The Works of Lord Byron Volume VI Part 59

Are apt to carry things with a high hand, And take, what Kings call "an imposing att.i.tude;"

And for their rights connubial make a stand, When their liege husbands treat them with ingrat.i.tude; And as four wives must have quadruple claims, The Tigris hath its jealousies like Thames.

XII.

Gulbeyaz was the fourth, and (as I said) The favourite; but what's favour amongst four?

Polygamy may well be held in dread, Not only as a sin, but as a bore: Most wise men with one moderate woman wed,[gg]

Will scarcely find philosophy for more; And all (except Mahometans) forbear To make the nuptial couch a "Bed of Ware."[334]

XIII.

His Highness, the sublimest of mankind,--[gh]

So styled according to the usual forms Of every monarch, till they are consigned To those sad hungry Jacobins the worms, Who on the very loftiest kings have dined,-- His Highness gazed upon Gulbeyaz' charms, Expecting all the welcome of a lover (A "Highland welcome"[335] all the wide world over).

XIV.

Now here we should distinguish; for howe'er Kisses, sweet words, embraces, and all that, May look like what it is--neither here nor there,[gi]

They are put on as easily as a hat, Or rather bonnet, which the fair s.e.x wear, Trimmed either heads or hearts to decorate, Which form an ornament, but no more part Of heads, than their caresses of the heart.

XV.

A slight blush, a soft tremor, a calm kind Of gentle feminine delight, and shown More in the eyelids than the eyes, resigned Rather to hide what pleases most unknown, Are the best tokens (to a modest mind)[gj]

Of Love, when seated on his loveliest throne, A sincere woman's breast,--for over-_warm_ Or over-_cold_ annihilates the charm.

XVI.

For over-warmth, if false, is worse than truth; If true, 't is no great lease of its own fire; For no one, save in very early youth, Would like (I think) to trust all to desire, Which is but a precarious bond, in sooth, And apt to be transferred to the first buyer At a sad discount: while your over chilly Women, on t' other hand, seem somewhat silly.

XVII.

That is, we cannot pardon their bad taste, For so it seems to lovers swift or slow, Who fain would have a mutual flame confessed, And see a sentimental pa.s.sion glow, Even were St. Francis' paramour their guest, In his monastic concubine of snow;--[336]

In short, the maxim for the amorous tribe is Horatian, "_Medio tu tutissimus ibis_"[337]

XVIII.

The "tu" 's _too_ much,--but let it stand,--the verse Requires it, that's to say, the English rhyme, And not the pink of old hexameters; But, after all, there's neither tune nor time In the last line, which cannot well be worse,[gk]

And was thrust in to close the octave's chime: I own no prosody can ever rate it As a rule, but _Truth_ may, if you translate it.

XIX.

If fair Gulbeyaz overdid her part, I know not--it succeeded, and success Is much in most things, not less in the heart Than other articles of female dress.

Self-love in Man, too, beats all female art;[gl]

They lie, we lie, all lie, but love no less: And no one virtue yet, except starvation, Could stop that worst of vices--propagation.

XX.

We leave this royal couple to repose: A bed is not a throne, and they may sleep, Whate'er their dreams be, if of joys or woes: Yet disappointed joys are woes as deep As any man's clay mixture undergoes.

Our least of sorrows are such as we _weep_; 'T is the vile daily drop on drop which wears The soul out (like the stone) with petty cares.[gm]

XXI.

A scolding wife, a sullen son, a bill To pay, unpaid, protested, or discounted At a per-centage; a child cross, dog ill, A favourite horse fallen lame just as he's mounted, A bad old woman making a worse will,[338]

Which leaves you minus of the cash you counted[gn]

As certain;--these are paltry things, and yet I've rarely seen the man they did not fret.

XXII.

I'm a philosopher; confound them all![go]

Bills, beasts, and men, and--no! not womankind![gp]

With one good hearty curse I vent my gall, And then my Stoicism leaves nought behind Which it can either pain or evil call, And I can give my whole soul up to mind; Though what _is_ soul, or mind, their birth or growth, Is more than I know--the deuce take them both![gq]

XXIII.

So now all things are d.a.m.ned one feels at ease, As after reading Athanasius' curse, Which doth your true believer so much please: I doubt if any now could make it worse O'er his worst enemy when at his knees, 'T is so sententious, positive, and terse, And decorates the Book of Common Prayer, As doth a rainbow the just clearing air.

XXIV.

Gulbeyaz and her lord were sleeping, or At least one of them!--Oh, the heavy night, When wicked wives, who love some bachelor,[gr]

Lie down in dudgeon to sigh for the light Of the grey morning, and look vainly for Its twinkle through the lattice dusky quite-- To toss, to tumble, doze, revive, and quake Lest their too lawful bed-fellow should wake![gs]

XXV.

These are beneath the canopy of heaven, Also beneath the canopy of beds Four-posted and silk-curtained, which are given For rich men and their brides to lay their heads Upon, in sheets white as what bards call "driven Snow,"[339] Well! 't is all hap-hazard when one weds.

Gulbeyaz was an empress, but had been Perhaps as wretched if a _peasants quean_.

XXVI.

Don Juan in his feminine disguise,[340]

With all the damsels in their long array, Had bowed themselves before th' imperial eyes, And at the usual signal ta'en their way Back to their chambers, those long galleries In the seraglio, where the ladies lay Their delicate limbs; a thousand bosoms there Beating for Love, as the caged bird's for air.

XXVII.

I love the s.e.x, and sometimes would reverse The Tyrant's[341] wish, "that Mankind only had One neck, which he with one fell stroke might pierce:"

My wish is quite as wide, but not so bad,[gt]

And much more tender on the whole than fierce; It being (not _now_, but only while a lad) That Womankind had but one rosy mouth,[gu]

To kiss them all at once from North to South.

XXVIII.

Oh, enviable Briareus! with thy hands And heads, if thou hadst all things multiplied In such proportion!--But my Muse withstands The giant thought of being a t.i.tan's bride, Or travelling in Patagonian lands; So let us back to Lilliput, and guide Our hero through the labyrinth of Love In which we left him several lines above.

XXIX.

He went forth with the lovely Odalisques,[342]

At the given signal joined to their array; And though he certainly ran many risks, Yet he could not at times keep, by the way, (Although the consequences of such frisks Are worse than the worst damages men pay In moral England, where the thing's a tax,) From ogling all their charms from b.r.e.a.s.t.s to backs.

x.x.x.

Still he forgot not his disguise:--along The galleries from room to room they walked, A virgin-like and edifying throng, By eunuchs flanked; while at their head there stalked A dame who kept up discipline among The female ranks, so that none stirred or talked, Without her sanction on their she-parades: Her t.i.tle was "the Mother of the Maids."