Life and Conduct Part 7

4. The pleasure that is more congenial than our work is to be taken with caution. So long as a man enjoys his work more than his amus.e.m.e.nt, the latter is for him comparatively safe. It is a relaxation and refreshment, and he goes from it all the better for it; but if a man likes his pleasure better than the duties to which G.o.d has called him in the world, it is a sign that he has not realized, as he ought to realize, the object for which life was given him.

5. For the question, What is the harm? subst.i.tute, What is the good?

The former is that which many ask in regard to amus.e.m.e.nts, and the very asking of the question shows that they feel doubtful about them and should avoid them. But when we ask, What is the good? it is a sign that we are anxious to know what benefit we may derive from them, and how far they may help us. That is the true spirit in which we should approach our amus.e.m.e.nts, seeking out those that recruit and refresh us mentally, morally, and physically.

Those are hints[1] which may be found useful. "Religion never was designed," it is said, "to make our pleasures less." Religion also, if we know what it means, will ever lead us to what are true, innocent, and elevating pleasures, and keep us from those that are false, bad in their influence, and which "leave a sting behind them." "Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth, and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things G.o.d will bring thee into judgment." Let those who practise the first part of that text not forget the second.

[1] I am indebted for some of them to an article in _The Christian Union_.

CHAPTER XIII.

BOOKS.

Books have an influence on life and conduct the extent of which it is impossible to estimate. "The precepts they inculcate, the lessons they exhibit, the ideals of life and character which they portray, root themselves in the thoughts and imaginations of young men. They seize them with a force which, in after years, appears scarcely possible."

These words of Princ.i.p.al Tulloch will not appear too strong to any one who can look back over a long period of life. Such must ever feel that books have had a powerful effect in making them all that they are.

There are many considerations that go to show the importance of books.

Books are the acc.u.mulated treasures of generations.--They are to man what memory is to the individual. If all the libraries in the world were burned and all the books in the world destroyed, the past would be little more than a blank. It would be a calamity corresponding to that of a man losing by a stroke the memory of past years. The literature of the world is the world's memory, the world's experience, the world's failures. It teaches us where we came from. It tells us of the paths we have travelled. Almost all we know of the history of this world in which G.o.d has placed us we know from books. "In books," as Carlyle says, "lie the creative Phoenix ashes of the whole past--all that men have desired, discovered, done, felt, or imagined, lie recorded in books, wherein whoso has learned the mystery of spelling printed letters may find it and appropriate it."

Books open to us a society from which otherwise we would be excluded.--They introduce us into a great human company. They enable us, however humble we may be, to hold converse with the great and good of past ages and of the present time--the great philosophers, philanthropists, poets, divines, travellers. We know their thoughts, we hear their words, we clasp their hands. The chamber of the solitary student is peopled with immortal guests. He has friends who are always steadfast, who are never false, who are silent when he is weary, who go forth with him to his work, who await his return. In the literature of the world a grand society is open to all who choose to enter it.

Books are the chief food of our intellectual life.--There are men that have, indeed, done great things who have read but little. These have had their want of mental training compensated by their powers of observation and experience of life. But they have been for the most part exceptional men, and it is possible they might have done better if they had studied more. To the great majority of men books are the great teachers, the chief ministers to self-culture. Books in a special manner represent intellect to those who can appreciate them.

We cannot estimate in this aspect their importance. They are in regard to self-culture what Montaigne calls "the best viatic.u.m for the journey of life." When we think of what we owe to them, we may enter into the feelings of Charles Lamb, who "wished to ask a grace before reading more than a grace before meat."

In regard to books, the practical questions that present themselves are, what we should read, and how we should read. The first question cannot be answered in any definite manner. (_a_) The enormous number of books in the world forbids this. Let any one enter a library of even moderate size, and he will feel how almost hopeless it would be, even if it were profitable, to draw out a practicable list of what may be advantageously chosen for reading and what may well be cast aside.

