Heart and Soul Part 39

"Well, to whom did it not?"

"To my friends, our our friends, anyone who knows her. There was a bit of a misunderstanding about something a couple of weeks back, but I thought it was all done and dusted. Apparently she was brooding about it. How was I to know?" friends, anyone who knows her. There was a bit of a misunderstanding about something a couple of weeks back, but I thought it was all done and dusted. Apparently she was brooding about it. How was I to know?"

"Poor Alan." She was actually sorry for him.

"So I was wondering ..."

"No, Alan."

"We are still man and wife. It's still my home."

"Nonsense, Alan, there was a separation agreement. The divorce will be through shortly. You have no more right to come here than you have to go and stay with the president of Ireland up at Phoenix Park."

There was a silence at his end.

"I wish you luck," she said.

"I have nowhere to go, Clara."

"Good night, Alan."

The girls were looking at her with curiosity. Gerry had tactfully started doing the was.h.i.+ng-up.

The questions hung in the air. Clara knew she must answer them somehow. He was was their father: she mustn't be too flip and dismissive. their father: she mustn't be too flip and dismissive.

"It's complicated," she began. "Your father doesn't change."

"So he was caught at it again," Linda suggested.

"Apparently," Clara said.

"Will you take him back, Mam?" Adi asked.

"No, Adi. No, I won't."

"And his baby?" Linda asked.

"Is being given away to the bimbo's sister."

"And Dad isn't..." Adi could hardly believe any of this.

"No, darling, he isn't. It was different with you two. He really loves you both. Yes, in his funny, mad, complicated way he does does love you." love you."

"And does he love you, love you, Mam?" Adi asked. Mam?" Adi asked.

"He loves the memory of me. He loves what I was twenty-something years ago. It's a kind of love."

Linda spoke. "Clara's right. Alan is who he is. The sooner we all accept that then the sooner we can all move on."

Clara stood up. "Talking of moving on, I suggest we have a liqueur as my treat. I think we've all earned it." And she closed the curtains in case Alan drove by and looked in the window. He was a fool, but she didn't want to make his life a misery seeing what really had turned out to be a happy family dinner taking place in the household he had walked out of, causing so much pain and upset all those years ago.

"More cheerful?" Hilary asked the next day.

"Much, thank you. I'm sorry for being like a bear yesterday."

"No, you were like a cabaret. Was the meal bearable?"

"It was great. Alan rang up in the middle of it to say his bimbo has thrown him out and is giving away their baby. And, as it happens, Linda made a huge effort to be normal and almost succeeded. I enjoyed it."

"Well, now!" Hilary was surprised.

"So much so that I think all that's wrong with her is she hasn't met the right man yet."

" Clara! You and I are the old guard. We've spent years saying that we mustn't be measured by the man that we happen to have caught. What's happening to the sisterhood if you weaken?" Hilary was outraged. and I are the old guard. We've spent years saying that we mustn't be measured by the man that we happen to have caught. What's happening to the sisterhood if you weaken?" Hilary was outraged.

"I'm not weakening for the sisterhood, only for Linda. Let's have dinner in the Italian place tonight and we'll plot the whole thing."

"Tonight?"

"Go on, it's not as if either of us has anything else to do," Clara said.

"You really have a way of making a girl feel special," said Hilary. Then they got down to work.

Alan rang during the day and Ania took the call.

"Hold on, Mr. Casey, and I'll see if she's free. She was was in a consultation ." Clara shook her head. in a consultation ." Clara shook her head. "No, "No, I'm sorry, it's going to go on for some time. Shall I tell her that you called?" I'm sorry, it's going to go on for some time. Shall I tell her that you called?"

"Don't bother. She doesn't care. If she had cared about anything she would have called me. me. Good-bye," he said. Good-bye," he said.

Ania repeated it slowly to Clara.

"Sorry, Ania, to involve you in such childish behavior from people who should be well past that."

"Oh, Clara, if you knew how important I feel here. To be able to be a part of everyone's lives. It gives me great...wait...wait... I know the words ...self-esteem."

"Your English has come on so well. They wouldn't know you back home!"

"Yes. I met somebody from home. He could not believe it. He knew nothing. It was very satisfying."

"Was he a boyfriend?" Clara asked.

"One time, yes, I think, or maybe he never was a boyfriend. Maybe it was all in my own mind. But now it's over. You know when something is really over, don't you?" She looked inquiringly at Clara.

"Yes, indeed you do. The trick is not to feel sorry for the person."

"No. In my case this would never happen," Ania said very seriously.

Clara hoped she was equally certain. She had been feeling something dangerously like sympathy for Alan since last night. She wondered where he had slept. And what he had done that Cinta had discovered.

"So, let's approach this like a problem in the clinic. Something that has to be solved before Frank gets wind of it." Clara opened the discussion at the Italian restaurant.

"Nick is a bit of a dreamer, very easygoing-too easygoing. You'd need to light a fire under him." Hilary put her cards on the table. "He has no get-up-and-go. He plays in this club. He wouldn't go to university, said it was too expensive for me, and so he taught kids the piano and the guitar and then has played forever in this dead-end club." easygoing. You'd need to light a fire under him." Hilary put her cards on the table. "He has no get-up-and-go. He plays in this club. He wouldn't go to university, said it was too expensive for me, and so he taught kids the piano and the guitar and then has played forever in this dead-end club."

