The German Classics of the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries Volume Iv Part 38

THE PIT.

All of us, all of us!

JACKPUD.

Your obedient servant; it is too great an honor by far. Yes, G.o.d knows, he is a wretched writer--only to give a bad example; what a miserable part he has given me! Where, pray, am I witty and funny? I appear in so few scenes, and I believe, if I hadn't stepped forward even now, by a lucky chance, I should not have appeared again at all.

PLAYWRIGHT (_rus.h.i.+ng forward_).

Impudent fellow--

JACKPUD.

Look, he is even jealous of the small part I am playing now.

PLAYWRIGHT (_on the other side of the stage with a bow_).

Worthy friends! I never should have dared to give this man a more important part since I know your taste--

JACKPUDDING (_on the other side_).

_Your_ taste? Now you see his jealousy--and they have all just declared that my taste is the same as theirs.

PLAYWR.

I wished, by means of the present play, only to prepare you for even more extravagant products of the imagination.

ALL IN THE PIT.

How? What?

JACKPUD.

Of course for plays in which I would have no part to act at all.

PLAYWR.

For the development of this matter must advance step by step.

JACKPUD.

Don't believe a word he says!

PLAYWR.

Now I withdraw, not to interrupt the course of the play any longer.

[_Exit._]

JACKPUD.

Adieu, until we meet again. (_Exit, returns again quickly._) _Apropos_--another thing--the discussion which has just taken place among us is not part of the play either.

[_Exit._]

THE PIT (_laughs_).

JACKPUDDING (_returns again quickly_).

Let us finish the wretched play today; make believe you do not notice at all how bad it is; as soon as I get home I'll sit down and write one for you that you will certainly like.

[_Exit, some applause._]

(_Enter_ GOTTLIEB _and_ HINZE)

GOTTLIEB.

Dear Hinze, it is true you are doing much for me, but I still cannot understand what good it is going to do me.

HINZE.

Upon my word, I want to make you happy.

GOTTLIEB.

Happiness must come soon, very soon, otherwise it will be too late; it is already half past seven and the comedy ends at eight.

HINZE.

Say, what the devil does that mean?

GOTTLIEB.

Oh, I was lost in thought--See! I meant to say, how beautifully the sun has risen. The accursed prompter speaks so indistinctly; and then if you want to extemporize once in a while, it always goes wrong.

HINZE (_quietly_).

Do bethink yourself, otherwise the whole play will break in a thousand pieces.

SCHLOSS.

I wish somebody would tell me why I can no longer understand anything.

FISCHER.

My intelligence is at a standstill too.

GOTTLIEB.