Agahta Christie - An autobiography Part 20

'Dear, dear, how could I have put it there, I wonder?' Rosalind found things for Cuckoo, tidied away things for Cuckoo, and even gave her instructions from the pram when they were out together: 'Don't cross now, Nannie, it's just the wrong momentthere's a bus coming...You're taking the wrong turning, Nannie...I thought you said you were going to the wool-shop, Nannie. That's not the way to the wool-shop.' These instructions were punctuated by Cuckoo's 'Dear, dear, now why ever...What could I have been thinking of to do that?' etc. The only people who found Cuckoo hard to endure were Archie and myself. She kept up a continual stream of conversation. The best way was to close your ears and not listen to it, but occasionally, maddened, you interrupted. Going in a taxi to Paddington, Cuckoo would keep up a continual stream of observations. 'Look, little dear. You look out of the window now. You see that big place? That's Selfridges. That's a lovely place, Selfridges. You can buy anything there.'

'It's Harrods, Nurse,' I would say coldly.

'Dear, dear, now, so it is! It was Harrods all the time, wasn't it? Now isn't that funny, because we know Harrods quite well, don't we, little dear?'

'I knew it was Harrods,' said Rosalind. I think it possible now that the inept.i.tude and general inefficiency of Cuckoo were responsible for making Rosalind an efficient child. She had to be. Somebody had got to keep the nursery in a vague semblance of order.

III

Arriving home may have started with joyous reunions, but reality soon raised its ugly head. We were without any money at all. Archie's job with Mr Goldstein was a thing of the past and another young man was now installed in his place. I still had, of course, my grandfather's nest-egg, so we could count on 100 a year, but Archie hated the idea of touching any of the capital. He must must get a job of some kind, and at once, before demands for rent, Cuckoo's salary, and the weekly food bills began to come in. Finding a job was not easyin fact it was even more difficult than it had been immediately after the war. My memories of that particular crisis are by now fortunately dim. I do know that it was an unhappy time because Archie was unhappy, and Archie was one of those people whom unhappiness does not suit. He knew this himself. I remember he had once warned me in the early days of our marriage: 'I'm no good, remember, if things go wrong. I'm not much good in illness, I don't like ill people, and I can't bear people to be unhappy or upset.' get a job of some kind, and at once, before demands for rent, Cuckoo's salary, and the weekly food bills began to come in. Finding a job was not easyin fact it was even more difficult than it had been immediately after the war. My memories of that particular crisis are by now fortunately dim. I do know that it was an unhappy time because Archie was unhappy, and Archie was one of those people whom unhappiness does not suit. He knew this himself. I remember he had once warned me in the early days of our marriage: 'I'm no good, remember, if things go wrong. I'm not much good in illness, I don't like ill people, and I can't bear people to be unhappy or upset.'

We had taken our risk with our eyes open, content to take our chance. All that we could do now was to accept that the enjoyment was over and that the payment, in worry, frustration, etc., had now begun. I felt too, very inadequate, because I seemed to be of such little help to Archie. We would face all this together, I had told myself. I had to accept almost from the first that he would be every day in a state of irritation, or else completely silent and sunk in melancholy. If I attempted to be cheerful I was told I had no sense of the gravity of the position; if I was gloomy I was told, 'No use pulling a long face. You knew what you were letting yourself in for!' In fact, nothing I could do seemed to be right.

Finally Archie said firmly, 'Look here, what I really want you to do, the only thing that would help at all, is to go right away.'

'Go right away? Where?'

'I don't know. Go to Punkieshe'd be pleased to have you and Rosalind. Or go home to your mother.'

'But, Archie, I want to be with you; I want to share thiscan't we? Can't we share it together? Isn't there something I I could do?' could do?'

Nowadays I suppose I could have said, 'I'll get a job,' but it was not a thing one even thought of saying in 1923. In the war there had been WAAFs, WRAFS, and WAACs, or jobs in munitions factories, or in the hospitals. But they were temporary; There were no jobs for women now in offices or ministries. Shops were fully staffed. Still I dug my toes in, and refused to go away. I could at least cook and clean. We had now no maid. I kept quiet and well out of Archie's way, which seemed the only att.i.tude that was of any help to him.

