Clair de Lune Part 30

But has not her Grace been tearing the Queen's curtains back at dawn?

1ST LADY

No, why should she be? What has happened?

[_They all crowd around him._]

A LADY

The air seems sizzling with lightning. Tell us, has the Queen done her some rudeness again? We were just saying how charming she was and thinking of how to express our admiration to her on her arrival.

PHEDRO

Don't disturb your vocabulary for the sake of the d.u.c.h.ess.

LADIES AND COURTIERS [_in one voice_]

Why, what has happened?

PHEDRO

The d.u.c.h.ess does not exist any longer.

A COURTIER

She is dead?

2D COURTIER

Artemis has risen to hunt, but in heaven--

3D COURTIER

Good G.o.d! [_he gradually recovers himself_] What a shame the cla.s.sics are taught. It lends a pulpit to such tedious people.

A LADY

Oh, we must know, if we are to live. What has happened to the d.u.c.h.ess?

PHEDRO [_grimly--with finality_]

She has become _decla.s.see_.

[_Everybody grows gradually stupefied._]

A LADY [_only partially recovering_]

You mean that she left the door open? Or mislaid one of her jewels somewhere?

OTHER LADY [_just able to murmur_]

You would suggest that she permitted herself to be--discovered?

PHEDRO

Yes, her apartment was honeycombed with indiscretions.

1ST COURTIER [_sharply_]

But what did that matter? Who plucked them out?

PHEDRO

The Queen.

3D COURTIER

What an appalling mischance!

A LADY

It is an outrage! People who are lazy enough to be found out are a menace to all of us.

3D COURTIER

A gentleman will hardly know where he is safe when the d.u.c.h.ess of Beaumont can allow such an occurrence.

PHEDRO

I am afraid I must make my exit from this troubled surface and scrutinize more silent things. [_Pause. Half to himself_] I wonder how a man looks who has slept well among the touch and glide of fishes.

A LADY

What sort of horrible, wriggly thing are you saying, Phedro?

PHEDRO

I am tasting my own cooking. It is delicious. However, enough public reverie. When the d.u.c.h.ess comes, announce her to the Queen in whatever manner fits your inclination. Take a good breath of bad manners. It will refresh you all. [_he glances at his watch_] Ah, I shall be late for a certain melancholy addition of facts.

LADIES

What facts?

PHEDRO

You shall see. I have only read you the prologue.

[_He exits, almost b.u.mping into the d.u.c.h.eSS, who sweeps by him into the room. The courtiers stand about perfectly limp, enjoying their indifference._]