Anthology: Bad Boys To Go Part 23

"Last stop before Vegas. "

She blinked and glanced at her watch. "It's six in the morning. "

"Yeah. "

"How do these old people have the stamina?"

"h.e.l.l if I know," he said, stretching out his shoulders. "Come on. Let's get some coffee. "

She turned to stare out the window. They'd pulled into another gas station complex complete with restau-rant and shops. She searched anxiously for a black sedan in the parking area but there wasn't one. Still, that didn't mean it wouldn't turn up. "Are you sure it's safe?"

"Safer than in here like sitting ducks. "

"Right." Her eyes felt gritty from lack of sleep and her mind was fuzzy. Coffee. "Must have coffee. "

They hauled to their feet, then stumbled out of the bus with the old folks. She hunched into her jacket and hoped the baseball cap she'd added hid her face, just in case anyone was watching them.

She felt Adam's tension when he b.u.mped into her from behind. Still, there were no scary dudes in the vicinity, or in the coffee shop where their fellow pa.s.sengers piled in. The morning was overcast. d.a.m.n. She'd missed dawn. It was probably spectacular.

The coffee shop was almost deserted. Their fellow bus travelers began pulling tables together with practiced ease, as though they'd done it hundreds of times. She glanced at Adam, and he shrugged. If she and Adam skulked off into a corner, she supposed they'd only be more conspicuous, as well as offending a lot of perfectly nice seniors.

Adam lent a hand pulling tables into a long line, and soon they were all sitting together and a cheerful waitress with improbable red hair was pouring steaming coffee.

"What's the seniors' breakfast special?" asked Norm, the unofficial group leader, and Gretchen realized she was hungry. Before she knew quite how it happened, she was enjoying her first seniors' breakfast special.

She'd barely dug into her scrambled eggs when Norm barked down the table, "So, I hear you kids are getting married. "

If Norm wasn't ex-military, she'd eat her "I *heart* Nevada" baseball cap. Adam must have sensed the same thing, for he answered, "Yes, sir. "

If he told anyone else she was pregnant he was going to be wearing his coffee, and maybe he realized that, for with the briefest of glances her way, he said, "We're both big Elvis fans. "

Norm nodded and bit into a sausage patty. "Going for the Love Me Tender package?"

"I was thinking the Jailhouse Rock package," he said with a foolish, lovesick grin, looping an arm around her. "Now I'm tying myself to the old ball and chain. "

"Keep it up, you'll be after the Heartbreak Hotel divorce," she said, shrugging off his arm.

"Oh, they are darling!" exclaimed Sadie, the one who'd adopted her outside the rest room and who planned to get lucky by winning at the tables. "I just love weddings. What time is the ceremony?"

Gretchen swallowed before she could choke. "We haven't, uh, booked one yet," Adam said.

"Really? But the Elvis weddings are very popular. What if they're all booked up?"

"We like to be spontaneous," said Adam, who was scratching at his neck as though he had hives. "The way I look at it, if it's meant to be, they'll have a spot. "

Norm chuckled. "I got married in Las Vegas myself. Had thirty-seven happy years with my wife." He shook his head, sadly.

A moment pa.s.sed, and Gretchen felt her heart stir.

"What are you wearing for your wedding, honey?" asked a lady halfway down the table.

Since Gretchen had the clothes on her back, plus a blue nights.h.i.+rt, an extra T-s.h.i.+rt, and two pairs of underpants left in her brand new pack of three, there was only one answer. "I'll pick something up when we get there," she said, forcing a smile to her face.

"Well, don't forget something old, something newa"that will be your bridal gown, of coursea"something borrowed, and something blue." The birdsong voice had Gretchen s.h.i.+fting uncomfortably on the hard wooden seat. d.a.m.n Adam for putting her in the position of lying to an entire busload of grandparents.

"I think they must be hard up for cash," a woman with a hearing aid the size of a lemon said in a penetrating whisper to her husband across the table.

There was some general nodding, and Gretchen felt her cheeks heat, as though she and Adam were the deadbeat kids none of them had ever been saddled with.

"No, reallya""

"Where you staying tonight? I hope you've got a nice place picked out for your honeymoon?" Norm said, looking at Adam as though if he said the wrong thing, he'd have to drop and give him fifty push-ups.

"Yes, sir. We're ata I forget the name of the place. I liked the look of the fountains outside. "

"Poor things. You can see they've got no money. And I hear she's P. G.," Hearing Aid bellowed, pointing to her own belly and miming pregnancy, as though her words could possibly be misunderstood.