He roamed round the City offices and saw various people who might know of a job that was going. In the end he got one. It was not one that he likedindeed he was slightly apprehensive about the firm that engaged him: they were, he said, well known to be crooks. They kept for the most part on the right side of the law, but one never knew. 'The point is,' said Archie, 'that I'll have to be very careful that they don't ever leave me holding the can.' Anyway, it was employment and brought some money in, and Archie's mood improved. He was even able to find some of his daily experiences funny.

I tried to settle down to do some writing, since I felt that that was the only thing I could do that might bring in a little money. I still had no idea of writing as a profession. The stories published in The Sketch The Sketch had encouraged me: that had been real money coming directly to me. Those stories, however, had been bought, paid for, and the money spent by now. I settled down and started to write another book. had encouraged me: that had been real money coming directly to me. Those stories, however, had been bought, paid for, and the money spent by now. I settled down and started to write another book.

Belcher had urged me, when we dined with him at his house, the Mill House at Dorney, before our trip, to write a detective story about it. 'The Mystery of the Mill House,' 'The Mystery of the Mill House,' he said. 'Jolly good t.i.tledon't you think?' he said. 'Jolly good t.i.tledon't you think?'

I said yes, I thought Mystery in the Mill House Mystery in the Mill House or or Murder in the Mill House Murder in the Mill House would be very good, and I would consider the matter. When we had started on our tour he often referred to the subject. would be very good, and I would consider the matter. When we had started on our tour he often referred to the subject.

'But mind you,' he said, 'if you write The Mystery of the Mill House The Mystery of the Mill House I I've got to be in it.'

'I don't think I could could put you in it,' I said. 'I can't do anything with real people. I have to imagine them.' put you in it,' I said. 'I can't do anything with real people. I have to imagine them.'

'Nonsense,' said Belcher. 'I don't mind if it isn't particularly like me, but I've always wanted to be in a detective story.' At intervals he would ask: 'Have you begun that book of yours yet? Am I in it?' At one moment, when we were feeling exasperated, I said: 'Yes. You're You're the victim.' the victim.'

'What? Do you mean I'm the chap that gets murdered?'

'Yes,' I said, with some pleasure.

'I don't want to be the victim,' said Belcher. 'In fact I won't be the victimI insist on being the murderer.'

'Why do you want to be the murderer?'

'Because the murderer is always the most interesting character in the book. So you've got to make me the murderer, Agathado you understand?'

'I understand that you want want to be the murderer,' I said, choosing my words carefully. In the end, in a moment of weakness, I promised that he to be the murderer,' I said, choosing my words carefully. In the end, in a moment of weakness, I promised that he should should be the murderer. I had sketched out the plot of this book when I was in South Africa. It was to be again, I decided, more in the nature of a thriller than a detective story, comprising a good deal of the South African scene. There was some kind of revolutionary crisis on while we were there, and I noted down a few useful facts. I pictured my heroine as a gay, adventurous, young woman, an orphan, who started out to seek adventure. Tentatively writing a chapter or two, I found it terribly difficult to make the picture based on Belcher come alive. I could be the murderer. I had sketched out the plot of this book when I was in South Africa. It was to be again, I decided, more in the nature of a thriller than a detective story, comprising a good deal of the South African scene. There was some kind of revolutionary crisis on while we were there, and I noted down a few useful facts. I pictured my heroine as a gay, adventurous, young woman, an orphan, who started out to seek adventure. Tentatively writing a chapter or two, I found it terribly difficult to make the picture based on Belcher come alive. I could not not write about him objectively and make him anything but a complete dummy. Then suddenly an idea came to me. The book should be written in the first person, alternately by the heroine, Ann, and the villain, Belcher. write about him objectively and make him anything but a complete dummy. Then suddenly an idea came to me. The book should be written in the first person, alternately by the heroine, Ann, and the villain, Belcher.

'I don't believe he will will like being the villain,' I said to Archie dubiously. like being the villain,' I said to Archie dubiously.