(_b_) Still more does the infinite variety of tastes, circ.u.mstances: and talents, forbid the laying down of definite rules. Reading that might be profitable for one might not be so for another. Reading that would be pleasant to one would be to another weariness. Every cla.s.s of mind seeks naturally its own proper food, and the choice of books must ultimately depend upon a man's own bias--on his natural bent and the necessities of his life. There are, however, one or two directions that may be given, and which may be profitable to young men.

_First_, We should read, as far as possible, _the great books of the world_. In the kingdom of literature there are certain works that stand by themselves and tower in their grandeur above all others. They are referred to by Bacon, in his weighty way, when he says: "Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, some few to be chewed and digested." This last cla.s.s of books may be still spoken of as few.

Various lists have lately been published of the best hundred books, according to the opinion of some of the greatest men of our time.

There is considerable agreement among the writers as to what they consider the best books, and there is considerable difference also. It is easy to see how those who compiled these lists have been largely influenced in making their selection by their own peculiar tastes and fancies. Probably there is not one of their lists which any young man would care to follow out in its entirety. We give elsewhere the one which seems most likely to be useful to those into whose hands this text-book may probably come,[1] though it is evident that many young men might profitably leave out some of the books mentioned and subst.i.tute others. Still one thing is clear, that it is possible to make a selection of outstanding works in literature. After consultation with others better informed than himself, a young man can make a list suitable to his capacities and tastes, of books that really are _great_ books, and in this way he may acquire knowledge that is worth having, and which will furnish a good and solid foundation for his intellectual culture. It is with books of this kind that he should begin, and a few such books thoroughly mastered will probably do him more good than all others that he may afterwards read.

It is hardly necessary to say that there is _one_ book that may be termed specially great, and which all young men should make the special subject of their study. (_a_) The Bible, even as a means of intellectual culture, stands alone and above all others. "In the poorest cottages," says Carlyle, "is one book wherein for several thousands of years the spirit of man has found light and nourishment, and an interpreting response to whatever is deepest in him." No man can be regarded as an educated man unless he is familiar with this book. To understand its history and position in the world is in itself a liberal education. Those who have been indifferent to its spiritual power and divine claims have acknowledged its great importance in regard to self-culture. "Take the Bible," says Professor Huxley, "as a whole, make the severest deductions which fair criticism can dictate for shortcomings and for positive errors, and there still remains in this old literature a vast residuum of moral beauty and grandeur; and then consider the great historical fact that for three centuries this book has been woven into the life of all that is best and n.o.blest in English history; that it has become the national epic of Britain, and is familiar to n.o.ble and simple from John o' Groat's house to Land's End; that it is written in the n.o.blest and purest English, and abounds in exquisite beauties of a mere literary form; and finally, that it forbids the merest hind who never left his village to be ignorant of the existence of other countries and other civilizations, and of a great past, stretching back to the furthest limits of the oldest nations of the world. By the study of what other book could children be so much humanized?" In these words we have a n.o.ble tribute to the intellectual greatness of the Bible. (_b_) But it has other claims upon us than its power to stimulate mental culture. It is inspired by G.o.d. "It is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness." It is man's guide through the perplexities of life to the glory of heaven, "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word."

Read then the great books of the world, and this book, the greatest of all.

