The Hotel New Hampshire Part 24

'Sorrow is not to leave your room, Egg,' Mother said. 'I don't like to be startled startled,' she said, 'and if Sorrow leaves this room - if I see him anyplace but where I expect to see him, which is right here - then that's it, then he's gone for good.'

'Right,' said Egg. 'But can I take him to Vienna? When we go, I mean - can Sorrow come?'

'I suppose he'll have have to come,' Mother said. Her voice had the same resignation in it that I'd heard in her voice in my dream - when Mother had said, 'No more bears,' and then drifted away on the white sloop. to come,' Mother said. Her voice had the same resignation in it that I'd heard in her voice in my dream - when Mother had said, 'No more bears,' and then drifted away on the white sloop.

'Holy cow,' said Junior Jones, when he saw Sorrow sitting on Egg's bed, one of Mother's shawls around Sorrow's shoulders, Egg's baseball cap on Sorrow's head. Franny had brought Junior to the hotel to see Frank's miracle. Harold Swallow had come along with Junior, but Harold was lost somewhere; he'd made a wrong turn on the second floor, and rather than come into our apartment, he was wandering around the hotel. I was trying to work at my desk - I was studying for my German exam, and was trying not to ask Frank for help. Franny and Junior Jones went off looking for Harold, and Egg decided against Sorrow's present costume; he undressed the dog and started over.

Then Harold Swallow found his way to our door and peered in at Egg and me - and at Sorrow sitting naked on Egg's bed. Harold had never seen Sorrow before - dead or alive - and he called the dog over to the doorway.

'Here, dog!' he called. 'Come here! Come on!'

Sorrow sat smiling at Harold, his tail itching to wag - but motionless.

'Come on! Here, doggy!' Harold cried. 'Good dog, nice doggy!'

'He's supposed to stay in this room,' Egg informed Harold Swallow.

'Oh,' said Harold, with an impressive roll of his eyes to me. 'Well, he's very well behaved,' Harold Swallow said. 'He ain't budging, is he?'

And I went to take Harold Swallow down to the restaurant, where Junior and Franny were looking for him; I saw no reason to tell Harold that Sorrow was dead.

'That your little brother?' Harold asked me, about Egg.

'Right,' I said.

'And you got a nice dog, too,' Harold said.

's.h.i.+t,' Junior Jones said to me, later; we were standing outside the gymnasium, which the Dairy School had tried to decorate like a building of parliament - for the weekend of Junior's graduation. 's.h.i.+t,' Junior said, 'I'm really worried about Franny.'

'Why?' I asked.

'Something's bothering her,' Junior said. 'She won't sleep with me,' he said. 'Not even as just a way of saying good-bye, or something. She won't even do it once once! Sometimes I think she doesn't trust trust me,' Junior said. me,' Junior said.

'Well,' I said. 'Franny's only sixteen, you know.'

'Well, she's an old old sixteen, you know,' he said. 'I wish you'd speak to her.' sixteen, you know,' he said. 'I wish you'd speak to her.'

'Me?' I said. 'What should I say?'

'I wish you'd ask her why she won't sleep with me,' Junior Jones said.

's.h.i.+t,' I said, but I asked her - later: when the Dairy School was empty, when Junior Jones had gone home for the summer (to whip himself into shape for playing football at Penn State), when the old campus, and especially the path through the woods that the football players always used, reminded Franny and me of what seemed like years ago (to us). 'Why didn't you ever sleep with Junior Jones?' I asked her.

'I'm only sixteen, John,' Franny said.

'Well, you're an old old sixteen, you know,' I said, not exactly sure what this might mean. Franny shrugged, of course. sixteen, you know,' I said, not exactly sure what this might mean. Franny shrugged, of course.

'Look at it this way,' she said. 'I'll see Junior again; we're going to write letters, and all that. We're staying friends. Now, someday - when I'm older, and if we do do stay friends - it might be the perfect thing to do: to sleep with him. I wouldn't want to have used it up.' stay friends - it might be the perfect thing to do: to sleep with him. I wouldn't want to have used it up.'

'Why couldn't you sleep with him twice twice?' I asked her.

'You don't get it,' she said.

I was thinking it had to do with her having been raped, but Franny could always read me like a book.

