Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 64

HENRIETTE. [_Re-entering as_ ALBERT _a.s.sumes a rather severe att.i.tude_.]

How are you? [_Pause._] Have you seen Jacques?

ALBERT. [_With a determined air._] No, Henriette. Thank G.o.d!

HENRIETTE. Why?

ALBERT. Because it pains me to see men in your presence whom you care nothing for.

HENRIETTE. [_Delighted._] You don't like that?

[_Sitting down on sofa._

ALBERT. No, I don't. And I'd like to tell you----

HENRIETTE. About my relations with Jacques?

ALBERT. Oh, he's not the only one.

HENRIETTE. Heaps of others, I suppose?

ALBERT. [_Sits on chair near sofa._] You suppose correctly; heaps.

HENRIETTE. Really?

ALBERT. You are a coquette.

HENRIETTE. You think so?

ALBERT. I am positive.

HENRIETTE. I suppose I displease you in other ways, too?

ALBERT. In a great many other ways.

HENRIETTE. [_Really delighted._] How confidently you say that!

ALBERT. So much the worse if you don't like it!

HENRIETTE. Quite the contrary, my dear Albert; you can't imagine how you please me when you talk like that. It's perfectly adorable.

ALBERT. It makes very little difference to me whether I please you or not. I speak according to my temperament. Perhaps it is a bit authoritative, but I can't help _that_.

HENRIETTE. You are superb.

ALBERT. Oh, no. I'm just myself.

HENRIETTE. Oh, if you were only the----

ALBERT. I haven't the slightest idea what you were about to say, but I'll guarantee that there's not a more inflexible temper than mine in Paris.

HENRIETTE. I can easily believe it. [_Pause._] Now tell me in what way you think I'm coquettish.

[_Sitting on edge of sofa in an interested att.i.tude._ ALBERT _takes out cigarette, lights and smokes it_.

ALBERT. That's easy; for instance, when you go to the theatre, to a reception, to the races. As soon as you arrive the men flock about in dozens; those who don't know you come to be introduced. You're the talking-stock of society. Now I should be greatly obliged if you would tell me to what you attribute this notoriety?

HENRIETTE. [_Modestly._] Well, I should attribute it to the fact that I am--agreeable, and pleasant----

ALBERT. There are many women no less so.

HENRIETTE. [_Summoning up all her modesty to reply._] You force me to recognize the fact----

ALBERT. And I know many women fully as pleasant as you who don't flaunt their favors in the face of everybody; _they_ preserve some semblance of dignity, a certain air of aloof distinction that it would do you no harm to acquire.

HENRIETTE. [_With a grat.i.tude that is conscious of its bounds._] Thanks, thanks so much. [_Drawing back to a corner of the sofa._] I am deeply obliged to you----

ALBERT. Not at all.

HENRIETTE. In the future I shall try to behave more decorously.

ALBERT. Another thing----

HENRIETTE. [_The first signs of impatience begin to appear._] What?

Another thing to criticise?

ALBERT. A thousand! [_Settling himself comfortably._

HENRIETTE. Well, hurry up.

ALBERT. You must rid yourself of your excessive and ridiculous school-girl sentimentality.

HENRIETTE. I wonder just on what you base your statement. Would you oblige me so far as to explain that?

ALBERT. With pleasure. I remember one day in the country you were in tears because a _poor_ little mouse had fallen into the claws of a _wretched_ cat; two minutes later you were sobbing because the _poor_ cat choked in swallowing the _wretched_ little mouse.

HENRIETTE. That was only my kindness to dumb animals. Is it wrong to be kind to dumb animals?

[_She is about to rise when_ ALBERT _stops her with a gesture_.

ALBERT. That would be of no consequence, if it weren't that you were of so contradictory a nature that you engage in the emptiest, most frivolous conversations, the most----

HENRIETTE. [_Slightly disdainful._] Ah, you are going too far! You make me doubt your power of a.n.a.lysis. I am interested only in n.o.ble and high things----

ALBERT. And yet as soon as the conversation takes a serious turn, it's appalling to see you; you yawn and look bored to extinction.

HENRIETTE. There you are right--partly.

ALBERT. You see!