'Give him a t.i.tle,' suggested Archie. 'I think he'd like that.' So he was christened Sir Eustace Pedler, and I found that if I made Sir Eustace Pedler write his own script the character began to come alive. He wasn't Belcher, of course, but he used several of Belcher's phrases, and told some of Belcher's stories. He too was a master of the art of bluff, and behind the bluff could easily be sensed an unscrupulous and interesting character. Soon I had forgotten Belcher and had Sir Eustace Pedler himself wielding the pen. It is, I think, the only time I have tried to put a real person whom I knew well into a book, and I don't think it succeeded. Belcher didn't come to life, but someone called Sir Eustace Pedler did. I suddenly found that the book was becoming rather fun to write. I only hoped The Bodley Head would approve of it. My chief handicap in the writing of this book was Cuckoo. Cuckoo, of course, in the habit of nurses in those days, did no kind of housework, cooking, or cleaning. She was a child's nurse; she cleaned her own nursery and did the little dear's was.h.i.+ng, but that was all. I did not expect anything else, and I arranged my day quite well. Archie only came home in the evening, and Rosalind and Cuckoo's lunch was simple and easy to deal with. That left me time in the mornings and afternoons to put in two or three hours work. Cuckoo and Rosalind were then en route en route to the park or to some shopping programme outdoors. However, there were, of course, wet days when they had to remain in the flat, and although the point was made that 'Mummy is working' Cuckoo was not so easily diverted. She would stand outside the door of the room where I was writing, and keep up a kind of soliloquy, ostensibly addressed to Rosalind. to the park or to some shopping programme outdoors. However, there were, of course, wet days when they had to remain in the flat, and although the point was made that 'Mummy is working' Cuckoo was not so easily diverted. She would stand outside the door of the room where I was writing, and keep up a kind of soliloquy, ostensibly addressed to Rosalind.

'Now, little dear, we mustn't make a noise, must we, because Mummy is working. We mustn't disturb Mummy when she's working, must we? Though I should should like to ask her if I should send that dress of yours to the laundry. I do think, you know, that it's not one I can manage very well myself. Well, we must remember to ask her at teatime, mustn't we, little dear? I mean we mustn't go in like to ask her if I should send that dress of yours to the laundry. I do think, you know, that it's not one I can manage very well myself. Well, we must remember to ask her at teatime, mustn't we, little dear? I mean we mustn't go in now now and ask her, must we? Oh no, she wouldn't like that, would she? Then I want to ask about the pram too, You know it lost a nut again yesterday. Well, perhaps, little dear, we could make one little tap at the door. Now what do you think, little dear?' Usually Rosalind would make a brief response which had no connection with what was being discussed, confirming me in my belief that she never listened to Cuckoo. and ask her, must we? Oh no, she wouldn't like that, would she? Then I want to ask about the pram too, You know it lost a nut again yesterday. Well, perhaps, little dear, we could make one little tap at the door. Now what do you think, little dear?' Usually Rosalind would make a brief response which had no connection with what was being discussed, confirming me in my belief that she never listened to Cuckoo.

'Blue Teddy is going to have his dinner now,' she would declare. Rosalind had been given dolls, a dolls' house, and various other toys, but she only really cared for animals. She had a silk creature called Blue Teddy, and another called Red Teddy, and these were joined later by a much larger rather sickly mauve teddy bear called Edward Bear. Of these three Rosalind loved with a complete and utter pa.s.sion Blue Teddy. He was a limp animal, made of blue stockinette silk, with black eyes set flat into his flat face. He accompanied her everywhere, and I had to tell stories about him every night. The stories concerned both Blue Teddy and Red Teddy. Every night they had a fresh adventure. Blue Teddy was good and Red Teddy was very, very naughty. Red Teddy did some splendidly naughty things, such as putting glue on the school-teacher's chair so that when she sat down she could not get up again. One day he put a frog in the school-teacher's pocket, and she screamed and had hysterics. These tales met with great approval, and frequently I had to repeat them. Blue Teddy was of a nauseating and priggish virtue. He was top of his cla.s.s in school and never did a naughty deed of any kind. Every day, when the boys left for school, Red Teddy promised his mother that he would be good today. On their return their mother would ask, 'Have you been a good boy, Blue Teddy?'

'Yes, Mummy, very good.'

'That's my dear boy. Have you been good, Red Teddy?'

'No, Mummy, I have been very naughty.' On one occasion Red Teddy had gone fighting with some bad boys and come home with an enormous black eye. A piece of fresh steak was put on it and he was sent to bed. Later Red Teddy blotted his copybook still further by eating the piece of steak that had been placed on his eye. n.o.body could have been more delightful to tell stories to than Rosalind. She chuckled, laughed, and appreciated every minor point.

