Three in Norway Part 16

The Skipper says it is a glacial moraine, 'any donkey can see that at a glance;' and Esau holds to the opinion that it is an artificial mound put up for ancient regiments of Gjendin yeomen and Memurudalen militia to practise archery at. Possibly none of these theories give the correct solution; but, whatever its origin, it makes a capital rifle b.u.t.t for our occasional shooting. Esau was heard to irreverently remark, as he aimed at it with the Skipper's rifle, 'he guessed an express bullet would rouse old Jarl Hakon out of that,' but nothing particular followed.

To-day the Skipper composed an Irish stew as a _piece de resistance_, which, when it came to table, was unanimously voted the best of all the excellent dishes on which we have feasted here. After dinner we made an enormous fire for the sole purpose of warmth, as the nights are now very cold, and during this fine weather after sunset a strong draught sets down our valley towards the lake. We have ascertained that a like draught blows down each of the other valleys running into Gjendin, making the lake a centre. That in ours begins gently directly the sun has set, and increases in strength until it amounts to a stiff breeze; and as it comes direct from the vast snow fjelds, it is a disagreeably chilly blast, which freezes that side of our bodies remote from the fire, and leads us to envy the happy condition of a leg of mutton attached to a roasting-jack. That, 'o nimium fortunatum!' enjoys equally in every part the genial warmth, while man has no mechanical arrangement by which his immortal soul can be rendered blissful through the medium of a temperate body.

In the morning a breeze begins to blow out of the lake into all the valleys; ill.u.s.trating on a small scale the cause of land and sea breezes all over the world. The Skipper and John (who is a man of profound science) have elaborated a theory explaining the exact reason of this interesting phenomenon; but as their explanation is entirely opposed to the teachings of Dr. Brewer and the opinions of Professor Tyndall, and involves a rearrangement of existing notions concerning radiation and the movements of the heavenly bodies, we think it best to exclude it from these pages, as this is not a simply scientific work, and we have no desire to hurt the feelings of even the above-named misguided philosophers.

CHAPTER XXVI.

DISASTER.

_August 31._--We have got quite tired of writing 'Another beautiful day,' and in future shall bring notebooks to Norway with these words ready printed at the top of each page.

The Skipper paddled away to Gjendebod, to bring home the deerskin which he had left there to dry. He returned with a splendid bag of the best trout that ever came out of Gjendin, and that means the best in the world; but he was in a state of great indignation because he had been charged 5s. 6d. for beds, dinners, and breakfasts for himself and ola when they stayed there a few nights ago. This is the result of living in a cheap country for two months: to the ordinary Englishman it would not appear an exorbitant hotel bill, especially when the hotel (!) is fifty miles from a town, and only open for two months in the year.

Just at bedtime Esau crawled into the tent saying that he had strained his back in lifting a stone: he was in such pain that he could hardly stand, and was white and s.h.i.+vering. We undressed him and put him to bed, and then produced the liniment from the 'medicine chest,' by which name we dignify the cigar-box which contains our little stock of drugs. Then John spent an hour viciously rubbing remedies into his victim's back, as one rubs oil into a bat, so that Esau presently groaned out, 'Thanks, John, I think that will do, I feel a great deal better now;' and certainly he did seem to experience a kind of relief as soon as the rubbing stopped. After this we turned in.

_September 1._--Esau spent a sleepless night, and this morning could not move. Thereupon John n.o.bly closed with him for another half-hour's rubbing, which had a decided effect, and after giving him some breakfast, we carried him out and made a comfortable bed for him under the Sycamine tree, and there left him with the library and all his belongings in easy reach.

At midday John returned from fis.h.i.+ng to lunch with the invalid, and we wondered how all our friends in England were getting on with the partridges, and almost wished we were there for a few minutes, as we pictured to ourselves Eddie and Jack both talking sixteen to the dozen at lunch over beefsteak pie and beer (fancy beer, John!); old Blank, with two young dogs tied to him, perspiring over the downs; and the Major sitting with his cigar aboard the yacht at Cowes, and thinking how snug his birds were lying down Gorseham way, not to be disturbed till his return next month to shoot at them, while all the time the Furzely boys were walking them up, and making them as wild as hawks.

After lunch, John accomplished what has long been his great desire, the ascent of the sugar-loaf mountain across the Memurua; and after boiling a thermometer at the topmost peak, burying a pocket handkerchief (thoughtfully borrowed from Esau, who was too unwell to refuse him anything), and 'carving his name on the Newgate Stone with his Tollekniv fine tra la,' he returned in raptures about the view, and overcome with sublime and poetical emotions, which did not subside until he had poured forth his soul to his two friends at dinner.