'No, kid,' she said. 'It's got nothing to do with being raped. Sleeping with someone is very different - provided it means means something. I just don't know what it would something. I just don't know what it would mean mean - with Junior. Not yet. - with Junior. Not yet. Also Also,' she said, with a big sigh - and she paused. 'Also,' she said, 'I don't have exactly a lot of experience, but it seems that once someone - or some some people - get to have you, you don't ever hear from them again.' people - get to have you, you don't ever hear from them again.'

Now, it seemed to me, she had had to be talking about her rape; I was confused. I said, 'Who do you mean, Franny?' And she bit her lip a while. to be talking about her rape; I was confused. I said, 'Who do you mean, Franny?' And she bit her lip a while.

Then she said, 'It surprises me that I have not heard one word - not a single word - from Chipper Dove. Can you imagine that?' she asked. 'All this time and not one word.'

Now I was really really confused; it seemed amazing to me that she would have thought she'd confused; it seemed amazing to me that she would have thought she'd ever ever hear from hear from him him. I couldn't think of anything to say, except a stupid joke, so I said. 'Well, Franny, I don't suppose you've written to him, either.'

Twice,' Franny said. 'I think that's enough.'

'Enough?' I cried. 'Why the f.u.c.k did you write him at all all?' I yelled.

She looked surprised. 'Why, to tell him how I was, and what I was doing,' she said. I just stared at her, and she looked away. 'I was in love love with him, John,' she whispered to me. with him, John,' she whispered to me.

'Chipper Dove raped you, Franny,' I said. 'Dove and Chester Pulaski and Lenny Metz - they gang-banged you.'

'It's not necessary to say that,' she snapped at me. 'I'm talking about Chipper Dove,' she said. 'Just him.'

'He raped you,' I said.

'I was in love with him,' she said, keeping her back to me. 'You don't understand. I was in love love - and maybe I still am,' she said. 'Now,' she added, brightly, 'would you like to tell Junior - and maybe I still am,' she said. 'Now,' she added, brightly, 'would you like to tell Junior that that? Do you think I I should tell Junior that?' she asked. 'Wouldn't Junior just love that?' she asked. should tell Junior that?' she asked. 'Wouldn't Junior just love that?' she asked.

'No,' I said.

'No, I thought not, too,' Franny said. 'So I just thought that - under the circ.u.mstances - I wouldn't sleep with him. Okay?' she asked.

'Okay,' I said, but I wanted to tell her that certainly Chipper Dove had not loved her her.

'Don't tell me,' Franny said. 'Don't tell me that he didn't love me me. I think I know. But do you know what?' she asked me. 'One day,' Franny said, 'Chipper Dove might fall in love with me. And you know what?' she asked.

'No,' I said.

'Maybe if that happens, if if he falls in love with me,' Franny said, 'maybe - by then - I won't love him anymore. And then I'll he falls in love with me,' Franny said, 'maybe - by then - I won't love him anymore. And then I'll really really get him, won't I?' she asked me. I just stared at her; she was, as Junior Jones had observed, a very get him, won't I?' she asked me. I just stared at her; she was, as Junior Jones had observed, a very old old sixteen indeed. sixteen indeed.

I felt suddenly that we all couldn't get to Vienna soon enough - that we all needed time to grow older, and wiser (if that's what really was involved in the process). I know that I wanted a chance to pull even with Franny, if not ever ahead of her, and I thought I needed a new hotel for that.

It suddenly occurred to me that Franny might have been thinking of Vienna in somewhat the same way: of using using it - to make herself smarter and tougher and (somehow) grown-up it - to make herself smarter and tougher and (somehow) grown-up enough enough for the world that neither of us understood. for the world that neither of us understood.

'Keep pa.s.sing the open windows,' was all I could say to her, at the moment. We looked at the stubbly gra.s.s on the practice field, and knew that in the fall it would be punctured everywhere with cleats, churned by knees striking the ground, and clawing fingers - and that, this this fall, we would not be in Dairy to see it, or to look away from it. Somewhere else all that - or something like it - would be going on, and we would be watching, or taking part in, whatever it was. fall, we would not be in Dairy to see it, or to look away from it. Somewhere else all that - or something like it - would be going on, and we would be watching, or taking part in, whatever it was.

