The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter Part 7

The ocean trembles at their dreadful hiss; All are amaz'd: When in a Trojan dress; And holy wreaths their sacred temples bind, Laoc.o.o.n's sons were by the snakes entwin'd: Now t'wards heaven their little hands are thrown Each for his brother, not himself does moan, And prays to save his ruin by his own.

Both dye at last, thro' fear each other shou'd, And to give death a greater pomp, the good Laoc.o.o.n to their rescue vainly run, Now gorg'd with death, they drag him on the ground Up to the altar, where devoted lies The priest himself, a panting sacrifice.

Thus with his blood the temple they prophane; Losing their G.o.ds; Troy's ruin thus began: Now the bright taper of the night appears, Gayly attended with a train of stars: When midst the Trojans, dead in sleep and wine, The Grecians execute their dire design: When from the open'd caverns of the horse, Like a large flood, their hidden troops did gush; And now deliver'd, leave their horse and fear, With the same wanton motions colts appear: When from the plow, and heavy collar freed, They shake their rising crests, and try their speed.

Their swords they brandish, and their s.h.i.+elds they rear, And fix their helmets, then begin the war: A party here o' th' drunken Trojans light, And send them snoring to eternal night; Another there now made their altars smoke, And against Troy, Troy's guardian G.o.ds invoke."

When Eumolpus had gone thus far in his story, the people that were walking there, began to fling stones at him: But he, conscious of his merit, cover'd his head, and took up his heels: I, fearing they wou'd have taken me for a poet too, made after him: When we were out of stone shot of the enemy, "I beseech you, sir," said I, "what will you do with this disease of yours? I don't wonder at the peoples humour, since I have hardly been acquainted with you two hours, and your entertainment has been more poetry than the conversation of a man. I think I must fill my pocket with stones, that when I perceive you going into a fit, I may bleed you in the head for it, with one of 'em."

He turn'd to me, and, "Dear child," said he, "I rose to day without consulting my fortune; tho' 'tis confest I seldom appear even on the stage, but such a mobb as this are laughing at me: But that I may not be at difference with you too, I'll tye my self up from this humour of poetry:" "Well, well," said I, "on that condition I sup with you;"

upon which, going into the poor cottage I lodg'd at, we order'd the master of it to get us a supper, and in the mean time we went to the bagnio, where I saw Gito standing against the wall, with towels and rubbing brushes in his hand; his troubl'd countenance easily perswaded me he serv'd on compulsion: As soon as he saw me, with joy addressing himself, he told me, that since I was not in that martial posture that once frighted him to belye his affections, he cou'd freely speak to me, upon which he entreated me to pity his circ.u.mstances; and, if I cou'd but deliver him from so barbarous a master, since he was now sorry he was forc'd to be my judge, I might take my satisfaction in any punishment I'de please to inflict; "for," added he, "if I must dye, 'twill be comfort enough to so unhappy a wretch to think that you are pleas'd in 't."

I desir'd him wave his complaints, lest our design shou'd be discover'd, and leaving Eumolpus (for in the bath he was versifying) we made off thro' a dirty back-entry, as privately as we could to my lodgings: Where, shutting the door, I threw my arms about his neck, and, tho, he was all in tears, half smother'd him with kisses: Thus we continu'd without a word from either side: Gito's repeated sobs so disturb'd him, he could not speak: When after a long time spent in that posture, "how unaccountable is it," began I, "to love him that once forsook me! And that in this breast I shou'd feel so great a wound, yet have no sign of its being there! what's you' pretence for chusing Ascyltos? Have I deserv'd such usage?"

After he found I still had love for him, he began to look less concerned: "When," added I, "I'm so far from desireing an umpire to judge of th' ingrat.i.tude of your choice, that I neither complain of, or design to remember it; if I find you sincere."

I cou'd not tell him this without a tear: When, wiping his face, says he, "Encolpius, I appeal to your memory, whether I left, you, or you betray'd me. I must confess, and hope you can't blame me; when I saw two at daggers-drawing, that I ran to the strongest."

I cou'd not but admire his wit, and to convince him of a perfect reconciliation, sealed it with repeated kisses.

