The Handbook of Conundrums Part 4

Who was first interested in horse racing? Adam--he was the father of the race.

How many apples were eaten in the Garden of Eden? Eve ate, and Adam, too, and the devil won,--eleven in all.

What one word will name the common parent of both beasts and man?

A-dam.

What was the first surgical operation performed without the aid of instruments? The extraction of a rib of Adam to be made into a wife.

Why ought Adam to have been perfectly satisfied with his wife?

Because she was cut out especially for him.

How did Adam and Eve feel when they left the Garden of Eden? Put out.

Why were the gates of Eden shut after Adam and Eve went out? To keep the dam(p) air out.

What fur did Adam and Eve wear? Bear (bare) skin.

Why had Eve no fear of the measles? Because she'd Adam (had 'em).

For what was Eve made? For Adam's Express Company.

What did Adam first plant in the Garden of Eden? His foot.

Who first introduced walking-sticks? Eve gave Adam a little Cain.

What kind of cottages did Adam's sons prefer? Cottages with eaves (Eves).

Was our mother Eve High or Low Church? Adam thought her Eve-angelical.

What did Adam and Eve do when they got out of Eden? Raised Cain.

Why was Paradise like a cuc.u.mber? Because it had a pair-in (paring).

When was the first gambling? When Adam and Eve cast up a Paradise (pair o' dice) for an apple.

When did fruit first begin to swear? When the apple d.a.m.ned the first pair.

Who was the fastest runner in the world? Adam--he was first in the human race.

How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was able (Abel).

Why was Cain's murder like the main strength of his leg? Because it was a sin-new.

How can a whipping be ordered for a boy in five Old Testament names?

Adam, Seth, Eve, Cain, Abel.

Why is a printing press like the forbidden fruit? Because from it springs a knowledge of good and evil.

What was four weeks old when Cain was born, and is not yet five? The moon.

Who first introduced salt pork into the Navy? Noah, when he took Ham into the ark.

Why was Noah obliged to stoop on entering the ark? Because, although the ark was high, Noah was a higher ark (Hierarch).

In what place did the c.o.c.k crow so loud that all the world heard him?

In the ark.

Which animal took most luggage into the ark, and which the least? The elephant, who had his trunk; while the fox and the c.o.c.k had only a brush and a comb between them.

Who was the greatest financier of early times? Noah,--he floated his stock when all the world was in liquidation.

Where did Noah strike the first nail in the ark? On the head.

What was Noah busy about in the ark? Preserving pairs.

Where did Noah keep his bees? In the Archives.

How do we know that Noah had beer in the ark? Because the kangaroo went in with hops, and the bear was always _Bruin_.

What did the cat say when she looked out of the window of the ark? Is that Ararat?

In what order did Noah come from the ark? He came forth.

When did Abraham sleep five in a bed? When he slept with his forefathers.

Why did Joseph's brethren put him in the pit? They thought that it was a good opening for the young man.

Where is the theater mentioned in the Bible? Where Joseph left the family circle and went into the pit.

Who had the first free entrance into a theater? Joseph, when he got into the pit for nothing.

What person in the Bible died a death that no one else ever died--and a part of whose shroud is on every dining table? Lot's wife.

What did Lot do when his wife turned to salt? Got a fresh one.

What scene in the life of Moses, the lawgiver, reminds us of a gladiatorial show at Rome? The bulrushes.

Why was Moses the wickedest man that ever lived? Because he broke all the Ten Commandments at once.

Where are bank checks mentioned in the Bible? Pharaoh got a check on the bank of the Red Sea--crossed by Moses and Co.

Why was Pharaoh's daughter like a broker? Because she drew a little prophet from the rushes on the bank.

What was Pharaoh's chief objection to Moses? He found him more plague than prophet.

How do we know that there was a panic in the early days of Moses?

Because there were rushes on the banks of the Nile, and Pharaoh's daughter withdrew a valuable deposit.