The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 68
You’re reading novel The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 68 online at LightNovelFree.com. Please use the follow button to get notification about the latest chapter next time when you visit LightNovelFree.com. Use F11 button to read novel in full-screen(PC only). Drop by anytime you want to read free – fast – latest novel. It’s great if you could leave a comment, share your opinion about the new chapters, new novel with others on the internet. We’ll do our best to bring you the finest, latest novel everyday. Enjoy!
A WEALTHY Jew, having made several ineffectual applications for leave to quit Berlin, at length sent a letter to the king imploring permission to travel for the benefit of his health, to which he received the following answer:
"Nothing but death shall part us.
WHEN Woodward first played Sir John Brute, Garrick was present. A few days after, when they met, Woodward asked Garrick how he liked him in the part, adding, "I think I struck out some beauties in it." "_I think,_" said Garrick, "_that you struck out all the beauties in it._"
FREDRICK I. of Prussia, when a new soldier appeared on the parade, was wont to ask him, "How old are you?--how long have you been in my service?--have you received your pay and clothing?" A young Frenchman who had volunteered into the service, being informed by his officer of the questions which the monarch would ask, took care to have the answers ready. The king, seeing him in the ranks, unfortunately reversed the questions:
Q. How long have you been in my service?
A. Twenty-one years, and please your majesty.
Q. How old are you?
A. One year.
The king, surprised, said, "Either you or I must be a fool." The soldier, taking this for the third question, relative to his pay and clothing, replied, "_Both_, and please your majesty."
AN Irish officer had the misfortune to be dreadfully wounded in one of the late battles in Holland. As he lay on the ground, an unlucky soldier, who was near him, and was also severely wounded, made a terrible howling, when the officer exclaimed, "What do you make such a noise for? _Do you think there is n.o.body killed but yourself?_"
"MISTER, I say, I don't suppose you don't know of n.o.body who don't want to hire n.o.body to do nothing, don't you?" "Yes, I don't."
A PERSON arrived from a voyage to the East Indies inquired of a friend after their mutual acquaintance, and, among the rest, one who had the misfortune to be hanged during his absence:
"How is Tom Moody?"
"He is dead."
"He was in the grocery line when I left this."
"He was in quite a different _line_ when he died."
A JAMAICA PLANTER, with a nose as fiery and rubicund as that of the _illuminating_ Bardolph, was taking his _siesta_ after dinner, when a mosquito lighting on his _proboscis_, instantly flew back. "Aha! ma.s.sa mosquito," cried Quacco, who was in attendance, "_you burn your foot!_"
IN a very thin house in the country, an actress spoke very low in her communication with her lover. The actor, whose benefit it happened to be, exclaimed with a face of woeful humor, "My dear, you may speak out, there is n.o.body to hear us."
LOUIS XIV. traveling, met a priest riding post. Ordering him to stop, he asked hastily, "Whence? whither? for what?" He answered, "Bruges--Paris--a benefice." "You shall have it."
ALLIES WILL FALL OUT.
A GENTLEMAN having to fight a main in the country, gave charge to his servant to carry down two c.o.c.ks. Pat put them together in a bag; on opening which, at his arrival, he was surprised to find one of them dead, and the other terribly wounded. Being rebuked by his master for putting them in the same bag, he said he thought there was no danger of them hurting each other, as they were going to fight _on the same side_.
The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 68
You're reading novel The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 68 online at LightNovelFree.com. You can use the follow function to bookmark your favorite novel ( Only for registered users ). If you find any errors ( broken links, can't load photos, etc.. ), Please let us know so we can fix it as soon as possible. And when you start a conversation or debate about a certain topic with other people, please do not offend them just because you don't like their opinions.
The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 68 summary
You're reading The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 68. This novel has been translated by Updating. Author: Various already has 392 views.
It's great if you read and follow any novel on our website. We promise you that we'll bring you the latest, hottest novel everyday and FREE.
LightNovelFree.com is a most smartest website for reading novel online, it can automatic resize images to fit your pc screen, even on your mobile. Experience now by using your smartphone and access to LightNovelFree.com
- Related chapter:
- The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 67
- The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 69