Twenty Years of Hus'ling Part 18

He put on a sickly smile, and after lighting a cigar, said he knew we would come back; and asked how our business was.

We told him it had been a little slack, on account of its being so hard to get money. We staid there a week longer, and tried every conceivable plan to force the landlord to ask us for money, but he never mentioned it during our stay. We sold our team and carriage for three hundred dollars cash, and put the money in our pockets, without ever mentioning our hotel bill, or acting as though we considered ourselves his debtors.

Then we made returns to the patentees for their share of the profits on the sales we had made.

The landlord proved himself the "sort of mettle" for our business; and at last one day I stepped up to him, reached out my hand, and said: "Well, landlord, I guess we'll have to leave you for good."

He shook my hand warmly, but looked uneasy and bewildered.

He talked, undertaking to let his conversation drift towards the matter of our indebtedness. Finally I got the floor, and talked at lightning speed, paying him so many compliments, in the presence of his guests, that he was completely non-plussed, and at a loss to know how to act.

Suddenly, seeming to realize that something of much importance had escaped my memory, I said: "By the way, landlord, we haven't settled our bill, yet. How much do we owe you? Make out the bill. Mighty lucky I thought of it."

"By gracious, that's so! That's a fact. You haven't paid your bill yet, have you? Oh, well, I knew it would be all right, anyhow."

After paying up in full, we received loud praise from him, and his a.s.surance that the best his house afforded would never be too good for us, whenever we saw fit to stop with him; and said if we would stay a week longer he would have cream biscuit every meal.

CHAPTER XIV.

OUR TRIP THROUGH INDIANA--HOW I FOOLED A TELEGRAPH OPERATOR--THE OLD LANDLORD SENDS RECIPE FOR CREAM BISCUIT--OUR RETURN TO OHIO--BECOMING AGENTS FOR A NEW PATENT--OUR VALISE STOLEN--RETURN TO FT. WAYNE--WAITING SIX WEEKS FOR PATENT-RIGHT PAPERS--BUSTED--STAVING OFF THE WASHERWOMAN FOR FIVE WEEKS--"THE KID" AND 'DE EXCHANGE ACT'--HOW THE LAUNDRY WOMAN GOT EVEN WITH US--THE LANDLORD ON THE BORROW--HOW WE BORROWED OF HIM--REPLENIs.h.i.+NG OUR WARDROBE--PAYING UP THE HOTEL BILL.

We then made a trip through Indiana, and met with virtually no success at all; and very soon paid out almost our last dollar for actual expenses.

One day we had occasion to go to a small station to take the cars for Fort Wayne, when the telegraph operator left his office for a few minutes to go after the mail.

I stepped to the instrument, called the Toledo office, and sent a message to our late landlord at Napoleon, as follows:

"Send to my partner and me two dozen cream biscuit to Fort Wayne, express prepaid. We need them."

After checking the message _dead head_, signed my name, and returned to the waiting-room.

When the operator returned, the Toledo office, whose duty it was to transfer the message to Napoleon, called him up and asked who Johnston was; and wanted to know further, why his message should be dead-headed.

The operator answered that he knew nothing about it, and didn't think it was his business to inquire into other people's affairs. They told him he had better wake up and know what he was doing; and said it was his duty to collect pay for messages, and not send them for nothing. I listened attentively to what pa.s.sed between them; but finally our side won by his saying that he wanted them to understand he was running that office himself, and needed no advice.

The next day after reaching Fort Wayne, we received a letter from the landlord, in which he stated that it would be impossible for him to send cream biscuit by express, but said: "Please find enclosed the recipe for making them." We gladly accepted it, and had the pastry cooks at different hotels make them for us, which greatly pleased every one else who partook of them, besides ourselves. Later on, I made use of the recipe by presenting it to my aunt, Mrs. Frances E. Owens, and it has long been one of the favorite recipes of Mrs. Owens' Cook Book.

From Fort Wayne we went back through Ohio and stopped at Findlay, where, just as we were about to close a trade, I received a letter from the patentee saying he had bargained to sell out all his right to one man, and requested me to return the papers at once, and not to make another sale under any circ.u.mstances.

I complied with his request. The next day we met on the streets of Findlay a gentleman having a sample band-cutter--an attachment for a two-tined fork, to be used when thres.h.i.+ng.

The man who pitched the bundles from the stack to the machine cut the bands on each bundle at the same time he pitched them. This had just been patented, and he was anxious to have us take the agency for the United States. We concluded to do so, and went to a lawyer's office and fixed up a Power of Attorney for the whole United States from him to me.

