The Right Knock Part 9

The very next morning the letter was written and the money sent for the new paper.

Mrs. Reade came over on one of her bird-like errands, and of course, must hear something of the great help that had come so unexpectedly.

"How fortunate it came just now, for I have noticed several weeks you have been losing courage, and as for myself, I don't seem to know what to do in any case any more," she exclaimed, after hearing a few extracts read from the paper. "Now you will find out who the teacher is and--"

"I shall go away to take lessons as soon as possible," interrupted Mrs.

Hayden. "Yes, I must go," she continued, "and see what there is in it. I have already experienced too much physically and spiritually to be able to give it up."

"Indeed, you have certainly had as much of a proof as one could wish. If I could only do as much as you have, I should feel that it would be better to go without many other things rather than this."

Mrs. Reade forgot that she had been able to keep little May in perfect health; that she herself had ceased worrying over trifles and learned to make the best of everything. To her, the change had been so gradual that she hardly knew in what it consisted. In the meetings held by the few who were interested she had, unconsciously almost, given many glimpses of her private efforts and success, which showed how faithfully she used what light she had.

"I wonder what Mrs. Grant would say to this," she resumed, after looking over the paper. "I think she ought to take this paper, too. Of course, I expect to read yours," with an arch smile.

"As you certainly may, I will let you have this number this afternoon; I can't spare it yet. You can't imagine the abyss I fell into yesterday.

It seemed that I had not only lost the ability to hold myself up, but the self respect that would help to regain my footing."

"'It is always darkest before the dawn', they say," quoted Mrs. Reade, merrily, "and now the dawn of our delivery is at hand, we shall know what to do before the twilight comes again. But I came after your jelly mold and must not stand here all day talking about things so utterly unlike--well, good-bye! I can hardly tear myself away when I talk with you," and she ran out with a gay smile.

Nearly every week these last few months Mrs. Hayden, Mrs. Reade, Mrs.

Grant and occasionally one or two others had met to read and talk on the all-absorbing topic and gain confidence and strength by an exchange of ideas and experiences; but they knew not how to draw from the fountain of knowledge itself, and while they had learned much and gained much, there was a lack which, in the moment of trial, they knew not how to supply.

In a few days Mrs. Hayden received the coveted information as to the ident.i.ty of the wonderful teacher, and that she was to teach several cla.s.ses in Marlow, only two hundred miles away, which quite set her on fire with impatience to go at once.

But circ.u.mstances were not propitious. There were many details to be arranged, much to be considered. What should be done with the children?

Could she afford it? What could she wear? In her eagerness she could have overcome every obstacle within an hour, but her better judgment told her to be patient a little longer, a decision her husband quite approved.

In the meantime she tried to live more faithfully up to the light she had received, but the first flush of faith that had brought forth the works, seemed gone, and she knew not how to bring it back. Not that she was not just as earnest, not that she had lost a whit of her faith or interest, but the fire of impulse, unclouded by doubt, had disappeared.

She thought about it every leisure moment, but concluded at last to let go such intense effort that must necessarily be blind, and live more in the "holy carelessness of the eternal Now," as George MacDonald so beautifully expressed it in his book she was reading.

In one respect she fared as comparatively few women do, who hunger after spiritual things; she had her husband's full sympathy and co-operation.

Afterward, when she had seen more of the world and knew more about other women's lives, she realized the value of it, realized that without it she would have starved before she could have feasted. Oh, the sweet influence of a sympathy that unites and harmonizes two natures, no matter how opposite in character and tendencies.

CHAPTER XI.

"As out of a dream, paths impossible to sense and every day show plain and sudden transit into distant places, so from your shut souls widens out an entrance way into G.o.d's everlasting joy!"

--_A. D. T. Whitney._

At last the time came. She was to go for the last cla.s.s in Marlow. The last problem as to what to be done while she was gone had been solved.

The children were to be under the kind care of Anna, who agreed to do her best in looking after them.

Mrs. Hayden's wardrobe had received the necessary additions, the question of affording was not asked again, for it was like asking if she could afford food or clothing.