_Second_, Another suggestion that we may make in regard to the use of books is that _we should read from some centre or standpoint_. A person takes a house in the country. This he makes the centre of many excursions. One day he climbs the mountain, another day he walks by winding stream, on another he sails along the sh.o.r.e. In this way he explores the surrounding country by degrees, coming back each night to the place he started from. We may do much the same thing with profit in our excursions among books. For instance, we may take the starting-point of our _profession_, and read all we can in regard to it. A farmer should read about farming, a lawyer about law, a divine about theology. Or we may take the starting-point of our _physical frame_, and read steadily all we can as to our bodily organisation and its laws; or we may take as our starting point the _land_ we dwell in, or even the locality where we live, and seek to learn all we can regarding its history. In this way distinct lines of study are opened up to us, and we are saved the evil of desultory reading, which too often fills the mind only with a jumble of facts undigested and unarranged, and therefore of but little value. The writer knew a young minister in a Scottish manse who had among the few books in his library the _Encyclopaedia Britannica_. In this work he took up distinct courses of reading--a course of biography, a course of history, a course of geography--and in this way he acquired knowledge well systematized, which was of great value to him in his after life. We should endeavor, according to some such method as we have indicated, to carry on our reading. "Every man and every woman who can read at all should adopt some definite purpose in their reading, should take something for the main stem and trunk of their culture, whence branches might grow out in all directions, seeking air and light for the parent tree, which it is hoped might end in becoming something useful and ornamental, and which at any rate all along will have had life and growth in it." These words of Sir Arthur Helps put very tersely the point on which we have been insisting.

_Third_, We should read books _on the same principle as we a.s.sociate with men_. We only admit to our society those whom we deem worthy of our acquaintance, and from whose intercourse we are likely to derive benefit. We should do the same in regards to books. There are people who read books which, if they took to themselves bodily form and became personified, would be kicked out of their houses. Readers often a.s.sociate in literature with what is vile and contemptible, who would never think of a.s.sociating with people possessing a similar character.

Yet the society of a weak or bad book is just as harmful to us in its way, and should be as little tolerated by us as the society of a weak or bad man. Indeed, between an author and a careful reader there is an intimacy established even closer than is possible in the intercourse of life, and evil books poison the springs of thought and feeling much more thoroughly than an evil acquaintances.h.i.+p could do. We cannot be too strict, therefore, in applying to books the rules we follow in regard to society, and refusing our acquaintance to those books unworthy of it. (_a_) Such books may be known by reputation. We would not a.s.sociate with a man of bad reputation, neither should we read a book of which the reputation is evil. (_b_) They may be judged of also by very slight experience. Very little tells us whether a man is worthy to be admitted to companions.h.i.+p, and very slight acquaintance with a book is sufficient to tell us whether it is worth reading.

(_c_) But especially by beginning with those great authors that are beyond doubt high toned, "the master-spirits of all time," we shall acquire a power of discrimination. We shall no more care to read foul, impure, and unwholesome literature than a man brought up in the society of honorable men would choose to cast in his lot with thieves and blacklegs and the offscourings of society.

We have antic.i.p.ated much that might be said in answer to the question _how_ to read, and only a few words need be written in regard to it.

(1) Read with interest. Unless a book interests us we do not attend to it, we get no benefit whatever from it, and may as well throw it aside.

(2) Read actively, not pa.s.sively, putting the book under cross-examination as we go along--asking questions regarding it, weighing arguments. Mere pa.s.sive reading may do no more good than the stream does to the iron pipe through which it flows. Novel-readers are often mere pa.s.sive recipients of the stories, and thus get no real benefit from them. (3) Read according to some system or method. (4) Read not always for relaxation, recreation, and amus.e.m.e.nt, but chiefly to enable you to perform the duties to which G.o.d has called you in daily life.

[1] See Appendix.

CHAPTER XIV.

FAMILY LIFE.

The words Family--Home--Household--all express one idea. They imply a relations.h.i.+p existing between certain individuals, a circle or sphere separate from the ma.s.s of human beings, within which there are special duties to be performed and a special life has to be lived. It is not necessary to define particularly what is meant by the word Family, for it is well understood by all of us.

Family life is peculiar to man.--The lower animals have nothing in all respects resembling it. In some particulars their mode of life occasionally approaches it, but not in all. The birds of the air, for instance, care tenderly for their offspring, but when these come to maturity the relation between them and their parents comes to an end.

The family relation on the other hand lasts through life, and is only broken by the hand of death, if even then. The family has been inst.i.tuted by G.o.d for the welfare of man. The condition in which we come into the world requires it--our training for the work of life demands it--it is specially adapted to promote the great ends of human existence.