'Yes, little dear'Cuckoo, showing no signs of helping Rosalind to give Blue Teddy his dinner, continued to quack'Perhaps before we go we might just ask ask Mummy, if it doesn't disturb her, because you know I Mummy, if it doesn't disturb her, because you know I would would like to know about the pram.' At this point, maddened, I would rise from my chair, all ideas of Ann in deadly peril in the forests of Rhodesia going out of my mind, and jerk open the door. like to know about the pram.' At this point, maddened, I would rise from my chair, all ideas of Ann in deadly peril in the forests of Rhodesia going out of my mind, and jerk open the door.

What is is it, Nurse? What do you want?' it, Nurse? What do you want?'

'Oh, I'm so sorry, Ma'am. I am very sorry indeed. I didn't mean to disturb you.'

'Well, you have disturbed me. What is it?'

'Oh, but I didn't knock on the door or anything. anything.'

'You've been talking outside,' I said, 'and I can hear every word you say. What is the matter with the pram?'

'Well, I do think, Ma'am, that we really ought ought to have a new pram. You know I'm quite ashamed going to the park and seeing all the nice prams that the other little girls have. Oh yes indeed, I do feel that Miss Rosalind ought to have as good as anyone.' Nurse and I had a permanent battle about Rosalind's pram. We had originally bought it second-hand. It was a good, strong pram, perfectly comfortable; but it was not what could be called smart. There is a fas.h.i.+on in prams, I learned, and every year or two the makers give them a different 'line', a different cut of the jib, as it werevery much, of course, like motor cars nowadays. Jessie Swannell had not complained, but Jessie Swannell had come from Nigeria, and it is possible that they did not keep up so much with the Joneses in prams out there. I was to realise now that Cuckoo was a member of that sorority of nurses who met in Kensington Gardens with their infant charges, where they would sit down and compare notes as to the merits of their situations and the beauty and cleverness of their particular child. The baby had to be well dressed, in the proper fas.h.i.+on for babies at that moment, or Nurse would be shamed. That was all right. Rosalind's clothes pa.s.sed muster. The overalls and dresses I had made her in Canada were the to have a new pram. You know I'm quite ashamed going to the park and seeing all the nice prams that the other little girls have. Oh yes indeed, I do feel that Miss Rosalind ought to have as good as anyone.' Nurse and I had a permanent battle about Rosalind's pram. We had originally bought it second-hand. It was a good, strong pram, perfectly comfortable; but it was not what could be called smart. There is a fas.h.i.+on in prams, I learned, and every year or two the makers give them a different 'line', a different cut of the jib, as it werevery much, of course, like motor cars nowadays. Jessie Swannell had not complained, but Jessie Swannell had come from Nigeria, and it is possible that they did not keep up so much with the Joneses in prams out there. I was to realise now that Cuckoo was a member of that sorority of nurses who met in Kensington Gardens with their infant charges, where they would sit down and compare notes as to the merits of their situations and the beauty and cleverness of their particular child. The baby had to be well dressed, in the proper fas.h.i.+on for babies at that moment, or Nurse would be shamed. That was all right. Rosalind's clothes pa.s.sed muster. The overalls and dresses I had made her in Canada were the dernier cri dernier cri in children's wear. The c.o.c.ks and hens and pots of flowers on their black background filled everybody with admiration and envy. But where smart prams were concerned, poor Cuckoo's pram was regrettably below the proper standard, and she never missed telling me when somebody had come along with a brand new vehicle. 'Any nurse would be proud of a pram like that!' However, I was hard-hearted. We were very badly off, and I was in children's wear. The c.o.c.ks and hens and pots of flowers on their black background filled everybody with admiration and envy. But where smart prams were concerned, poor Cuckoo's pram was regrettably below the proper standard, and she never missed telling me when somebody had come along with a brand new vehicle. 'Any nurse would be proud of a pram like that!' However, I was hard-hearted. We were very badly off, and I was not not going to get a fancy pram at large expense just to indulge Cuckoo's vanity. going to get a fancy pram at large expense just to indulge Cuckoo's vanity.

'I don't even think that pram's safe,' said Cuckoo, making a last try. 'There's always nuts coming off.'

'That's going on and off the pavement so much,' I said. 'You don't screw them up before you go out. In any case, I am not going to get a new pram.' And I went in again and banged the door.

