Alice in Wonderland Part 6

"Stu-pid things!" Al-ice said in a loud voice, but stopped at once, for the White Rab-bit cried out, "Si-lence in court!" and the King looked round to make out who spoke.

Al-ice could see quite well that the ju-rors all wrote down "stu-pid things!" on their slates, she could e-ven make out that one of them didn't know how to spell "stu-pid" and that he asked the one by his side to tell him, "A nice mud-dle their slates will be in by the time the tri-al's ended," thought Al-ice.

One of the ju-rors had a pen-cil that squeaked as he wrote. This, of course, Al-ice could not stand, so she went round near him, and soon found a chance to get it from him. This she did in such a way that the poor ju-ror (it was Bill, the Liz-ard) could not make out at all where it was, so he wrote with one fin-ger for the rest of the day. Of course, this was of no use, as it left no mark on the slate.

"Read the charge!" said the King.

On this the White Rab-bit blew three blasts on the trum-pet, and then from the pa-per in his hand read: "The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a sum-mer day: The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, And took them quite a-way!"

"The ju-ry will now take the case," said the King.

"Not yet, not yet!" the Rab-bit said in haste. "There is a great deal else to come first."

[Ill.u.s.tration]

"Call the first wit-ness," said the King, and the White Rab-bit blew three blasts on the trum-pet, and called out, "First wit-ness."

The first to come was the Hat-ter. He came in with a tea cup in one hand and a piece of bread and but-ter in the oth-er.

"I beg par-don, your ma-jes-ty," he said, "but I had to bring these in, as I was not quite through with my tea when I was sent for."

"You ought to have been through," said the King. "When did you be-gin?"

The Hat-ter looked at the March Hare, who had just come in-to court, arm in arm with the Dor-mouse. "Fourth of March, I think it was," he said.

"Fifth," said the March Hare.

"Sixth," add-ed the Dor-mouse.

"Write that down," said the King to the ju-ry, and they wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up and changed the sum to s.h.i.+l-lings and pence.

"Take off your hat," the King said to the Hat-ter.

"It isn't mine," said the Hat-ter.

"Stole it!" cried the King, as he turned to the jury, who at once wrote it down.

"I keep them to sell," the Hat-ter added. "I've none of my own. I'm a hat-ter."

Here the Queen put on her eye-gla.s.s-es and stared hard at the Hat-ter, who turned pale with fright.

"Tell what you know of this case," said the King; "and don't be nerv-ous, or I'll have your head off on the spot."

This did not seem to calm him at all, he s.h.i.+ft-ed from one foot to the other and looked at the Queen, and in his fright he bit a large piece out of his tea-cup in place of the bread and but-ter.

Just then Al-ice felt a strange thrill, the cause of which she could not make out till she saw she had be-gun to grow a-gain.

"I wish you wouldn't squeeze so," said the Dor-mouse. "I haven't room to breathe."

"I can't help it," said Al-ice; "I'm grow-ing."

"You've no right to grow here," said the Dor-mouse.

"Don't talk such non-sense," said Al-ice. "You know you grow too."

"Yes, but not so fast as to squeeze the breath out of those who sit by me." He got up and crossed to the oth-er side of the court.

All this time the Queen had not left off star-ing at the Hat-ter, and just as the Dor-mouse crossed the court, she said to one of the men, "Bring me the list of those who sang in the last con-cert," on which the poor Hat-ter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

"Tell what you know of this case," the King called out a-gain, "or I'll have your head off, if you do shake."

"I'm a poor man, your ma-jes-ty," the Hat-ter be-gan in a weak voice, "and I hadn't but just be-gun my tea, not more than a week or so, and what with the bread and but-ter so thin--and the twink-ling of the tea--"

"The twink-ling of what?" asked the King.

"It be-gan with the tea," the Hat-ter said.

"Of course twink-ling be-gins with a T!" said the King. "Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!"

"I'm a poor man," the Hat-ter went on, "and most things twink-led af-ter that--but the March Hare said--"

"I didn't," said the March Hare in great haste.

"You did," said the Hat-ter.

"I de-ny it," said the March Hare.

"He de-nies it," said the King: "leave out that part."

"Well, I'm sure the Dor-mouse said--" the Hat-ter went on, with a look at the Dor-mouse to see if he would de-ny it too, but he was fast a-sleep.

"Then I cut some more bread and--"

"But what did the Dor-mouse say?" asked one of the ju-ry.

