Twenty Years of Hus'ling Part 66

I a.s.sured her that all I wanted was my pay, and I would never molest her again.

She then returned to the store and paid me the cash. I had just given her a receipt in full when her husband made his appearance and asked what she was doing.

She replied that I was Johnston, the proprietor of the wholesale jewelry house that he had been dealing with.

He turned to me and said:

"See here! I paid your agent for those goods when I bought them."

"Did you? Well, your wife has been kind enough to pay for them again, and I guess the receipt I just gave her is about the only one you can produce."

She then called her husband and myself to the adjoining room, and quickly turning to him, said very excitedly:

"See here, John. This man knows me, and knows that I committed larceny, and grand larceny at that, and was going to have me arres--"

"Larceny, did you say?" he interrupted, "what in ---- have _you_ been stealin'?"

"Well, I hain't _stole_ nothin', John; but you know I hain't got no divorce from Uriah," she answered.

"Oh, divorce be ----! you infernal fool. That's bigamy, you idiot; not larceny."

I then began to laugh, and said to him:

"Mr. ----, do you remember writing me a letter, once upon a time, telling me to go to the devil for that account, and that it would be a cold day when I got my pay; and I answered you, saying that I would some day catch you napping and get even with you?"

His wife saw her mistake at once, and looked and acted silly enough.

He ripped and tore and swore, and threatened to throw me out; but I told him he needn't be to that trouble, as I was ready to leave, and would go out alone.

The next hard case I had came up a few days later. We drove into Reed City, and soon learned that our customer had sold out three days before.

We then went to the hotel, and after putting our team out I began a search for my man, and was informed that he was carrying about two thousand dollars around in his pocket, and had refused to pay any one.

There were any number of creditors at the hotel, who had been trying to collect, but were not successful.

I called on the man who had bought him out, and was a.s.sured that he had paid him eighteen hundred dollars cash, and furthermore, that he carried that money in his pocket.

Half an hour later I met the delinquent, and said:

"How are you, Mr. ----? Come into the hotel and take a cigar."

He did so, and I said:

"It's too bad you have had such poor success. What are you going to do now?"

He looked very serious, and said he didn't know.

I then invited him up to my room, where I was going to fix up some trays of jewelry. He followed me, and as soon as we were inside I closed the door, locked it, put the key in my pocket, threw off my hat and coat, took out my watch, and holding it in my hand, said:

"Mr. ----, I'll give you just two minutes by my watch to pay me ninety-nine dollars, and if you don't do so within that time I'll not promise that there will be a grease-spot left of you when I get through.

I want you to distinctly understand that I am out on a collecting tour, and I mean money or blood; so now, sir, take your choice: either settle or the consequences; you have less than two minutes to decide in."

He turned pale, and became much excited and declared he hadn't a cent with him.

"Then it's your misfortune, sir. I'm going to 'do you up' or collect ninety-nine dollars right now, whether you have a cent with you or not; you deserve it anyhow."

"Johnston, what can I do?" said he.

"Settle; settle, of course; and you now have but one minute to do it in, and I'm not certain but it will be your last minute on earth if you don't."

"Well, Johnston, suppose I settle with you, will you agree not to let my other creditors know it?"

"No sir, I'll not agree to anything of the kind; on the contrary, I shall tell every one just how I brought you to terms, and you have but a half minute left."

He then produced a leather pocket-book filled with bills of large denomination, and counted me out ten ten-dollar bills.

I thanked him, and told him I'd just keep the extra dollar for interest, and then wrote him a receipt in full. He said he intended to pay me, anyhow. I told him I intended he should, and asked how he liked my system.

He looked foolish, and said he thought I'd come out winner, if I didn't get killed some day in trying to collect. He further said that he'd bet I'd run across some one some day who would give me a good trouncing.

I told him I had it all figured out that I could afford to take one good thres.h.i.+ng for every five dead beats, provided I could collect from the other four.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

CHAPTER x.x.xIV.

ANOTHER HORSE TRADE--A HEAVY LOSS--PLAYING DETECTIVE--MY VISIT HOME--A RETROSPECT--CALLING IN MY AGENTS--A NEW SCHEME--IT'S A WINNER--MR.

KEEFER AND MY MOTHER VISIT CHICAGO--HIS VERDICT, "IT DOES BEAT THE DEVIL."

We continued to travel by team, and my great stronghold was to collect bad debts, many of which I collected almost by force.

[Ill.u.s.tration: TRAVELING BY TANDEM TEAM.--PAGE 624.]

On this trip one of our horses became lame, and one morning just as we were ready to start out from the hotel a gentleman came driving up with a fine-looking span of horses, that, although appearing rather green and awkward, made a very handsome and stylish pair. He stopped near our carriage, and I inquired how old his horses were. He said four years. I asked:

"How will you trade teams with me?"

After looking my horses over carefully, and without leaving his carriage, he replied:

"For one hundred and twenty-five dollars to boot."

"All right, sir. Here is your money," and I counted it out and handed it over to him.

"But what sort of a team are you trading me?"

"No matter, sir. You have got your money, so unhitch, and I'll do the same."