A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Xi Part 32

Thou hast given me that success my project hop'd.

Off, false disguise, that hast been true to me, And now be Bold, that thou may'st welcome be. [_Exit._

SCENE IV.

_Enter_ Wh.o.r.eBANG, BOTS,[103] TEARCHAPS, SPILLBLOOD, _and_ DRAWER: _several patches on their faces_.

TEAR. d.a.m.n me, we will have more wine, sirrah, or we'll down into the cellar, and drown thee in a b.u.t.t of Malmsey, and hew all the hogsheads in pieces.

Wh.o.r.e. Hang him, rogue! shall he die as honourable as the Duke of Clarence? by this flesh, let's have wine, or I will cut thy head off, and have it roasted and eaten in Pie Corner next Bartholomew-tide.

DRAWER. Gentlemen, I beseech you consider where you are--Turnbull Street--a civil place: do not disturb a number of poor gentlewomen.

Master Wh.o.r.ebang, Master Bots, Master Tearchaps, and Master Spillblood, the watch are abroad.

SPILL. The watch! why, you rogue, are not we kings of Turnbull?

DRAWER. Yes, marry are ye, sir: for my part, if you'll be quiet, I'll have a sign made of ye, and it shall be called the four kings of Turnbull.

BOTS. Will you fetch us wine?

Wh.o.r.e. And a wh.o.r.e, sirrah?

DRAWER. Why, what d'ye think of me? am I an infidel, a Turk, a pagan, a Saracen? I have been at Bess Turnup's, and she swears all the gentlewomen went to see a play at the Fortune,[104] and are not come in yet, and she believes they sup with the players.

TEAR. d.a.m.n me, we must kill all those rogues: we shall never keep a wh.o.r.e honest for them.

BOTS. Go your ways, sirrah. We'll have but a gallon apiece, and an ounce of tobacco.

DRAWER. I beseech you, let it be but pottles.[105]

SPILL. 'Sheart! you rogue. [_Exit_ DRAWER.

_Enter_ WELLTRIED _and_ LORD FEESIMPLE.

Wh.o.r.e. Master Welltried! welcome as my soul.

_Enter_ DRAWER, _with wine, plate and tobacco_.

BOTS. n.o.ble lad, how dost thou?

SPILL. As welcome as the tobacco and the wine, boy.

TEAR. d.a.m.n me, thou art.

FEE. Bless me (save you, gentlemen), they have not one face among 'em! I could wish myself well from them: from them: I would I had put out something upon my return; I had as lief be at Barmuthoes.[106]

WELL. Pray, welcome this gentleman.

SPILL. Is he valiant? [_Aside._

WELL. Faith, he's a little faulty that way; somewhat of a bashful and backward nature, yet I have brought him amongst you, because he hath a great desire to be fleshed.

[_Aside._

FEE. Yes, faith, sir, I have a great desire to be fleshed; now Master Welltried said he would bring me to the only fleshmongers in the town.

WELL. Sir, he cannot endure the sight of steel. [_Aside._

Wh.o.r.e. Not steel? zounds! [_Claps his sword over the table._

FEE. Now I am going! [_Faints._

BOTS. Here's to you, sir. I'll fetch you again with a cup of sack.

FEE. I pledge you, sir, and begin to you in a cup of claret.

WELL. Hark you, my lord: what will you say if I make you beat all these out of the room?

[_Aside._

FEE. What will I say? why, I say it is impossible; 'tis not in mortal man.

[_Aside._]

WELL. Well, drink apace: if any brave you, outbrave him; I'll second you. They are a company of cowards, believe me.

[_Aside._]

FEE. By this light, I would they were else: if I thought so, I would be upon the jack[107] of one of 'em instantly, that same little d.a.m.n me.

But, Master Welltried, if they be not very valiant, or dare not fight, how came they by such cuts and gashes, and such broken faces? [_Aside._]

WELL. Why, their wh.o.r.es strike 'em with cans and gla.s.ses, and quart-pots: if they have nothing by 'em, they strike 'em with the pox, and you know that will lay one's nose as flat as a basket-hilt dagger.

[_Aside._]

FEE. Well, let me alone. [_Aside._]

TEAR. This bully dares not drink.

FEE. Dare I not, sir?

WELL. Well said; speak to him, man.

FEE. You had best try me, sir.

SPILL. We four will drink four healths to four of the seven deadly sins, pride, drunkenness, wrath, and lechery.

FEE. I'll pledge 'em, and I thank you; I know 'em all. Here's one.