Plays Part 37

FEJEVARY: I think she has given it something it wouldn't have had without her. Certainly a place in the town that is-good for it. And you haven't met our president yet.

SENATOR: Guess, I've met the real president.

FEJEVARY: Oh-no. I'm merely president of the board of trustees.

SENATOR: 'Merely!'

FEJEVARY: I want you to know President Welling. He's very much the cultivated gentleman.

SENATOR: Cultivated gentlemen are all right. I'd hate to see a world they ran.

FEJEVARY: (with a laugh) I'll just take a look up here, then we can go down the shorter way.

(He goes out right. SENATOR LEWIS turns and examines the books. FUSSIE slips in, looks at him, hesitates, and then stoops under the table for the Matthew Arnold (and her poem) which HORACE has kicked there. He turns.)

FUSSIE: (not out from under the table) Oh, I was just looking for a book.

SENATOR: Quite a place to look for a book.

FUSSIE: (crawling out) Yes, it got there. I thought I'd put it back. Somebody-might want it.

SENATOR: I see, young lady, that you have a regard for books.

FUSSIE: Oh, yes, I do have a regard for them.

SENATOR: (holding out his hand) And what is your book?

FUSSIE: Oh-it's-it's nothing.

(As he continues to hold out his hand, she reluctantly gives the book.)

SENATOR: (solemnly) Matthew Arnold? Nothing?

FUSSIE: Oh, I didn't mean him.

SENATOR: A master of Englis.h.!.+ I am glad, young woman, that you value this book.

FUSSIE: Oh yes, I'm-awfully fond of it.

(Growing more and more nervous as in turning the pages he nears the poem.)

SENATOR: I am interested in you young people of Morton College.

FUSSIE: That's so good of you.

SENATOR: What is your favourite study?

FUSSIE: Well-(an inspiration) I like all of them.

SENATOR: Morton College is coming on very fast, I understand.

FUSSIE: Oh yes, it's getting more and more of the right people. It used to be a little jay, you know. Of course, the Fejevarys give it cla.s.s. Mrs Fejevary-isn't she wonderful?

SENATOR: I haven't seen her yet. Waiting here now to meet her.

FUSSIE: (worried by this) Oh, I must-must be going. Shall I put the book back? (holding out her hand)

SENATOR: No, I'll just look it over a bit. (sits down)

FUSSIE: (unable to think of any way of getting it) This is where it belongs.

SENATOR: Thank you.

(Reluctantly she goes out. SENATOR LEWIS pursues Matthew Arnold with the conscious air of a half literate man reading a 'great book'. The FEJEVARYS come in)

FEJEVARY: I found my wife, Senator Lewis.

AUNT ISABEL: (she is a woman of social distinction and charm) How do you do, Senator Lewis? (They shake hands.)

SENATOR: It's a great pleasure to meet you, Mrs Fejevary.

AUNT ISABEL: Why don't we carry Senator Lewis home for lunch?

SENATOR: Why, you're very kind.

AUNT ISABEL: I'm sure there's a great deal to talk about, so why not talk comfortably, and really get acquainted? And we want to tell you the whole story of Morton College-the good old American spirit behind it.

SENATOR: I am glad to find you an American, Mrs Fejevary.

AUNT ISABEL: Oh, we are that. Morton College is one hundred per cent American. Our boys-

(Her boy HORACE rushes in.)

HORACE: (wildly) Father! Will you go after Madeline? The police have got her!

FEJEVARY: What!

AUNT ISABEL: (as he is getting his breath) What absurd thing are you saying, Horace?

HORACE: Awful row down on the campus. The Hindus. I told them to keep their mouths shut about Abraham Lincoln. I told them the fact they were quoting him-

FEJEVARY: Never mind what you told them! What happened?

HORACE: We started-to rustle them along a bit. Why, they had handbills (holding one up as if presenting incriminating evidence-the SENATOR takes it from him) telling America what to do about deportation! Not on this campus-I say. So we were-we were putting a stop to it. They resisted-particularly the fat one. The cop at the corner saw the row-came up. He took hold of Bakhs.h.i.+sh, and when the dirty anarchist didn't move along fast enough, he took hold of him-well, a bit rough, you might say, when up rushes Madeline and calls to the cop, 'Let that boy alone!' Gee-I don't know just what did happen-awful mix-up. Next thing I knew Madeline hauled off and pasted the policeman a fierce one with her tennis racket!

SENATOR: She struck the officer?

HORACE: I should say she did. Twice. The second time-