The Skipper stalked without success, though he found the tracks of a good herd that had only just pa.s.sed over the ground. Though the day was so pleasant, he had not exactly enjoyed his walk, for he could not help being filled with gloomy forebodings about Esau; picturing to himself the difficulties that would arise in getting men to carry the invalid down to Christiania in a litter, with him yelling at every step. But behold, how untrustworthy a thing is imagination! when the Skipper arrived in camp, he was agreeably surprised to find the object of his solicitude sitting up and actually stirring the rice for the curry, so marvellous had been the effect of John's lubrication; a.s.sisted by the support to his back of a kind of splint composed of birch bark, a towel, and two straps.

_September 2._--John ate new bread again for dinner yesterday, and the Skipper was aroused in the middle of the night by a claw reaching out from the adjoining bed, which clutched his pillow and rug and tried to drag them away; the whole of this being accompanied by blood-curdling groans and hideous yells. He became more peaceful after a short time, but the Skipper is now in mortal fear lest John should again suffer from indigestion, and again stretch out that gruesome claw, and grabbing him by the hair, drag him forth from the tent, and with demoniac shrieks stamp the life out of his frail body, while he makes the quiet valley re-echo to his triumphant mocking laughter. This, the Skipper a.s.serts, would be only one step beyond his conduct of last night.

The latest scientific observations have caused us to re-cla.s.sify the different alt.i.tudes thus:--First, the country of high cultivation and wild strawberries; above that the zone of uncleared pine forests and most of the berries; then the belt of stunted birches and black game; higher still, that of cows and goats; and above that, the country where reindeer flourish and snow lies all the year round. This takes us to the summit of all things earthly, and in this zone there is hardly any vegetation. Beyond it is the region of eagles, but in the present incomplete state of human knowledge we have been content to explore this highest zone by letting our spirits soar aloft without our bodies.

Gjendin is just at the highest point of the stunted-birch belt, and when the wind gets into the N.W. the thermometer, without waiting to reflect, falls a great distance very hurriedly. John, having no sheepskin, suffers a good deal from the cold at night; and the haughtiness of his spirit is so far broken that he now sleeps in two pairs of trousers, three s.h.i.+rts, and a coat, besides all his rugs. A few short weeks ago he turned from us with an air of aristocratic nausea when we were getting into bed clothed in a single s.h.i.+rt and pair of trousers, donning for his part a linen nights.h.i.+rt, an effeminacy previously unheard of in camp life.

These things are changed now, and it is difficult to persuade him not to go to bed with his boots on; but it has to be prevented on account of the new bread.

The monotony of an uneventful day was only broken by the occasional rubbing of Esau's back, amidst the victim's agonised appeals for mercy, as he thinks it is rubbed away to the bone. However, the effect is magnificent, and he can now hobble about camp and be useful to a certain extent.

MENU.--September 2.

_Vins._ Truite a l'Irlandais. _Legumes._ Onion Sauce. Salmi of Ryper. Crumpets.

Woodc.o.c.k a l'Oven.

Compote of Rice and Wimberries.

After dinner we dug a small hole in the floor of the outer tent, in which we placed a spadeful of red-hot embers from the fire. This is a capital device for obtaining warmth in a tent, as there is no smoke, and the embers keep glowing for a very long time; possibly it might be dangerous in a very close-fitting tent, but ours is airy, not to say hurricany.

Round this fire we sat and talked and smoked until bedtime, hoping against hope for a few more days of suns.h.i.+ne; but when we turned in, the wind was howling and moaning along the hill-side in a very ominous and unpleasant manner.

CHAPTER XXVII.

A CHANGE.

_September 3._--'Forty below Nero' was the probable position of the thermometer during the night. Esau declares that his back is quite well, but it is suspected that he only does this in order to avoid the administration of further remedies by John.

However, we consider this such a successful cure that we here give our recipe for strained backs to an expectant world, not as a sordid advertis.e.m.e.nt, but from pure philanthropic motives.

'Take the patient and place him on a gra.s.sy spot in the sun, and lubricate with oil; rub this in for three hours with the hand; seize his wrist and feel the pulse (if you can find it), displaying at the same time a large gold watch; look profound; mutter inwardly. Now s.h.i.+ft him gently to a shaded position; and having lighted a fire to the windward, prepare and cook thereon fourteen or fifteen pancakes, and administer while hot (as a mixture, not a lotion). Take care that the aroma of each cooking pancake is wafted in the direction of the patient. Carry this principle throughout all his nourishment. Explain to him that deer abound in the neighbouring mountains; show him quant.i.ties of fresh-caught fish and newly killed ryper; ensure a week of fine weather, and if this do not cure him he must be a _malade imaginaire_.'

Notwithstanding the improvement, of course Esau was not fit to go stalking, and this and other reasons suddenly induced us to leave Memurudalen to-day for good, and go to Gjendesheim on our way to Rus Vand. So we made a last gigantic pie, packed up, lunched, and then pulled down the tent, which had been standing so long now on the same spot, and embarked everything on board our two canoes and the Gjendesheim boat, which had been lent to us. Then the whole fleet sailed from these hospitable sh.o.r.es 'neath a stormy sky, with cold wind and rain, and the towering heights of Memurutungen all wrapped in angry clouds, frowning blackly above us.