I took Franny's hand and we walked along the path the football players always used, pausing only briefly by the turn we remembered - the way into the woods, where the ferns were; we didn't need to see them. 'Bye-bye,' Franny whispered to that holy and unholy place; I squeezed her hand - she squeezed back, then she broke our grip - and we tried to speak only German to each other, all the way back to the Hotel New Hamps.h.i.+re. It would be our new language very soon, after all, and we weren't very good at it. We both knew that we needed to get better in order to be free of Frank.

Frank was taking his hea.r.s.e-driving tour through the trees when we returned to Elliot Park. 'Want a lesson?' he asked Franny. She shrugged, and Mother sent them both on an errand - Franny driving, Frank praying and flinching beside her.

That night, when I went to bed, Egg had put Sorrow in my bed - and dressed him in my running clothes. Getting Sorrow out of my bed - and getting Sorrow's hair hair out of my bed - I thoroughly woke myself up again. I went down to the restaurant and bar to read. Max Urick was having a drink, sitting in one of the screwed-down chairs. out of my bed - I thoroughly woke myself up again. I went down to the restaurant and bar to read. Max Urick was having a drink, sitting in one of the screwed-down chairs.

'How many times did old Schnitzler give it to Jeanette What's Her Name?' Max asked me.

'Four hundred and sixty-four,' I said.

'Isn't that something!' he cried.

When Max stumbled upstairs to bed, I sat listening to Mrs. Urick putting away some pans. Ronda Ray was not around; she was out - or maybe she was in; it hardly mattered. It was too dark to take a run - and Franny was asleep, so I couldn't lift weights. Sorrow had ruined my bed for a while, so I just tried to read. It was a book about the 1918 flu - about all the famous and the unfamous people who were wiped out by it. It seemed like one of the saddest times in Vienna. Gustav Klimt, who once called his own work "Pig s.h.i.+t," died; he had been Schiele's teacher. Schiele's wife died - her name was Edith - and then Schiele himself died, when he was very young. I read a whole chapter in the book about what pictures Schiele might might have painted if the flu hadn't got him. I was beginning to get the rather fuzzy idea that the whole book was about what Vienna might have become if the flu hadn't come to town, when Lilly woke me up. have painted if the flu hadn't got him. I was beginning to get the rather fuzzy idea that the whole book was about what Vienna might have become if the flu hadn't come to town, when Lilly woke me up.

'Why aren't you sleeping in your room?' she asked. I explained about Sorrow.

'I can't sleep because I can't imagine what my room over there over there is going to be like,' Lilly explained. I told her about the 1918 flu, but she wasn't interested. 'I'm worried,' Lilly admitted. 'I'm worried about the violence.' is going to be like,' Lilly explained. I told her about the 1918 flu, but she wasn't interested. 'I'm worried,' Lilly admitted. 'I'm worried about the violence.'

'What violence?' I asked her. violence?' I asked her.

'In Freud's hotel,' Lilly said. 'There's going to be violence.'

'Why, Lilly?' I asked.

's.e.x and violence,' Lilly said.

'You mean the wh.o.r.es?' I asked her.

'The climate climate of them,' Lilly said, sitting pretty in one of the screwed-down chairs, rocking slightly in her seat -her feet, of course, not reaching the floor. of them,' Lilly said, sitting pretty in one of the screwed-down chairs, rocking slightly in her seat -her feet, of course, not reaching the floor.

'The climate of wh.o.r.es?' I said.

The climate of s.e.x and violence,' Lilly said. That's what it sounds like to me. That whole city,' she said. 'Look at Rudolf - killing his girl friend, then killing himself.'

'That was in the last century, Lilly,' I reminded her.

'And that man who f.u.c.ked that woman four hundred and sixty-four times,' Lilly said.

'Schnitzler,' I said. 'Almost a century ago, Lilly.'

'It's probably worse now,' Lilly said. 'Most things are.'

That would have been Frank - who told her that - I knew.

'And the flu,' said Lilly, 'and the wars. And the Hungarians,' she said. the wars. And the Hungarians,' she said.

'The revolution?' I asked her. 'That was last year, Lilly.'

'And all the rape in the Russian Sector,' Lilly said. 'Franny will get raped again. Or I will,' she said, adding, 'if someone small small enough catches me.' enough catches me.'

'The occupation is over,' I said.

'A violent climate,' Lilly repeated. 'All the repressed s.e.xuality.'

'That's the other other Freud, Lilly,' I said. Freud, Lilly,' I said.

'And what will the bear do?' Lilly asked. 'A hotel with wh.o.r.es and bears and spies.'

