Love-Letters Between a Nobleman and His Sister Part 7
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_Philander_ having finished the reading of this, remained a while wholly without life or motion, when coming to himself, he sighed and cried,--'Why--farewell trifling life--if of the two extremes one must be chosen, rather than I'll abandon _Sylvia_, I'll stay and be delivered up a victim to incensed _France_--It is but a life--at best I never valued thee--and now I scorn to preserve thee at the price of _Sylvia_'s tears!' Then taking a hasty turn or two about his chamber, he pausing cried,--'But by my stay I ruin both _Sylvia_ and myself, her life depends on mine; and it is impossible hers can be preserved when mine is in danger: by retiring I shall shortly again be blessed with her sight in a more safe security, by staying I resign myself poorly to be made a public scorn to _France_, and the cruel murderer of _Sylvia_.' Now, it was after an hundred turns and pauses, intermixed with sighs and ravings, that he resolved for both their safeties to retire; and having a while longer debated within himself how, and where, and a little time ruminated on his hard pursuing fate, grown to a calm of grief, (less easy to be borne than rage) he hastes to _Sylvia_, whom he found something more cheerful than before, but dares not acquaint her with the commands he had to depart----But silently he views her, while tears of love and grief glide unperceivably from his fine eyes, his soul grows tenderer at every look, and pity and compa.s.sion joining to his love and his despair, set him on the wreck of life; and now believing it less pain to die than to leave _Sylvia_, resolves to disobey, and dare the worst that shall befall him; he had some glimmering hope, as lovers have, that some kind chance will prevent his going, or being delivered up; he trusts much to the friends.h.i.+p of _Octavio_, whose power joined with that of his uncle, (who was one of the _States_ also, and whom he had an ascendant over, as his nephew and his heir) might serve him; he therefore ventures to move him to compa.s.sion by this following letter.
PHILANDER _to_ OCTAVIO.
I know, my lord, that the exercise of virtue and justice is so innate to your soul, and fixed to the very principle of a generous commonwealth's man, that where those are in compet.i.tion, it is neither birth, wealth, or glorious merit, that can render the unfortunate condemned by you, worthy of your pity or pardon: your very sons and fathers fall before your justice, and it is crime enough to offend (though innocently) the least of your wholesome laws, to fall under the extremity of their rigour. I am not ignorant neither how flouris.h.i.+ng this necessary tyranny, this lawful oppression renders your State; how safe and glorious, how secure from enemies at home, (those worst of foes) and how feared by those abroad: pursue then, sir, your justifiable method, and still be high and mighty, retain your ancient Roman virtue, and still be great as _Rome_ herself in her height of glorious commonwealths; rule your stubborn natives by her excellent examples, and let the height of your ambition be only to be as severely just, as rigidly good as you please; but like her too, be pitiful to strangers, and dispense a n.o.ble charity to the distressed, compa.s.sionate a poor wandering young man, who flies to you for refuge, lost to his native home, lost to his fame, his fortune, and his friends; and has only left him the knowledge of his innocence to support him from falling on his own sword, to end an unfortunate life, pursued every where, and safe no where; a life whose only refuge is _Octavio_'s goodness; nor is it barely to preserve this life that I have recourse to that only as my sanctuary, and like an humble slave implore your pity: oh, _Octavio_, pity my youth, and intercede for my stay yet a little longer: yourself makes one of the ill.u.s.trious number of the grave, the wise and mighty Council, your uncle and relations make up another considerable part of it, and you are too dear to all, to find a refusal of your just and compa.s.sionate application. Oh! What fault have I committed against you, that I should not find a safety here; as well as those charged with the same crime with me, though of less quality? Many I have encountered here of our unlucky party, who find a safety among you: is my birth a crime? Or does the greatness of that augment my guilt? Have I broken any of your laws, committed any outrage? Do they suspect me for a spy to _France_! Or do I hold any correspondence with that ungrateful nation? Does my religion, principle, or opinion differ from yours? Can I design the subversion of your glorious State? Can I plot, cabal, or mutiny alone? Oh charge me with some offence, or yourselves of injustice. Say, why am I denied my length of earth amongst you, if I die? Or why to breathe the open air, if I live, since I shall neither oppress the one, nor infect the other? But on the contrary am ready with my sword, my youth and blood to serve you, and bring my little aids on all occasions to yours: and should be proud of the glory to die for you in battle, who would deliver me up a sacrifice to _France_. Oh! where, _Octavio_, is the glory or virtue of this _punctilio_? For it is no other: there are no laws that bind you to it, no obligatory article of Nations, but an unnecessary compliment made a _nemine contradicente_ of your senate, that argues nothing but ill nature, and cannot redound to any one's advantage; an ill nature that's levelled at me alone; for many I found here, and many shall leave under the same circ.u.mstances with me; it is only me whom you have marked out the victim to atone for all: well then, my lord, if nothing can move you to a safety for this unfortunate, at least be so merciful to suspend your cruelty a little, yet a little, and possibly I shall render you the body of _Philander_, though dead, to send into _France_, as the trophy of your fidelity to that Crown: oh yet a little stay your cruel sentence, till my lovely sister, who pursued my hard fortunes, declare my fate by her life or death: oh, my lord, if ever the soft pa.s.sion of love have touched your soul, if you have felt the unresistible force of young charms about your heart, if ever you have known a pain and pleasure from fair eyes, or the transporting joys of beauty, pity a youth undone by love and ambition, those powerful conquerors of the young----pity, oh pity a youth that dies, and will ere long no more complain upon your rigours.
