Twenty Years of Hus'ling Part 16

"Yes," he answered; "had I sold the counties the profits would have suited all right."

"But you just told me you had sold them, and the Irishman had deposited ten dollars to bind the bargain."

"True, he did," said Brother Long, "but he came back the next day after I had traded, and said: 'A divil a bit of a county can I take at all, at all. Me old wife threatens to scald me, if I bring even one county into the house!'"

"Well, but you kept his ten dollars, didn't you?"

"Of course I did," he yelled out.

"Well, then, you ought to be satisfied," I ventured to remark.

"What! Satisfied with ten dollars?"

"Yes; with all these County rights besides."

"Brother Johnston," said he, "will you trade back, and give me the team for the counties?"

I answered: "I am not trading for territory, Brother Long. I am selling it."

About this time the greater portion of Brother Long's family appeared on the scene, and were re-inforced by my mother in their entreaties to me to trade back. She said it was too bad for Brother Long, and I _must_ do it.

Mr. Keefer said: "It did beat the d----l!"

I then told Brother Long that I was like him in this respect, that I wasn't doing business exclusively for glory; and that a few dollars, just at that stage of the game, would be a matter of great consideration with me.

He then offered me two dollars if I would trade back.

"Well, Brother Long," said I, "you begin to talk now as I want to hear you, except that your figures are a little below my idea of a fair compensation for my trouble."

He then anxiously inquired what my ideas were of what would be right.

"About one hundred and fifty dollars," I answered.

"O, Heavens! what shall I do? Sister Keefer, what shall I do? Shall we engage in prayer? What shall I do? What shall I do?"

Then they surrounded me, and made a general clamor for a compromise.

I dropped to a hundred dollars.

He offered twenty-five.

I fell to seventy-five.

He offered to split the difference, and he to return all the territory except one county.

After thinking the matter all over, and considering that he was a nice old gentleman and a Methodist brother, I concluded to trade back.

A few days later Brother Long and I met in the Post-office just when the mail was being distributed, and the place crowded. We were the center of attraction.

He smiled grimly at me, and while pa.s.sing by said: "The fools are not all dead yet, are they, Johnston?"

"No, Brother Long," I answered; "and there is no fool like an old fool."

About three weeks later I started on a tour through Ohio, making several agents and selling a few Towns.h.i.+p and County rights.

Another little experience with a Methodist deacon will come in here, and I will tell it. He was a farmer, living a few miles south of Marion, Ohio.

I had hired a rig, in the above town, to drive into the country to meet a gentleman with whom I had previously made an engagement. When our business was finished and I was about to leave, he bantered me to call on his neighbor, Deacon ----, who had a notorious reputation for his hatred of agents and peddlers.

As I always considered it good practice to meet such men, I was glad of the chance to make this particular visit. I reached the house just as the deacon and his sons came in for dinner.

I hitched my horse, and when about to pa.s.s through the gate the front door opened, and the man's voice, at its highest pitch, shouted out: "Stop right where you are sir. Stop; stop, I tell you. Stop!"

I put my hand to my ear, as if hard of hearing, and imitating as nearly as I could the tone peculiar to deaf persons, said: "No, no, thank you; I don't care to put my horse out. I can feed her after I get to Marion.

No, no; never mind; just as much obliged." By this time I had reached the door, and pa.s.sed directly inside.

I had the floor.

And I did all the talking for the first half hour.

The old gentleman concluded that I was an exception to the general run of agents. He then began talking religion, as soon as I quit talking Patent rights. He said I ought to make my peace with G.o.d; and when I replied that G.o.d and I had always been on splendid terms, he became almost frantic, and said that I was worse than any lightning-rod agent, and added that there never was an agent of any kind who ever pretended to tell the truth, and he wouldn't believe any of them under oath. I then said I wouldn't expect him to believe my statements, so would leave the question entirely with him and his sons whether they would deal or not. They soon began talking business to the point.

I figured on paper, and showed how one son could make more money in a single year, with one County right, than they could all make on the farm in two years.

My price for the County was one hundred dollars.

They proposed to give fifty, and I offered to split the difference and take seventy-five.

This was satisfactory, provided I would take half cash, and a note for the balance payable in one year. I agreed to it, if the old gentleman would go to Marion with me and help negotiate the note.

He said he had got to go to town anyhow, and would ride with me; and the boys could drive over after him that evening.

After making out the necessary papers and receiving my cash, we started on the turn-pike road towards Marion.

While riding along, the old gentleman gave me some very wholesome advice, saying he didn't do it because he really thought me to be a very bad fellow, but he wanted to see every young man grow up to be truthful, moral, honorable and upright. I thanked him, and told him I believed he was a mighty nice man. He said that was the reputation he bore thereabouts.

While driving leisurely along, conversing on different topics, we came to a blacksmith's shop on a three-corners, and the old gentleman remarked that when we came to the toll-gate, if I would tell the old lady gate-keeper that I came in at that shop, I could save some toll; adding, that she needn't know but I picked him up somewhere on the road.

"Yes, that's so," I answered. "That's a mighty good scheme."

He seemed to feel highly elated at suggesting such a brilliant idea.

As we were approaching the toll-gate, I said: "I wish you would pay my toll, and when we get to town I will get some change and hand it back to you."

When we stopped at the gate he asked: "How much?"

The old lady says: "How far have you come on the pike?"