'Twas now quite dark, and our supper was dis.h.i.+ng up, when Eumolpus knock'd at the door: I ask'd how many there was of 'em: And took an opportunity through a c.h.i.n.k, to see whether Ascyltos was with him: But finding him alone, I soon open'd the door: He had hardly fixt himself on his couch, when seeing Gito in waiting, "on my word," said he, "a very Gannymed; sure Encolpius, you'll have no reason to complain to day."

I did not like to observing an entry; and was afraid I had entertain'd another Ascyltos. Eumolpus pursuing his humour, when the boy fill'd him a gla.s.s, "I had rather," said he, "be in possession of thee, than the whole bagnio"; and greedily drinking it off, "the heat I've been in," added he, "made this the pleasantest draught I ever took: For to deal freely with ye, I narrowly scap'd a beating, for attempting, when I was in the bath, to deliver my thoughts of it in verse: And after I was turn'd out of the bagnio, as I us'd to be out of the theatre; I search'd every place, crying as loud as I cou'd, 'Encolpius, Encolpius.' A naked youth that had lost his cloaths, as strongly echo'd back to me, 'Gito, Gito': The boys, believing me mad, ridicul'd me with their mimikry: But the other was attended with a great concourse of people, that with an awful admiration prais'd the youth: For nature had so largely qualify'd him for a lover, his body seem'd but as the skirt of the mighty member it bore: A l.u.s.ty rogue! I'll warrant, he'd maintain the field four and twenty hours! He therefore soon found relief, for some debauch'd spark, a Roman knight, as was reported, flung his cloak over him, and took him home, with hopes, I presume to engross so great a prize: But I was so far from meeting such civility, that even my own cloaths were kept from me, till I brought one that knew me, to satisfie 'em in my character: So much more profitable 'tis to improve the body than the mind."

Whilst Eumolpus was telling his story, I often chang'd countenance: Looking glad at the ill fortune of my rival, but troubled at his good: yet did not interrupt him, lest he shou'd discover my concern: and when he had done, I told him what we had for supper.

I had hardly given him an account, e're our entertainment came in: 'Twas common homely food, but very nouris.h.i.+ng: Our half starv'd doctor attacqu'd it very briskly, but when he had well fill'd himself, began to tell us, philosophers were above the world, and to ridicule those that condemn every thing, because 'tis common, and only to admire those things that are difficult to be had: "These vicious appet.i.tes,"

added he, "that despise what they can cheaply come by, never taste any thing pure, but, like sick men, love only those things that are hurtful to 'em.

"What's soon obtain'd, we nauseously receive, All hate the victory that's got with leave: We scorn the good our happy isle brings forth, But love whatever is of foreign growth: Not that the fish that distant waters feed, Do those excel that in our climate breed; But these are cheaply taken, those came far, With difficulty got, and cost us dear: Thus the kind she, abroad, we admire above Th' insipid lump, at home of lawful love: Yet once enjoy'd, we strait a new desire, And absent pleasures only do admire."

"Is this," said I, interrupting him, "what you promis'd, that you wou'd not versifie to day agen? I beseech you, sir, at least spare us that never pelted you: For if any of the inn shou'd find we have a poet in our company, the whole neighbourhood wou'd be rais'd, and we shou'd dye martyrs for a wrong opinion: If nothing else will make you pity us, think of the galery and bath you came from": when I had treated him after this rate, the good natur'd Gito, correcting me, said, I did very ill to rail at a man so much my elder; and that having offer'd a gentleman the curtsie of my table, I shou'd not so far forget good breeding, to affront him when he came: With many the like expressions, attended with a blush at their delivery, that extreamly became him.

"Happy the woman," said Eumolpus, "that's blest with such a son!

Heaven encrease your virtue: so much sense, and so much beauty we seldom meet with in any one person: But, lest you shou'd think your civility thrown away, you have found a lover for it: I'll give the world your praises in verse: I'll be your servant, your gardian, and will follow you every where: Nor can Encolpius think himself injur'd, he loves another."

Eumolpus was oblig'd to the souldier that robb'd me of my sword, else I had turn'd the fury upon him I meant for Ascyltos: Gito reading it in my countenance, under pretence of fetching water, prudently withdrew: And allay'd my heat, by removing one cause of it: But my rage reviving, "Eumolpus," said I, "I had rather have heard even your verses, that you propose to your self such hopes: I am very pa.s.sionate, and you are very l.u.s.tful: Consider how improbable 'tis we shou'd agree; believe therefore I am mad, and humour the phrenzy; that is, be gone immediately."

