The Cook's Oracle; and Housekeeper's Manual Part 3

It is astonis.h.i.+ng how cheap _cookery books_ are held by practical cooks: when I applied to an experienced artist to recommend me some books that would give me a notion of the rudiments of cookery, he replied, with a smile, "You may read _Don Quixote_, or _Peregrine Pickle_, they are both very good books."

Careless expressions in cookery are the more surprising, as the confectioner is regularly attentive, in the description of his preparations, to give the exact quant.i.ties, though his business, compared to cookery, is as unimportant as the ornamental is inferior to the useful.

The maker of blanc-mange, custards, &c. and the endless and useless collection of puerile playthings for the palate (of first and second childhood, for the vigour of manhood seeketh not to be sucking sugar, or sipping turtle), is scrupulously exact, even to a grain, in his ingredients; while cooks are unintelligibly indefinite, although they are intrusted with the administration of our FOOD, upon the proper quality and preparation of which, all our powers of body and mind depend; their energy being invariably in the ratio of the performance of the restorative process, i. e. the quant.i.ty, quality, and perfect digestion of what we eat and drink.

Unless _the stomach_ be in good humour, every part of the machinery of _life_ must vibrate with languor: can we then be too attentive to its adjustment?!!

CULINARY CURIOSITIES.

The following specimen of the unaccountably whimsical harlequinade of foreign kitchens is from "La Chapelle" Nouveau Cuisinier, Paris, 1748.

"A turkey," in the shape of "_football_," or "_a hedge-hog_." A "shoulder of mutton," in the shape of a "_bee-hive_."--"Entree of pigeons," in the form of a "_spider_," or _sun_-fas.h.i.+on, or "in the form of a _frog_," or, in "the form of the _moon_."--Or, "to make a pig taste like a wild boar;" take _a living pig_, and _let him_ swallow the following drink, viz. boil together in vinegar and water, some rosemary, thyme, sweet basil, bay leaves, and sage; when you have _let him_ swallow this, _immediately whip him to death_, and roast him forthwith. How "to still a c.o.c.ke for a weak bodie that is consumed,--take a red c.o.c.ke that is not too olde, and beat him to death."--See THE BOOKE OF COOKRYE, very necessary for all such as delight therein. Gathered by A. W., 1591, p. 12. How to ROAST _a pound of_ b.u.t.tER, curiously and well; and to _farce_ (the culinary technical for _to stuff_) a boiled leg of lamb with red herrings and garlic; with many other receipts of as high a relish, and of as easy digestion as the _devil's venison_, i. e. a roasted tiger stuffed with tenpenny nails, or the "_Bonne Bouche_," the rareskin Rowskimowmowsky offered to Baron Munchausen, "a frica.s.see of pistols, with gunpowder and alcohol sauce."--See the _Adventures of Baron Munchausen_, 12mo. 1792, p. 200; and _the horrible but authentic account of_ ARDESOIF, in MOUBRAY'S _Treatise on Poultry_, 8vo. 1816, p. 18.

But the most extraordinary of all the culinary receipts that have been under my eye, is the following diabolically cruel directions of Mizald, "_how to roast and eat a goose alive_." "Take a GOOSE or a DUCK, or some such _lively creature_, (but a goose is best of all for this purpose,) pull off all her feathers, only the head and neck must be spared: then make a fire round about her, not too close to her, that the smoke do not choke her, and that the fire may not burn her too soon; nor too far off, that she may not escape free: within the circle of the fire let there be set small cups and pots full of water, wherein salt and honey are mingled: and let there be set also chargers full of sodden apples, cut into small pieces in the dish. The goose must be all larded, and basted over with b.u.t.ter, to make her the more fit to be eaten, and may roast the better: put then fire about her, but do not make too much haste, when as you see her begin to roast; for by walking about, and flying here and there, being cooped in by the fire that stops her way out, the unwearied goose is kept in; she will fall to drink the water to quench her thirst and cool her heart, and all her body, and the apple-sauce will make her dung, and cleanse and empty her. And when she roasteth, and consumes inwardly, always wet her head and heart with a wet sponge; and when you see her giddy with running, and begin to stumble, her heart wants moisture, and she is roasted enough. Take her up, set her before your guests, and she will cry as you cut off any part from her, and will be almost eaten up before she be dead; it is mighty pleasant to behold!!"--See WECKER'S _Secrets of Nature_, in folio, London, 1660, p. 148.

309.[33-*]

"We suppose Mr. Mizald stole this receipt from the kitchen of his infernal majesty; probably it might have been one of the dishes the devil ordered when he invited Nero and Caligula to a feast."--_A.

C., Jun._

This is also related in BAPTISTA PORTA'S _Natural Magicke_, fol.

