The Inspector-General Part 12

SCENE VIII

Anna Andreyevna and Marya Antonovna.

ANNA. Oh, how charming he is!

MARYA. A perfect dear!

ANNA. Such refined manners. You can recognize the big city article at once. How he carries himself, and all that sort of thing! Exquisite! I'm just crazy for young men like him. I am in ecstasies--beside myself. He liked me very much though. I noticed he kept looking at me all the time.

MARYA. Oh, mamma, he looked at me.

ANNA. No more nonsense please. It's out of place now.

MARYA. But really, mamma, he did look at me.

ANNA. There you go! For G.o.d's sake, don't argue. You mustn't. That's enough. What would he be looking at you for? Please tell me, why would he be looking at you?

MARYA. It's true, mamma. He kept looking at me. He looked at me when he began to speak about literature and he looked at me afterwards, when he told about how he played whist with the amba.s.sadors.

ANNA. Well, maybe he looked at you once or twice and might have said to himself, "Oh, well, I'll give her a look."

SCENE IX

The same and the Governor.

GOVERNOR. Sh-s.h.!.+

ANNA. What is it?

GOVERNOR. I wish I hadn't given him so much to drink. Suppose even half of what he said is true? [Sunk in thought.] How can it not be true? A man in his cups is always on the surface. What's in his heart is on his tongue. Of course he fibbed a little. No talking is possible without some lying. He plays cards with the ministers and he visits the Court.

Upon my word the more you think the less you know what's going on in your head. I'm as dizzy as if I were standing in a belfry, or if I were going to be hanged, the devil take it!

ANNA. And I didn't feel the least bit afraid. I simply saw a high-toned, cultured man of the world, and his rank and t.i.tles didn't make me feel a bit queer.

GOVERNOR. Oh, well, you women. To say women and enough's said.

Everything is froth and bubble to you. All of a sudden you blab out words that don't make the least sense. The worst you'd get would be a flogging; but it means ruination to the husband.--Say, my dear, you are as familiar with him as if he were another Bobchinsky.

ANNA. Leave that to us. Don't bother about that. [Glancing at Marya.] We know a thing or two in that line.

GOVERNOR [to himself]. Oh, what's the good of talking to you! Confound it all! I can't get over my fright yet. [Opens the door and calls.]

Mishka, tell the sergeants, Svistunov and Derzhimorda, to come here.

They are near the gate. [After a pause of silence.] The world has turned into a queer place. If at least the people were visible so you could see them; but they are such a skinny, thin race. How in the world could you tell what he is? After all you can tell a military man; but when he wears a frock-coat, it's like a fly with clipped wings. He kept it up a long time in the inn, got off a lot of allegories and ambiguities so that you couldn't make out head or tail. Now he's shown himself up at last.--Spouted even more than necessary. It's evident that he's a young man.

SCENE X

The same and Osip. All rush to meet Osip, beckoning to him.

ANNA. Come here, my good man.

GOVERNOR. Hus.h.!.+ Tell me, tell me, is he asleep?

OSIP. No, not yet. He's stretching himself a little.

ANNA. What's your name?

OSIP. Osip, madam.

GOVERNOR [to his wife and daughter]. That'll do, that'll do. [To Osip.]

Well, friend, did they give you a good meal?

OSIP. Yes, sir, very good. Thank you kindly.

ANNA. Your master has lots of counts and princes visiting him, hasn't he?

OSIP [aside]. What shall I say? Seeing as they've given me such good feed now, I s'pose they'll do even better later. [Aloud.] Yes, counts do visit him.

MARYA. Osip, darling, isn't your master just grand?

ANNA. Osip, please tell me, how is he--

GOVERNOR. Do stop now. You just interfere with your silly talk. Well, friend, how--

ANNA. What is your master's rank?

OSIP. The usual rank.

GOVERNOR. For G.o.d's sake, your stupid questions keep a person from getting down to business. Tell me, friend, what sort of a man is your master? Is he strict? Does he rag and bully a fellow--you know what I mean--does he or doesn't he?

OSIP. Yes, he likes things to be just so. He insists on things being just so.

GOVERNOR. I like your face. You must be a fine man, friend. What--?

ANNA. Listen, Osip, does your master wear uniform in St. Petersburg?

GOVERNOR. Enough of your tattle now, really. This is a serious matter, a matter of life and death. (To Osip.) Yes, friend, I like you very much.

It's rather chilly now and when a man's travelling an extra gla.s.s of tea or so is rather welcome. So here's a couple of rubles for some tea.

OSIP [taking the money.] Thank you, much obliged to you, sir. G.o.d grant you health and long life. You've helped a poor man.

GOVERNOR. That's all right. I'm glad to do it. Now, friend--