"Probably forgot to use a condom!" her husband yelled back.

"You're having more trouble with your colon? You should have said something. "

"Condom," the man shouted loud enough that they could hear him in Canada. "I bet they forgot to use a condom. "

Gretchen couldn't take any more. Feeling as though the heat of her own embarra.s.sment was going to fry her on the spot, she said, "Excuse me" and rose hastily. "I have to use the washroom. "

"Morning sickness, I bet," said Hearing Aid to her even deafer friend. "I was like that with my first, Ernestine. Eat, vomit, eat, vomit. My husband used to say I should just go dump my breakfast in the toilet and not waste my time eating it." She chortled merrily.

"You got a job, son?"

As Gretchen reached the washroom door, she heard Adam's answer. "Not at the moment, sir. "

By the time they got back on the bus, Gretchen almost thought she'd rather face the hit men than another meal with the well-meaning bus mates.

"I don't like the look of that whispering going on up there," Adam said after they'd been on the road half an hour or so.

She knew what he meant. A group of pa.s.sengers was huddled, Norm at the center. It seemed everyone was awake now for the day. She wouldn't have paid them any notice except that one or another would glance back at her and Adam every once in a while, as though they were the subject of conversation.

"I bet he's going to give me a man-to-man talk on my responsibilities now I'm going to be a family man. "

"Or a lecture on birth control. "

He groaned. "I never got through that one with my old man. I couldn't go through it with Norm barking at me about the reproductive system. "

She tried not to snicker and failed miserably. "It's your own fault. Are you sorry now that you knocked me up?"

He stared at her oddly for a moment before saying, "I guess I'll survive a lecture. "

As they closed in on Las Vegas, Gretchen felt the knot of tension between her shoulder blades and in her neck.

This was it.

The bus pulled up at a three-star hotel on the strip where the group was staying. They must have been pretty excited about the gambling or shows, because there was enough giggling and whispering up front for a school bus.

The group filed out of the front door; since they'd been the only ones at the back, she and Adam came down the steps last.

"I'll slip away," Adam said as they rose from their seats. "You grab a room. I'll call you on your cell when I can. "

The parking lot smelled hot and dusty, and she knew he was not going to make it easy for her to accompany him, but she was determined.

Even as she tried to marshal her arguments, she was distracted by the giggling and pointing.

"Surprise!" their bus mates yelled in unison.

Blinking, she followed the pointing fingers to a brightly s.h.i.+ning, primrose yellow limousine. She was puzzled until she saw the name emblazoned on the door: The Elvis Chapel.

Standing beside the open rear door, and looking remarkably like Elvisa"if Elvis had been a hundred pounds heavier and Greeka"was the driver.

Chapter Eight.

"We clubbed together and got you the Love Me Tender package," said Sadie, glowing with excitement. "You don't have to worry about a thing. And it won't cost you a cent. We decided we'd like to help you youngstersa"and the little one on the waya"to get a good start in life. "

"Oh, well, thank you," Gretchen mumbled, feeling like the biggest jerk around, "but we couldn'ta""

"What Gretchen's trying to say is thank you. You've helped us out of a real jam," Adam said, pus.h.i.+ng her toward the limo with enough force that she almost sprawled.

She turned to stare at Adam in surprise, wondering if two minutes in this hot parking lot had given him sunstroke. He nudged his chin and she turned to see a familiar black sedan pulling in behind the bus.

Oh no.

She hustled into the limo. Adam followed, and before they could stop them, Norm and Sadie and Verna piled in with them.

The door shut, the driver got in, and they were off. If there was any doubt of their standing out, even in the glitz and noise of Las Vegas, that was put to rest when the engine started and "Viva Las Vegas" blared out of the speakers inside the caba"and from the megaphone mounted on top of the limo.

"Doesn't the driver look just like Elvis?" Sadie cried.

"The sideburns are good," Gretchen managed, wis.h.i.+ng for once that she actually had bullets to load into her gun. If the sedan caught up with them, at least she'd be able to help protect the three seniors. How on earth had the hired thugs found them? She glanced at Adam and the way he was frowning, he was wondering the same.

"First, we're going to the Clark County Marriage License Bureau on Third, to get the license. Norm reminded us you'll need to do that. The ceremony is set for two o'clock. Norm organized it all with his cell phone. And I can tell you never guessed a thing!"

"No," she managed weakly. "We never did." Norm must have been something in the military. She bet he could launch an invasion given fifteen minutes and a cell phone.