'Dear, dear,' said Cuckoo. 'Mummy doesn't seem at all pleased, does she? Well, my poor little dear, it doesn't seem as if we're going to have a nice new carriage, does it?'

'Blue Teddy wants his dinner,' said Rosalind. 'Come along, Nanny.'

IV

In the end The Mystery of the Mill House The Mystery of the Mill House got finished somehow or other, in spite of the difficulties of Cuckoo's got finished somehow or other, in spite of the difficulties of Cuckoo's...o...b..igato obbligato outside the door. Poor Cuckoo! Shortly afterwards she consulted a doctor and moved to a hospital where she had an operation for cancer of the breast. She was a good deal older than she had said she was, and there was no question of her returning to work as a nurse. She went to live, I believe, with a sister. outside the door. Poor Cuckoo! Shortly afterwards she consulted a doctor and moved to a hospital where she had an operation for cancer of the breast. She was a good deal older than she had said she was, and there was no question of her returning to work as a nurse. She went to live, I believe, with a sister.

I had decided that the next nurse should not be selected at Mrs Boucher's Bureau, or from anyone of that ilk. What I needed was a Mother's Help, so a Mother's Help I advertised for.

From the moment which brought Site into our family, our luck seemed to change for the better. I interviewed Site in Devons.h.i.+re. She was a strapping girl, with a large bust, broad hips, a flushed face and dark hair. She had a deep contralto voice, with a particularly lady-like and refined accent, so much so that you couldn't help feeling that she was acting a part on the stage. She had been a Mother's Help to two or three different establishments for some years now, and radiated competence in the way she spoke of the infant world. She seemed good-natured, good-tempered, and full of enthusiasm. She asked a low salary, and seemed quite willing to do anything, go anywhereas they say in the advertis.e.m.e.nts. So Site returned with us to London, and became the comfort of my life.

Naturally her name at that time was not Siteit was Miss Whitebut after a few months of being with us Miss White became in Rosalind's rapid p.r.o.nunciation 'Swite'. For a while we called her Swite; then Rosalind made another contraction, and thereafter she was known as Site. Rosalind was very fond of her, and Site liked Rosalind. She liked all small children, but she kept her dignity and was a strict disciplinarian in her own way. She would not stand for any disobedience or rudeness.

Rosalind missed her role as controller and director of Cuckoo. I suspect now that she transferred these activities to metaking me in her same beneficent charge, finding things for me that I had lost, pointing out to me that I had forgotten to stamp an envelope, and so on. Certainly, by the time that she was five years old, I was conscious that she was much more efficient than I was. On the other hand she had no imagination. If we were playing a game with each other, in which two figures took partfor instance, a man taking a dog for a walk (I may say that I would be the dog and she would be the man)there might come a moment when the dog had to be put on a lead.

'We haven't got a lead,' Rosalind would say. 'We'll have to change that part.'

'You can pretend you have a lead,' I suggested.

'How can can I pretend I have a lead when I've nothing in my hand?' I pretend I have a lead when I've nothing in my hand?'

'Well, take the waist-belt of my dress and pretend that's a lead.'

'It's not a dog lead, it's the waist-belt of a dress.' Things had to be real to Rosalind. Unlike me, she never read fairy stories as a child. 'But they're not real,' real,' she would protest. 'They're about people who aren't therethey don't really happen. Tell me about Red Teddy at the picnic.' she would protest. 'They're about people who aren't therethey don't really happen. Tell me about Red Teddy at the picnic.'

The curious thing is that by the time she was fourteen she adored fairy stories, and would read books of them again and again.

Site fitted into our household extremely well. Dignified and competent as she looked, she did not really know much more about cooking than I did. She had been an a.s.sistant always. We had to be a.s.sistants to each other in our present way of living. Although we each had dishes that we made wellI made cheese souffle, Bearnaise sauce, and old English syllabub, Site made jam tartlets and could pickle herringswe were neither of us adept at producing what I believe is termed 'a balanced meal'. To a.s.semble a joint, a vegetable such as carrots, or brussels sprouts, potatoes, and a pudding afterwards, we would suffer from the fact that we did not know exactly how long these various things took to cook. The brussels sprouts would be reduced to a soggy mess, while the carrots were still hard. However, we learnt as we went along.