1658, p. 321. This very curious (but not scarce) book contains, among other strange tricks and fancies of "the Olden Time,"

directions, "_how to_ ROAST _and_ BOIL _a fowl at the same time, so that one-half shall be_ ROASTED _and the other_ BOILED;" and "_if you have a lacke of cooks, how to persuade a goose to roast himselfe_!!"--See a second act of the above tragedy in page 80 of the Gentleman's Magazine for January, 1809.

Many articles were in vogue in the 14th century, which are now obsolete. We add the following specimens of the CULINARY AFFAIRS OF DAYS OF YORE.

_Sauce for a goose, A.D. 1381._

"Take a faire panne, and set hit under the goose whill she rostes; and kepe clene the grese that droppes thereof, and put thereto a G.o.dele (good deal) of Wyn, and a litel vinegur, and verjus, and onyons mynced, or garlek; then take the gottes (gut) of the goose and slitte hom, and sc.r.a.pe hom clene in water and salt, and so wash hom, and hack hom small, then do all this togedur in a piffenet (pipkin), and do thereto raisinges of corance, and pouder of pepur and of ginger, and of canell and hole clowes and maces, and let hit boyle and serve hit forthe."

"That unwieldy marine animal the PORPUS was dressed in a variety of modes, salted, roasted, stewed, &c. Our ancestors were not singular in their partiality to it; I find, from an ingenious friend of mine, that it is even now, A. D. 1790, sold in the markets of most towns in Portugal; the flesh of it is intolerably hard and rancid."--WARNER'S _Antiq. Cul._ 4to. p. 15.

"The SWAN[33-+] was also a dish of state, and in high fas.h.i.+on when the elegance of the feast was estimated by the magnitude of the articles of which it was composed; the number consumed at the Earl of Northumberland's table, A. D. 1512, amounted to twenty."--_Northumberland Household-book_, p. 108.

"The CRANE was a darling dainty in _William the Conqueror's_ time, and so partial was that monarch to it, that when his prime favourite, William Fitz-Osborne, the steward of the household, served him with a crane scarcely half roasted, the king was so highly exasperated, that he lifted up his fist, and would have strucken him, had not _Eudo_ (appointed _Dapifer_ immediately after) warded off the blow."--WARNER'S _Antiq. Cul._ p. 12.

SEALS, CURLEWS, HERONS, BITTERNS, and the PEAc.o.c.k, that n.o.ble bird, "the food of lovers and the meat of lords," were also at this time in high fas.h.i.+on, when the baronial entertainments were characterized by a grandeur and pompous ceremonial, approaching nearly to the magnificence of royalty; there was scarcely any royal or n.o.ble feast without PEc.o.kKES, which were stuffed with spices and sweet herbs, roasted and served up whole, and covered after dressing with the skin and feathers; the beak and comb gilt, and the tail spread, and some, instead of the feathers, covered it with leaf gold; it was a common dish on grand occasions, and continued to adorn the English table till the beginning of the seventeenth century.

In Ma.s.singer's play of "The City Madam," Holdfast, exclaiming against city luxury, says, "three fat wethers bruised, to make sauce for a single peac.o.c.k."

This bird is one of those luxuries which were often sought, because they were seldom found: its scarcity and external appearance are its only recommendation; the meat of it is tough and tasteless.

Another favourite dish at the tables of our forefathers, was a PIE of stupendous magnitude, out of which, on its being opened, a flock of living birds flew forth, to the no small surprise and amus.e.m.e.nt of the guests.

"Four-and-twenty blackbirds baked in a pie; When the pie was open'd, the birds began to sing-- Oh! what a dainty dish--'t is fit for any king."

This was a common joke at an old English feast. These _animated_ pies were often introduced "to set on," as Hamlet says, "a quant.i.ty of barren spectators to laugh;" there is an instance of a dwarf undergoing such an _incrustation_. About the year 1630, king Charles and his queen were entertained by the duke and dutchess of Buckingham, at Burleigh on the Hill, on which occasion JEFFERY HUDSON, _the dwarf_, was served up in a cold pie.--See WALPOLE'S _Anecdotes of Painting_, vol. ii. p. 14.

The BARON OF BEEF was another favourite and substantial support of old English hospitality.

Among the most polished nations of the 15th and 16th centuries, the _powdered_ (salted) _horse_, seems to have been a dish in some esteem: _Grimalkin_ herself could not escape the undistinguis.h.i.+ng fury of the cook. Don Anthony of Guevera, the chronicler to Charles V., gives the following account of a feast at which he was present.

