The Book of Gud Part 4

As the result of their calculations, reinforcements came to the cause of the machines. These new recruits came on with whistlings and hummings and greater roaring than Gud had yet heard; and his courage was shaken so that his sword trembled in his hands, for the new recruits to the cause of the machines blew a great blast before them; for they were the fans and the blowers.

And Gud felt the blast in his face, and his sword swayed and s.h.i.+vered like a feather in the blast. And the blast became a mighty wind and the wind blew the sword of Gud from his hand and blew it over the edge of s.p.a.ce, so that Gud was unarmed and cried aloud for quarter. But the howling of the blast drowned his cry, and the fans and blowers came on, blowing all before them. Gud turned and fled and ran around the narrow rim of the edge of s.p.a.ce, but the fans and blowers followed after him and made a great cyclone that blew around the edges of s.p.a.ce. Gud fled in the wind and was bruised and torn by the wind and the garments of Gud were shattered and torn ... and Gud was lifted out of s.p.a.ce and hurled into an abysmal void where not even s.p.a.ce was.

Chapter VI

But in that wind beyond all s.p.a.ce The blast howled fiercely in his face....

Suddenly, from out the sky A mote of dust blew in his eye.

With pain he slowly rubbed it out, Examined it with pa.s.sing doubt,

Then burst into a tide of mirth: It was the cinder of an earth!

Chapter VII

Gud was walking and as he walked he wondered wherein and whereon he was walking. But as he knew all things he realized that he was in the Nth dimension and that he was walking along the Impossible Curve which he had thrown out of s.p.a.ce.

So Gud walked along the Impossible Curve in the Nth dimension until he came to a heap of discarded theories. It was a tangled heap and looked as if it might be a hiding place of ideas. So Gud caught up one of the st.u.r.dier theories and shook it, and the dried facts that the theory had borne rattled off like rotten fruit from a dead branch. Gud plucked the twigs of hypotheses from the heavier theory--and so made for himself a staff. This he rammed l.u.s.tily into the tangled heap of theories, whereupon something ran out and leaped along the Impossible Curve.

When it stopped, Gud, with his staff in hand, walked after it and came up to it, and thought that it was the echo of a voice.

"What were you doing?" demanded Gud, "hiding in that heap of discarded theories?"

"Alas," said that which Gud thought was the echo of a voice, "I was not hiding. There was nothing left of me to hide, because I was an obedient man and gave myself away even as I was told to do."

"What did they tell you to do?" asked Gud.

"They told me to do what I did."

"What did you do?"

The nothing sighed, and then said faintly: "I gave my wealth to the poor, my mind to my work, my heart to my wife, my life to my country and my soul to my G.o.d."

Gud reached over and picked up the nothing which he had thought was the echo of a voice. He picked it up by the ears, which were very thin, and looked into its eyes, which were pale pink, and stroked its fur, which was soft and white. Then Gud tied the nothing's ears together and hung it over his staff, and proceeded on his way.

As Gud walked on along the Impossible Curve he saw himself approaching to meet him. This made Gud very angry at himself because himself insisted on walking in the opposite direction, which seemed to show Gud that he had a dual nature and could go two ways at once. So Gud charged ahead to meet himself, and as he approached himself he swung the staff, which was over his shoulder, with a vicious blow at himself.

In his anger, Gud had forgotten the nothing which was hanging by its ears on his staff. As he swung the staff, the Impossible Curve took a sudden turn in an unknown direction so that Gud missed himself at which he struck. But that which was hanging by the ears flew off the staff and went hurtling through the deceitful mirror.

In this new excitement Gud forgot himself and peered through the deceitful mirror to see what had become of nothing. Gud saw that nothing was being chased by something, which Gud recognized as the reflection of an Underdog.

The chase was exciting; the nothing ducked and the reflection of an Underdog leaped over it. Then the nothing turned and started back toward the deceitful mirror, through which Gud was peering. The reflection of the Underdog turned also, and when the quarry reached the mirror it came back through and its pursuer came after it.

Quickly Gud swung his staff again and broke the mirror into ten thousand pieces. Then he turned about and saw, by the contented look on the face of the Underdog, that nothing was no more. Gud was glad he had been engaged in breaking the mirror and so had not seen the finale of the chase, for thus he missed the suffering of the victim and yet could see the satisfaction of the victor.

Gud now looked at the staff in his hand and saw that it had borne a luscious fruit. He plucked the fruit and tasted it. At first it tasted very sweet but later the taste turned bitter in his mouth. Gud looked again at the staff which he had picked from the heap of discarded theories, and Gud saw that he held in his hand the theory of conquest.

In horror he hurled it from him, and it struck the Underdog, who gave forth a great howl of pain.

Gud felt compa.s.sion for the Underdog and picked him up and nursed his wound, and the Underdog licked Gud's hands. Then he sat the Underdog down and started on his way, and the Underdog followed at Gud's heels along the Impossible Curve.

Chapter VIII

The Gogs are good, the Gogs are great, They rule a realm of real estate.

Their greedy little eyes are slits That vision beauty torn to bits, And when the night's aglow with stars They stagger through the lupinars.

The Gogs are good, the Gogs are great We slave to rent their real estate; We toil in their behalf like fools, Obey their customs, creeds and rules, Because each intellectual hog Would like to be, and is a Gog!

Chapter IX

So they trudged along very happily until they met some one.

Gud was dumbfounded. "What can you be doing on this Impossible Curve?"

he cried, "for I destroyed everything and my dog has eaten nothing.

Speak up, sir, and tell me what you are before I annihilate you again."

"I am Cruickshank, the bookkeeper," replied the some one.

"Ah ha," exclaimed Gud, "and so you are another of those living things that evolved out of the ooze and slime of that little sphere that got the valences of its carbon atoms so dreadfully entangled!"

"I am a man," said Cruickshank, the bookkeeper.

"But," said Gud, quite exasperated, "I told you I destroyed everything."

"And so you did," agreed Cruickshank, the bookkeeper, "but do you not recall those that escaped and floated down on the star dust to wait for the day of judgment?"

"I certainly remember them very well," said Gud, "but I would have you to know that this is not the day of judgment but the day after eternity, and what is more, you did not escape on the star dust as you claim, for I chased after that bunch and destroyed them quite utterly."

"In a way," said Cruickshank, the bookkeeper, "you did, but we saved our souls by losing them."

"But," cried Gud, "you are not a soul, for see--" and Gud poked Cruickshank, the bookkeeper, gingerly in the ribs--"you are a material man with ribs and life and a liver and much orthodox and conventional stupidity. In fact, you seem very much like Cruickshank that you always were. How do you explain that?"

"The explanation is very simple," said Cruickshank, the bookkeeper, "and also very important; and you would do well not to forget it or tamper with it. I am Cruickshank the bookkeeper, just as I always have been, because you can not change human nature. And what is more, I tell you that if you divided all the wealth up equally it would be unequal again before sunset."

"Mere popular fallacies," said Gud. "And now I am going to show you who I really am. When my Underdog here barks at the moon you are going to change into a boiled lobster with one great claw--a very red lobster, on which your insufferable white collar will look quite ridiculous."