The 4-Hour Body Part 19

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Kettlebells are not inexpensive.

If you can't afford them, or to determine your ideal swing weight (what you can currently do for 20 good repet.i.tions) before ordering kettlebells, there is a fantastically inexpensive option: the "T-handle." Rumored to be one of the core tools of dominant Hungarian hammer throwers, this simple device is also known as the Hungarian Core Blaster (HCB).

I have 20 kettlebells of various sizes but still prize my T-handle, as it can be disa.s.sembled for travel and packed flat at a weight of less than five pounds. In addition to swings, it can be used for deadlifts, two-arm bent rows, curls, reverse curls, and more. For $10, five minutes of shopping, and less than five minutes of a.s.sembly, you have an entire gym. Here's what it looks like: [image]

Just head to any hardware store or Home Depot and head to the plumbing aisle: * One diameter 12 long pipe nipple for the vertical shaft. A "pipe nipple" is, somewhat paradoxically, a short pipe threaded on both ends with male pipe thread.7* Two diameter 4 long pipe nipples for the handles. Electrical or duct tape can later be used to cover the outside threads, but I just wear leather gloves when training with the T-handle.* One diameter pipe "T" fitting to connect the above items.* One floor f.l.a.n.g.e to keep the plates from falling off as you swing.

An optional but suggested addition: * One spring clamp (I use an Irwin Quick-Grip 1) to keep plates from drifting up at the top of the swing. Do not swing the weights above sternum height.

Last but not least, replace the T-handle every six months. Tossing a bunch of plates on your cat or through a wall won't win you IQ points when both are preventable for the cost of a T-s.h.i.+rt. Special thanks to Dave Draper for introducing me to this beautifully simple device.

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What do Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, and Elle Macpherson have in common? The number 0.7 and the letters WHR.

If you measured the waist and hip circ.u.mference of these three women, you'd find that their waists are 7/10 the size of their hips. This makes their waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) 0.7, and this ratio in females appears to be hardwired into the male brain as a sign of fertility and therefore attractiveness. The wider your waist is, the higher this ratio goes toward the apple-shaped 1.0, which correlates in scientific studies with decreased estrogen levels, increased disease risk, increased birth complications, and lower fertility rates.

Professor Devendra Singh at the University of TexasAustin has studied the pear-shaped 0.7 body and found it popping up in 2,500-year-old stone Venus sculptures across Europe and Asia, in all Miss America winners from 1923 to 1987 (0.69 to 0.72), in Playboy Playboy centerfolds from 1955 to 1965 and 1976 to 1990 (0.68 to 0.71), and across different cultures-from Indonesians and Indian laborers to African Americans and Caucasians. centerfolds from 1955 to 1965 and 1976 to 1990 (0.68 to 0.71), and across different cultures-from Indonesians and Indian laborers to African Americans and Caucasians.

The good news? If you were born with wide hips, no worries.

Working toward a more slender waist has been shown to have a greater effect on attractiveness than reducing hip size. If your WHR is high, dropping it even a little bit will increase your power (health and hotness) to attract a male partner.

For men, your magic numbers are 0.80.9 for WHR and 0.6 for the waist-to-shoulder ratio (WSR). Broad shoulders can be built.

Perhaps the simplest tool for fine-tuning WHR in both s.e.xes? No surprise: the kettlebell swing.

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End of Chapter Notes 1. Even better, kettlebells are weighed in Russian "poods." Even better, kettlebells are weighed in Russian "poods."

2. This means you are doing 10 reps with a weight that would allow you to complete 13 but not 14 reps. Approximate is fine, but you shouldn't have more than 3 or so reps left in the tank when you finish the set. This means you are doing 10 reps with a weight that would allow you to complete 13 but not 14 reps. Approximate is fine, but you shouldn't have more than 3 or so reps left in the tank when you finish the set.