Yes, my lord, he dies without the force of a terrifying sentence, without the grim reproaches of an angry judge, without the soon consulted arbitrary----guilty of a severe and hasty jury, without the ceremony of the scaffold, axe, and hangman, and the clamours of inconsidering crowds; all which melancholy ceremonies render death so terrible, which else would fall like gentle slumbers upon the eye-lids, and which in field I would encounter with that joy I would the sacred thing I love! But oh, I fear my fate is in the lovely _Sylvia_, and in her dying eyes you may read it, in her languis.h.i.+ng face you will see how near it is approached. Ah, will you not suffer me to attend it there? By her dear side I shall fall as calmly as flowers from their stalks, without regret or pain: will you, by forcing me to die from her, run me to a madness? To wild distraction?
Oh think it sufficient that I die here before half my race of youth be run, before the light be half burnt out, that might have conducted me to a world of glory! Alas, she dies=-the lovely _Sylvia_ dies; she is sighing out a soul to which mine is so entirely fixed, that they must go upward together; yes, yes, she breathes it sick into my bosom, and kindly gives mine its disease of death: let us at least then die in silence quietly; and if it please heaven to restore the languished charmer, I will resign myself up to all your rigorous honour; only let me bear my treasure with me, while we wander over the world to seek us out a safety in some part of it, where pity and compa.s.sion is no crime, where men have tender hearts, and have heard of the G.o.d of love; where politics are not all the business of the powerful, but where civility and good nature reign.
Perhaps, my lord, you will wonder I plead no weightier argument for my stay than love, or the griefs and tears of a languis.h.i.+ng maid: but, oh! they are such tears as every drop would ransom lives, and nothing that proceeds from her charming eyes can be valued at a less rate! In pity to her, to me, and your amorous youths, let me bear her hence: for should she look abroad as her own s.e.x, should she appear in her natural and proper beauty, alas they were undone. Reproach not (my lord) the weakness of this confession, and which I make with more glory than could I boast myself lord of all the universe: if it appear a fault to the more grave and wise, I hope my youth will plead something for my excuse. Oh say, at least, it was pity that love had the ascendant over _Philander_'s soul, say it was his destiny, but say withal, that it put no stop to his advance to glory; rather it set an edge upon his sword, and gave wings to his ambition!--Yes, try me in your Councils, prove me in your camps, place me in any hazard--but give me love! And leave me to wait the life or death of _Sylvia_, and then dispose as you please, my lord, of your unfortunate
PHILANDER.
OCTAVIO _to_ PHILANDER.
_My Lord_,
I am much concerned, that a request so reasonable as you have made, will be of so little force with these arbitrary tyrants of State; and though you have addressed and appealed to me as one of that grave and rigid number, (though without one grain of their formalities, and I hope age, which renders us less gallant, and more envious of the joys and liberties of youth, will never reduce me to so dull and thoughtless a Member of State) yet I have so small and single a portion of their power, that I am ashamed of my incapacity of serving you in this great affair. I bear the honour and the name, it is true, of glorious sway; but I can boast but of the worst and most impotent part of it, the t.i.tle only; but the busy, absolute, mischievous politician finds no room in my soul, my humour, or const.i.tution; and plodding restless power I have made so little the business of my gayer and more careless youth, that I have even lost my right of rule, my share of empire amongst them. That little power (whose unregarded loss I never bemoaned till it rendered me incapable of serving _Philander_) I have stretched to the utmost bound for your stay; insomuch that I have received many reproaches from the wiser c.o.xcombs, have made my youth's little debauches hinted on, and judgements made of you (disadvantageous) from my friends.h.i.+p to you; a friends.h.i.+p, which, my lord, at first sight of you found a being in my soul, and which your wit, your goodness, your greatness, and your misfortunes have improved to all the degrees of it: though I am infinitely unhappy that it proves of no use to you here, and that the greatest testimony I can now render of it, is to warn you of your approaching danger, and hasten your departure, for there is no safety in your stay. I just now heard what was decreed against you in Council, which no pleading, nor eloquence of friends.h.i.+p had force enough to evade. Alas, I had but one single voice in the number, which I sullenly and singly gave, and which unregarded pa.s.sed. Go then, my lord, haste to some place where good breeding and humanity reigns: go and preserve _Sylvia_, in providing for your own safety; and believe me, till she be in a condition to pursue your fortunes, I will take such care that nothing shall be wanting to her recovery here, in order to her following after you. I am, alas, but too sensible of all the pains you must endure by such a separation; for I am neither insensible, nor incapable of love, or any of its violent effects: go then, my lord, and preserve the lovely maid in your flight, since your stay and danger will serve but to hasten on her death: go and be satisfied she shall find a protection suitable to her s.e.x, her innocence, her beauty, and her quality; and that wherever you fix your stay, she shall be resigned to your arms by, my lord, your eternal friend and humble servant,
OCTAVIO.