We divided duties. One morning I took Rosalind in charge and we set off in the serviceable, but not fas.h.i.+onable pram to the parkthough by now we used the push-chair more oftenwhile Site prepared the lunch and made the beds. Next morning I would stay at home and do the domestic ch.o.r.es and Site would depart for the park. On the whole I found the first activity more tiring than the second. It was a long way to the park, and when you got there you couldn't sit still and rest and make your mind a blank. You had either to converse with Rosalind and play with her, or see she was suitably occupied playing with somebody else and that n.o.body was taking away her boat or knocking her down. During domestic ch.o.r.es I could relax my mind completely. Robert Graves once said to me that was.h.i.+ng up was one of the best aids to creative thought. I think he is quite right. There is a monotony about domestic dutiessufficient activity for the physical side, so that it releases your mental side, allowing it to take off into s.p.a.ce and make its own thoughts and inventions. That doesn't apply to cooking, of course. Cooking demands all your creative abilities and complete attention.

Site was a welcome relief after Cuckoo. She and Rosalind occupied themselves quite happily without my hearing a peep out of them. They were either in the nursery or down on the green below, or doing some shopping.

It was a shock to me when about six months after she came to us I discovered Site's age. I had not asked her. She seemed obviously between twenty-four and twenty-eight, which was about the age I wanted, and it did not occur to me to be more definite. I was startled when I learnt that at the time of coming into my employment she was seventeen, and was now only just eighteen. It seemed incredible; she had such an air of maturity about her. But she had worked as a Mother's Help since she had been about thirteen. She had a natural liking for her job and full proficiency in it; and her air of experience came from really really being experienced, very much in the way that the eldest child of a large family has had great experience in dealing with small brothers and sisters. being experienced, very much in the way that the eldest child of a large family has had great experience in dealing with small brothers and sisters.

Young as Site was, I would never have hesitated to go off for long periods and leave Rosalind in her charge. She was eminently sensible. She would send for the right doctor, take a child to a hospital, find out if anything was worrying her, deal with any emergency. Her mind was always on her job. In good old-fas.h.i.+oned terms, she had a vocation.

I heaved an enormous sigh of relief as I finished The Mystery of the Mill House. The Mystery of the Mill House. It had not been an easy book to write, and I considered it rather patchy when I had finished it. But there it was, finished, and, like Uncle Tom Cobley and all, with old Eustace Pedler and all. The Bodley Head hemmed and hawed a bit. It was not, they pointed out, a proper detective story, as It had not been an easy book to write, and I considered it rather patchy when I had finished it. But there it was, finished, and, like Uncle Tom Cobley and all, with old Eustace Pedler and all. The Bodley Head hemmed and hawed a bit. It was not, they pointed out, a proper detective story, as Murder on the Links Murder on the Links had been. However, graciously, they accepted it. had been. However, graciously, they accepted it.

It was about then that I noticed a slight change in their att.i.tude. Though I had been ignorant and foolish when I first submitted a book for publication, I had learnt a few things since. I was not as stupid as I must have appeared to many people. I had found out a good deal about writing and publis.h.i.+ng. I knew about the Authors' Society and I had read their periodical. I realised that you had to be extremely careful in making contracts with publishers, and especially with certain publishers. I had learnt of the many ways in which publishers took unfair advantage of authors. Now that I knew these things, I made my plans.

