A Nonsense Anthology Part 43

_D' Arcy W. Thompson_.

THE SEA-SERPENT

All bones but yours will rattle when I say I'm the sea-serpent from America.

Mayhap you've heard that I've been round the world; I guess I'm round it now, Mister, twice curled.

Of all the monsters through the deep that splash, I'm "number one" to all immortal smash.

When I lie down and would my length unroll, There ar'n't half room enough 'twixt pole and pole.

In short, I grow so long that I've a notion I must be measured soon for a new ocean.

_Planche_.

MELANCHOLIA

I am a peevish student, I; My star is gone from yonder sky.

I think it went so high at first That it just went and gone and burst.

_Anonymous_.

THE MONKEY'S WEDDING

The monkey married the Baboon's sister, Smacked his lips and then he kissed her, He kissed so hard he raised a blister.

She set up a yell.

The bridesmaid stuck on some court plaster, It stuck so fast it couldn't stick faster, Surely 't was a sad disaster, But it soon got well.

What do you think the bride was dressed in?

White gauze veil and a green gla.s.s breast-pin, Red kid shoes--she was quite interesting, She was quite a belle.

The bridegroom swell'd with a blue s.h.i.+rt collar, Black silk stock that cost a dollar, Large false whiskers the fas.h.i.+on to follow; He cut a monstrous swell.

What do you think they had for supper?

Black-eyed peas and bread and b.u.t.ter, Ducks in the duck-house all in a flutter, Pickled oysters too.

Chestnuts raw and boil'd and roasted, Apples sliced and onions toasted, Music in the corner posted, Waiting for the cue.

What do you think was the tune they danced to?

"The drunken Sailor"--sometimes "Jim Crow,"

Tails in the way--and some got pinched, too, 'Cause they were too long.

What do you think they had for a fiddle?

An old Banjo with a hole in the middle, A Tambourine made out of a riddle, And that's the end of my song.

_Anonymous_.

MR. FINNEY'S TURNIP

Mr. Finney had a turnip And it grew and it grew, And it grew behind the barn, And that turnip did no harm.

There it grew and it grew Till it could grow no longer; Then his daughter Lizzie picked it And put it in the cellar.

There it lay and it lay Till it began to rot; And his daughter Susie took it And put it in the pot.

And they boiled it and boiled it As long as they were able, And then his daughters took it And put it on the table.

Mr. Finney and his wife They sat down to sup; And they ate and they ate And they ate that turnip up.

_Anonymous_..

THE SUN

The Sun, yon glorious...o...b..of day, Ninety-four million miles away, Will keep revolving in its...o...b..t Till heat and motion reabsorb it.

_J. Davis_.

THE AUTUMN LEAVES

The Autumn leaves are falling, Are falling here and there.

They're falling through the atmosphere And also through the air.

_Anonymous_.

IN THE NIGHT

The night was growing old As she trudged through snow and sleet; Her nose was long and cold, And her shoes were full of feet.

_Anonymous_.

POOR BROTHER