"I will tell you no lye, I sawe such kindes of meates eaten, as are wont to be sene, but not eaten--_as a_ HORSE _roasted_--a CAT _in gely_--LYZARDS in hot brothe, FROGGES fried," &c.

While we are thus considering the curious dishes of olden times, we will cursorily mention the _singular diet_ of two or three nations of antiquity, noticed by _Herodotus_, lib. iv. "The _Androphagi_ (the cannibals of the ancient world) greedily devoured the carca.s.ses of their fellow-creatures; while the inoffensive _Cabri_ (a Scythian tribe) found both food and drink in the agreeable nut of the Pontic tree. The _Lotophagi_ lived entirely on the fruit of the _Lotus tree_. The savage _Troglodyte_ esteemed a _living serpent_ the most delicate of all morsels; while the capricious palate of the _Zyguntini_ preferred the _ape_ to every thing."--Vide WARNER'S _Antiq. Cul._ p. 135.

"The Romans, in the luxurious period of their empire, took five meals a day; a breakfast (_jentaculum_;) a dinner, which was a light meal without any formal preparation (_prandium_); a kind of _tea_, as we should call it, between dinner and supper (_merenda_); a supper (_caena_), which was their great meal, and commonly consisted of two courses; the first of meats, the second, what we call a dessert; and a posset, or something delicious after supper (_commissatio_)."--ADAM'S _Rom. Antiq._ 2d edition, 8vo. 1792, p.

434 and 447.

"The Romans usually began their entertainments with eggs, and ended with fruits; hence, AB OVO USQUE AD MALA, from the beginning to the end of supper, _Horat. Sat._ i. 3. 6; _Cic. Fam._ ix. 20.

"The dishes (_edulia_) held in the highest estimation by the Romans, are enumerated, _Gell._ vii. 16, _Macrob. Sat._ ii. 9, _Martial._ v.

79, ix. 48, xi. 53, &c., a peac.o.c.k (PAVO), _Horat. Sat._ ii. 2. 23, _Juvenal._ i. 143, first used by Hortensius, the orator, at a supper, which he gave when admitted into the college of priests, (_aditiali caend sacerdotii_,) Plin. x. 20, s. 23; a pheasant, (PHASIANA, _ex_ Phasi. _Colchidis fluvio_,) Martial. iii. 58, xiii.

72, Senec. ad Helv. 9, Petron. 79, Manil. v. 372; a bird called _Attagen_ vel-_ena_, from Ionia or Phrygia, _Horat. Epod._ ii. 54, _Martial._ xiii. iii. 61, a guinea-hen, (_avis Afra_, Horat. ib.

_Gallina Numidica_ vel _Africana_, Juvenal, xi. 142, Martial, xiii.

73); a Melian crane; an Ambracian kid; nightingales, _lusciniae_; thrushes, _t.u.r.di_; ducks, geese, &c. TOMACULUM, (? te??,) _vel_ ISICIUM, (ab _inseco_;) sausages or puddings, _Juvenal._ x. 355.

_Martial._ 42. 9, _Petron._ 31."--Vide _ibid._ p. 447.

That the English reader may be enabled to form some idea of the heterogeneous messes with which the Roman palate was delighted, I introduce the following receipt from _Apicius_.

"THICK SAUCE FOR A BOILED CHICKEN.--Put the following ingredients into a mortar: aniseed, dried mint, and lazar-root (similar to a.s.saftida), cover them with vinegar; add dates; pour in liquamen, oil, and a small quant.i.ty of mustard seeds; reduce all to a proper thickness with port wine warmed; and then pour this same over your chicken, which should previously be boiled in anise-seed water."

_Liquamen_ and _Garum_ were synonymous terms for the same thing; the former adopted in the room of the latter, about the age of _Aurelian_. It was a liquid, and thus prepared: the _guts_ of large fish, and a variety of small fish, were put into a vessel and well salted, and exposed to the sun till they became putrid. A liquor was produced in a short time, which being strained off, was the _liquamen_.--Vide LISTER _in Apicium_, p. 16, notes.

_Essence of anchovy_, as it is usually made for sale, when it has been opened about ten days, is not much unlike the Roman _liquamen_. See No. 433. Some suppose it was the same thing as the Russian _Caviar_, which is prepared from the roe of the sturgeon.