Family life is that which most truly leaves its mark upon us.--In the family habits are formed which make us what we are for the rest of our life. Home influences accompany us to the very end of our journey.

Let any one ask himself what are the chief sources of his virtues, and he will feel that a large proportion of them are derived directly or indirectly from a.s.sociation with his fellow-creatures in the family.

The training of parents, the affection and influence of mothers and sisters, powerfully and lastingly affect our intellectual and moral nature. From a wise father we learn more than from all our teachers.

When a celebrated artist, Benjamin West, was asked "What made him a painter?" his reply was, "It was my mother's kiss." "I should have been an atheist," said a great American statesman, "if it had not been for one recollection, and that was the memory of the time when my departed mother used to take my little hand in hers, and caused me on my knees to say, 'Our Father, who art in heaven.'" On the other hand, those who have been so unfortunate as to have had an unhappy home rarely emanc.i.p.ate themselves from the evil effects of their upbringing.

If they do, it is after the severest struggle. "The child," it has been said, "is the father of the man," and it is in the family the child receives his first impressions for good or for evil. The world he first lives in is his home.

Family life supplies a great test of character.--When Whitefield was asked whether a certain person was a Christian, he replied, "I do not know. I have never seen him at home." People are often one thing in the world and another in their own family. In the close intercourse of the home circle they exhibit themselves in their true colors. A man who is a good son or a good brother is generally found to be a good man. If he is a source of evil in his own home, in his intercourse with the world he will, sooner or later, be found wanting.

It is beyond the scope of this book to dwell at length upon the duties inc.u.mbent on the various members of a family. It may be sufficient to indicate generally the feelings which should animate the young persons who belong to it. Probably most of those into whose hands this manual will come are members of a family. What should therefore be their conduct at home is a question that well deserves their consideration.

1. _Obedience_ is the fundamental principle of family life. Every family has a head, and that head must rule. "Order is heaven's first law." Where there is no obedience there can be no order in a family.

The first form of authority which is placed before the child is that of the parent, and to the parent he has to be subject. "Children," says the apostle, "obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." Even for those members of a family who have grown out of the state of childhood obedience must be the rule, though in their case it is not to be, as in the case of the child, unquestioning obedience, but is to be founded on reason, affection and grat.i.tude. With them obedience takes the form of reverence, or, to use a more familiar word, respect. The child is bound to obey his parent without hesitation or reply; the young man who has entered into greater liberty than the child will still respect his parents' wishes and cherish reverence for their authority. This feeling on his part is termed in the Scriptures _Honor_. "Honor thy father and thy mother" is one of the Ten Commandments, and can never cease to be included among moral and religious obligations. It is opposed to everything like unseemly familiarity, discourtesy of treatment, insolence in reply, or deliberate defiance. It implies respect for age and experience, and a sense of the great sacrifices a parent has made for his children's welfare. It is said that in our time the bonds of parental authority are being loosened, and that young men do not regard their parents with the deference that once was invariably shown towards them; that they do little to smooth the path of life for them when they grow old and weak, and are more ready to cast them on the public charity than to contribute to their support. Such a state of things would be shameful, if true. It would indicate a corruption of social life at the fountain-head that must lead to serious consequences. The family is the nursery both of the State and of the Church, and where the purity and well-being of family life is impaired, both State and Church are sure to suffer. There should be therefore an earnest and prayerful endeavor upon the part of the young to cherish towards their parents that loving sense of their superiority which is implied in the word Honor. "Let them learn first," says St. Paul (1 Tim. v. 4), "to show piety at home, and to requite their parents; for that is good and acceptable before G.o.d." There can be no more pleasing memory for a young man to have than this, that he has been a dutiful son; none more bitter than this, that he has set at defiance, or neglected, those to whom he owes so much.

2. _Affection_ is the atmosphere that should pervade the household.

