A King, and No King Part 23

_Enter Bessus alone_.

_Bes_.

They talk of fame, I have gotten it in the wars; and will afford any man a reasonable penny-worth: some will say, they could be content to have it, but that it is to be atchiev'd with danger; but my opinion is otherwise: for if I might stand still in Cannon-proof, and have fame fall upon me, I would refuse it: my reputation came princ.i.p.ally by thinking to run away, which no body knows but _Mardonius_, and I think he conceals it to anger me. Before I went to the warrs, I came to the Town a young fellow, without means or parts to deserve friends; and my empty guts perswaded me to lie, and abuse people for my meat, which I did, and they beat me: then would I fast two days, till my hunger cri'd out on me, rail still, then me-thought I had a monstrous stomach to abuse 'em again, and did it. I, this state I continu'd till they hung me up by th' heels, and beat me wi'

hasle sticks, as if they would have baked me, and have cousen'd some body wi'me for Venison: After this I rail'd, and eat quietly: for the whole Kingdom took notice of me for a baffl'd whipt fellow, and what I said was remembred in mirth but never in anger, of which I was glad; I would it were at that pa.s.s again.

After this, heaven calls an Aunt of mine, that left two hundred pound in a cousins hand for me, who taking me to be a gallant young spirit, raised a company for me with the money and sent me into _Armenia_ with 'em: Away I would have run from them, but that I could get no company, and alone I durst not run. I was never at battail but once, and there I was running, but _Mardonius_ cudgel'd me; yet I got loose at last, but was so fraid, that I saw no more than my shoulders doe, but fled with my whole company amongst my Enemies, and overthrew 'em: Now the report of my valour is come over before me, and they say I was a raw young fellow, but now I am improv'd, a Plague on their eloquence, 't will cost me many a beating; And _Mardonius_ might help this too, if he would; for now they think to get honour on me, and all the men I have abus'd call me freshly worthily, as they call it by the way of challenge.

_Enter a Gent_.

_3 Gent_.

Good morrow, Captain _Bessus_.

_Bes_.

Good morrow Sir.

_3 Gent_.

I come to speak with you.

_Bes_.

You're very welcome.

_3 Gent_.

From one that holds himself wrong'd by you some three years since: your worth he says is fam'd, and he doth nothing doubt but you will do him right, as beseems a souldier.

_Bes_.

A pox on 'em, so they cry all.

_3 Gent_.

And a slight note I have about me for you, for the delivery of which you must excuse me; it is an office that friends.h.i.+p calls upon me to do, and no way offensive to you; since I desire but right on both sides.

_Bes_.

'Tis a challenge Sir, is it not?

_3 Gent_.

'Tis an inviting to the field.

_Bes_.

An inviting? O Sir your Mercy, what a Complement he delivers it with? he might as agreeable to my nature present me poison with such a speech: um um um reputation, um um um call you to account, um um um forc'd to this, um um um with my Sword, um um um like a Gentleman, um um um dear to me, um um um satisfaction: 'Tis very well Sir, I do accept it, but he must await an answer this thirteen weeks.

_3 Gent_.

Why Sir, he would be glad to wipe off his stain as soon as he could.

_Bes_.

Sir upon my credit I am already ingag'd to two hundred, and twelve, all which must have their stains wip'd off, if that be the word, before him.

_3 Gent_.

Sir, if you be truly ingag'd but to one, he shall stay a competent time.

_Bes_.

Upon my faith Sir, to two hundred and twelve, and I have a spent body, too much bruis'd in battel, so that I cannot fight, I must be plain, above three combats a day: All the kindness I can shew him, is to set him resolvedly in my rowle, the two hundred and thirteenth man, which is something, for I tell you, I think there will be more after him, than before him, I think so; pray you commend me to him, and tell him this.

_3 Gent_.

I will Sir, good morrow to you.

[_Exit 3 Gent_.

_Bes_.

Good morrow good Sir. Certainly my safest way were to print my self a coward, with a discovery how I came by my credit, and clap it upon every post; I have received above thirty challenges within this two hours, marry all but the first I put off with ingagement, and by good fortune, the first is no madder of fighting than I, so that that's referred, the place where it must be ended, is four days journey off, and our arbitratours are these: He has chosen a Gentleman in travel, and I have a special friend with a quartain ague, like to hold him this five years, for mine: and when his man comes home, we are to expect my friends health: If they would finde me challenges thus thick, as long as I liv'd, I would have no other living; I can make seven s.h.i.+llings a day o'th' paper to the Grocers: yet I learn nothing by all these but a little skill in comparing of stiles. I do finde evidently, that there is some one Scrivener in this Town, that has a great hand in writing of Challenges, for they are all of a cut, and six of 'em in a hand; and they all end, my reputation is dear to me, and I must require satisfaction: Who's there? more paper I hope, no, 'tis my Lord _Bacurius_, I fear all is not well betwixt us.

_Enter_ Bacurius.

_Bac_.

Now Captain _Bessus_, I come about a frivolous matter, caus'd by as idle a report: you know you were a coward.

_Bes_.

Very right.

_Bac_.

And wronged me.

_Bes_.

True my Lord.

_Bac_.

But now people will call you valiant, desertlesly I think, yet for their satisfaction, I will have you fight with me.

_Bes_.