_Lest in this sudden remove you should want money, I have sent you several Bills of Exchange to what place soever you arrive, and what you want more (make no scruple to use me as a friend and) command._
After this letter finding no hopes, but on the contrary a dire necessity of departing, he told _Brilliard_ his misfortune, and asked his counsel in this extremity of affairs. _Brilliard_, (who of a servant was become a rival) you may believe, gave him such advice as might remove him from the object he adored. But after a great deal of dissembled trouble, the better to hide his joy, he gave his advice for his going, with all the arguments that appeared reasonable enough to _Philander_; and at every period urged, that his life being dear to _Sylvia_, and on which hers so immediately depended, he ought no longer to debate, but hasten his flight: to all which counsel our amorous hero, with a soul ready to make its way through his trembling body, gave a sighing unwilling a.s.sent. It was now no longer a dispute, but was concluded he must go; but how was the only question. How should he take his farewell? How he should bid adieu, and leave the dear object of his soul in an estate so hazardous? He formed a thousand sad ideas to torment himself with fancying he should never see her more, that he should hear that she was dead, though now she appeared on this side the grave, and had all the signs of a declining disease. He fancied absence might make her cold, and abate her pa.s.sion to him; that her powerful beauty might attract adorers, and she being but a woman, and no part angel but her form,'twas not expected she should want her s.e.x's frailties. Now he could consider how he had won her, how by importunity and opportunity she had at last yielded to him, and therefore might to some new gamester, when he was not by to keep her heart in continual play: then it was that all the despair of jealous love, the throbs and piercing of a violent pa.s.sion seized his timorous and tender heart, he fancied her already in some new lover's arms, and ran over all these soft enjoyments he had with her; and fancied with tormenting thought, that so another would possess her; till racked with tortures, he almost fainted on the repose on which he was set: but _Brilliard_ roused and endeavoured to convince him, told him he hoped his fear was needless, and that he would take all the watchful care imaginable of her conduct, be a spy upon her virtue, and from time to time give him notice of all that should pa.s.s! Bid him consider her quality, and that she was no common mistress whom hire could lead astray; and that if from the violence of her pa.s.sion, or her most severe fate, she had yielded to the most charming of men, he ought as little to imagine she could be again a lover, as that she could find an object of equal beauty with that of _Philander_. In fine, he soothed and flattered him into so much ease, that he resolves to take his leave for a day or two, under pretence of meeting and consulting with some of the rebel party; and that he would return again to her by that time it might be imagined her fever might be abated, and _Sylvia_ in a condition to receive the news of his being gone for a longer time, and to know all his affairs. While _Brilliard_ prepared all things necessary for his departure, _Philander_ went to _Sylvia_; from whom, having been absent two tedious hours, she caught him in her arms with a transport of joy, reproached him with want of love, for being absent so long: but still the more she spoke soft sighing words of love, the more his soul was seized with melancholy, his sighs redoubled, and he could not refrain from letting fall some tears upon her bosom----which _Sylvia_ perceiving, with a look and a trembling in her voice, that spoke her fears, she cried, 'Oh _Philander_! These are unusual marks of your tenderness; oh tell me, tell me quickly what they mean.' He answered with a sigh, and she went on--'It is so, I am undone, it is your lost vows, your broken faith you weep; yes, _Philander_, you find the flower of my beauty faded, and what you loved before, you pity now, and these be the effects of it.' Then sighing, as if his soul had been departing on her neck, he cried, 'By heaven, by all the powers of love, thou art the same dear charmer that thou wert;' then pressing her body to his bosom, he sighed anew as if his heart were breaking--'I know' (says she) '_Philander_, there is some hidden cause that gives these sighs their way, and that dear face a paleness. Oh tell me all; for she that could abandon all for thee, can dare the worst of fate: if thou must quit me----oh _Philander_, if it must be so, I need not stay the lingering death of a feeble fever; I know a way more n.o.ble and more sudden.'
Pleased at her resolution, which almost destroyed his jealousy and fears, a thousand times he kissed her, mixing his grateful words and thanks with sighs; and finding her fair hands (which he put often to his mouth) to increase their fires, and her pulse to be more high and quick, fearing to relapse her into her (abating) fever, he forced a smile, and told her, he had no griefs, but what she made him feel, no torments but her sickness, nor sighs but for her pain, and left nothing unsaid that might confirm her he was still more and more her slave; and concealing his design in favour of her health, he ceased not vowing and protesting, till he had settled her in all the tranquillity of a recovering beauty. And as since her first illness he had never departed from her bed, so now this night he strove to appear in her arms with all that usual gaiety of love that her condition would permit, or his circ.u.mstances could feign, and leaving her asleep at day-break (with a force upon his soul that cannot be conceived but by parting lovers) he stole from her arms, and retiring to his chamber, he soon got himself ready for his flight, and departed. We will leave _Sylvia_'s ravings to be expressed by none but herself, and tell you that after about fourteen days' absence, _Octavio_ received this letter from _Philander_.
PHILANDER _to_ OCTAVIO.
Being safely arrived at _Cologne_, and by a very pretty and lucky adventure lodged in the house of the best quality in the town, I find myself much more at ease than I thought it possible to be without _Sylvia_, from whom I am nevertheless impatient to hear; I hope absence appears not so great a bugbear to her as it was imagined: for I know not what effects it would have on me to hear her griefs exceeded a few sighs and tears: those my kind absence has taught me to allow and bear without much pain, but should her love transport her to extremes of rage and despair, I fear I should quit my safety here, and give her the last proof of my love and my compa.s.sion, throw myself at her feet, and expose my life to preserve hers. Honour would oblige me to it. I conjure you, my dear _Octavio_, by all the friends.h.i.+p you have vowed me, (and which I no longer doubt) let me speedily know how she bears my absence, for on that knowledge depends a great deal of the satisfaction of my life; carry her this enclosed which I have writ her, and soften my silent departure, which possibly may appear rude and unkind, plead my pardon, and give her the story of my necessity of offending, which none can so well relate as yourself; and from a mouth so eloquent to a maid so full of love, will soon reconcile me to her heart. With her letter I send you a bill to pay her 2000 patacons, which I have paid _Vander Hanskin_ here, as his letter will inform you, as also those bills I received of you at my departure, having been supplied by an _English_ merchant here, who gave me credit. It will be an age, till I hear from you, and receive the news of the health of _Sylvia_, than which two blessings nothing will be more welcome to, generous _Octavio_, your
PHILANDER.
_Direct your letters for me to your merchant_ Vander Hanskin.
PHILANDER _to_ SYLVIA.