The BLACK BROTH of _Lacedaemon_ will long continue to excite the wonder of the philosopher, and the disgust of the epicure. What the ingredients of this sable composition were, we cannot exactly ascertain. _Jul. Pollux_ says, the Lacedaemonian black broth was _blood_, thickened in a certain way: Dr. LISTER (_in Apicium_) supposes it to have been _hog's blood_; if so, this celebrated Spartan dish bore no very distant resemblance to the _black-puddings_ of our days. It could not be a very _alluring_ mess, since a citizen of _Sybaris_ having tasted it, declared it was no longer a matter of astonishment with him, why the _Spartans_ were so fearless of death, since any one in his senses would much rather die, than exist on such execrable food.--Vide _Athenaeum_, lib. iv. c. 3. When Dionysius the tyrant had tasted the _black broth_, he exclaimed against it as miserable stuff; the cook replied--"It was no wonder, for the sauce was wanting." "What sauce?" says Dionysius. The answer was,--"_Labour and exercise, hunger and thirst, these are the sauces we Lacedaemonians use_," and they make the coa.r.s.est fare agreeable.--CICERO, 3 Tuscul.

FOOTNOTES:

[15-*] "The STOMACH is the grand organ of the human system, upon the state of which all the powers and feelings of the individual depend."--_See_ HUNTER'S _Culina_, p. 13.

"The faculty the stomach has of communicating the impressions made by the various substances that are put into it, is such, that it seems more like a nervous expansion of the brain, than a mere receptacle for food."--Dr. WATERHOUSE'S _Lecture on Health_, p. 4.

[17-*] I wish most heartily that the restorative process was performed by us poor mortals in as easy and simple a manner as it is in "_the cooking animals in the moon_," who "lose no time at their meals; but open their left side, and place the whole quant.i.ty at once in their stomachs, then shut it, till the same day in the next month, for they never indulge themselves with food more than twelve times in a year."--_See_ BARON MUNCHAUSEN'S _Travels_, p. 188.

Pleasing the palate is the main end in most books of cookery, but _it is my aim to blend the toothsome with the wholesome_; but, after all, however the hale gourmand may at first differ from me in opinion, the latter is the chief concern; since if he be even so entirely devoted to the pleasure of eating as to think of no other, still the care of his health becomes part of that; if he is sick he cannot relish his food.

"The term _gourmand_, or EPICURE, has been strangely perverted; it has been conceived synonymous with a glutton, '_ne pour la digestion_,' who will eat as long as he can sit, and drink longer than he can stand, nor leave his cup while he can lift it; or like the great eater of Kent whom FULLER places among his worthies, and tells us that he did eat with ease _thirty dozens of pigeons_ at one meal; at another, _fourscore rabbits_ and _eighteen yards of black pudding_, London measure!--or a fastidious appet.i.te, only to be excited by fantastic dainties, as the brains of _peac.o.c.ks_ or _parrots_, the tongues of _thrushes_ or _nightingales_, or the teats of a lactiferous _sow_.

"In the acceptation which I give to the term EPICURE, it means only the person who has good sense and good taste enough to wish to have his food cooked according to scientific principles; that is to say, so prepared that the palate be not offended--that it be rendered easy of solution in the stomach, and ultimately contribute to health; exciting him as an animal to the vigorous enjoyment of those recreations and duties, physical and intellectual, which const.i.tute the happiness and dignity of his nature." For this ill.u.s.tration I am indebted to my scientific friend _Apicius Caelius, Jun._, with whose erudite observations several pages of this work are enriched, to which I have affixed the signature _A. C., Jun._

[18-*] "Although AIR is more immediately necessary to life than FOOD, the knowledge of the latter seems of more importance; it admits certainly of great variety, and a choice is more frequently in our power. A very spare and simple diet has commonly been recommended as most conducive to health; but it would be more beneficial to mankind if we could show them that a pleasant and varied diet was equally consistent with health, as the very strict regimen of Arnard, or the miller of Ess.e.x. These, and other abstemious people, who, having experienced the greatest extremities of bad health, were driven to temperance as their last resource, may run out in praises of a simple diet; but the probability is, that nothing but the dread of former sufferings could have given them the resolution to persevere in so strict a course of abstinence, which persons who are in health and have no such apprehension could not be induced to undertake, or, if they did, would not long continue.

"In all cases, great allowance must be made for the weakness of human nature: the desires and appet.i.tes of mankind must, to a certain degree, be gratified, and the man who wishes to be most useful will imitate the indulgent parent, who, while he endeavours to promote the true interests of his children, allows them the full enjoyment of all those innocent pleasures which they take delight in. If it could be pointed out to mankind that some articles used as food were hurtful, while others were in their nature innocent, and that the latter were numerous, various, and pleasant, they might, perhaps, be induced to forego those which were hurtful, and confine themselves to those which were innocent."--_See_ Dr. STARK'S _Experiments on Diet_, pp. 89 and 90.

[19-*] See a curious account in COURS GASTRONOMIQUE, p. 145, and in Anacharsis' Travels, Robinson, 1796, vol. ii. p. 58, and _Obs._ and note under No. 493.