lawrence has heard of his friend's death? Months have gone by and not a word from him, not even the usual letter of condolence. Perhaps he is coming. Surely the share he has taken in the ruin of this property ought to bring some explanation. There is no reason now why he should keep aloof.

"At last I have heard from him. A letter came to the executor, enclosing one for me. It is in my bosom. I have covered the senseless paper with kisses. Yet there is nothing in it but gentle condolence for sorrow. The reason he has not written before is that the news of Mr. Dennison's death reached him in Europe, where he will remain until the end of this year. His letter to the executor was long and thoroughly explanatory of all the business which lay between him and Mr. Dennison. This mortgage, it seems, was only the acc.u.mulation of many others that had from year to year been a burden on the estate. Through the influence of Mr. Lawrence, a New York capitalist had paid up these mortgages, and concentrated them into one which, after all, does not cover half the value of the estate.

It was this act of friends.h.i.+p which brought Mr. Lawrence to our house.

There was neither risk nor speculation in the whole business. Even with this enc.u.mbrance, Mr. Dennison's will would have left me wealthy, but for the terrible civil war which has broken over us. As it is, there are three hundred slaves, which the mortgage does not touch, and they are a handsome property in themselves.

"The estate is sold, and the result scarcely covers the mortgage. Still the slaves are left, and my jewels are of great value. Sometimes, when my hand rests upon my black dress, the diamonds with which my husband loaded it flame up and burn into my conscience. How could I be so negligent and cold to him?

"Some months longer I shall remain on the estate. The new owner wishes to hire most of my slaves; that arrangement will supply me with an ample income, and permit me to go anywhere; that is, if I can get away, when the whole country is swarming with armed men. Thank heaven! my home has escaped all these military disturbances; but they build a wall of bayonets between me and _him_. I cannot even get letters....

"I am going: an opportunity offers. This very day I start for the North.

My pa.s.s is ready, my escort waiting. How my heart swells! how my courage rises! The dangers of war have no terrors for me. I am going to the North, and _he_ is there....

"How long it is since I have written a line in my journal, or even seen it! In our rough journey there was little time or opportunity for writing, but here I have rest and am entirely out of danger.

"Lawrence is in the Federal army, commanding one of the city regiments which have gone down to the war for special duty. How vast and lonely this hotel seems! I am lost in this great wilderness of people. The streets are full of military men; regiments are constantly pa.s.sing through on their way to the war. Great heavens! did our people hope to wrest away any portion of this great country from men like these? For the first time I understand the madness of the rebellion. It is no light thing to rend a great nation asunder. I begin to feel this, and tremble for the people of the South. In the insanity of their ambition they have sacrificed everything....

"He is coming. His regiment is ordered home. I am here at the Fifth Avenue Hotel--his home when he is in the city. Lawrence must not find me here. His fastidious delicacy might take the alarm! Besides, I have made acquaintances, and am almost acting over the _role_ that made me so popular at New Orleans; else the suspense of this long waiting would have been intolerable. Yes, it is far better that I should be away when he comes. If he hears of me, it will only be from admirers. Even with the women, I think that I have left no enemies. It is early for the season, but this very day my rooms at Long Branch shall be taken. Will he follow me there? The question drives the breath back from my lips....

"I have been at the Branch three weeks. His regiment has returned to New York, but I have not seen him: this suspense is terrible. Yesterday I sent Cora to the city, ostensibly to get some articles that I left at the hotel, but in fact to bring me intelligence of him, for which my soul was thirsting.

"She came back radiant, for the poor girl understands how anxious I am.

She saw him--talked with him. He has been very busy with his regiment, and attending to neglected business on Wall Street; but next week--next week--oh, how long the days will seem till then!...

"He is here. I have seen him; we have walked together, free as birds upon the sh.o.r.e, where the sea rolls in with bewildering harmonies for the happy, and solemn anthems for those who suffer. To-day the very air was jubilant; the waves came rolling in crested with foam, and das.h.i.+ng the sand with s.h.i.+mmering silver. How the suns.h.i.+ne danced and broke and laughed over the broad expanse of water! The sea-gulls, as they swooped down and dipped their wings in the curling foam, were like doves to us.

Indeed, this flat, treeless sh.o.r.e on which the ocean is eternally beating, is just now the brightest paradise I ever knew.

"Weeks roll on, and our companions.h.i.+p is perfect; but he says nothing of the future. We talk of books, of friends.h.i.+p--love even--but in a vague, dreamy way, that confirms nothing. I wonder at this, and it disturbs me.

Is it that he is no longer a rich man? I have heard this, but am not sure, for the rumor is often met with contradiction. If this should prove true, it will account for his conduct. I know him well enough to be sure that his sensitive honor would take alarm at the thought of marrying a woman whose property would more than match his own; and mine, notwithstanding all losses, is of no ordinary value.

"These thoughts trouble me. Nothing can be more impressive than his devotion; my society seems all in all to him, but our relations.h.i.+p remains the same.