There is no way left to gain my _Sylvia_'s pardon for leaving her, and leaving her in such circ.u.mstances, but to tell her it was to preserve a life which I believed entirely dear to her; but that unhappy crime is too severely punished by the cruelties of my absence: believe me, lovely _Sylvia_, I have felt all your pains, I have burnt with your fever, and sighed with your oppressions; say, has my pain abated yours? Tell me, and hasten my health by the a.s.surance of your recovery, or I have fled in vain from those dear arms to save my life, of which I know not what account to give you, till I receive from you the knowledge of your perfect health, the true state of mine. I can only say I sigh, and have a sort of a being in _Cologne_, where I have some more a.s.surance of protection than I could hope I from those interested brutes, who sent me from you; yet brutish as they are, I know thou art safe from their clownish outrages. For were they senseless as their fellow-monsters of the sea, they durst not profane so pure an excellence as thine; the sullen boars would jouder out a welcome to thee, and gape, I and wonder at thy awful beauty, though they want the tender sense to know to what use it was made. Or if I doubted their humanity, I cannot the friends.h.i.+p of _Octavio_, since he has given me too good a proof of it, to leave me any fear that he has not in my absence pursued those generous sentiments for _Sylvia_, which he vowed to _Philander_, and of which this first proof must be his relating the necessity of my absence, to set me well with my adorable maid, who, better than I, can inform her; and that I rather chose to quit you only for a short s.p.a.ce, than reduce myself to the necessity of losing you eternally. Let the satisfaction this ought to give you retrieve your health and beauty, and put you into a condition of restoring to me all my joys; that by pursuing the dictates of your love, you may again bring the greatest happiness on earth to the arms of your
PHILANDER.
POSTSCRIPT.
_My affairs here are yet so unsettled, that I can take no order for your coming to me; but as soon as I know where I can fix with safety, I shall make it my business and my happiness: adieu. Trust_ Octavio_, with your letters only._
This letter _Octavio_ would not carry himself to her, who had omitted no day, scarce an hour, wherein he saw not or sent not to the charming _Sylvia_; but he found in that which _Philander_ had writ to him an air of coldness altogether unusual with that pa.s.sionate lover, and infinitely short in point of tenderness to those he had formerly seen of his, and from what he had heard him speak; so that he no longer doubted (and the rather because he hoped it) but that _Philander_ found an abatement of that heat, which was wont to inspire at a more amorous rate: this appearing declension he could not conceal from _Sylvia_, at least to let her know he took notice of it; for he knew her love was too quick-sighted and sensible to pa.s.s it unregarded; but he with reason thought, that when she should find others observe the little slight she had put on her, her pride (which is natural to women in such cases) would decline and lessen her love for his rival. He therefore sent his page with the letters enclosed in this from himself.
OCTAVIO _to_ SYLVIA.
_Madam_,
From a little necessary debauch I made last night with the Prince, I am forced to employ my page in those duties I ought to have performed myself: he brings you, madam, a letter from _Philander_, as mine, which I have also sent you, informs me; I should else have doubted it; it is, I think, his character, and all he says of _Octavio_ confesses the friend, but where he speaks of _Sylvia_ sure he disguises the lover: I wonder the mask should be put on now to me, to whom before he so frankly discovered the secrets of his amorous heart. It is a mystery I would fain persuade myself he finds absolutely necessary to his interest, and I hope you will make the same favourable constructions of it, and not impute the lessened zeal wherewith he treats the charming _Sylvia_ to any possible change or coldness, since I am but too fatally sensible, that no man can arrive at the glory of being beloved by you, that had ever power to shorten one link of that dear chain that holds him, and you need but survey that adorable face, to confirm your tranquillity; set a just value on your charms, and you need no arguments to secure your everlasting empire, or to establish it in what heart you please. This fatal truth I learned from your fair eyes, ere they discovered to me your s.e.x, and you may as soon change to what I then believed you, as I from adoring what I now find you: if all then, madam, that do but look on you become your slaves, and languish for you, love on, even without hope, and die, what must _Philander_ pay you, who has the mighty blessing of your love, your vows, and all that renders the hours of amorous youth, sacred, glad, and triumphant? But you know the conquering power of your charms too well to need either this daring confession, or a defence of _Philander_'s virtue from, madam, your obedient slave,
OCTAVIO.
_Sylvia_ had no sooner read this with blushes, and a thousand fears, and trembling of what was to follow in _Philander_'s letters both to _Octavio_ and to herself, but with an indignation agreeable to her haughty soul, she cried--'How--slighted! And must _Octavio_ see it too! By heaven, if I should find it true, he shall not dare to think it.' Then with a generous rage she broke open _Philander_'s, letter; and which she soon perceived did but too well prove the truth of _Octavio_'s suspicion, and her own fears. She repeated it again and again, and still she found more cause of grief and anger; love occasioned the first, and pride the last; and, to a soul perfectly haughty, as was that of _Sylvia_, it was hard to guess which had the ascendant: she considered _Octavio_ to all the advantages that thought could conceive in one, who was not a lover of him; she knew he merited a heart, though she had none to give him; she found him charming without having a tenderness for him; she found him young and amorous without desire towards him; she found him great, rich, powerful and generous without designing on him; and though she knew her soul free from all pa.s.sion, but that for _Philander_, nevertheless she blushed and was angry, that he had thoughts no more advantageous to the power of those charms, which she wish'd might appear to him above her s.e.x, it being natural to women to desire conquests, though they hate the conquered; to glory in the triumph, though they despise the slave: and she believed, while _Octavio_ had so poor a sense of her beauty as to believe it could be forsaken, he would adore it less: and first, to satisfy her pride, she left the softer business of her heart to the next tormenting hour, and sent him this careless answer by his page, believing, if she valued his opinion; and therefore dissembled her thoughts, as women in those cases ever do, who when most angry seem the most galliard, especially when they have need of the friends.h.i.+p of those they flatter.
SYLVIA _to_ OCTAVIO.