It was quite sad to leave the snug little corner where we have spent such a happy, careless time, with all the comforts which we have added gradually to our temporary home; and the valley looked very desolate without the tent, the cheerful fire, and 'the meteor flag.'

Esau's last act was to fill two bra.s.s cartridge cases with water and hammer them firmly into each other; the air-tight boiler so formed he put into the fire under the oven, and after waiting a short time for the explosion, forgot all about it and went away without telling any one.

Just then John arrived at the spot to see if there were any loose belongings lying about, and was horrified to observe the oven suddenly elevate itself into the air and disappear among the clouds with a loud report. His mind at once reverted to the happy life of a landlord in co.

Limerick, but he soon realised the true state of affairs, and came down to the lake muttering something about 'tomdamfoolery,' a Norwegian word which expresses censure of the silly custom of practical joking.

This morning we found a merlin sitting just outside the tent door; it had evidently been stuffing itself with sc.r.a.ps of offal from the camp until it was perfectly stupid and could scarcely fly. Esau wanted to knock it on the head at first, but more humane feelings came over him, so he fetched his rifle and shot it for an hour or so, till at length the bird, wearied by the constant noise, retired into the birch woods, and we saw it no more.

There are usually several ravens near the camp, which come down to 'carry off carrion,' but otherwise there are not many birds here: the most common are buzzards and kestrels, which abound; two eagles, which are generally soaring above Memurutungen; a pair of ospreys occasionally flying about the lake; a rough-legged buzzard seen once, a few merlins, and a small short-tailed red hawk, with whom we are not acquainted; sometimes black-throated divers and scaups on the lake, and a few fieldfares and redwings in the birch woods. We have found many nests of the latter in the trees, and one of a fieldfare in a bank.

What rare times all the birds and beasts of prey will have for the next few days in Memurudalen! only to be equalled by the early days of the Australian gold fever. Nuggets of inestimable value in the shape of heads, tails, and other portions of reindeer, ryper, duck, and trout--intermingled with other delicacies, such as potato skins, jam and marmalade pots, and whisky bottles--will from time to time be unearthed amidst shrieks of triumph. 'Claims' will be run up to a fabulous price, and many a battle royal will be fought in that happy valley where we have spent a month of peace. As we depart in mournful silence, brooding over the days that are no more, we see in fancy the numerous bright eyes which from lairs and eyries are watching our every move, their owners all ready to swoop down on our _debris_ as soon as we have pa.s.sed out of sight.

The lake was very rough, and we were quite afraid of being swamped and losing our baggage from the magnitude of the big little waves; but luckily the boat took our heaviest things, or we should not have been able to venture; and so the canoes, lightly loaded and with all sail set, rode gallantly o'er the foaming billows, and we all got safe to Gjendesheim. The cheery fire in the room, with its bare wooden walls and benches, made a picture which seemed the perfection of comfort after the chilly tent and the freezing N.W. wind.

'It is the black north-wester That makes brave Englishmen Use very naughty words, and wish Themselves at home again.'

One of the party is always telling us that he intends to inflict on the British public a narration of our experiences on this expedition, and although he has not yet begun to collect materials for the work, we have begun to invent t.i.tles for the book that is to be. One is 'England, Canada, and Norway,' being a description of Englishmen travelling in Norway with Canadian canoes; and we think this t.i.tle might induce schoolmasters to buy it, under the impression that it is a geographical treatise on those countries.

The Skipper proposed 'The Fool with the Fowling-piece, or Fis.h.i.+ng and Flyblows.' John's t.i.tle was 'Mems. from Memurudalen, or Jottings from the Jotunfjeld;' and Esau suggested 'Glopit, top it, and mop it,'

alluding, he said, to the state of John's forehead whenever he arrived at the summit of that mountain; but the explanation was received with such a chorus of 'Oh! {drop it!} {stop it!}' from the others that he gave up the idea.

[[The original is printed between lines: {drop} 'Oh, it!'

{stop} ]]

One notion is to make the book a collection of cooking recipes for camp life, and call it 'Grunts from a Gourmand in Gulbrandsdalen, or Paragraphs from the Pen of a Pig;' but we think we should promote a more active sale among respectable people if it were called 'Self-Improvement, or Lights thrown on Good Living.'

Another idea is that it might get a sale by appearing surrept.i.tiously among the Christmas books for the young, and for that purpose we should use the names of our two henchmen Anglicised. 'Oola and Eva: a Tale for Girls,' could not fail to attract the favourable attention of parents and guardians.

Possibly it might create a greater sensation if it were introduced to the world as 'Julia and Pausanias: an Idyll.' It is very difficult to decide on a good name, but we are all agreed that the name once found, it will be perfectly easy to write the book afterwards.

_September 4._--How soothing and pleasant it is, when we hear the storm and rain shrieking and beating outside, to reflect that there is a good solid roof over our heads, and that we shall not be roused in the night by the cry of 'All hands turn out to slack off guy-ropes!'