"Without hearts," it has been truly said, "there is no home." A collection of roots, and trunk, and branches, and leaves, do not make a tree; neither do a number of people dwelling together make a home. "A certain number of animal lives that are of prescribed ages, that eat and drink together, by no means makes a family. Almost as well might we say that it is the bricks of a house that make a home. There may be a home in the forest or in the wilderness, and there may be a family with all its blessings, though half its members be in other lands or in another world. It is the gentle memories, the mutual thought, the desire to bless, the sympathies that meet when duties are apart, the fervor of the parents' prayers, the persuasion of filial love, the sister's pride and the brother's benediction, that const.i.tute the true elements of domestic life and sanctify the dwelling." [1] These beautiful words are true. It is love that makes home. The dweller, in a distant land sends again and again his thoughts across the sea, and reverts with fond affection to the place of his birth. It may be a humble cottage, but to him it is ever dear because of the love which dwelt there and united those who dwelt there by ties that distance cannot sever. Even the prodigal in the matchless parable of our Lord, herding with the swine and eating of their husks, was led to a higher and a better life by the remembrance of his father's house. A home without love is no home, any more than a body without a soul is a man.

It is only a corpse.

3. _Consideration_ for those with whom we live in the family is the chief form which affection takes. Each member has to remember, not his own comfort and wants, but the comfort and wants of those with whom he dwells. His welfare as an individual he must subordinate to the welfare of the household. There are various forms which want of consideration takes, and all of them are detestable. (_a_) Tyranny, where the strong member of a family insists on the service of those weaker than himself. (_b_) Greed, where one demands a larger share of comfort, food, or attention than that which falls to the others. (_c_) Indolence, where one refuses to take his proper part in the maintenance of the family, spending his wages, perhaps, on his own pleasures, and yet expecting to be provided for by the labor of the rest. (_d_) Discourtesy, where, by his language and manners, he makes the others unhappy, and, perhaps, by his outbursts of temper fills the whole house with sadness. (_e_) Obstinacy, which will have its own way, whether the way be good or not. All these forms of selfishness are violations of the true law of family life, and render that life impossible. In the family, more than in any other sphere, everyone should bear the burdens of others. Everyone should seek, not his own, but another's welfare, and the weak and feeble should receive the attention of all.

4. _Pleasantness_ should be the disposition which we should specially cultivate at home. If we have to encounter things that annoy and perhaps irritate us in the outer world, we should seek to leave the irritation and annoyance behind when we cross the threshold of our dwelling. Into it the roughness and bl.u.s.ter of the world should never be permitted to come. It should be the place of "sweetness and light,"

and every member may do something to make it so. It is a bad sign when a young man never cares to spend his evenings at home--when he prefers the company of others to the society of his family, and seeks his amus.e.m.e.nt wholly beyond its circle. There is something wrong when this is the case. "I beseech you," said one addressing youth, "not to turn home into a restaurant and a sleeping bunk, spending all your leisure somewhere else, and going home only when all other places are shut up."

A young man, it is admitted, may find his home uninviting through causes for which he has not himself to blame. Still, even then he may do much to change its character, and by his pleasant and cheerful bearing may bring into it suns.h.i.+ne brighter than the suns.h.i.+ne outside.

5. The highest family life is that consecrated by _Religion_. The household where G.o.d is acknowledged, from which the members go regularly together to the house of G.o.d, within whose walls is heard the voice of prayer and praise, is the ideal Christian family. In such a family the father is the priest, daily offering up prayers for those whom G.o.d has given him, at the family altar. He makes it his duty, and regards it as his privilege to bring up his children in "the nurture and admonition of the Lord," and by personal example and teaching to train them up as members of the household of faith. Unlike those who leave the religious instruction of their children entirely to others, he loves to teach them himself. A household thus pervaded by a Christian atmosphere is a scene of sweet and tender beauty. Such a household is well depicted by our Scottish poet, Robert Burns, in his "Cotter's Sat.u.r.day Night." There we see how beautiful family life may be in the humblest dwelling.

From scenes like these old Scotia's grandeur springs, That makes her lov'd abroad, rever'd at home.

[1] Dr. James Martineau.