"That I can't tell," said the Hat-ter.

"You must tell or I'll have your head off," said the King.

The wretch-ed Hat-ter dropped his cup and bread, and went down on one knee.

"I'm a poor man," he be-gan.

"You're a poor speak-er," said the King.

Here one of the guin-ea pigs cheered, and one of the men seized him, thrust him in-to a bag which tied up with strings, and then sat up-on it.

"If that's all you know, you may stand down," the King said.

"I'm as low as I can get now," said the Hat-ter; "I'm on the floor as it is."

"Then you may sit down," the King said.

"I'd like to get through with my tea first," said the Hat-ter with a look at the Queen who still read the list in her hand.

"You may go," said the King, and the Hat-ter left the court in such haste that he did not e-ven wait to put his shoes on.

"And just take his head off out-side," the Queen add-ed to one of the sol-diers, but the Hat-ter was out of sight be-fore the man could get to the door.

"Call the next wit-ness," said the King.

The next to come was the Duch-ess' cook, and Al-ice guessed who it was by the way the peo-ple near the door sneezed all at once.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

"Tell what you know of this case," said the King.

"Shan't," said the cook.

The King looked at the White Rab-bit, who said in a low voice, "Your ma-jes-ty must make her tell."

"Well, if I must, I must," said the King with a sad look. He fold-ed his arms and frowned at the cook till his eyes were al-most out of sight, then asked in a stern voice, "What are tarts made of?"

"Pep-per, most-ly," said the cook.

"Sug-ar," said a weak voice near her.

"Catch that Dor-mouse," the Queen shrieked out. "Off with his head! Turn him out of court! Pinch him! Off with his head!"

The whole court ran here and there, get-ting the Dor-mouse turned out, and by the time this was done, the cook had gone.

"That's all right," said the King, as if he were glad to be rid of her. "Call the next," and he add-ed in a low tone to the Queen, "Now, my dear, you must take the next wit-ness in hand; it quite makes my head ache!"

Al-ice watched the White Rab-bit as he looked o-ver the list. She thought to her-self, "I want to see what the next witness will be like, for they haven't found out much yet."

Think, if you can, how she felt when the White Rab-bit read out, at the top of his shrill lit-tle voice, the name "Al-ice!"

CHAPTER XII.

AL-ICE ON THE STAND.

"Here!" cried Al-ice, but she quite for-got how large she had grown in the last few min-utes, and jumped up in such haste that the edge of her skirt tipped the ju-ry box and turned them all out on the heads of the crowd be-low; and there they lay sprawl-ing a-bout, which made her think of a globe of gold-fish which she had up-set the week be-fore.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

"Oh, I beg your par-don!" she said, and picked them up and put them backed in the ju-ry box as fast as she could.

"The tri-al can not go on," said the King in a grave voice, "till all the men are back in place--all," he said with great force and looked hard at Al-ice.

She looked at the ju-ry box and saw that in her haste she had put the Liz-ard in head first and the poor thing was wav-ing its tail in the air, but could not move. She soon got it out and put it right; "not that it mat-ters much," she thought; "I should think it would be quite as much use in the tri-al one way up as the oth-er."

[Ill.u.s.tration]

As soon as their slates and pen-cils had been hand-ed back to them, the ju-ry set to work to write out an ac-count of their fall, all but the Liz-ard, who seem-ed too weak to write, but sat and gazed up in-to the roof of the court.

"What do you know of this case?" the King asked Al-ice.

"Not one thing," said Al-ice.

"Not one thing, at all?" asked the King.

"Not one thing, at all," said Al-ice.

"Write that down," the King said to the ju-ry.

The King sat for some time and wrote in his note-book, then he called out, "Si-lence!" and read from his book, "Rule For-ty-two. Each one more than a mile high to leave the court."

All looked at Al-ice.

"I'm not a mile high," said Al-ice.

"You are," said the King.

"Not far from two miles high," add-ed the Queen.

"Well, I shan't go," said Al-ice, "for I know that's a new rule you have just made."

"It's the first rule in the book," said the King.

"Then it ought to be Rule One," said Al-ice.

The King turned pale and shut his note-book at once.

"The ju-ry can now take the case," he said in a weak voice.

"There's more to come yet, please your ma-jes-ty," said the White Rab-bit, as he jumped up; "this thing has just been picked up."

"What's in it?" asked the Queen.

"I haven't read it yet," said the White Rab-bit, "but it seems to be a note from the Knave of Hearts to some one."