Is it indeed, _Octavio_, that you believe _Philander_ cold, or would you make that a pretext to the declaration of your own pa.s.sion? We _French_ ladies are not so nicely tied up to the formalities of virtue, but we can hear love at both ears: and if we receive not the addresses of both, at least we are perhaps vain enough not to be displeased to find we make new conquests. But you have made your attack with so ill conduct, that I shall find force enough without more aids to repulse you. Alas, my lord, did you believe my heart was left unguarded when _Philander_ departed? No, the careful charming lover left a thousand little G.o.ds to defend it, of no less power than himself; young deities, who laugh at all your little arts and treacheries, and scorn to resign their empire to any feeble _Cupids_ you can draw up against them: your thick foggy air breeds love too dull and heavy for n.o.ble flights, nor can I stoop to them. The _Flemish_ boy wants arrows keen enough for hearts like mine, and is a bungler in his art, too lazy and remiss, rather a heavy _Bacchus_ than a _Cupid_, a bottle sends him to his bed of moss, where he sleeps hard, and never dreams of _Venus_.
How poorly have you paid yourself, my lord, (by this pursuit of your discovered love) for all the little friends.h.i.+p you have rendered me!
How well you have explained, you can be no more a lover than a friend, if one may judge the first by the last! Had you been thus obstinate in your pa.s.sion before _Philander_ went, or you had believed me abandoned, I should perhaps have thought that you had loved indeed, because I should have seen you durst, and should have believed it true, because it ran some hazards for me, the resolution of it would have reconciled me then to the temerity of it, and the greatest demonstration you could have given of it, would have been the danger you would have ran and contemned, and the preference of your pa.s.sion above any other consideration. This, my lord, had been generous and like a lover; but poorly thus to set upon a single woman in the disguise of a friend, in the dark silent melancholy hour of absence from _Philander_, then to surprise me, then to bid me deliver! to pad for hearts! It is not like _Octavio_, _Octavio_ that _Philander_ made his friend, and for whose dear sake, my lord, I will no farther reproach you, but from a goodness, which, I hope, you will merit, I will forgive an offence, which your ill-timing has rendered almost inexcusable, and expect you will for the future consider better how you ought to treat
SYLVIA.
As soon as she had dismissed the page, she hasted to her business of love, and again read over _Philander_'s, letter, and finding still new occasion for fear, she had recourse to pen and paper for a relief of that heart which no other way could find; and after having wiped the tears from her eyes, she writ this following letter.
SYLVIA _to_ PHILANDER.
Yes, _Philander_, I have received your letter, and but I found my name there, should have hoped it was not meant for _Sylvia_! Oh! It is all cold--short--short and cold as a dead winter's day. It chilled my blood, it s.h.i.+vered every vein. Where, oh where hast thou lavished out all those soft words so natural to thy soul, with which thou usedst to charm; so tuned to the dear music of thy voice? What is become of all the tender things, which, as I used to read, made little nimble pantings in my heart, my blushes rise, and tremblings in my blood, adding new fire to the poor burning victim! Oh where are all thy pretty flatteries of love, that made me fond and vain, and set a value on this trifling beauty? Hast thou forgot thy wondrous art of loving?
Thy pretty cunnings, and thy soft deceivings? Hast thou forgot them all? Or hast thou forgot indeed to love at all? Has thy industrious pa.s.sion gathered all the sweets, and left the rifled flower to hang its withered head, and die in I shades neglected? For who will prize it now, now when all its I perfumes are fled? Oh my _Philander_, oh my charming fugitive! Was it not enough you left me, like false _Theseus_, on the sh.o.r.e, on the forsaken sh.o.r.e, departed from my fond, my clasping arms; where I believed you safe, secure and pleased, when sleep and night, that favoured you and ruined me, had rendered them incapable of their dear loss! Oh was it not enough, that when I found them empty and abandoned, and the place cold where you had lain, and my poor trembling bosom unpossessed of that dear load it bore, that I almost expired with my first fears? Oh, if _Philander_ loved, he would have thought that cruelty enough, without the sad addition of a growing coldness: I awaked, I missed thee, and I called aloud, '_Philander_! my _Philander_!' But no Philander heard; then drew the close-drawn curtains, and with a hasty and busy view surveyed the chamber over; but oh! In vain I viewed, and called yet louder, but none appeared to my a.s.sistance but _Antonet_ and _Brilliard_, to torture me with dull excuses, urging a thousand feigned and frivolous reasons to satisfy my fears: but I, who loved, who doted even to madness, by nature soft, and timorous as a dove, and fearful as a criminal escaped, that dreads each little noise, fancied their eyes and guilty looks confessed the treasons of their hearts and tongues, while they, more kind than true, strove to convince my killing doubts, protested that you would return by night, and feigned a likely story to deceive. Thus between hope and fear I languished out a day; oh heavens! A tedious day without _Philander_: who would have thought that such a dismal day should not, with the end of its reign, have finished that of my life! But then _Octavio_ came to visit me, and who till then I never wished to see, but now I was impatient for his coming, who by degrees told me that you were gone--I never asked him where, or how, or why; that you were gone was enough to possess me of all I feared, your being apprehended and sent into _France_, your delivering yourself up, your abandoning me; all, all I had an easy faith for, without consulting more than that thou wert gone--that very word yet strikes a terror to my soul, disables my trembling hand, and I must wait for reinforcements from some kinder thoughts. But, oh!
