The Complete Poetical Works of Samuel Taylor Coleridge Volume I Part 134

So two nights pa.s.sed: the night's dismay Saddened and stunned the coming day.

Sleep, the wide blessing, seemed to me 35 Distemper's worst calamity.

The third night, when my own loud scream Had waked me from the fiendish dream, O'ercome with sufferings strange and wild, I wept as I had been a child; 40 And having thus by tears subdued My anguish to a milder mood, Such punishments, I said, were due To natures deepliest stained with sin,-- For aye entempesting anew 45 The unfathomable h.e.l.l within, The horror of their deeds to view, To know and loathe, yet wish and do!

Such griefs with such men well agree, But wherefore, wherefore fall on me? 50 To be beloved is all I need, And whom I love, I love indeed.

1803.

FOOTNOTES:

[389:1] First published, together with _Christabel_, in 1816: included in 1828, 1829, i. 334-6 (but not in _Contents_), and 1834. A first draft of these lines was sent in a Letter to Southey, Sept. 11, 1803 (_Letters of S. T. C._, 1895, i. 435-7), An amended version of lines 18-32 was included in an unpublished Letter to Poole, dated Oct. 3, 1803.

LINENOTES:

[1] Ere] When MS. Letter to Southey, Sept. 11, 1803.

[9] sense] _sense_ MS. Letter to Southey, 1816, 1828, 1829.

[10] sense] _sense_ MS. Letter to Southey.

[12] Since round me, in me, everywhere MS. Letter to Southey.

[13] Wisdom] Goodness MS. Letter to Southey.

[16] Up-starting] Awaking MS. Letter to Southey.

[Between 18-26]

Desire with loathing strangely mixt, On wild or hateful objects fixt.

Sense of revenge, the powerless will, Still baffled and consuming still; Sense of intolerable wrong, And men whom I despis'd made strong!

Vain-glorious threats, unmanly vaunting, Bad men my boasts and fury taunting: Rage, sensual pa.s.sion, mad'ning Brawl,

MS. Letter to Southey.

[18] trampling] ghastly MS. Letter to Poole, Oct. 3, 1803.

[19] intolerable] insufferable MS. Letter to Poole.

[20] those] they MS. Letter to Poole.

[Between 22-4]

Tempestuous pride, vain-glorious vaunting Base men my vices justly taunting

MS. Letter to Poole.

[27] which] that MS. Letters to Southey and Poole.

[28] could] might MS. Letters to Southey and Poole.

[30] For all was Horror, Guilt, and Woe MS. Letter to Southey: For all was Guilt, and Shame, and Woe MS. Letter to Poole.

[33] So] Thus MS. Letter to Southey.

[34] coming] boding MS. Letter to Southey.

[35-6]

I fear'd to sleep: sleep seem'd to be Disease's worst malignity

MS. Letter to Southey.

[38] waked] freed MS. Letter to Southey.

[39] O'ercome by sufferings dark and wild MS. Letter to Southey.

[42] anguish] Trouble MS. Letter to Southey.

[43] said] thought MS. Letter to Southey.

[45-6]

Still to be stirring up anew The self-created h.e.l.l within

MS. Letter to Southey.

[47] their deeds] the crimes MS. Letter to Southey.

[48] and] to MS. Letter to Southey.

[Between 48-51]

With such let fiends make mockery-- But I--Oh, wherefore this _on me_?

Frail is my soul, yea, strengthless wholly, Unequal, restless, melancholy.

But free from Hate and sensual Folly.

MS. Letter to Southey.

[51] be] live MS. Letter to Southey.

[After 52] And etc., etc., etc., etc. MS. Letter to Southey.

THE EXCHANGE[391:1]