Barks and Purrs Part 10

Do look how pretty they are!

SHE IS ILL

_A bed-room in the country-house; autumnal suns.h.i.+ne filters in through closed blinds_. SHE _lies on a couch, apparently asleep, dressed in a white woolen gown_. KIKI-THE-DEMURE _makes his toilet on a narrow console-table_. TOBY-DOG, _on the carpet, in a sphinx-like att.i.tude, watches_ HER _and at the same time, is attentive to the words of his master, who is leaving the room on tip-toe._

HE, (_in a very low voice to the two animals_)

s.h.!.+ Don't wake her. Be good. I'm going downstairs, to write.

(_He closes the door noiselessly after him_.) TOBY-DOG, (_to_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE)

What did He say?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

I don't know. Something vague. Directions, like: stay there, good-by.

TOBY-DOG

He said, "'s.h.!.+" _I'm_ not making any noise.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_ironically_)

They're astonis.h.i.+ng! They say "no noise," and thereupon walk off with a step a deaf rat could hear two miles away.

TOBY-DOG Some truth in that. (_He looks at the sleeping figure on the couch_.) Her face still looks very small. She's asleep. If you jump down from that table don't land with a big thump.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stiffly_)

Ah, you're teaching me to jump now, are you? Oh, worthy counselor!

(_quoting_) Put a beggar in your barn and he'll make himself your heir.

TOBY-DOG

What's that?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Nothing. An Oriental proverb. If I wished, dog, to disturb the silence of this room I'd be clever enough to choose a rickety chair; its feet would pound out a regular tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc, in time with my tongue as I washed myself. It's a means I've invented to gain my liberty. Tic-toc, tic-toc, says the chair. She happens to be reading or writing, is easily irritated, and cries, "Be quiet, Kiki!" But I go on unconscious of any wrong-doing; tic-toc, tic-toc. She jumps up distracted and opens the door wide for me: slowly, like one exiled, I cross its threshold and once outside, laugh to find myself so superior to them all.

TOBY-DOG, (_who hasn't been listening, yawns_)

What a sad week, eh? I don't know what it is to take a walk any more. I haven't taken any pleasure in eating either, since She fell from her horse.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Heavens, one can love people and care for one's stomach too.

TOBY-DOG, (_with ardor_)

Not I! When She screamed and fell from her horse, I felt the heart crack inside me.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

That affair couldn't have ended otherwise. One doesn't go climbing up on a horse! People don't do such things! I see nothing but extravagance around me. To begin with, a horse is a fearful monstrosity.

TOBY-DOG, (_indignantly_)

Did one ever hear the like!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_peremptorily_)

I happen to have had the opportunity of making a very close study of one....

TOBY-DOG, (_aside_)

He makes me laugh!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

... It was the farmer's horse that grazed in the meadow. My life, for a whole month, was embittered by that roving mountain. Lying under the hedge, I could see his heavy feet disfiguring the ground. I breathed his vulgar odor and heard his strident cry shaking the air. Once when he was eating the lower twigs of the hedge, I saw myself--the whole of me--reflected in one of his eyes! I fled ... and from that day my hatred was so strong that I wildly hoped to annihilate the monster. I'll go up to him, thought I, I'll plant myself firmly in front of him, and the desire of his death will be so strong in my eyes, that perhaps, he'll die when he meets my look ...

TOBY-DOG, (_diverted_)

And then?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_continuing_)

I carried out my plan. But the horse I had waited for in fear and trembling, just blew through his nostrils a long jet of foul-smelling vapor, and _I_ fell back in atrocious convulsions.

TOBY-DOG, (_Inwardly writhing with laughter_)

You don't exaggerate?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_serious_)

Never! And She must needs go climbing on a horse's back, holding fast to four cords, one leg this side and the other that. ... Strange aberration!

TOBY-DOG

We don't think alike, Cat. For me, the horse is, after man, the most beautiful thing in the world.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_vexed_) And where do I come in?

TOBY-DOG, (_evasive and courteous_)