Profiting from my experience in losing a good sale, as just related, I had the following clause added: "This Power of Attorney is revocable upon thirty days notice from the said patentee."

The attorney then informed me that according to the United States laws we would be compelled to have our Power of Attorney recorded at Was.h.i.+ngton, D. C. We therefore sent it on for that purpose, with instructions to the Recorder to mail it to Fort Wayne, Ind., as soon as possible.

On our way back to Fort Wayne we stopped off at Lima one day, and at that place had our valise stolen from the depot. It contained all the s.h.i.+rts and collars and cuffs belonging to both of us, except those we had on, besides other articles of value to us.

This left us in hard luck, as we had only about money enough to buy each of us another s.h.i.+rt, a box of paper collars and cuffs, and some cheap socks upon arrival at Fort Wayne.

It was economy to wear paper, so as to lighten our laundry bills.

Another exceedingly bad feature of our loss was the absence of a piece of baggage to help convince the landlord of our responsibility.

However, we ventured to a very respectable hotel, where we engaged a first-cla.s.s room, and waited patiently for the return of our Power of Attorney from Was.h.i.+ngton. The landlord was a very pleasant, agreeable gentleman, quite suitable to our convenience. We made it as pleasant as possible for him. A stranger might easily have mistaken one of us for the proprietor and him for the guest.

By telling innumerable good stories, and constantly reminding him of his excellent qualities as a hotel-keeper, and the wide reputation he bore as such, we managed to "hold him down," as we termed it, very satisfactorily.

In the meantime we were constantly on the alert for some one who would like to speculate, so we could make a deal without delay, after the arrival of our papers from Was.h.i.+ngton. After being there about three days, we concluded to change s.h.i.+rts, which brought our new ones into requisition. We then sent the ones we took off to a washerwoman, a few doors away. These we left with her until obliged to make another change.

When that time came, three or four days later, we were at our wits' end to know how to get possession of the clean ones, as we were completely stranded.

We held a consultation, and almost every imaginable scheme suggested itself. At last we hit upon one that seemed feasible.

A bright young boot-black frequented the hotel corner, and had taken quite a fancy to us, and given us an occasional complimentary s.h.i.+ne.

We asked him to our room, and informing him that we had a great plot that needed his a.s.sistance, we required him to make an oath never to "give it away," nor to betray us in any way, shape, form or manner. He agreed to swear.

I then procured a Bible from the landlord, and "the kid," as we called him, placed his left hand on the Book, and raised his right, as I administered the oath.

He swore by all the G.o.ds in Israel, and all the people in Indiana, that he would be true to his trust.

Frank and I then took off our s.h.i.+rts, and wrapping them in paper, informed "the kid" of our predicament, and of the fact that we would be obliged to remain s.h.i.+rtless in our room while he took the bundle to the washerwoman and left them as security for the laundered, without money and without price.

We gave him special instructions, just how to manipulate matters in order to be successful.

He said: "Oh, what cher giv'n us? Don't yer s'pose I know how to 'fake de ole hen'?"

He scampered off, and returned very shortly with our laundry, when we hastened to make our toilet for the six o'clock dinner.

We expected our papers from Was.h.i.+ngton inside of ten days from the time we sent them. In this we were disappointed, and were compelled, to use "the kid" several times to carry out "de exchange act" "wid de ole hen,"

as he called it.

After repeating it several times, he came in one evening very much excited, and said:

"Yer can bet yer life it was by de skin o' my teeth I ever collar'd der wash dis time. De ole gal's gittin' dead on, an' says if de gemmen are such big-bugs dey better settle; but I gin' her a great song an' dance, an' squeared her up."

We asked if he had any idea she would stand another deal of that kind.

"Yer can bet I'll fix 'er," he replied.

Frank then said: "Well, you young rascal, you can bet you'd better 'fix 'er.' Don't you ever be guilty of leaving the dirty s.h.i.+rts unless you get the clean ones in their stead. If you ever come back here without any s.h.i.+rts, I'll throw you out this window, as sure as you're a live kid."

The next Sat.u.r.day, late in the afternoon, we called "the kid" in to do "the exchange act" again. We gave him some special instructions, desiring him to distinctly understand that it wouldn't be healthy for him to venture back to us without two s.h.i.+rts of some kind.

He didn't seem to have the same a.s.surance and confidence as usual, but said "he'd fix 'er." We remained in our room, sitting on the bed without s.h.i.+rts about the usual length of time, when, "the kid" not returning, we began to feel a little shaky.