From whence should they arrive? From what dear present felicity, or prospect of a future, though never so distant, and all those past ones serve but to increase my pain; they favour me no more, they charm and please no more, and only present themselves to my memory to complete the number of my sighs and tears, and make me wish that they had never been, though even with _Philander_? Oh! say, thou monarch of my panting soul, how hast thou treated _Sylvia_, to make her wish that she had never known a tender joy with thee? Is it possible she should repent her loving thee, and thou shouldst give her cause! Say, dear false charmer, is it? But oh, there is no lasting faith in sin!----Ah--What have I done? How dreadful is the scene of my first debauch, and how glorious that never to be regained prospect of my virgin innocence, where I sat enthroned in awful virtue, crowned with s.h.i.+ning honour, and adorned with unsullied reputation, till thou, O tyrant _Love_, with a charming usurpation invaded all my glories; and which I resigned with greater pride and joy than a young monarch puts them on. Oh! Why then do I repent? As if the vast, the dear expense of pleasures past were not enough to recompense for all the pains of love to come? But why, oh why do I treat thee as a lover lost already? Thou art not, canst not; no, I will not believe it, till thou thyself confess it: nor shall the omission of a tender word or two make me believe thou hast forgot thy vows. Alas, it may be I mistake thy cares, thy hard fatigues of life, thy present ill circ.u.mstances (and all the melancholy effects of thine and my misfortunes) for coldness and declining love. Alas, I had forgot my poor my dear _Philander_ is now obliged to contrive for life as well as love, thou perhaps (fearing the worst) are preparing eloquence for a council table; and in thy busy and guilty imaginations haranguing it to the grave judges, defending thy innocence, or evading thy guilt: feeing advocates, excepting juries, and confronting witnesses, when thou shouldst be giving satisfaction to my fainting love-sick heart: sometimes in thy labouring fancy the horror of a dreadful sentence for an ignominious death, strikes upon thy tender soul with a force that frights the little G.o.d from thence, and I am persuaded there are some moments of this melancholy nature, wherein your _Sylvia_ is even quite forgotten, and this too she can think just and reasonable, without reproaching thy heart with a declining pa.s.sion, especially when I am not by to call thy fondness up, and divert thy more tormenting hours: but oh, for those soft minutes thou hast designed for love, and hast dedicated to _Sylvia, Philander_ should dismiss the dull formalities of rigid business, the pressing cares of dangers, and have given a loose to softness. Could my _Philander_ imagine this short and unloving letter sufficient to atone for such an absence? And has _Philander_ then forgotten the pain with which I languished, when but absent from him an hour? How then can he imagine I can live, when distant from him so many leagues, and so many days? While all the scanty comfort I have for life is, that one day we might meet again; but where, or when, or how-thou hast not love enough so much as to divine; but poorly leavest me to be satisfied by _Octavio_, committing the business of thy heart, the once great importance of thy soul, the most necessary devoirs of thy life, to be supplied by another. Oh _Philander_, I have known a blessed time in our reign of love, when thou wouldst have thought even all thy own power of too little force to satisfy the doubting soul of _Sylvia_: tell me, _Philander_, hast thou forgot that time? I dare not think thou hast, and yet (O G.o.d) I find an alteration, but heaven divert the omen: yet something whispers to my soul, I am undone! Oh, where art thou, my _Philander_? Where is thy heart? And what has it been doing since it begun my fate? How can it justify thy coldness, and thou this cruel absence, without accounting with me for every parting hour? My charming dear was wont to find me business for all my lonely absent ones; and writ the softest letters--loading the paper with fond vows and wishes, which ere I had read over another would arrive, to keep eternal warmth about my soul; nor wert thou ever wearied more with writing, than I with reading, or with sighing after thee; but now--oh! There is some mystery in it I dare not understand.
Be kind at least and satisfy my fears, for it is a wondrous pain to live in doubt; if thou still lovest me, swear it over anew! And curse me if I do not credit thee. But if thou art declining--or shouldst be sent a shameful victim into _France_--oh thou deceiving charmer, yet be just, and let me know my doom: by heaven this last will find a welcome to me, for it will end the torment of my doubts and fears of losing thee another way, and I shall have the joy to die with thee, die beloved, and die
Thy SYLVIA.
Having read over this letter, she feared she had said too much of her doubts and apprehensions of a change in him; for now she flies to all the little stratagems and artifices of lovers, she begins to consider the worst, and to make the best of that; but quite abandoned she could not believe herself, without flying into all the rage that disappointed woman could be possessed with. She calls _Brilliard_, shews him his lord's letters, and told him, (while he read) her doubts and fears; he being thus instructed by herself in the way how to deceive her on, like fortune-tellers, who gather people's fortune from themselves, and then return it back for their own divinity; tells her he saw indeed a change! Glad to improve her fear, and feigns a sorrow almost equal to hers: 'It is evident,' says he, 'it is evident, that he is the most ungrateful of his s.e.x! Pardon, madam,' (continued he, bowing) 'if my zeal for the most charming creature on earth, make me forget my duty to the best of masters and friends.' 'Ah, _Brilliard_,'
cried she, with an air of languishment that more enflamed him, 'have a care, lest that mistaken zeal for me should make you profane virtue, which has not, but on this occasion, shewed that it wanted angels for its guard. Oh, _Brilliard_, if he be false--if the dear man be perjured, take, take, kind heaven, the life you have preserved but for a greater proof of your revenge'----and at that word she sunk into his arms, which he hastily extended as she was falling, both to save her from harm, and to give himself the pleasure of grasping the loveliest body in the world to his bosom, on which her fair face declined, cold, dead, and pale; but so transporting was the pleasure of that dear burden, that he forgot to call for, or to use any aid to bring her back to life, but trembling with his love and eager pa.s.sion, he took a thousand joys, he kissed a thousand times her lukewarm lips, sucked her short sighs, and ravished all the sweets, her bosom (which was but guarded with a loose night-gown) yielded his impatient touches. Oh heaven, who can express the pleasures he received, because no other way he ever could arrive to so much daring? It was all beyond his hope; loose were her robes, insensible the maid, and love had made him insolent, he roved, he kissed, he gazed, without control, forgetting all respect of persons, or of place, and