Dandy Dick Part 34

SHEBA.

You curl your lip better than I--I'll dilate my nostrils.

[_SALOME draws aside the curtain. TARVER and DARBEY enter. They are both very badly and shabbily dressed as Cavaliers._

TARVER.

[_A most miserable object, carrying a carriage umbrella._] Oh, don't reproach us, Miss Jedd. It isn't our fault that the Military were summoned to St. Marvells.

DARBEY.

You don't blame officers and gentlemen for responding to the sacred call of duty?

SHEBA.

We blame officers for subjecting two motherless girls to the shock of alighting at the Durnstone Athenaeum to find a notice on the front door: "Ball knocked on the head--Vivat Regina."

SALOME.

We blame gentlemen for inflicting upon us the unspeakable agony of being jeered at by boys.

TARVER.

I took the address of the boy who suggested that we should call again on the fifth of November. It is on the back of your admission card.

DARBEY.

Everything will be done. We shall both wait on the boy's mother for an explanation.

TARVER.

Oh, smile on us once again, Miss Jedd--a forced, hollow smile, if you will--only smile. Salome!

_GEORGIANA enters._

GEORGIANA.

Salome! Sheba!

SALOME _and_ SHEBA.

Aunt!

GEORGIANA.

You bad girls!

SALOME.

[_Weeping._] No, Aunt, no!

SHEBA.

Not bad. Aunt--trustful and confiding.

GEORGIANA.

[_Advancing to TARVER._] How dare you encourage these two simple children to enjoy themselves! How dare you take them out--without their Aunt! Do you think _I_ can't keep a thing quiet?

SHEBA.

They didn't even ask Papa's permission!

SALOME.

Poor Papa!

SHEBA.

Poor, dear Papa!

GEORGIANA.

[_Shaking TARVER._] I'm speaking to you--Field-Marshal.

TARVER.

Madam, you are addressing an invalid.

DARBEY.

We shall be happy to receive your representative in the morning. At present we are on duty.

TARVER.

On heavy duty.

DARBEY.

Guarding the ruins of the "Swan" Inn. You mustn't distract our attention.

GEORGIANA.

Guarding the ruins of the "Swan," are you? [_Calling._] Tris! Sir Tristram! [_SIR TRISTRAM appears._] Tris, I'm a feeble woman, but I hope I've a keen sense of right and wrong. Run these outsiders into the road, and let them guard their own ruins.

[_SALOME and SHEBA shriek, and throw themselves at the feet of TARVER and DARBEY. clinging to their legs._

SALOME.