"Is it dead-end or is it just somewhere you and I wouldn't go to in a million years?" Clara asked.

"I think it's dead-end. They're always worried that they won't be able to keep up the lease. There are no crowds. No breakthroughs, or whatever people have in the movies, yet he turns up there night after night. He's very vague when I ask him how many people were there. He says there were plenty and they liked the music. He gets what they call a percentage of the door, which means, I think, a fifth of what they take in when people pay five euros to come in. But it's never very much. He makes up the rest by teaching."

"And now to be truthful about Linda. Even though she was terrific last night, she is a very self-centered little madam. She thinks a pair of shoes that costs a week's wage would be good value. Good value! Where is she coming from? She thinks the world owes her something. Maybe we shouldn't unload her on your boy!"

"He's been well able to let other girls disappear from his life. We needn't worry about him being overwhelmed."

"But how could they meet?" Clara puzzled.

"If we introduce them, it's over before it begins," Hilary agreed.

"So how how can they get together?" Clara wondered. "Suppose Linda were to get free tickets for Nick's club?" can they get together?" Clara wondered. "Suppose Linda were to get free tickets for Nick's club?"

"No, she wouldn't go. She'd smell a rat. Or if she did go, she wouldn't necessarily meet him," Hilary objected.

Clara was not going to give up. "What can we do, then?"

"Could we get Nick a voucher for the record store where Linda works?" Hilary asked.

"Wouldn't work. He could go to the wrong a.s.sistant or it might be a day she wasn't on. You'd actually need a degree in some kind of higher mathematics to work out her s.h.i.+fts," Clara said, still mystified by her daughter.

"There has to be a casual way. Could we ask them to come to the clinic, do you think?" Hilary said.

"And then they'd see the two of us old crones cackling with laughter and they would both leave in disgust," Clara said.

"But suppose they didn't didn't see us? Suppose they came and we weren't there and they had to talk to each other," Hilary persisted. see us? Suppose they came and we weren't there and they had to talk to each other," Hilary persisted.

"Ah, come on, Hilary. How could we get them to the clinic and not be there? Think of a way and if you can, then I'll buy it."

"What if we were to invite them to the reception ..." Hilary began.

"No. They'd regard it as a ch.o.r.e." Clara was definite.

"But suppose they were the only kindred spirits there. They might fall on each other."

"We can't introduce them," Clara said.

"I know, of course, it can't be you and me. But suppose Ania did it?"

"She wouldn't carry it off," Clara said.

"If there was only something that could get us out of the scene there," Hilary said.

"I know. We'll get drunk," Clara said, her eyes s.h.i.+ning.

"Now?" Hilary was alarmed.

"No, you clown. At the reception."

"Excuse me, did you say that you and I should get drunk at this reception, which has been breaking our hearts for weeks? Drunk? Drunk? Is that what you said?" Is that what you said?"

"Not really drunk. Not drunk drunk drunk. Just pretending." drunk. Just pretending."

Hilary emptied her gla.s.s of wine. "That's a good idea, you think, to pretend to be drunk at this, our big showpiece night? Drunk in front of people like Frank Ennis, like the whole hospital board. In front of whoever the minister of health sends. In front of the cardiologists. In front of the media. Clara, are you insane?"

"No one will see," Clara said cheerfully. "Everyone else will think we are sober. Only Nick and Linda will think we're drunk."

Hilary attracted the waiter's attention.

"Can we have another bottle of Pinot Grigio? Things have taken a turn for the worse here."

Linda was pleased with the way the dinner party had gone. Clara had been very pleasant. She had produced a bottle of Cointreau and four little gla.s.ses. She had coped well with Alan on the phone. She had told them funny stories.

If only she could be like that all the time, it might be bearable to live at home. Odd that she had been so interested in the record store and how they had asked Linda to be in charge of the jazz section. She had been really surprised by that and wanted to know more. And the dreaded Gerry had been helpful and did the was.h.i.+ng-up, which was useful when Mam, well, Clara as she now was, wanted to tell them their dad loved them. Maybe he did in his own mad dadlike way.

"Nick, you know this big reception we're going to be having at the clinic?" Hilary asked.

"Of course I do, Mam. Have you talked of anything else?"

"It's important. Sorry to go on about it."

"No, that's fine. I just wonder why this Clara person doesn't take more interest in it. It's meant to be her show, isn't it?"

"Oh, she does work at it, in her own way," Hilary said.

"Do you like like her? As a person?" her? As a person?"

"I don't know her very well. She's very efficient, certainly," Hilary said, stifling her sense of disloyalty.

"Yeah, like Attila the Hun." Nick grinned.

"I suppose."

"So what were you going to tell me about the reception?" Nick asked.

"Oh, it was nothing really."

"Mam! What was it?"

"I just wanted to tell you the date and I wanted a small favor."

"Say it." He was such a good-tempered boy. She hated all this subterfuge.

"Well, on the night I'll have to socialize with people and have a gla.s.s of wine with this one and that one. I shouldn't take the car and, Nick, I was wondering if you could come and pick me up at about nine o'clock?"