Shortly before bringing out The Mystery of the Mill House, The Mystery of the Mill House, The Bodley Head threw out certain proposals. They suggested that they might sc.r.a.p the old contract and make another one with me, also for five books. The terms of this would be much more favourable. I thanked them politely, said I would think about it, and then refused, without giving any definite reason. They had not treated a young author fairly, I considered. They had taken advantage of her lack of knowledge and her eagerness to publish a book. I did not propose to quarrel with them on this pointI had been a fool. Anyone is a fool who does not find out a little bit about the proper remuneration for the job. On the other hand, would I, in spite of my acquired wisdom, still have refused the chance to publish The Bodley Head threw out certain proposals. They suggested that they might sc.r.a.p the old contract and make another one with me, also for five books. The terms of this would be much more favourable. I thanked them politely, said I would think about it, and then refused, without giving any definite reason. They had not treated a young author fairly, I considered. They had taken advantage of her lack of knowledge and her eagerness to publish a book. I did not propose to quarrel with them on this pointI had been a fool. Anyone is a fool who does not find out a little bit about the proper remuneration for the job. On the other hand, would I, in spite of my acquired wisdom, still have refused the chance to publish The Mysterious Affair at Styles? The Mysterious Affair at Styles? I thought not. I would still have published with them on the terms they had suggested, but I would not have agreed to so long a contract for so many books. If you have trusted people once and been disappointed, you do not wish to trust them any more. That is only common sense, I was willing to finish my contract, but after that I was certainly going to find a new publisher. Also, I thought, I was going to have a literary agent. I thought not. I would still have published with them on the terms they had suggested, but I would not have agreed to so long a contract for so many books. If you have trusted people once and been disappointed, you do not wish to trust them any more. That is only common sense, I was willing to finish my contract, but after that I was certainly going to find a new publisher. Also, I thought, I was going to have a literary agent.

I had a request from the Income Tax about this time. They wanted to know the details of my literary earnings. I was astonished. I had never considered my literary earnings as income. All the income I had, I thought, was 100 a year from 2000 invested in War Loan. Yes, they said, they knew about that, but they meant my earnings from published books. I explained that these were not something that came in every yearI had just happened to write three books just as I had happened to write short stories before, or poems. I wasn't an author. I wasn't going on writing all my life. I thought, I said, coming on a phrase from somewhere, that this sort of thing was called 'casual profit'. They said they thought by now I really was an established author, even though as yet I might not have made much from my writing. They wanted details. Unfortunately I could not give them detailsI had not kept any of the royalty statements sent me (if they had even been sent me, which I could not remember). I occasionally received an odd cheque, but I had usually cashed it straight away and spent it. However, I unravelled things to the best of my ability. The Inland Revenue seemed amused, on the whole, but suggested that in future I should keep more careful accounts. It was then that I decided I must have a literary agent.

As I didn't know much about literary agents, I thought I had better go back to Eden Philpotts' original recommendationHughes Ma.s.sie. So back I went. It wasn't Hughes Ma.s.sie nowapparently he had diedinstead I was received by a young man with a slight stammer, whose name was Edmund Cork. He was not nearly so alarming as Hughes Ma.s.sie had beenin fact I could talk to him quite easily. He seemed suitably horrified at my ignorance, and was willing to guide my footsteps in future. He told me the exact amount of his commission, of the possibility of serial rights, and publication in America, of dramatic rights, and all sorts of unlikely things (or so it seemed to me). It was quite an impressive lecture. I placed myself in his hands, unreservedly, and left his office with a sigh of relief. I felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

That was the beginning of a friends.h.i.+p which has lasted for over forty years.

An almost unbelievable thing then occurred. I was offered 500 by The Evening News The Evening News for the serial rights of for the serial rights of The Mystery of the Mill House. The Mystery of the Mill House. It was no longer It was no longer The Mystery of the Mill House: The Mystery of the Mill House: I had rechristened it I had rechristened it The Man in the Brown Suit, The Man in the Brown Suit, because the other t.i.tle seemed too like because the other t.i.tle seemed too like Murder on the Links. The Evening News Murder on the Links. The Evening News proposed to change the t.i.tle yet again. They were going to call it proposed to change the t.i.tle yet again. They were going to call it Anna The Adventuress Anna The Adventuressas silly a t.i.tle as I had ever heard, I thought; though I kept my mouth shut, because, after all, they were willing to pay me 500, and though I might have certain feelings about the t.i.tle of a book, n.o.body could be bothered about the t.i.tle of a serial in a newspaper. It seemed the most unbelievable luck. I could hardly believe it, Archie could hardly believe it, Punkie could hardly believe it. Mother, of course, could easily believe it: any daughter of hers could earn 500 for a serial in The Evening News The Evening News with the utmost easethere was nothing surprising about it. with the utmost easethere was nothing surprising about it.

