A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vi Part 44

Of troth, how likest thou this fellow, Dissimulation?

DISSIMULATION.

Marry, I like him well: he is a cunning clerk, and one of our profession.

But come, sir, go with us, and we will prefer you.

ARTIFEX.

Good Master Fraud, remember me.

FRAUD.

Leave thy prating: I will, I tell thee.

ARTIFEX.

Good Master Dissimulation, think on me.

DISSIMULATION.

Thou art too importunate and greedy.

FRAUD.

Come after dinner, or some other time, when we are at leisure.

[DISSIMULATION, FRAUD, _and_ LAWYER _exeunt_.

ARTIFEX.

Come after dinner, or some other time! I think so[170] indeed, For full little do they think of a poor man's need.

These fellows will do nothing for pity and love, And thrice happy are they that hath no need them to prove.

G.o.d he knows the world is grown to such a stay, That men must use Fraud and Dissimulation too, or beg by the way.

Therefore I'll do as the most doth; the fewest shall laugh me to scorn, And be a fellow amongst good fellows to hold by St Luke's horn.

[_Exit_.

_Enter_ SIMPLICITY _and_ SINCERITY.

SINCERITY.

Good Cousin Simplicity, do somewhat for me.

SIMPLICITY.

Yes, faith, Cousin Sincerity, I'll do anything for thee.

What wouldst for me to do for thee? canst tell that?

[SINCERITY.]

Ma.s.s, I cannot tell what shouldst do for me, except thou wouldst give me a new hat.

SIMPLICITY.

Alas! I am not able to give thee a new.

Why, I marvel then how thou dost do: Dost thou get thy living amongst beggars, from door to door?

Indeed, Cousin Sincerity, I had thought thou wast not so poor.

SINCERITY.

Nay, Cousin Simplicity, I got my living hardly, but yet I hope just, And with good conscience too, although I am restrained from my l.u.s.t.

But this is it, Cousin Simplicity, I would request you to do for me, Which is to get Lady Love and Lady Conscience' hand to a letter, That by their means I may get some benefice, to make me live the better.

SIMPLICITY.

Yes; I'll do so much for thee, cousin; but hast thou any here?

SINCERITY.

Ay, behold they are ready-drawn, if a.s.signed[171] they were.

[_Let_ SIMPLICITY _make as though he read it, and look quite over; meanwhile let_ CONSCIENCE _enter_.

SIMPLICITY.

Let me see, cousin, for I can read.

Ma.s.s, 'tis bravely done: didst thou it indeed?

Mistress Conscience, I have a matter to bequest you to.

CONSCIENCE.

What is't? I doubt not but 'tis some wise thing, if it be for you.

SIMPLICITY.

Marry, my cousin Sincerity wad desire to scribe these papers here, That he may get some preferment, but I know not where.

CONSCIENCE.

Be these your letters? what would you have me do, and how shall I call ye?

SINCERITY.

Lady, my name is Sincerity.

CONSCIENCE.

And from whence come ye?

SINCERITY.

I came from Oxford, but in Cambridge I studied late;[172]

Having nothing, thought good, if I could, to make better my state: But if I had, instead of divinity, the law, astronomy, astrology, Physiognomy, palmestry, arithmetic, logic, music, physic, or any such thing, I had not doubted, then, but to have had some better living.

But divines, that preach the word of G.o.d sincerely and truly, Are in these days little or nothing at all[173] set by.

G.o.d grant the good preachers be not taken away for our unthankfulness!

There never was more preaching and less following, the people live so amiss.

But what is he that may not on the Sabbath-day attend to hear G.o.d's word, But he will rather run to bowls, sit at the alehouse, than one hour afford, Telling a tale of Robin Hood, sitting at cards, playing at skittles[174], or some other vain thing, That I fear G.o.d's vengeance on our heads it will bring.

G.o.d grant amendment! But, Lady Conscience, I pray, In my behalf unto Lucre do what ye may.

SIMPLICITY.

Ma.s.s, my cousin can say his book well: I had not thought it.

He's worthy to have a benefice, and it will hit.

CONSCIENCE.

G.o.d be blessed, Sincerity, for the good comfort I have of thee: I would it lay in us to pleasure such, believe me.

We will do what we can; but _ultra posse non est esse_, you know: It is Lucre that hath brought us poor souls so low; For we have sold our house, we are brought so poor, And fear by her shortly to be shut out of door.

Yet to subscribe our name we will with all our heart: Perchance for our sakes something she will impart.

Come hither, Simplicity; let me write on thy back.

SIMPLICITY.

Here is the right picture of that fellow that sits in the corner.[175]