Dandy Dick Part 58

THE DEAN.

[_To NOAH._] I trust you are perfectly satisfied.

NOAH.

[_Wiping his brow and looking puzzled._] I'm doon.

THE DEAN.

Don't trouble further. I withdraw unreservedly any charge against this unknown person found on my premises last night. I attribute to him the most innocent intentions. Hannah, you and your worthy husband will stay and dine in my kitchen. Good afternoon.

NOAH.

Is it a 'ot dinner?

THE DEAN.

Hot--with ale.

NOAH.

[_Turning angrily to HANNAH._] Now then, you don't know a real gentleman when you see one. Why don't 'ee thank the Dean warmly?

HANNAH.

[_Kissing THE DEAN'S hands with a curtsey._] Thank you, sir.

THE DEAN.

[_Benignly._] Go--go. I take a kindly interest in you both.

[_They back out, bowing and curtseying._

GEORGIANA.

Well, Gus, you're out of all your troubles. Are you happy?

THE DEAN.

Happy! My family influence gone forever--my dignity crushed out of all recognition--the genial summer of the Deanery frosted by the winter of Deceit.

GEORGIANA.

Ah, Gus, when once you lay the whip about the withers of the horse called Deception he takes the bit between his teeth, and only the devil can stop him--and he'd rather not. Shall I tell you who has been riding the horse hardest?

THE DEAN.

Who?

GEORGIANA.

The Dean.

THE DEAN.

Georgiana! I'm surprised at you.

[_SHEBA sits at the piano and plays a bright air softly--DARBEY standing behind her--SALOME and TARVER stand in the archway._

GEORGIANA.

[_Slapping THE DEAN on the back._] Look here, Augustin, George Tidd will lend you that thousand for the poor, innocent old Spire.

THE DEAN.

[_Taking her hand._] Oh, Georgiana!

GEORGIANA.

On one condition--that you'll admit there's no harm in our laughing at a Sporting Dean.

THE DEAN.

No, no--I cannot allow it!

GEORGIANA.

Tris! My brother Gus doesn't want us to be merry at his expense.

[_They both laugh._

THE DEAN.

[_Trying to silence them._] No, no! I forbid it! Hus.h.!.+

SIR TRISTRAM.

Why, Jedd, there's no harm in laughter, for those who laugh or those who are laughed at.

GEORGIANA.

Provided always--firstly, that it is Folly that is laughed at and not Virtue; secondly, that it is our friends who laugh at us, [_to the audience_] as we hope they all will, for our pains.

THE END