Dandy Dick Part 11

SHEBA.

No Aunt Tidman flickers a smile at me!

SALOME.

I wouldn't be in her shoes for something!

SHEBA.

Salt in her bed, Salome!

SALOME.

Yes, and the peg out of the rattling window!

[_They grip hands earnestly._

THE DEAN.

Good gracious! Bless me! Girls, your Aunt Georgiana slept at the "Wheatsheaf," at Durnstone, last night, and is coming on this morning!

SALOME _and_ SHEBA.

To-day!

THE DEAN.

Blore, tell Willis to get the chaise out.

[_BLORE hurries out._

THE DEAN.

Salome, child, you and I will drive into Durnstone--we may be in time to bring your Aunt over. My hat, Sheba! Quick! [_The clang of the gate bell is heard in the distance._] The bell! [_Looking out of window._]

No--yes--it can't be! [_Speaking in an altered voice._] Children! I wonder if this is your Aunt Georgiana?

[_BLORE appears with a half-frightened, surprised look._

BLORE.

Mrs. Tidman.

_GEORGIANA TIDMAN enters. She is a jovial, noisy woman, very "horsey"

in manners and appearance, and dressed in p.r.o.nounced masculine style, with billy c.o.c.k hat and coaching coat. The girls cling to each other; THE DEAN recoils._

GEORGIANA.

Well, Gus, my boy, how are you?

THE DEAN.

[_Shocked._] Georgiana!

GEORGIANA.

[_Patting THE DEAN'S cheeks._] You're putting on too much flesh, Augustin; they should give you a ten-miler daily in a blanket.

THE DEAN.

[_With dignity._] My dear sister!

GEORGIANA.

Are these your two-year-olds? [_To SALOME._] Kiss your Aunt! [_She kisses SALOME with a good hearty smack._] [_To SHEBA._] Kiss your Aunt! [_She embraces SHEBA, then stands between the two girls and surveys them critically, touching them alternately with the end of her cane._] Lord bless you both! What names do you run under?

SALOME.

I--I am Salome.

SHEBA.

I am Sheba.

GEORGIANA.

[_Looking at SHEBA._] Why, little 'un, your stable companion could give you a stone and then get her nose in front!

THE DEAN.

[_Who has been impatiently fuming._] Georgiana, I fear these poor innocents don't follow your well-intentioned but inappropriate ill.u.s.trations.

GEORGIANA.

Oh, we'll soon wake 'em up. Well, Augustin, my boy, it's nearly twenty years since you and I munched our corn together.

THE DEAN.

Our estrangement has been painfully prolonged.

GEORGIANA.

Since then we've both run many races, though we've never met in the same events. The world has ridden us both pretty hard at times, Gus, hasn't it? We've been punished and pulled and led down pretty often, but here we are [_tapping him sharply in the chest with her cane_]

sound in the wind yet. You're doing well, Gus, and they say you're going up the hill neck-and-neck with your Bishop. I've dropped out of it--the mares don't last, Gus--and it's good and kind of you to give me a dry stable and a clean litter, and to keep me out of the shafts of a "Shrewsbury and Talbot."

SHEBA.

[_In a whisper to SALOME._] Salome, I don't quite understand her--but I like Aunt.

SALOME.