'Not spies spies, Lilly,' I said. I knew she meant the East-West relations people. 'I think they're just intellectuals,' I told her, but this didn't appear to comfort her; she shook her head.

'I can't stand violence,' Lilly said. 'And Vienna reeks reeks of it,' she said; it was as if she'd been studying the tourist map and had found all the corners where Junior Jones's of it,' she said; it was as if she'd been studying the tourist map and had found all the corners where Junior Jones's gangs gangs hung out. The whole place hung out. The whole place shouts shouts of violence,' Lilly said. 'It absolutely of violence,' Lilly said. 'It absolutely broadcasts broadcasts it,' Lilly said; it was as if she had taken these words into her mouth to suck on them: it,' Lilly said; it was as if she had taken these words into her mouth to suck on them: reeks, shouts, broadcasts reeks, shouts, broadcasts. The whole idea of going over there just s.h.i.+vers s.h.i.+vers with violence,' Lilly said, s.h.i.+vering. Her tiny knees gripped the seat of the screwed-down chair, her slender legs whipped back and forth, violently fanning the floor. She was only eleven, and I wondered where she'd found all the with violence,' Lilly said, s.h.i.+vering. Her tiny knees gripped the seat of the screwed-down chair, her slender legs whipped back and forth, violently fanning the floor. She was only eleven, and I wondered where she'd found all the words words she used, and why her imagination seemed much older than she was. Why were the women in our family either wise, like Mother, or an ' she used, and why her imagination seemed much older than she was. Why were the women in our family either wise, like Mother, or an 'old sixteen' - as Junior Jones said of Franny - or like Lilly: small and soft, but bright beyond her years? Why should sixteen' - as Junior Jones said of Franny - or like Lilly: small and soft, but bright beyond her years? Why should they they get all the brains? I wondered, thinking of Father; although Mother and Father were both thirty-seven, Father seemed ten years younger to me - 'and ten years dumber,' Franny said. And what was get all the brains? I wondered, thinking of Father; although Mother and Father were both thirty-seven, Father seemed ten years younger to me - 'and ten years dumber,' Franny said. And what was I I? I wondered, because Franny - and even Lilly - made me feel I would be fifteen forever. And Egg was immature - a seven-year-old with five-year-old habits. And Frank was Frank, the King of Mice, able to bring back dogs from the dead, able to master a different language, and able to put the oddities of history to his personal use; but in spite of his obvious abilities, I felt that Frank - in many other categories - was operating with a mental age of four. wondered, because Franny - and even Lilly - made me feel I would be fifteen forever. And Egg was immature - a seven-year-old with five-year-old habits. And Frank was Frank, the King of Mice, able to bring back dogs from the dead, able to master a different language, and able to put the oddities of history to his personal use; but in spite of his obvious abilities, I felt that Frank - in many other categories - was operating with a mental age of four.

Lilly sat with her head down and her little legs swinging. 'I like like the Hotel New Hamps.h.i.+re,' Lilly said. 'In fact, I the Hotel New Hamps.h.i.+re,' Lilly said. 'In fact, I love love it; I don't want to leave here,' she said, the predictable tears in her eyes. I gave her a hug and picked her up; I could have bench-pressed Lilly while the seasons changed. I carried her back to her room. it; I don't want to leave here,' she said, the predictable tears in her eyes. I gave her a hug and picked her up; I could have bench-pressed Lilly while the seasons changed. I carried her back to her room.

'Think of it this way,' I told her. 'We'll just be going to another another Hotel New Hamps.h.i.+re, Lilly. The same thing, but another country.' But Lilly cried and cried. Hotel New Hamps.h.i.+re, Lilly. The same thing, but another country.' But Lilly cried and cried.

'I'd rather stay with the circus called Fritz's Act,' she bawled. 'I'd rather stay with them, and I don't even know what they do do!'

Soon we would would know what they did, of course. Too soon. It was summer, then, and before we were packed - before we'd even made the airplane reservations - the four-foot forty-one-year-old named Frederick 'Fritz' Worter paid us a visit. There were some papers to sign, and some of the other members of Fritz's Act wished to have a look at their future home. know what they did, of course. Too soon. It was summer, then, and before we were packed - before we'd even made the airplane reservations - the four-foot forty-one-year-old named Frederick 'Fritz' Worter paid us a visit. There were some papers to sign, and some of the other members of Fritz's Act wished to have a look at their future home.

