If Only etc. Part 46

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

A really excellent advertis.e.m.e.nt. And what a fool you'd look! Come, come, you don't suppose your other Tempenny would have done you a work of this size for three hundred, do you? Nor as good either? No, no! As to the affair of yesterday, my wife was very much to blame--I am very angry with her. You see she has such curious ideas, and when she found you hidden in a cupboard with a paint-pot upset over you she thought it strange. It _wasn't_ strange, of course--(_airily_) most natural thing in the world, but she couldn't see it.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

I felt very hurt to be so misunderstood. The only person who abbeared to have any zympathy for me was your model--the Miss Rosaline.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Nice girl! charming girl, isn't she? Full of feeling, and--I say, Schercl, you've made a conquest there, and no error.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Nonsense--go away mid your rubbidge!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Well, you have, you know! She made an awful scene after you left--said you were the only man she ever saw look dignified with a pot of paint upset over him. It is a pity in one way she _is_ so taken with you--I feel for her.

HENRICH SCHERCL (_flattered_).

Vat rot you talk. Why should you feel for her?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Because you meant nothing by your attentions, Schercl, and the poor girl doesn't know that. She is thinking about you--not to put too fine a point upon it, she has fallen in love with you; and what do _you_ care?--you laugh!

HENRICH SCHERCL.

No, I do not laff--I have a 'eart, have I not? I have the emotions and sensibilities.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

You have, you have. But you do not realise how serious an impression you have made.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Well, now about Susannah. You can do it as well as your namesake. Yes?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Ah! (_Enthusiastically_.) Wait till you see it!

HENRICH SCHERCL.

It still progresses?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Superbly.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

"Zuperbly!" But I do not see it, and to me you never abbear to paint.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

My dear friend, how can you doubt the success of the picture after you have seen the model who is sitting for it? Fair--beautiful form--exquisite arms--er--

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Yes, yes, yes. So Miss Rosaline sits for your Susannah, eh?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Won't it be worth the three hundred--won't it be a dream.

HENRICH SCHERCL (_eagerly_).

I will come in one morning when you are at work! Yes, I am satisfied with the gontract--I say no more. I will come in when she is sitting.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNV.

No, you don't, my boy--oh no, you don't! The picture is what you get for your money--the real, living, breathing woman ain't included. Not much! Oh, no, Schercl, you old rogue--only the picture, sonny, no more.

Ha, ha, ha!

HENRICH SCHERCL (_confused_).

You misunderstood me quite--I had no idea but of my business. I do not think of other things. Er--when will the picture be done, Tempenny, I would like it soon?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Ha, ha, ha! Control yourself, Romeo, it's coming on.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

But according to our contract, it should be done in a week's time. If you disappoint me, my friend, we shall fall out again.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_aside_).

It strikes me you'll be precious lucky if you get it at all. The infernal "contract" is the bane of my life. (_Aloud_.) All right, Schercl, I will push on with it--I want the other two hundred, you know. I shan't delay for my own sake. (_Enter_ CHARLES SYLVESTER _L_.) Hallo, Charlie, how d'ye do. How are things at home?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

I see another of yesterday's gulprits. However I have forgiven you.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.