More Toasts Part 215

"Recite an instance, please," put in the dainty little teacher of domestic science.

"If a woman loses a st.i.tch, she'll unravel a ball of yarn trying to find it."

"That's nothing, compared with what a man will do," she came back quickly. "If a man loses a quarter in a card game, he'll spend $10 trying to win it back."

_Woman_--A Mistress of Arts, who robs a bachelor of his degree, and forces him to study philosophy by means of curtain lectures.

_See also_ Age; Clothing; Epitaphs; Fas.h.i.+on; Talkers; Wives; Woman suffrage; Worry.

WOMAN SUFFRAGE

"It seems so silly to me," she said scornfully, as she threw down the newspaper after a casual glance at the headlines.

"What seems silly?"

"All this talk about candidates for the presidency. There can't but one be elected, can there?"

"Of course not."

"Well, why should a dozen or so be trying for it? Why doesn't just the man who is going to be elected be a candidate, and all the rest go on about their business, as all this talk and running around isn't going to do them any good after all?"

"That young politician is paying you marked attention, girlie."

"Um, yes. Another problem added to our girlish troubles."

"Eh, what?"

"Is he after me or my vote?"

WARD HEELER--"Are women trying to reform politics?"

DISTRICT LEADER--"Reform nothing! They've started in to grab the jobs."

FIRST LADY--"Did you vote with all those vile people?"

SECOND LADY--"I certainly did. I was curious to know how it felt."

"Wimmin voters this year."

"Yes, and these short skirts make a lot of wimmen look like little girls."

"That's right. You gotta be careful who you try to pat on the head."

"Well, Maria," said Jiggles after the Town Election, "for whom did you vote this morning?"

"I crossed off the names of all the candidates," returned Mrs.

Jiggles, "and wrote out my principles on the back of my ballot.

This is no time to consider individuals and their little personal ambitions."

There are compensations in all things. When women get the suffrage they won't want to be moving all the time, for fear of losing their votes.--_Puck_.

"What are your reasons for wanting a divorce, madam?" inquired the judge.

"Failure to support."

"But you live in apparent luxury."

"He failed to support me for a nomination that I wanted."

"Another of our masculine pleasures is about to become a thing of the past, thanks to woman suffrage."

"What do you have reference to?"

"Taking the straw vote. Who would venture to predict a woman's ballot twenty-four hours before election?"

WOMAN'S RIGHTS

_Why We Oppose Pockets For Women_

1. Because pockets are not a natural right.

2. Because the great majority of women do not want pockets. If they did, they would have them.

3. Because whenever women have had pockets they have not used them.

4. Because women are expected to carry enough things as it is without the additional burden of pockets.

5. Because it would make dissension between husband and wife as to whose pockets were to be filled.

6. Because it would destroy man's chivalry toward woman if he did not have to carry all her things in his pockets.