"A rather singular family has just arrived--some rich iron-man from the interior of Pennsylvania. His wife is a confirmed invalid, but one of the most refined and lovable women I ever saw. She must have been very beautiful in her youth, for her features are singularly like those of her daughter, who is considered the most lovely girl at the Branch this season. The rooms which Mr. Lee occupies open on to the same veranda with mine, and as the lady spends a great deal of her time in looking out upon the ocean from her luxurious easy-chair, I managed to open an acquaintance with her and a lady who is her constant companion, and either an elder sister of the beautiful girl I have spoken of, or some near friend of the family. My first advances to this lady were rather coldly received. She has evidently been out of society a long time, and appears shy and reserved. The younger lady seemed to be reading my face with more scrutiny than pleased me. She is not really handsome, but has lovely hair and an abundance of it, with deep gray eyes that are almost always shaded by long curling lashes, which gives them intense expression when she lifts them suddenly and meets your gaze. Her complexion is pure and bright, but the mouth is a little too large for harmony with the other features. Still, her smile is peculiarly expressive when she does smile, which is not often.

"I can hardly tell why this person impressed me so forcibly, but a strange sensation came over me when those eyes were first lifted to my face. She is not imposing in her presence, but very modest and very un.o.btrusive. Her attentions to Mrs. Lee were more than affectionate; and with the young lady she has the air and manner of a sister who feels her superiority in age, and nothing more.

"This morning I met Mr. Lee on the sh.o.r.e, walking alone. He is a princely man in appearance, taller than Mr. Lawrence, and of more n.o.ble proportions. Still, his finely-cut features lack the keen intelligence which is only seen where great genius exists. The years he has already numbered scarcely count to his disadvantage. Not very long ago I should have considered this man as far the handsomest of the two; but now the splendor of genius alone can satisfy me....

"I have had terrible news. President Lincoln has issued a proclamation which emanc.i.p.ates all slaves in the rebellious States. If this act is lawful, and can be enforced, I am almost a beggar. All the property to which I have a right lies in the strong arms of nearly three hundred negro slaves. A single word, the mere writing of a man's name, has swept all my wealth away. With the exception of my jewels, I have nothing.

This is a terrible blow, for I have endured poverty, and shrink from it with absolute dread. To me a luxurious ease and elegance are a fixed habit, and so necessary that I could not live without them.

"One consolation comes out of all this ruin. I am sure that Lawrence has hesitated to say all that is in his heart on account of my wealth, which, if rumor speaks truly, was far greater than anything he can command. When I think of this and glory in his sensitive delicacy, the loss of all my slaves seems a less crus.h.i.+ng calamity. This very day I will tell him how suddenly the Act of Emanc.i.p.ation has placed me on his level.

"I have told him of the sweeping misfortune which has left me on the verge of poverty. He looked at me in alarm. His face clouded over, his eyes turned away from mine. It was moments before he spoke.

"'It is a misfortune,' he said, at last, and there was bitterness in his voice, as if some wrong had been done himself. 'Poverty is a terrible thing; from my heart I pity you.'

"'But it is not everything,' I faltered; 'surely happiness can exist without wealth: you must not frighten me with the thought that my future is all broken up.'

"He shook his head, moved away from me abruptly, and stood for a moment looking out upon the ocean in gloomy silence. At last he came back and took my hand, which was growing cold.

"'It is a misfortune,' he said, 'but you will hardly feel it. Something is left, if properly managed. You are young and splendidly beautiful. A few smiles--a little condescension--and fortunes will be laid at your feet, compared to which that which you have lost will be nothing. As for me--but I will not talk of myself. It is only another dream broken up.'

He turned abruptly, dropped my cold hand from his clasp, and walked away, leaving me stranded, as it were, like a wreck upon the sh.o.r.e.

"What does this mean? 'It is only another dream broken up.' These were his words. Merciful heavens! has this ruin fallen on my whole life. Will poverty frighten back the heart that was mine?

"'Another dream broken up.' These words signify everything that is humiliating and painful. If they have any meaning at all, he is ready to give me up rather than face the difficulties of my position. And I thought him so disinterested, so proud!

"Alas! I thought myself unhappy before, but this is perfect desolation.

'Another dream broken up' for him--a life broken up for me.

"I do not believe it. I mistook the meaning of his words. He loved me; I know he did. Was it not a consciousness of too pa.s.sionate tenderness that drove him away from me when I was a married woman? Has he not sought me since, and told me in a thousand ways how dear I was to him?

Has he not so mingled our future lives in his conversation that there could be no mistaking the drift of his thoughts? I am foolish to think that this will make any lasting difference. Besides, Lincoln must be master of the South before my slaves can be reached by any act of his."

"It is true: Lawrence, during the last week, has been gradually withdrawing himself from my society. I have seen him less frequently of late; he seldom joins me unless I am surrounded by others. Our walks on the beach are entirely broken up, and he no longer seeks me when I purposely sit apart on the veranda of the hotel.

"I have been so annoyed and felt so wronged by his conduct, that a spirit of bitter retaliation is aroused in my bosom. The most aristocratic and splendid man here is Mr. Lee. I have noticed once or twice that Lawrence has seemed a little disturbed by the slight interest this gentleman has taken in me. He shall feel this more keenly before the week is over. By that time a prouder and more fastidious man than he is shall be my slave. That idea of the power a brilliant coquette may wield, which he first planted in my mind, shall bring forth bitter fruit for his eating before I have done with him.