Life and Literature Part 25

LATE CHURCH-GOERS.

A minister, observing that some of his people made a practice of coming in very late, and after a considerable part of the sermon was over, determined that they should feel the force of public reproof. One day, therefore, as they entered the place of wors.h.i.+p at their usual late hour, the minister, addressing his congregation, said: "But, my hearers, it is time for us now to conclude, for here are our friends just come to fetch us home."

We may easily conjecture what the parties felt at this curious but pointed address.

--_Anon._

323

BOTH KEPT AWAKE IN CHURCH.

A country minister in Scotland, who was much annoyed by two members of his congregation, Macpherson and Macintosh, sleeping during the sermon, hit upon a way to put an end to this state of matters. Calling on Macintosh, he said: "By the way, Mr. Macintosh, have you ever noticed Mr. Macpherson sleeping during the sermon?" "Many a time," replied Macintosh, virtuously. "Well, next Sunday you might sit beside Macpherson and try and keep him awake." "I'll do that sir," said Macintosh. Then the minister went to Macpherson and went through the same programme concerning Macintosh.

Next Sunday it was highly amusing to those in the secret to see Macintosh and Macpherson sitting next to each other, both perfectly wide awake.

324

When once thy foot enters the church, beware, G.o.d is more there than thou; for thou art there only by His permission. Then beware and make thyself all reverence and fear.

--_Herbert._

325

Take the child to church, whether he likes it or not. What he likes has nothing to do with it; what is best for him is the only question.

--_Bishop Vincent._

326

There are two cla.s.ses of people in the church; the one is made up of those who do the hard work of the church, and the other of those who sit at home and--criticise.

--_Lutheran Weekly._

327

Men are dependent on circ.u.mstances, and not circ.u.mstances on men.

--_Herodotus._

328

A great merchant was asked by what means he contrived to realize so large a fortune as he possessed. His reply was: "Friend, by one article alone, in which thou may'st deal too if thou pleasest--civility."

329

Civility is a desire to receive civility, and to be accounted well-bred.

--_Rochefoucauld._

330

The clergyman who lives in the city may have piety, but he must have taste.

--_Emerson._

331

AN IDEAL.

Before me on the mantel-block, There ticks a busy little clock-- The measurer of time.

It never stops or tries to s.h.i.+rk; Unceasingly it plies its work With zeal almost sublime.

Oh could I work as steadily, Oh could I just as faithful be, As this minute machine-- My life would be filled with success, with industry, with usefulness, and happiness serene.

_M. in Hampden-Sidney Magazine._

332

I do not envy a clergyman's life as an easy life, nor do I envy the clergyman who makes it an easy life.

--_Dr. Johnson._

333

A clergyman should never come tired before his people, but rather like an engine when it leaves the round-house, oiled, equipped with fuel and water, and with all its strength waiting to be put forth.

334

In his last annual report, President Eliot states that the average age of students entering Harvard is eighteen years of age and ten months. He then intimates that if students could be induced to enter college earlier, as they did in Emerson's time, there would be fewer failures.

335

When musing on companions gone We doubly feel ourselves alone.

336