It meant a great deal to her, going out in the world to get this wonderful knowledge. It was a new way of seeking the kingdom of heaven, and it must surely teach the right knock that would open the door. The little light that had already come to her proved that, for never before in all her years of hungry longing had she been so well fed, so visibly nourished. Surely her soul could not be mistaken in thus dictating her quest.

"It seems too good to be true, John, that there _is_ a way and that I am going to find it," she said a few days before she went away.

"I am very glad, dear Marion, for your sake, that you are so happy in this. It certainly is a beautiful religion as far as we can understand it."

"Yes, the very thing we tried so hard to find during all those years of darkness, and I have begun to actually feel thankful for our misfortunes, because it seems they have led us into this knowledge. What would we have known or cared for Miss Greening, had we been living in the mansion on the hill? Or what would we have believed, even if we had read something about Christian Healing?"

"It is hard to tell, but if you are content I am, wifie, although I should like the old home again."

Like many others he was able to appreciate the material good things, but knew not that the material are but emblems or symbols of the spiritual.

"We shall possess something far better than all the palaces and kingdoms of the earth, if we get this 'pearl of great price.' I know now what it means for the rich to hardly enter the kingdom of heaven. It is because they are so satisfied in their rich possessions they feel they have everything worth having and need nothing more. That very indifference and apathy keeps them from getting spiritual treasures."

"How true that is, Marion," said her husband, stroking his mustache thoughtfully.

Just then the door bell rang and the girl presently ushered Grace and Kate into the room.

"Why, how do you do? I am more than glad to see you," said Mrs. Hayden, warmly grasping a hand in each of hers.

"It is such a lovely evening that we felt we should like a walk, and as we generally gravitate toward your house, here we are," said Kate, laying aside her hat.

"Do you know I am going to Marlow to take the Christian Healing lessons?" asked Mrs. Hayden, with a bright smile, as they were cosily seated for their chat.

"Are you, really? I am so glad, Mrs. Hayden," said Grace. "When are you going?"

"Monday, on the afternoon train, and I shall be gone three weeks. It seems a long time now, but I hope it will be so profitable and pleasant that it will not seem long while it is pa.s.sing."

Kate looked very grave. Finally she said: "Well, Mrs. Hayden, I am sorry you are going."

"Why?" exclaimed Mrs. Hayden.

"Why?" echoed Grace, and the host looked the interrogation he did not verbally express.

"Because I am seriously afraid it is wrong. Just a few days ago I had a talk with the minister, and he is very decided in his denunciation of it, saying it is plainly contrary to the teachings of the Bible, and I have been reading an article this afternoon that is very convincing in its arguments against it. No, Grace, you needn't shake your head. I have been cowardly and lazy long enough about my religion, now I shall stand up for what I think is right, and I love Mrs. Hayden too well not to warn her of what I believe to be a most dangerous heresy."

She had evidently nerved herself to say this, but her voice trembled with earnestness, and when she finished there were tears in her eyes.

"I thank you, dear Kate, for your sincere regard, and appreciate your motive most deeply, but of course, that can not change my mind now,"

said Mrs. Hayden, much touched.

"That, of course, is for you to decide, but I have suddenly realized my religious responsibility as never before, and have been earnestly considering this matter. At first it seemed all right and very beautiful, but I believe it is only the work of the devil to get people into his net of wickedness."

Grace was too astonished for speech; now she understood what Kate had meant by her disinclination to talk on the subject since that night they had heard Miss Greening. _Now_ her thoughtful spells were explained, as well as her eager desire to come here to-night.

"I do not see why the ministers should oppose it as they do," said Mr.

Hayden, after a short silence.

"If you look back over the history you will find they opposed giving freedom to the slaves; they opposed the temperance movement until it was forced upon them. Many of them now oppose woman's suffrage, though their audiences are often composed almost entirely of women. It seems a great mystery why they should oppose any of these good and necessary reforms, but I think it is because they are only mortal men, and have many mortal faults and a great deal of mortal ignorance," said Grace, recovering her tongue at last.