More Toasts Part 151

PENMANs.h.i.+P

Mr. Brown had just registered and was about to turn away when the clerk asked:

"Beg pardon, but what is your name?"

"Name!" echoed the indignant guest. "Don't you see my signature there on the register?"

"I do," returned the clerk calmly. "That is what aroused my curiosity."

PEP

Vigor, vitality, vim and punch-- That's Pep!

The courage to act on a sudden hunch-- That's Pep!

The nerve to tackle the hardest thing With feet that climb and hands that cling, And a heart that never forgets to sing-- That's Pep.

Sand and grit in a concrete base-- That's Pep!

Friendly smile on an honest face-- That's Pep!

The spirit that helps when another's down, That knows how to scatter the blackest frown, That loves its neighbor, and loves its town-- That's Pep.

To say "I will," for you know you can-- That's Pep!

To look for the best in every man-- That's Pep!

To meet each thundering knock-out blow, And come back strong, because you know You'll get the best of the whole d.a.m.ned show-- That's Pep.

--_Henry W. Stern_.

PERCENTAGE

"Speaking of percentages." said the old-time politician, "reminds me of Tom Bledsoe, who had the butcher shop in our town. He used to buy rabbits from the boys. One day he hung up a sign announcing rabbit sausage for sale. People wondered what it was, took a hack at it, and liked it. Pretty soon he was selling rabbit sausage by the wagon-load.

"But the pure-food inspectors came prying around, and asked Tom how he could make so much sausage when he got only a few dozen rabbits a day.

Finally he admitted that there was some horse-meat in the sausage.

Then they wanted to know how much horse-meat. After a long grilling he said it was fifty per cent. When pressed further by his questioners, he explained that fifty per cent meant one rabbit to one horse."

PERSISTENCE

Persistence can accomplish two things--it can make one either a success or a bore.

_Fis.h.i.+n'_

"Supposin" fish don't bite at first, What are you goin' to do?

Throw down your pole, chuck out your bait And say your fis.h.i.+n's through?

"You bet you ain't; you're goin' to fish An' fish, an' fish, an' wait Until you've ketched a bucketful Or used up all your bait.

"Suppose success don't come at first, What are you goin' to do?

Throw up the sponge and kick yourself And growl, and fret, and stew?

"You bet you ain't; you're goin' to fish An' bait, an' bait ag'in, Until success will bite your hook.

For grit is sure to win."

PERSUASION

"Mother," said a twelve-year-old of Baltimore, "did you tell father I wanted a new bicycle?"

"Yes, dear," said the mother, "I told him; but he said he couldn't afford to buy you one."

"Of course he'd say that; but what did you do?"

"I told him how badly you wanted it, and argued in favor of it, but he refused."

"Argued! Oh, mother, if it had been something you wanted yourself you'd have cried a little and then you'd have got it."

Persuasion tips his tongue whene'er he talks.--_Colley Gibber_.

Few are open to conviction, but the majority of men are open to persuasion.--_Goethe_.

PESSIMISM

TED--"What's the difference between a pessimist and a cynic?"

NED--"The pessimist is without hope, while the cynic is sure you'll always be able to get a drink if you have the price."--_Life_.

_The Pessimist_