A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Ix Part 79

That you may know what profit light doth bring, Note Lumen's words, that speaks next following.

LUM. Light, the fair grandchild to the glorious sun, Opening the cas.e.m.e.nts of the rosy morn, Makes the abashed heavens soon to shun The ugly darkness it embrac'd beforn;[258]

And, at his first appearance, puts to flight The utmost relics of the h.e.l.l-born night.

This heavenly s.h.i.+eld, soon as it is display'd, Dismays the vices that abhor the light; To wanderers by sea and land gives aid; Conquers dismay, recomforteth affright; Rouseth dull idleness, and starts soft sleep, And all the world to daily labour keep.

This a true looking-gla.s.s impartial, Where beauty's self herself doth beautify With native hue, not artificial, Discovering falsehood, opening verity: The day's bright eye colours distinction, Just judge of measure and proportion.

The only means by which each mortal eye Sends messengers to the wide firmament, That to the longing soul brings presently High contemplation and deep wonderment; By which aspirement she her wings displays, And herself thither, whence she came, upraise.

PHA. What blue thing's that, that's dappled so with stars.

VIS. He represents the heaven.

PHA. In my conceit 'Twere pretty, if he thundered when he speaks.

VIS. Then none could understand him.

COEL. Tropic, colures, the equinoctial, The zodiac, poles, and line ecliptical, The nadir, zenith, and anomalies, The azimuth and ephimerides, Stars, orbs, and planets, with their motions, The oriental regradations, Eccentrics, epicyctes, and--and--and--

PHA. How now, Visus, is your heaven at a stay, Or is it his _motus trepidationis_ that makes him stammer?

I pray you, Memory, set him a-gate[259] again.

MEM. I remember, when Jupiter made Amphitryo cuckold, and lay with his wife Alcmena, Coelum was in this taking for three days s.p.a.ce, and stood still just like him at a nonplus.

COM. SEN. Leave jesting; you'll put the fresh actor out of countenance.

COEL. Eccentrics, epicyctes, and aspects In s.e.xtile, trine and quadrate, which effects Wonders on earth: also the oblique part Of signs, that make the day both long and short, The constellations, rising cosmical, Setting of stars, chronic, and heliacal, In the horizon or meridional, And all the skill in deep astronomy, Is to the soul derived by the eye.

PHA. Visus, you have made Coelum a heavenly speech, past earthly capacity; it had been as good for him he had thundered. But I pray you, who taught him to speak and use no action? methinks it had been excellent to have turned round about in his speech.

VIS. He hath so many motions, he knows not which to begin withal.

PHA. Nay, rather it seems he's of Copernicus' opinion, and that makes him stand still.

[TERRA _comes to the midst of the stage, stands still a while, saith nothing, and steps back_.

COM. SEN. Let's hear what Terra can say--just nothing?

VIS. And't like your lords.h.i.+p, 'twere an indecorum Terra should speak.

MEM. You are deceived; for I remember, when Phaeton ruled the sun (I shall never forget him, he was a very pretty youth), the Earth opened her mouth wide, and spoke a very good speech to Jupiter.

ANA. By the same token Nilus hid his head then, he could never find it since.

PHA. You know, Memory, that was an extreme hot day, and 'tis likely Terra sweat much, and so took cold presently after, that ever since she hath lost her voice.

HER. A canton ermine added to the field Is a sure sign the man that bore these arms Was to his prince as a defensive s.h.i.+eld, Saving him from the force of present harms[260].

PHA. I know this fellow of old, 'tis a herald: many a centaur, chimaera[261], barnacle[262], crocodile, hippopotame, and such like toys hath he stolen out of the shop of my Invention, to shape new coats for his upstart gentlemen. Either Africa must breed more monsters,[263]

or you make fewer gentlemen, Master Herald, for you have spent all my devices already. But since you are here, let me ask you a question in your own profession: how comes it to pa.s.s that the victorious arms of England, quartered with the conquered coat of France, are not placed on the dexter side, but give the flower-de-luce the better hand?

HER. Because that the three lions are one coat made of two French dukedoms, Normandy and Aquitain.

[PHA.][264] But I pray you, Visus, what joy is that, that follows him?

VIS. 'Tis Colour, an object of mine, subject to his commandment.

PHA. Why speaks he not?

VIS. He is so bashful, he dares not speak for blus.h.i.+ng: What thing is that? tell me without delay.

BOY. That's nothing of itself, yet every way As like a man as a thing like may be: And yet so unlike as clean contrary, For in one point it every way doth miss, The right side of it a man's left side is; 'Tis lighter than a feather, and withal It fills no place nor room, it is so small.

COM. SEN. How now, Visus, have you brought a boy with a riddle to pose us all?

PHA. Pose us all, and I here? That were a jest indeed. My lord, if he have a Sphinx, I have an Oedipus, a.s.sure yourself; let's hear it once again.

BOY. What thing is that, sir, &c.

PHA. This such a knotty enigma? Why, my lord, I think 'tis a woman, for first a woman is nothing of herself, and, again, she is likest a man of anything.

COM. SEN. But wherein is she unlike?

PHA. In everything: in peevishness, in folly. 'St, boy?

HEU. In pride, deceit, prating, lying, cogging, coyness, spite, hate, sir.

PHA. And in many more such vices. Now, he may well say, the left side a man's right side is, for a cross wife is always contrary to her husband, ever contradicting what he wisheth for, like to the verse in Martial, _Velle tuum_.

MEM. _Velle tuum nolo, Dindyme, nolle volo_.

PHA. Lighter than a feather--doth any man make question of that?

MEM. They need not, for I remember I saw a cardinal weigh them once, and the woman was found three grains lighter.

COM. SEN. 'Tis strange, for I have seen gentlewomen wear feathers oftentimes. Can they carry heavier things than themselves?

MEM. O, sir, I remember, 'tis their only delight to do so.

COM. SEN. But how apply you the last verse? it fills no place, sir.

PHA. By my faith, that spoils all the former, for these farthingales take up all the room now-a-days; 'tis not a woman, questionless. Shall I be put down with a riddle? Sirrah Heuresis, search the corners of your conceit, and find it me quickly.

HEU. Eh, [Greek: heureka, heureka] I have it: 'tis a man's face in a looking-gla.s.s.

PHA. My lord, 'tis so indeed. Sirrah let's see it, for do you see my right eye here?

COM. SEN. What of your eye?

PHA. O lord, sir, this kind of frown is excellent, especially when 'tis sweetened with such a pleasing smile.