At this Eumolpus was in great confusion, and, without asking the occasion of my pa.s.sion, presently made out: But drawing the door after him, what I did not in the least suspect, he lock'd me in, and stealing the key out of the door, ran in pursuit of Gito.

The rage I was in to be so abus'd, put me upon hanging my self; and having ty'd an ap.r.o.n, I found in the room, to the bed-stead, committed my neck to the noose I had made with its strings: When Eumolpus and Gito came to the door, and entering, prevented my design: Gito, his grief growing to a rage, made a great out-cry, and forcing me on the bed, "You're mistaken," said he, "Encolpius, if you fancy it possible for you to dye before me: I was first in the design, and had not surviv'd my choice of Ascyltos; if I had met with an instrument of death: But had not you come to my relief in the bath, I had resolv'd to throw my self out of the window: And that you may know how ready death is to wait those that desire it: see--I've got what you so lately endeavour'd."

Upon which, having s.n.a.t.c.h'd a rasor from Eumolpus's servant, he struck three or four times 't his throat, and fell down before us: frightened at the accident, I cry'd out, and falling upon him e're he had reached the ground, with the same weapon, endeavoured to follow him: But neither had Gito any appearance of a wound, nor did I feel my self hurt: For it happen'd to be a dull rasor, design'dly made so, to prepare learners of the art to handle a sharper which was the reason Eumolpus did not offer to prevent our mimick deaths, nor his man look concern'd when the rasor was s.n.a.t.c.h'd from him.

While this scene was acting, the inn-keeper came in upon us, with the other part of our supper; and viewing the obscene posture we were in, "I beseech you, sirs," said he, "are ye drunk, or have fled justice, and are acting it on your selves, or both? ho! who was going to make a gibet of the bed? What private designs are here on foot? What--was your going out but now with intent to bilke me? But you shall feel fo't: I'll soon make ye know who rules here."

"What, you rascal," crys Eumolpus, "do you threat too?" And without more ado flung his fist in his face: The inn-keeper took up an earthen pitcher we so oft had empty'd, and sending it at Eumolpus, broke his forehead, and immediately ran down stairs: Eumolpus, impatient of revenge, s.n.a.t.c.hing up a great wooden candlestick, made after him; and pouring his blows very thick on the inn-keeper, repair'd the injury with interest: This alarm'd the whole house, and whilst the rest of his guess, that by this time were most of 'em drunk; ran to see what was the matter, taking an opportunity to revenge the injury Eumolpus had offer'd me, I lock'd him out; and turning thus his trick upon himself, at once, enjoy'd the bed and board without a rival.

In the mean time, the islanders (that came in at the bustle) and cooks with all their kitchin artillery set upon Eumolpus: One throws at his head a hot spit with the meat on't; another with a pitchfork puts himself in a martial posture against him; but especially a blear-ey'd old woman, who tucking up the dirty ap.r.o.n she had about her, with one shoe on, and another off, hall'd a great mastiff and set him at Eumolpus: But with the wooden candlestick he defended himself against all his enemies.

We saw all through a hole they had made by wrenching the latch from the door: I wish'd him well you may imagine; but Gito had compa.s.sion and wou'd have succour'd the distrest Eumolpus; upon which, my rage continuing, I gave his pitying head two or three blows with my fist; he sate down on the bed and cry'd: but I so eagerly ply'd the hole, I made my eyes relieve each other; and, encouraging the people against him, with great satisfaction beheld the conflict: when the bailiff of the island, one Bargates, whom the scuffle had rais'd from supper; was brought into the room, supported by others legs, for he was troubl'd with the gout, he cou'd not use his own: And having in his clownish manner, with a great deal of heat, made a long harangue against drunkards and vagabonds, looking on Eumolpus, "ha! what is it you,"

says he, "the excellent poet? What--has these rogues been abusing you all this while?" At what time he goes up to Eumolpus, and in a whisper, "I have a maid," says he, "that flouts at me when I ask her the question; prithee, if you have any love for me, abuse her in a copy of verses till she's ashamed of her self."

While Eumolpus was thus ingag'd with Bargates, the cryer of the town, and some other officer, attended with a great concourse of people, entred the inn; and, shaking a smoaky rather than lighted torch he carried, mouths out this; viz.

