A Nonsense Anthology Part 25

MALUM OPUS

Prope ripam fluvii solus A senex silently sat; Super capitum ecce his wig, Et wig super, ecce his hat.

Blew Zephyrus alte, acerbus, Dum elderly gentleman sat; Et a capite took up quite torve Et in rivum projecit his hat.

Tunc soft maledixit the old man, Tunc stooped from the bank where he sat Et c.u.m scipio poked in the water, Conatus servare his hat.

Blew Zephyrus alte, acerbus, The moment it saw him at that; Et whisked his novum scratch wig In flumen, along with his hat.

Ab imo pectore d.a.m.navit In coeruleus eye dolor sat; Tunc despairingly threw in his cane Nare c.u.m his wig and his hat.

L'ENVOI

Contra bonos mores, don't swear It 'est wicked you know (verb.u.m sat), Si this tale habet no other moral Mehercle! You're gratus to that!

_James Appleton Morgan_.

_aeSTIVATION_

In candent ire the solar splendor flames; The foles, languescent, pend from arid rames; His humid front the cive, anheling, wipes, And dreams of erring on ventiferous ripes.

How dulce to vive occult to mortal eyes, Dorm on the herb with none to supervise, Carp the suave berries from the crescent vine, And bibe the flow from longicaudate kine.

To me also, no verdurous visions come Save you exiguous pool's confervasc.u.m,-- No concave vast repeats the tender hue That laves my milk-jug with celestial blue.

Me wretched! Let me curr to quercine shades!

Effund your albid hausts, lactiferous maids!

Oh, might I vole to some umbrageous chump,-- Depart,--be off,--excede,--evade,--erump!

_O. W. Holmes_.

A HOLIDAY TASK

_Air--Jullien's Polka_

Qui nunc dancere vult modo Wants to dance in the fas.h.i.+on, oh!

Discere debet--ought to know, Kickere floor c.u.m heel et toe One, two three, Hop with me, Whirligig, twirligig, rapide.

Polkam jungere, Virgo, vis, Will you join the Polka, Miss?

Liberius--most willingly.

Sic agimus--then let us try: Nunc vide Skip with me, Whirlabout, roundabout, celere.

Tum laeva cit, tum dextra First to the left, and then t' other way; Aspice retr in vultu, You look at her, and she looks at you.

Das palmam, Change hands ma'am Celere--run away, just in sham.

_Gilbert Abbott a Becket_.

PUER EX JERSEY

Puer ex Jersey Iens ad school; Vidit in meadow, Infestum mule.

Ille approaches O magnus sorrow!

Puer it skyward.

Funus ad morrow.

MORAL

Qui vidit a thing Non ei well-known, Est bene for him Relinqui id alone.

_Anonymous_.

THE LITTLE PEACH

Une pet.i.te peche dans un orchard fleurit, Attendez a mon narration triste!

Une pet.i.te peche verdante fleurit.

Grace a chaleur de soleil, et moisture de miste.

Il fleurit, il fleurit, Attendez a mon narration triste!

Signes dures pour les deux, Pet.i.t Jean et sa soeur Sue, Et la peche d'une verdante hue, Qui fleurit, qui fleurit, Attendez a mon narration triste!

_Anonymous_.

_MONSIEUR McGINTe_

Monsieur McGinte allait en has jusqu'an fond du mer, Ils ne l'ont pas encore trouve Je crois qu'il est certainement mouille.

Monsieur McGinte, je le repete, allait jusqu'au fond du mer, Habille dans sa meilleure costume.

_Anonymous_.