quite despairing by fair means to win her, resolves to take this lucky opportunity; the door he knew was fast, for the counsel she had to ask him admitted of no lookers-on, so that at his entrance she had secured the pa.s.s for him herself, and being near her bed, when she fell into his arms, at this last daring thought he lifts her thither, and lays her gently down, and while he did so, in one minute ran over all the killing joys he had been witness to, which she had given _Philander_; on which he never paus'd, but urged by a _Cupid_ altogether malicious and wicked, he resolves his cowardly conquest, when some kinder G.o.d awakened _Sylvia_, and brought _Octavio_ to the chamber door; who having been used to a freedom, which was permitted to none but himself, with _Antonet_ her woman, waiting for admittance, after having knocked twice softly, _Brittiard_ heard it, and redoubled his disorder, which from that of love, grew to that of surprise; he knew not what to do, whether to refuse answering, or to re-establish the reviving sense of _Sylvia_; in this moment of perplexing thought he failed not however to set his hair in order, and adjust him, though there were no need of it, and stepping to the door (after having raised _Sylvia_, leaning her head on her hand on the bed-side,) he gave admittance to _Octavio_; but, oh heaven, how was he surprised when he saw it was _Octavio_? His heart with more force than before redoubled its beats, that one might easily perceive every stroke by the motion of his cravat; he blushed, which, to a complexion perfectly fair, as that of _Brilliard_ (who wants no beauty, either in face or person) was the more discoverable, add to this his trembling, and you may easily imagine what a figure he represented himself to _Octavio_; who almost as much surprised as himself to find the G.o.ddess of his vows and devotions with a young _Endymion_ alone, a door shut to, her gown loose, which (from the late fit she was in, and _Brilliard_'s rape upon her bosom) was still open, and discovered a world of unguarded beauty, which she knew not was in view, with some other disorders of her headcloths, gave him in a moment a thousand false apprehensions: _Antonet_ was no less surprised; so that all had their part of amazement but the innocent _Sylvia_, whose eyes were beautified with a melancholy calm, which almost set the generous lover at ease, and took away his new fears; however, he could not choose but ask _Brilliard_ what the matter was with him, he looked so out of countenance, and trembled so? He told him how _Sylvia_ had been, and what extreme frights she had possessed him with, and told him the occasion, which the lovely _Sylvia_ with her eyes and sighs a.s.sented to, and _Brilliard_ departed; how well pleased you may imagine, or with what gusto he left her to be with the lovely _Octavio_, whom he perceived too well was a lover in the disguise of a friend. But there are in love those wonderful lovers who can quench the fire one beauty kindles with some other object, and as much in love as _Brilliard_ was, he found _Antonet_ an antidote that dispelled the grosser part of it; for she was in love with our amorous friend, and courted him with that pa.s.sion those of that country do almost all handsome strangers; and one convenient principle of the religion of that country is, to think it no sin to be kind while they are single women, though otherwise (when wives) they are just enough, nor does a woman that manages her affairs thus discreetly meet with any reproach; of this humour was our _Antonet_, who pursued her lover out, half jealous there might be some amorous intrigue between her lady and him, which she sought in vain by all the feeble arts of her country's s.e.x to get from him; while on the other side he believing she might be of use in the farther discovery he desired to make between _Octavio_ and _Sylvia_, not only told her she herself was the object of his wishes, but gave her substantial proofs on it, and told her his design, after having her honour for security that she would be secret, the best pledge a man can take of a woman: after she had promised to betray all things to him, she departed to her affairs, and he to giving his lord an account of _Sylvia_, as he desired, in a letter which came to him with that of _Sylvia_; and which was thus:
PHILANDER _to_ BRILLIARD.
I doubt not but you will wonder that all this time you have not heard of me, nor indeed can well excuse it, since I have been in a place whence with ease I could have sent every post; but a new affair of gallantry has engaged my thoughtful hours, not that I find any pa.s.sion here that has abated one sigh for _Sylvia_; but a man's hours are very dull, when undiverted by an intrigue of some kind or other, especially to a heart young and gay as mine is, and which would not, if possible, bend under the fatigues of more serious thought and business; I should not tell you this, but that I would have you say all the dilatory excuses that possibly you can to hinder _Sylvia_'s coming to me, while I remain in this town, where I design to make my abode but a short time, and had not stayed at all, but for this stop to my journey, and I scorn to be vanquished without taking my revenge; it is a sally of youth, no more--a flash, that blazes for a while, and will go out without enjoyment. I need not bid you keep this knowledge to yourself, for I have had too good a confirmation of your faith and friends.h.i.+p to doubt you now, and believe you have too much respect for _Sylvia_ to occasion her any disquiet. I long to know how she takes my absence, send me at large of all that pa.s.ses, and give your letters to _Octavio_, for none else shall know where I am, or how to send to me: be careful of _Sylvia_, and observe her with diligence, for possibly I should not be extravagantly afflicted to find she was inclined to love me less for her own ease and mine, since love is troublesome when the height of it carries it to jealousies, little quarrels, and eternal discontents; all which beginning lovers prize, and pride themselves on every distrust of the fond mistress, since it is not only a demonstration of love in them, but of power and charms in us that occasion it. But when we no longer find the mistress so desirable, as our first wishes form her, we value less their opinion of our persons, and only endeavour to render it agreeable to new beauties, and adorn it for new conquests; but you, _Brilliard_, have been a lover, and understand already this philosophy. I need say no more then to a man who knows so well my soul, but to tell him I am his constant friend.
PHILANDER.
This came as _Brilliard_'s soul could wish, and had he sent him word he had been chosen King of _Poland_, he could not have received the news with so great joy, and so perfect a welcome. How to manage this to his best advantage was the business he was next to consult, after returning an answer; now he fancied himself sure of the lovely prize, in spite of all other oppositions: 'For' (says he, in reasoning the case) 'if she can by degrees arrive to a coldness to _Philander_, and consider him no longer as a lover, she may perhaps consider me as a husband; or should she receive _Octavio_'s addresses, when once I have found her feeble, I will make her pay me for keeping of every secret.'