"Then you'll go off for your honeymoon and we'll all still be in time for happy hour at the hotel. "

As Sadie was talking, Gretchen had gazed fearfully out of the tinted windows, but, amazingly, the black sedan stayed with the bus. She supposed it was just too absurd for hired hit men to imagine anyone would make their getaway in a daffodil yellow stretch limo belting out "Viva Las Vegas. "

"Thank you, Elvis!" Adam said, unknowingly echoing her thoughts as he removed his hand from his backpack. Norm glanced at him sharply but didn't say anything.

"And thank you all," Gretchen said to their new friends. She was touched by their thoughtfulness, as well as horrified at the awkward situation in which she now found herself. "It's like having a busload of fairy G.o.dmothers and fathers. "

"Oh, well, we all liked the idea of helping you two get started. Plus, it gives us some excitement. I hope you don't mind if we all come to the wedding?"

Gretchen's smile developed a sudden case of rigor mortis. She and Adam were going to ditch the limo long before the service, but she hated the idea of hurting all these nice people's feelings.

What were they going to do? She glanced at Adam, but he was no help, looking as perplexed as she felt.

"Well, thank you," she said. "That's very nice. But maybe you should check first in case we get cold feet at the last minute. I mean"a"she laughed, slightly hystericallya""this whole wedding thing was awfully sudden. "

"I said you were being kind of impulsive, didn't I, hon," Adam said, patting her knee. She knew he was acting, but she still wanted to slap him. No one, but no one, called her hon.

Sadie shook her head fondly. "My youngest was like you. She almost didn't get married. I stuck to her like glue on her wedding day just to make her go through with it. I'll do the same with you." Here she patted Adam on the knee. "Don't you worry. Your lady will be there. "

Gretchen shot Adam a glance of appeal. If she was being strong-armed to the altar then he was going to have to do the jilting.

Never having contemplated the matter before, she was amazed at how simple it was to get married. A bored clerk took their thirty-five dollarsa"which Norm would have paid, and a red-faced Adam insisted he could handlea"and gave them a form which took less than ten minutes to complete. Before they knew it, they had a license, which Norm put in his pocket.

"For safekeeping," he said, and winked. He was getting as much of a charge out of this wedding nonsense as Sadie.

From there, the lemon limo serenaded them with "Blue Suede Shoes" to the chapel.

"I'm as excited as if it were my own wedding," Sadie said.

"It's still early, so Elvis's voice will be nice and fresh." If the Greek Elvis was going to be marrying them, Gretchen imagined "Love Me Tender" accompanied by the Bouzouki and wedding toasts drunk in ouzo. She closed her eyes on the vision of "My Big Fat Greek Elvis Wedding. "

Greek Elvis opened the limo door and Gretchen found her knees were trembling as she climbed out.

She glanced up at her phony bridegroom as he held the door for her to pa.s.s through and she saw amus.e.m.e.nt dancing in his eyes. He thought this was funny? Then he gave her the ghost of a wink and she started to relax. He obviously had a plan.

He leaned close as though to kiss her, and said, "Play along." Then he did kiss her. Even through her nerves and the surreal haze that surrounded her sleep-deprived senses, she still felt the mule-kick of attraction. If she'd known him longer, if he weren't on the run for his life, ifa What on earth was she thinking? She shook her head and her curls bounced in her face like so many light slaps. Pull yourself together. Of course she wouldn't marry Adam if she weren't being forced into it by a parcel of well-intentioned and extremely stubborn seniors.

Adam held the bag containing his gun close to his chest as he scanned the area, and she almost giggled with latent hysteria. Talk about a shotgun wedding.

The foyer had two banks of slot machines, and a couple of newlyweds were pus.h.i.+ng quarters in faster than they could lose them.

"Now," Sadie said, pulling her attention away from the binging and bonging of the machines, "the men will sort out the details. There's a bride's dressing room down this way." She pointed to a sign.

The faint hope Gretchen cherished of her new friends giving her any privacy was soon squelched. They followed her in as full of giggles and excitement as any bridesmaids. Gretchen was suddenly filled with affection and gave them each a warm hug when they were alone in the room. It wasn't large, but there was a closet, an ornate settee, a huge makeup table complete with vanity lighting, and a washroom with shower. Sadly, however, it had no window she could climb out.

"We've got half an hour," said Sadie. "Let's get started. "

"I need a shower," Gretchen said, feeling she could cope with this nightmare better if she was at least clean.