Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 82

[_Turns to right. The women take their satchels and follow him._

"OLD MAN." [_To the_ TRAGEDIAN.] Get up and take the trunk. We will settle the score with him some other time. It is he who has the dollar now.

TRAGEDIAN. [_Rising and shaking his fist._] I'll get him yet.

[_He takes his side of the trunk._

VILLAIN. [_To_ TRAGEDIAN.] First put one of my bundles on your back.

TRAGEDIAN. [_In rage._] One of your bundles on my back?

VILLAIN. Oh, for all I care you can put it on your head, or between your teeth.

"OLD MAN." We will put the bundle on the trunk.

COMEDIAN. [_Sitting up._] Look here, are you joking or are you in earnest?

VILLAIN. [_Contemptuously._] I never joke.

COMEDIAN. Then you are in earnest?

VILLAIN. I'll make no explanations.

COMEDIAN. Do you really think that because you have the dollar----

VILLAIN. The holy dollar, the almighty dollar, the king of kings.

COMEDIAN. [_Continuing._] That therefore you are the master----

VILLAIN. Bread-giver and provider.

COMEDIAN. And that we must----

VILLAIN. Do what I bid you to.

COMEDIAN. So you are in earnest?

VILLAIN. You must get up, take the baggage and follow me.

COMEDIAN. [_Rising._] Then I declare a revolution.

VILLAIN. What? A revolution!

COMEDIAN. A b.l.o.o.d.y one, if need be.

TRAGEDIAN. [_Dropping his end of the trunk and advancing with a bellicose att.i.tude toward the_ VILLAIN.] And I shall be the first to let your blood, you scoundrel.

VILLAIN. If that's the case I have nothing to say to you. Those who wish, come along.

COMEDIAN. [_Getting in his way._] No, you shall not go until you give up the dollar.

VILLAIN. Ha-ha. It is to laugh!

COMEDIAN. The dollar, please, or----

VILLAIN. He-he-he!

COMEDIAN. Then let there be blood. [_Turns up his sleeves._

TRAGEDIAN. [_Taking off his coat._] Ah! Blood, blood!

"OLD MAN." [_Dropping his end of the trunk._] I'm not going to keep out of a fight.

WOMEN. [_Dropping his satchels._] Nor we. Nor we.

VILLAIN. [_Shouting._] To whom shall I give up the dollar?

You--you--you--you?

COMEDIAN. This argument will not work any more. You are to give the dollar up to all of us. At the first opportunity we'll get change and divide it into equal parts.

WOMEN. Hurrah, hurrah! Divide it, divide it!

COMEDIAN. [_To_ VILLAIN.] And I will even be so good as to give you a share.

TRAGEDIAN. I'd rather give him a sound thras.h.i.+ng.

COMEDIAN. It shall be as I say. Give up the dollar.

HEROINE. [_Throwing herself on the_ COMEDIAN'S _breast_.] My comedian!

My comedian!

INGENUE. [_To the_ VILLAIN.] I'm sick of you. Give up the dollar.

COMEDIAN. [_Pus.h.i.+ng the_ HEROINE _aside_.] You better step aside or else you may get the punch I aim at the master and bread-giver. [_To the_ VILLAIN.] Come up with the dollar!

TRAGEDIAN. Give up the dollar to him, do you hear?

ALL. The dollar, the dollar!

VILLAIN. I'll tear it to pieces.

COMEDIAN. Then we shall tear out what little hair you have left on your head. The dollar, quick!

[_They surround the_ VILLAIN; _the women pull his hair; the_ TRAGEDIAN _grabs him by the collar and shakes him; the_ "OLD MAN"

_strikes him on his bald pate; the_ COMEDIAN _struggles with him and finally grasps the dollar_.

COMEDIAN. [_Holding up the dollar._] I have it!

[_The women dance and sing._