So either way he entertained a hope, though never so distant from reason and probability; but all things seem possible to longing lovers, who can on the least hope resolve to out-wait even eternity (if possible) in expectation of a promised blessing; and now with more than usual care he resolved to dress, and set out all his youth and beauty to the best advantage; and being a gentleman well born, he wanted no arts of dressing, nor any advantage of shape or mien, to make it appear well: pleased with this hope, his art was now how to make his advances without appearing to have designed doing so. And first to act the hypocrite with his lord was his business; for he considered rightly, if he should not represent _Sylvia_'s sorrows to the life, and appear to make him sensible of them, he should not be after credited if he related any thing to her disadvantage; for to be the greater enemy, you ought to seem to be the greatest friend. This was the policy of his heart, who in all things was inspired with fanatical notions. In order to this, being alone in his chamber, after the defeat he had in that of _Sylvia_'s, he writ this letter.
BRILLIARD _to_ PHILANDER.
_My Lord,_
You have done me the honour to make me your confidant in an affair that does not a little surprise me; since I believed, after _Sylvia_, no mortal beauty could have touched your heart, and nothing but your own excuses could have sufficed to have made it reasonable; and I only wish, that when the fatal news shall arrive to _Sylvia_'s ear (as for me it never shall) that she may think it as pardonable as I do; but I doubt it will add abundance of grief to what she is already possessed of, if but such a fear should enter in her tender thoughts. But since it is not my business, my lord, to advise or counsel, but to obey, I leave you to all the success of happy love, and will only give you an account how affairs stand here, since your departure.
That morning you left the _Brill_, and _Sylvia_ in bed, I must disturb your more serene thoughts with telling you, that her first surprise and griefs at the news of your departure were most deplorable, where raging madness and the softer pa.s.sion of love, complaints of grief, and anger, sighs, tears and cries were so mixed together, and by turns so violently seized her, that all about her wept and pitied her: it was sad, it was wondrous sad, my lord, to see it: nor could we hope her life, or that she would preserve it if she could; for by many ways she attempted to have released herself from pain by a violent death, and those that strove to preserve that, could not hope she would ever have returned to sense again: sometimes a wild extravagant raving would require all our aid, and then again she would talk and rail so tenderly----and express her resentment in the kindest softest words that ever madness uttered, and all of her _Philander_, till she has set us all a weeping round her; sometimes she'd sit as calm and still as death, and we have perceived she lived only by sighs and silent tears that fell into her bosom; then on a sudden wildly gaze upon us with eyes that even then had wondrous charms, and frantically survey us all, then cry aloud, 'Where is my Lord _Philander_!----Oh, bring me my _Philander_, _Brilliard_: Oh, _Antonet_, where have you hid the treasure of my soul?' Then, weeping floods of tears, would sink all fainting in our arms. Anon with trembling words and sighs she'd cry----'But oh, my dear _Philander_ is no more, you have surrendered him to _France_----Yes, yes, you have given him up, and he must die, publicly die, be led a sad victim through the joyful crowd--reproached, and fall ingloriously----' Then rave again, and tear her lovely hair, and act such wildness,--so moving and so sad, as even infected the pitying beholders, and all we could do, was gently to persuade her grief, and soothe her raving fits; but so we swore, so heartily we vowed that you were safe, that with the aid of _Octavio_, who came that day to visit her, we made her capable of hearing a little reason from us. _Octavio_ kneeled, and begged she would but calmly hear him speak, he p.a.w.ned his soul, his honour, and his life, _Philander_ was as safe from any injury, either from _France_, or any other enemy, as he, as she, or heaven itself. In fine, my lord, he vowed, he swore, and pleaded, till she with patience heard him tell his story, and the necessity of your absence; this brought her temper back, and dried her eyes, then sighing, answered him----that if for your safety you were fled, she would forgive your cruelty and your absence, and endeavour to be herself again: but then she would a thousand times conjure him not to deceive her faith, by all the friends.h.i.+p that he bore _Philander_, not to possess her with false hopes; then would he swear anew; and as he swore, she would behold him with such charming sadness in her eyes that he almost forgot what he would say, to gaze upon her, and to pa.s.s his pity. But, if with all his power of beauty and of rhetoric he left her calm, he was no sooner gone, but she returned to all the tempests of despairing love, to all the unbelief of faithless pa.s.sion, would neither sleep, nor eat, nor suffer day to enter; but all was sad and gloomy as the vault that held the _Ephesian_ matron, nor suffered she any to approach her but her page, and Count _Octavio_, and he in the midst of all was well received: not that I think, my lord, she feigned any part of that close retirement to entertain him with any freedom, that did not become a woman of perfect love and honour; though I must own, my lord, I believe it impossible for him to behold the lovely _Sylvia_, without having a pa.s.sion for her. What restraint his friends.h.i.+p to you may put upon his heart or tongue I know not, but I conclude him a lover, though without success; what effects that may have upon the heart of _Sylvia_, only time can render an account of: and whose conduct I shall the more particularly observe from a curiosity natural to me, to see if it may be possible for _Sylvia_ to love again, after the adorable _Philander_, which levity in one so perfect would cure me of the disease of love, while I lived amongst the fickle s.e.x: but since no such thought can yet get possession of my belief, I humbly beg your lords.h.i.+p will entertain no jealousy, that may be so fatal to your repose, and to that of _Sylvia_; doubt not but my fears proceed perfectly from the zeal I have for your lords.h.i.+p, for whose honour and tranquillity none shall venture so far as, my lord, your lords.h.i.+p's most humble and obedient servant,
Love-Letters Between a Nobleman and His Sister Part 7
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