A Nonsense Anthology Part 38

THE d.i.n.kEY-BIRD

In an ocean, 'way out yonder (As all sapient people know), Is the land of Wonder-Wander, Whither children love to go; It's their playing, romping, swinging, That give great joy to me While the d.i.n.key-Bird goes singing In the Amfalula-tree!

There the gum-drops grow like cherries, And taffy's thick as peas,-- Caramels you pick like berries When, and where, and how you please: Big red sugar-plums are clinging To the cliffs beside that sea Where the d.i.n.key-Bird is singing In the Amfalula-tree.

So when children shout and scamper And make merry all the day, When there's naught to put a damper To the ardor of their play; When I hear their laughter ringing, Then I'm sure as sure can be That the d.i.n.key-Bird is singing In the Amfalula-tree.

For the d.i.n.key-Bird's bravuras And staccatos are so sweet-- His roulades, appogiaturas, And robustos so complete, That the youth of every nation-- Be they near or far away-- Have especial delectation In that gladsome roundelay.

Their eyes grow bright and brighter, Their lungs begin to crow, Their hearts get light and lighter, And their cheeks are all aglow; For an echo cometh bringing The news to all and me.

That the d.i.n.key-Bird is singing In the Amfalula-tree.

I'm sure you'd like to go there To see your feathered friend-- And so many goodies grow there You would like to comprehend!

_Speed, little dreams, your winging To that land across the sea Where the d.i.c.key-Bird is singing In the Amfalula-Tree_!

_Eugene Field_.

THE MAN IN THE MOON

Said the Raggedy Man on a hot afternoon, "My!

Sakes!

What a lot o' mistakes Some little folks makes on the Man in the Moon!

But people that's been up to see him like Me, And calls on him frequent and intimutly, Might drop a few hints that would interest you Clean!

Through!

If you wanted 'em to-- Some actual facts that might interest you!"

"O the Man in the Moon has a crick in his back; Whee!

Whimm!

Ain't you sorry for him?

And a mole on his nose that is purple and black; And his eyes are so weak that they water and run If he dares to _dream_ even he looks at the sun,-- So he jes' dreams of stars, as the doctors advise-- My!

Eyes!

But isn't he wise-- To jes' dream of stars, as the doctors advise?"

"And the Man in the Moon has a boil on his ear-- Whee!

Whing!

What a singular thing!

I know! but these facts are authentic, my dear,-- There's a boil on his ear; and a corn on his chin,-- He calls it a dimple,--but dimples stick in,-- Yet it might be a dimple turned over, you know!

Whang!

Ho!

Why certainly so!-- It might be a dimple turned over, you know!"

"And the Man in the Moon has a rheumatic knee, Gee!

Whizz!

What a pity that is!

And his toes have worked round where his heels ought to be.

So whenever he wants to go North he goes South, And comes back with the porridge crumbs all round his mouth, And he brushes them off with a j.a.panese fan, Whing!

Whann!

What a marvellous man!

What a very remarkably marvellous man!"

"And the Man in the Moon," sighed the Raggedy Man, "Gits!

So!

Sullonesome, you know!

Up there by himself since creation began!-- That when I call on him and then come away, He grabs me and holds me and begs me to stay,-- Till--well, if it wasn't for _Jimmy-c.u.m-Jim_, Dadd!

Limb!

I'd go pardners with him!

Jes' jump my bob here and be pardners with him!"

_James Whitcomb Riley_.

THE STORY OF THE WILD HUNTSMAN

This is the Wild Huntsman that shoots the hares; With the gra.s.s-green coat he always wears; With game-bag, powder-horn and gun, He's going out to have some fun.

He finds it hard without a pair Of spectacles, to shoot the hare.

He put his spectacles upon his nose, and said, "Now I will shoot the hares and kill them dead."

The hare sits snug in leaves and gra.s.s, And laughs to see the green man pa.s.s.

Now as the sun grew very hot, And he a heavy gun had got, He lay down underneath a tree And went to sleep as you may see.

And, while he slept like any top, The little hare came, hop, hop, hop,-- Took gun and spectacles, and then Softly on tiptoe went off again.

The green man wakes, and sees her place The spectacles upon her face.

She pointed the gun at the hunter's heart, Who jumped up at once with a start.

He cries, and screams, and runs away.

"Help me, good people, help! I pray."

At last he stumbled at the well, Head over ears, and in he fell.

The hare stopped short, took aim, and hark!

Bang went the gun!--she missed her mark!

The poor man's wife was drinking up Her coffee in her coffee-cup; The gun shot cup and saucer through; "Oh dear!" cried she, "what shall I do?"

Hiding close by the cottage there, Was the hare's own child, the little hare.

When he heard the shot he quickly arose, And while he stood upon his toes, The coffee fell and burned his nose; "Oh dear," he cried, "what burns me so?"

And held up the spoon with his little toe.

_Dr. Heinrich Hoffman_.

THE STORY OF PYRAMID THOTHMES

Thothmes, who loved a pyramid, And dreamed of wonders that it hid, Took up again one afternoon, His longest staff, his sandal shoon, His evening meal, his pilgrim flask, And set himself at length the task, Scorning the smaller and the small, To climb the highest one of all.

The sun was very hot indeed, Yet Thothmes never slacked his speed Until upon the topmost stone He lightly sat him down alone To make himself some pleasant cheer And turned to take his flask of beer, For he was weary and athirst.