3. Men can use any hand position. Wide-grip is recommended for women who want to avoid tricep (back of the upper arm) growth. If you can't do ten push-ups on the floor, they can be performed with the hands on a low bench, or-if still impossible-against a table or wall. Men can use any hand position. Wide-grip is recommended for women who want to avoid tricep (back of the upper arm) growth. If you can't do ten push-ups on the floor, they can be performed with the hands on a low bench, or-if still impossible-against a table or wall.

4. Effectively the same as the 2SDL described in "Pre-Hab." Effectively the same as the 2SDL described in "Pre-Hab."

5. Expect severe soreness the day after the first two workouts. Expect severe soreness the day after the first two workouts.

6. One of them is my favorite indirect abdominal/core exercise (one-arm, one-leg row), and two are excellent for travel for both genders (one-leg hamstring curls and reverse hyper on Swiss ball). One of them is my favorite indirect abdominal/core exercise (one-arm, one-leg row), and two are excellent for travel for both genders (one-leg hamstring curls and reverse hyper on Swiss ball).

7. If you are shorter than 55, a 10 or even 8 pipe nipple can be used to avoid dangerous brus.h.i.+ng of the ground. If you are shorter than 55, a 10 or even 8 pipe nipple can be used to avoid dangerous brus.h.i.+ng of the ground.

SIX-MINUTE ABS.

Two Exercises That Actually Work "7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.... If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free!""That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?""No! No, no...not 6! I said 7. n.o.body's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes?! You won't even get your heart goin', not even a mouse on a wheel.... It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby."-There's Something About Mary HOTEL BEDROOM, NAPA, CALIFORNIA, MAY 2009.

"You look like a cat about to vomit."

My girlfriend had come out of the shower to find me perched on the bed on all fours, stomach heaving.

Taking a huge inhale, I looked up and gave an awkward smile: "Thirty more seconds.... "

She tilted her head like a Labrador retriever, observing the oddness for a few seconds, then walked back in the bathroom to dry her hair and brush her teeth. She needed to get ready for my friend's wedding, and my groaning on all fours was far from the strangest thing she'd seen from me.

I continued my routine with a degree of glee.

For the first time in my life, I had reliable six-pack abs.

Cat vomiting rocked.

Single White Male SeekingAbdominals: Exploring the Path Less Traveled I've never had visible abs.

Even when my bodyfat was low enough to show veins everywhere else, my frontal six-pack-the rectus abdominus-showed almost no separation. d.a.m.nation.

Low bodyfat was necessary but not enough.

I performed conventional ab exercises for more than a decade with no discernible benefit, somehow convinced it was just a matter of time. Albert Einstein would call this insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Things changed only when I began testing basic a.s.sumptions in 2009. It took a week to arrive at a reductionist program of two exercises. I performed these exercises just twice a week on Mondays and Fridays after kettlebell swings. In a matter of three weeks, I had my six-pack.

There is just one more prerequisite for visible abs: follow a diet that allows sustained low bodyfat of 12% or less. I suggest the Slow-Carb Diet, as it has the highest compliance rate I've ever observed, but other viable options include a ketogenic diet (especially the Cyclical Ketogenic Diet) and intermittent fasting (IF). The latter will be covered in later chapters.

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Drew Baye after more than six months of no direct abdominal exercises. It goes to show how diet is often a determining factor. (Photo: Mike Moran) Movement #1: The Myotatic Crunch I began my a.n.a.lysis by looking for common attributes in exercises that hadn't worked. The shared feature of all the dominant exercises, in particular the floor crunch, is that they used no more than half of the full range of motion (ROM) of the abdominals. If you were to imagine yourself sitting in a chair, the prescribed exercises all took you toward your knees (crunch, floor sit-up) or brought your knees toward your chest with a straight back (roman chair, reverse crunch). I decided to ignore that fetal range of motion altogether for eight weeks and focus on the stretched position achieved with full back extension.

