The Dreamers Part 12

MANILA, _May 1, 1898_.--I have glorious news. I have this day destroyed the Spanish fleet and captured the Philippine Islands. According to my instructions from the City Editor of the _Whirnal_, I boarded the _Olympia_, the flag-s.h.i.+p of the fleet under Commodore Dewey at Hong-kong, on Wednesday last. Upon reading my credentials the Commodore immediately surrendered the command of the fleet to me, and retired to his state-room, where he has since remained. I deemed it well to keep him there until after the battle was over, fearing lest he should annoy me with suggestions, and not knowing but that he might at any time spread dissension among the officers and men, who, after the habit of seamen, frequently manifest undue affection and sympathy for a deposed commander. I likewise, according to your wishes, concealed from the officers and crew the fact that the Commodore had been deposed, furthering the concealment by myself making up as Dewey. Indeed, it was not until after the battle this morning that any but Dewey and the s.h.i.+p's barber were aware of the subst.i.tution, since my disguise was perfect. The s.h.i.+p's barber I had to take into my confidence, for unfortunately on leaving Hong-kong I had forgotten to provide myself with a false mustache, so that in concealing the deposition of the Commodore by myself a.s.suming his personality I was compelled to have the gentleman's mustache removed from his upper lip and transferred to my own. This the barber did with neatness and despatch, I having first chloroformed the Commodore, from whom some resistance might have been expected, owing to his peculiar temperament. Fortunately the fellow was an expert wig-maker, and within an hour of the shaving of Dewey I was provided with a mustache which could not fail to be recognized as the Commodore's, since it was indeed that very same object. When five hundred miles at sea I dropped the barber overboard, fearing lest he should disturb my plans by talking too much. I hated to do it, but in the interest of the _Whirnal_ I hold life itself as of little consequence, particularly if it is the life of some one else--and who knows but the poor fellow was an expert swimmer, and has by this time reached Borneo or some other bit of dry land? He was alive when I last saw him, and yelling right l.u.s.tily. If it so happen that he has swum ash.o.r.e somewhere, kindly let me know at your convenience; for beneath a correspondent's exterior I have a warm heart, and it sometimes troubles me to think that the poor fellow may have foundered, since the sea was stressful and the nearest dry point was four hundred and sixty knots away to S.E. by N.G., while the wind was blowing N.W. by N.Y.C. & H.R.R.

But to my despatch.

Dewey done for, despoiled of his mustache and rifled of his place, with a heavy sea running and a dense fog listing to starboard, I summoned my officers to the flag-s.h.i.+p, and, on the evening of April 30th, the fog-horns of Cavite having indicated the approach of the Philippine coast, gave them, one and all, their final instructions. These were, in brief, never to do anything without consulting with me.

"To facilitate matters, gentlemen," said I, ordering an extra supply of grog for the captains, and milk punches for the lieutenants, "we must connect the various vessels of the fleet with telephone wires. Who will undertake this perilous duty?"

They rose up as one man, and, with the precision of a grand-opera chorus, replied: "Commodore"--for they had not penetrated my disguise--"call upon us. If you will provide the wires and the 'phones, we will do the rest." And they followed these patriotic words with cheers for me.

Their heroism so affected me that I had difficulty in frowning upon the head-butler's suggestion that my gla.s.s should be filled again.

"Gentlemen," said I, huskily--for I was visibly affected--"I have provided for all. I could not do otherwise and remain myself. You will find ten thousand miles of wire and sixty-six telephones in the larder."

That night every s.h.i.+p in the fleet was provided with telephone service.

I appointed the _Olympia_ to be the central office, so that I might myself control all the messages, or at least hear them as they pa.s.sed to and fro. In the absence of ladies from the fleet, I appointed a somewhat effeminate subaltern to the post of "h.e.l.lo Officer," with complete control over the switch-board. And, as it transpired, this was a very wise precaution, because the central office was placed in the hold, and the poor little chap's courage was so inclined to ooze that in the midst of the fight he was content to sit below the water-line at his post, and not run about the promenade-deck giving orders while under fire. I have cabled the President about him, and have advised his promotion. His heroic devotion to the switch-board ought to make him a naval attache to some foreign court, at least. I trust his bravery will ultimately result in his being sent to the Paris Exposition as charge d'affaires in the Erie Ca.n.a.l department of the New York State exhibit.