NOT LONG AGO, RUN AWAY FROM THE BATH, A VERY PRETTY BOY, WITH CURL'D HAIR, BY NAME, GITO.

IF ANY MAN, OR WOMAN, IN CITY, OR COUNTRY CAN TELL TALE OR TIDINGS OF HIM, SHALL HAVE FOR HIS REWARD 1000 SESTERCES.

Not far from the cryer, stood Ascyltos, clad with a coat of many colours; who, to incourage any discoverer, held the reward in a silver charger before him.

Upon this, I order'd Gito to steal under the bed, and thrust his feet and hands through the cords that, as Ulysses formerly hid in a sheeps hide, so extended he might cheat the searchers.

Gito immediately obey'd the motion, and fixing himself, as I directed, out-did Ulysses in his native art: But, that I might leave no room for suspicion, I so disposed the bed-cloaths, that none could believe more than my self had lain there.

We had just done, when Ascyltos, with a beadle, having search'd the other chambers, came to ours, which gave him greater hopes, because he found the door so barr'd: But the petty officer he brought, with an iron crow, forc'd it open.

Upon Ascyltos's entry, I threw my self at his feet, and beseech'd him, if he had any memory of our past friends.h.i.+p; or any respect for one that had shar'd misfortunes with him, he wou'd at least let me see the still dear Gito: And to give my sham-intreaties a better colour, "I see," says I, "Ascyltos, you are come with designs on my life; for to what other end could you bring those ministers of justice? Therefore satisfie your rage, behold my naked bosom, let out that blood, which, under pretence of a search, you come to seek."

Ascyltos, now laying aside his old grudge to me; profess'd he came in pursuit of nothing but Gito, that had run from him; nor desir'd the death of any man, much more of one that falls before him; and whom, after a fatal quarrel with him, he held most dear.

The petty officer was not so easie to me, for taking a stick out of the inn-keeper's hand, he felt under the bed with it, and run it into every hole he found in the wall: Gito drew his body out of the stick's way, and, breathing as gently as fear cou'd make him, held his mouth close to the cords.

They were hardly gone, e're Eumolpus bounc'd in upon us, for the broken door cou'd stop n.o.body, and, in a great heat, cry'd out, "I'll earn the reward: I'll make after the Cryer, and let him know how soon Gito may be in his custody."

Eumolpus pursuing his design, I kist his knees, and intreated him not to antic.i.p.ate the end of dying men; "you wou'd be justly angry," added I, "if you shou'd discover to 'em how you are deceiv'd: The boy run into the crowd undiscovered, and where he is gone, my self can't suspect. I beseech you, Eumolpus, bring back the boy, or at least restore him even to Ascyltos."

Just as I had worked him to a belief, Gito, with restraining his breath, snees'd thrice so thoroughly, that he shook the bed; at which Eumolpus, turning about, saluted him with, "G.o.d bless you, sir;" and, taking the bedding aside, saw the little Ulysses, who might have raised compa.s.sion, even in a blood-thirsty Cyclops: then looking upon me, "Thou villain," says he, "how have you shamm'd me? Durst you not tell truth, even when you was catch'd in a roguery? If some G.o.d, that has the care of humane affairs, had not forc'd the boy to discover himself, I had wander'd in search of him to a fine purpose." But Gito, that cou'd fawn much better than I, took a cobweb dipt in oyl, and apply'd to the wound in his forehead: And changing his torn coat for his own mantle, imbrac'd the now reconcil'd Eumolpus, and stuck to his lips: at last he spoke, and, "Our lives," said he, "most indulgent father, our lives are in your power; if you love your Gito, convince him that you do, by preserving him: O! could I now meet a grave in flames or waves, that I, the only cause of all, might end your quarrels."

Eumolpus, concern'd at our grief, and particularly mindful of Gito's tenderness to him; "surely," says he, "y'are the greatest of fools, who have souls enrich'd with virtues, that may make ye happy, yet live a continu'd martyrdom, raising to your selves every day new occasions of grief; I, wherever I am, make my life as pleasant and free from trouble, as if I expected no more of it: If you'll imitate me, never let cares disturb your quiet. And to avoid Ascyltos that haunts ye in these parts, I am taking a voyage to a foreign country, and shou'd be glad of your company: I believe to morrow night I shall go on board the vessel: I am very well known there, and you need not doubt of a civil entertainment."