The result was the myotatic crunch, so named because it leverages the fully stretched position and the resultant reflex (myotatic reflex or stretch reflex) for a stronger contraction than I had been able to achieve otherwise.

It didn't take eight weeks to see a difference. It took three.

Since this exercise is also effective for recruiting the transverse abdominis (explained next), if you have to choose one exercise, choose this one. If a BOSU ball is not available, use a small Swiss ball (4555 centimeters in diameter) or a pile of firm cus.h.i.+ons.

Using a BOSU or Swiss ball, ensure your a.s.s is close to the floor, usually no more than 6 off the ground. Then follow these steps:

1. Start with arms stretched overhead as high as possible (I overlap my extended hands as if in a diving position). Keep your arms behind or next to your ears for the entire exercise.

2. Lower under control for 4 seconds until your fingers touch the floor, the entire time attempting to extend your hands further away from the ball.

3. Pause at the bottom for 2 seconds, aiming for maximum elongation (picture 3).

4. Rise under control and pause in the upper, fully contracted position for 2 seconds. The arms should not not pa.s.s perpendicular with the ground. pa.s.s perpendicular with the ground.

5. Repeat for a total of 10 repet.i.tions. Once you can complete 10 repet.i.tions, add weight to your hands. I tend to use books of different sizes. If female, I don't suggest exceeding 10 pounds in added weight (see "Hourgla.s.s" sidebar on this page this page).

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Movement #2: The Cat Vomit Exercise This exercise is dedicated to my ex-girlfriend. I want only the best for you, Angelina Jolie.

Unless you purchase a corset at the same time, doing crunches will not pull your abdomen in. The muscle fibers of the six-pack (rectus abdominis) run vertically. The muscle you want to target instead is called the transverse abdominis (TVA), the deepest of the six main abdominal muscles, which is composed of fibers that run horizontally like a belt. The TVA is nicknamed the "corset muscle," and if your abs have ever ached from laughing or coughing, you've felt it working.

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Unfortunately, laughing repeatedly in the gym will get you a straitjacket or a plate to the head, so here is the alternative:

1. Get on all fours and keep your gaze focused either directly under your head or slightly in front of you. Don't arch your back or strain your neck.

2. Forcefully exhale from your mouth until all air is fully expelled. Your abs should be contracted from this forceful exhale. Full exhalation is necessary to contract the transverse abdominals, and you'll use gravity to provide resistance.

3. Hold your breath and pull your belly b.u.t.ton upward toward your spine as hard as you can for a target of 812 seconds.

4. Inhale fully through the nose after the 812 second hold.

5. Take one breath cycle of rest (exhale slowly out the mouth, inhale slowly through the nose), then repeat the above for a total of 10 repet.i.tions.

There you have it: the myotatic crunch and the cat vomit exercise. Heave, groan, and be merry.

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Square obliques are unattractive on women, and using common progressive resistance exercises can create them. Fortunately, the myotatic crunch and cat vomit exercises, as described, are not such exercises.

Loss of the feminine hourgla.s.s shape is sad and leaves some women looking bloated under clothing, even when they have low bodyfat. Not good.

If you want additional abdominal exercises as a woman, stick with timed planks instead, which also strengthen the gluteus medius on the hip. Just as The Kiwi in the last chapter prescribed, start with 30 seconds on the front, then 30 seconds on each side, working up to 90 seconds maximum per set. One set per angle per workout is all that's needed.

Last but not least, to avoid the small potbelly look so common among women, even fitness compet.i.tors, fix your pelvic tilt with hip flexor stretches. The following can be performed once a day for 30 seconds on each side. Before kettlebells is perfect, as it will also help with hip extension.

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Even if you ignore the two exercises in this chapter, don't rely on the plain-vanilla crunch. It's utterly ineffective.

Here's how it stacks up against other exercises when rectus abdominis activation is measured with electrodes and an EMG (electromyography machine). Google each exercise if curious. The traditional crunch is given a value of 100%.