It always seems to be the pattern of life that all the bad things and all the good things come together. I had my stroke of luck with The Evening News, The Evening News, now Archie was to have his. He received a letter from an Australian friend, Clive Baillieu, who had long before suggested Archie might join his firm. Archie went to see him and was offered the job he had been yearning for for so many years. He shook off the dust of his present job, and went in with Clive Baillieu. He was immediately, wonderfully, completely happy. Here at last were sound and interesting enterprises, no sharp practice, and proper entry into the world of finance. We were in the seventh heaven. now Archie was to have his. He received a letter from an Australian friend, Clive Baillieu, who had long before suggested Archie might join his firm. Archie went to see him and was offered the job he had been yearning for for so many years. He shook off the dust of his present job, and went in with Clive Baillieu. He was immediately, wonderfully, completely happy. Here at last were sound and interesting enterprises, no sharp practice, and proper entry into the world of finance. We were in the seventh heaven.

Immediately I pressed for the project that I had cherished for so long, and about which Archie had hitherto been indifferent. We would try to find a small cottage in the country from which Archie could go to the City every day, and in the garden of which Rosalind could be turned out to gra.s.s, as it were, instead of having to be pushed to the park or confined to activities on the gra.s.s strip between the flats. I longed to live in the country. If we could find a cheap enough cottage we decided we would move.

Archie's ready agreement to my plan was mostly, I think, because golf was now occupying more and more of his attention. He had been recently elected to Sunningdale Golf Club, and our weekends together of going off by train and making expeditions on foot had palled. He thought of nothing but golf. He played with various friends at Sunningdale, and now lesser and minor courses were treated by him with scorn. He could get no fun out of playing with a rabbit like me, so little by little, though not aware of the fact yet, I was becoming that well-known figure, a golf widow.

'I don't mind living in the country,' said Archie. 'Indeed, I think I'd quite like it, and of course it would be good for Rosalind. Site likes the country, and I know you do. If so, there is really only one possible place where we can can live, and that is Sunningdale.' live, and that is Sunningdale.'

'Sunningdale,' I said with slight dismay, for Sunningdale was not quite what I meant by the country. 'But surely that is terribly expensive, isn't it? It's all rich people who live there.'

'Oh, I expect we could find something,' said Archie, optimistically. A day or two later he asked me how I was going to spend my 500 from The Evening News. The Evening News. 'It's a lot of money,' I said. 'I suppose' I admit I spoke grudgingly, with no conviction: 'I suppose we 'It's a lot of money,' I said. 'I suppose' I admit I spoke grudgingly, with no conviction: 'I suppose we ought ought to save it for a rainy day.' to save it for a rainy day.'

'Oh, I don't think we need worry too much about that now. In with the Baillieus I shall have very good prospects, and you seem to be getting on with your writing.'

'Yes,' I said. 'Perhaps I could spend itor spend some of it.' Vague ideas of an new evening dress, perhaps gold or silver evening shoes instead of black ones, something rather ambitious like a fairy cycle for Rosalind. Archie's voice broke into these musings. 'Why don't you buy a car?' he asked.

'Buy a car?' I looked at him with amazement. The last thing I dreamed of was a car. n.o.body I knew in our circle of friends had a car. I was still imbued with the notion that cars were for the rich. They rushed past you at twenty, thirty, forty, fifty miles an hour, containing people with their hats tied on with chiffon veils, speeding to impossible places. 'A car? car?' I repeated, looking more like a zombie than ever.

'Why not?' Why not indeed? It was possible. I, Agatha, could have a car, a car of my own. I will confess here and now that of the two things that have excited me most in my life the first was my car: my grey bottle-nosed Morris Cowley. The second was dining with the Queen at Buckingham Palace about forty years later. Both of those happenings, you see, had something of a fairy-tale quality about them. They were things that I thought could never happen to me: me: to have a car of my own, and to dine with the Queen of England. to have a car of my own, and to dine with the Queen of England.

p.u.s.s.ycat, p.u.s.s.ycat, where have you been?I've been to London to visit the Queen.

It was almost as good as having been born the Lady Agatha!

p.u.s.s.ycat, p.u.s.s.ycat, what did you there?I frightened a little mouse under her chair.

I had no chance of frightening any mouse under Queen Elizabeth II's chair, but I did enjoy my evening. So small, and slender, in her simple dark red velvet gown with one beautiful jeweland her kindness and easiness in talking. I remember she told us one story of how they used a small drawing-room one night, and in the middle of the evening a terrific fall of soot came down the chimney and they had to rush out of the room. It is cheering to know that domestic disasters happened in the highest circles.

PART VII

THE LAND OF LOST CONTENT

I