But to return to my despatch--which from this point must disregard s.p.a.ce and move quickly. Pa.s.sing Cape Bolinao, we soon reached Subig Bay, fifty miles from Manila. Recognizing the cape by the crop of hemp on its brow, I rang up the _Boston_ and the _Concord_.

"Search Subig Bay," I ordered.

"Who's this?" came the answer from the other end.

"Never mind who I am," said I. "Search Subig Bay for Spaniards."

"h.e.l.lo!" said the _Boston_.

"Who the deuce are you?" cried the _Concord_.

"I'm seventeen-five-six," I replied, with some sarcasm, for that was not my number.

"I want sixteen-two-one," retorted the _Boston_.

"Ring off," said the _Concord_. "What do you mean by giving me seventeen-five-six?"

"h.e.l.lo, _Boston_ and _Concord_," I put in in commanding tones. "I'm Dewey."

This is the only false statement I ever made, but it was in the interests of my country, and my reply was electrical in its effect. The _Boston_ immediately blew off steam, and the _Concord_ sounded all hands to quarters.

"What do you want, Commodore?" they asked simultaneously.

"Search Subig Bay for Spaniards, as I have already ordered you," I replied, "and woe be unto you if you don't find any."

"What do you want 'em for, Commodore?" asked the _Boston_.

"To engage, you idiot," I replied, scornfully. "What did you suppose--to teach me Spanish?"

Both vessels immediately piped all hands on deck and set off. Two hours later they returned, and the telephone subaltern reported, "No Spaniards found."

"Why not?" I demanded.

"All gone to Cuba," replied the _Boston_. "Shall we pipe all hands to Cuba?"

"Wires too short to penetrate without a bust," replied the _Concord_.

"On to Manila!" was my answer. "Ding the torpedoes--go ahead! Give us Spaniards or give us death!"

These words inspired every s.h.i.+p in the line, and we immediately strained forward, except the _McCulloch_, which I despatched at once to Hong-kong to cable my last words to you in time for the Adirondack edition of your Sunday issue leaving New York Thursday afternoon.

The rest of us immediately proceeded. In a short while, taking advantage of the darkness for which I had provided by turning the clock back so that the sun by rising at the usual hour should not disclose our presence, we turned Corregidor and headed up the Boca Grande towards Manila. As we were turning Corregidor the telephone-bell rang, and somebody who refused to give his name, but stating that he was aboard the _Petrel_, called me up.

"h.e.l.lo!" said I.

"Is this Dewey?" said the _Petrel_.

"Yes," said I.

"There are torpedoes ahead," said the _Petrel_.

"What of it?" said I.

"How shall we treat 'em?"

"Blow 'em off--to soda water," I answered, sarcastically.

"Thank you, sir," the _Petrel_ replied, as she rang off.

Then somebody from the _Baltimore_ rang me up.

"Commodore Dewey," said the _Baltimore_, "there are mines in the harbor."

"Well, what of it?" I replied.

"What shall we do?" asked the _Baltimore_.

"Treat them coldly, as they do in the Klondike," said I.

"But they aren't gold-mines," replied the _Baltimore_.

"Then salt 'em," said I, dryly. "Apply for a certificate of incorporation, water your stock, sell out, and retire."

"Thank you, Commodore," the _Baltimore_ answered. "How many shares shall we put you down for?"

"None," said I. "But if you'll use your surplus to start a life-insurance company, I'll take out a policy for forty-eight hours, and send you my demand note to pay for the first premium."

I mention this merely to indicate to your readers that I felt myself in a position of extreme peril, and did not forget my obligations to my family. It is a small matter, but if you will search the pages of history you will see that in the midst of the greatest dangers the greatest heroes have thought of apparently insignificant details.

At this precise moment we came in sight of the fortresses of Manila.

Signalling the _Raleigh_ to heave to, I left the flag-s.h.i.+p and jumped aboard the cruiser, where I discharged with my own hand the after-forecastle four-inch gun. The shot struck Corregidor, and, glancing off, as I had designed, caromed on the smoke-stack of the _Reina Cristina_, the flag-s.h.i.+p of Admiral Montojo. The Admiral, unaccustomed to such treatment, immediately got out of bed, and, putting on his pajamas, appeared on the bridge.

[Ill.u.s.tration: A CLEVER CAROM]