His advice appear'd to me both wise and profitable; for at once it deliver'd me from Ascyltos, and gave me hopes of living more happy: Thus oblig'd by Eumolpus's good nature, I was sorry for the late injury I had done him, and began to repent I appear'd his rival, since it had occasion'd so many disasters.

At last, with tears, I beseech'd him to be friends with me too, for that it was not in a rival's power to bound his rage; yet, that I wou'd try neither to say, or do any thing that may offend him: and hop'd so wise and good a man as he, wou'd leave in his mind no sign of a former quarrel: for 'twas with men as with countrys, on rude neglected grounds snows lay very long, but where the fruitful earth was improv'd by culture, they presently melt off, and hardly leave a print behind: Thus unfas.h.i.+on'd minds can't discharge their pa.s.sions suddenly, but where souls are inrich'd with instruction, they but appear and vanish.

"And to confirm the truth of what you say," return'd Eumolpus, "all my heat expires in this kiss; but, to prevent the designs of your enemies, hasten with your wallets, and either follow me, or, if ye like it, act the leaders."

He had not done speaking, when, hearing the door move, we turn'd about, and saw a seaman, with a beard that made him appear terribly grim: who saluted Eumolpus with a "Why dy'e stay, as if you did not know how near the time 'twas?"

All immediately prepared for the march, Eumolpus loads his servants, who had been all this while asleep; I, and Gito, pack'd our things together, and, thanking our stars, enter'd the vessel.

We fixt our selves, as much out of the way as we could, under deck: and it being not yet day, Eumolpus fell a-sleep: I, and Gito, cou'd not take a wink: when reflecting afresh, that I had harbour'd in my acquaintance, a rival more powerful than Ascyltos; I began to be much troubled: but wisely allaying my grief, I thus reason'd with my self: Is it so troublesom to share what we love? when the best of nature's works are in common? The sun throws his rays on all. The moon, with her infinite train of stars, serves to light even beasts to their fodder: What below can boast an excellence of nature above the waters?

Yet they flow in publick for the use of all: only love seems sweeter stol'n than when it's given us: so it is, we esteem nothing, unless 'tis envy'd by others; but what have I to fear in a rival, that age and impotence conspire to render disagreeable? Who, when he has an inclination, his body jades under him before he can reach the goal.

When I had cheated my self with this a.s.surance, I m.u.f.fled my head in my coat, and feign'd my self asleep: but on a sudden, as if fortune had resolv'd to ruin my quiet; I heard one above deck groaning out: "And has he scorn'd me?" This struck me with a trembling, for it was a man's voice, and one I was afraid I knew: but at a greater distance, with the same heat, I heard a woman lamenting: "O that some G.o.d," said she, "wou'd bring my Gito to my arms; tho' he banish'd himself thence; how kindly wou'd I receive him!"

So unexpected a thing drove the colour from our cheeks; I especially, as in a trance, was a long time speechless; when, trembling with fear, I pull'd Eumolpus by the coat, who was now asleep; and "I beseech you, father," said I, "do you know the owner of this vessel, or who the pa.s.sengers are?" He was very angry to be disturbed: "And was it for this reason," said he, "that we chose the most private place in the s.h.i.+p; that none but your self might disturb us: or what will it signifie if I tell you, that one Lycas a Tarentine owns her, and is carrying one Tryphna to Tarentum?"

For a while I stood like one thunder-struck, when opening my bosom, I trembling, cry'd out; "At last, Fortune, you have ruin'd every part of me:" for Gito, my better half, lean'd on my breast, as if he had breath'd his last: when our sweating through fear, had a little recover'd our spirits: I fell at Eumolpus feet, and intreated him to have compa.s.sion of two dying wretches: that is, to a.s.sist us in the means of escaping the impending mischief: "Tho' death," I added, "wou'd be more grateful to us, if the happiness of enjoying you, did not make us envy life."

Eumolpus was glad to serve us, and swore by all that's sacred, he was privy to no design against us; and that he had very innocently brought us. .h.i.ther, for no other end, than for our company, having hir'd the vessel before he was acquainted with us: "But what designs on your lives are here?" added he, "Or have we a pyrate Hannibal on board?"

"Lycas," continued he, "a very honourable man, is not only master and owner of this vessel, but of a good estate, and having inclinations to traffick, freights his vessel himself: Is this the terrible Cyclops?