One morning, when Egg was sleeping beside Sorrow, I looked out our window at Elliot Park. At first nothing seemed strange; some men and women were getting out of a Volkswagen bus. They were all, more or less, the same size. We were still a hotel, after all, and I thought they might be guests. Then I realized that there were five five women and women and eight eight men - yet they quite comfortably spilled out of one Volkswagen bus - and when I recognized Frederick 'Fritz' Worter as one of them, I realized that they were all the same size as men - yet they quite comfortably spilled out of one Volkswagen bus - and when I recognized Frederick 'Fritz' Worter as one of them, I realized that they were all the same size as him him.

Max Urick, who'd been shaving while looking out his fourth-floor window, screamed and cut himself. 'A f.u.c.king busload busload of midgets,' he told us later. 'It's not what you expect to see when you're just getting up.' of midgets,' he told us later. 'It's not what you expect to see when you're just getting up.'

It is impossible to say what Ronda Ray might have done, or said, if she had seen them; but Ronda was still in bed. Franny, and my barbells, were lying untouched in Franny's room; Frank - whether he was dreaming, studying German, or reading about Vienna - was in a world of his own. Egg was sleeping with Sorrow, and Mother and Father - who would be embarra.s.sed about it, later - were having fun in old 3E.

I ran into Lilly's room, knowing she would want to see the arrival of at least the human human part of Fritz's Act, but Lilly was already awake and watching them through her window; she was wearing an old-fas.h.i.+oned nightgown that Mother had bought her in an antique store - it completely enveloped Lilly - and she was hugging her Raggedy Ann doll to her chest. 'It's a part of Fritz's Act, but Lilly was already awake and watching them through her window; she was wearing an old-fas.h.i.+oned nightgown that Mother had bought her in an antique store - it completely enveloped Lilly - and she was hugging her Raggedy Ann doll to her chest. 'It's a small small circus, just like Mr. Worter said,' Lilly whispered, adoringly. In Elliot Park we watched the midgets gathering beside the Volkswagen bus; they were stretching and yawning; one of the men did a handstand; one of the women did a cartwheel. One of them started moving on all fours, like a chimpanzee, but Fritz clapped his hands, scolding such foolishness; they drew together, like a miniature football team having a huddle (with two extra players); then they started marching, in an orderly fas.h.i.+on, toward our lobby door. circus, just like Mr. Worter said,' Lilly whispered, adoringly. In Elliot Park we watched the midgets gathering beside the Volkswagen bus; they were stretching and yawning; one of the men did a handstand; one of the women did a cartwheel. One of them started moving on all fours, like a chimpanzee, but Fritz clapped his hands, scolding such foolishness; they drew together, like a miniature football team having a huddle (with two extra players); then they started marching, in an orderly fas.h.i.+on, toward our lobby door.

Lilly went to let them in; I went to the switchboard to make the announcement. To 3E, for example: 'New owners arriving - all thirteen of them. Over and out.' To Frank: 'Guten Morgen! Fritz's Act ist hier angekommen ist hier angekommen. Wachs du auf Wachs du auf!' And to Franny: 'Midgets! Go wake up Egg so he won't be frightened; he'll think he dreamed dreamed them. Tell him thirteen midgets are here, but it's safe!' them. Tell him thirteen midgets are here, but it's safe!'

Then I ran up to Ronda Ray's room; I was better at giving her messages in person. They're here here!' I whispered, outside her door.

'Keep running, John-O,' Ronda said.

'There's thirteen of them,' I said. 'Only five women and eight eight men,' I said. There's at least three men for you!' men,' I said. There's at least three men for you!'

'What size size are they?' Ronda Ray asked. are they?' Ronda Ray asked.

'That's a surprise,' I said. 'Come see.'

'Keep running,' Ronda said. 'All of you - keep running.' of you - keep running.'

Max Urick went and hid with Mrs. Urick in the kitchen; they were shy about being introduced, but Father dragged them out to meet the midgets, and Mrs. Urick marched the midgets through her kitchen - showing off her stockpots, and how plain-but-good everything smelled.

'They are are small,' Mrs. Urick conceded later, 'but there's a lot of them; they'll have to eat small,' Mrs. Urick conceded later, 'but there's a lot of them; they'll have to eat something something.'

'They'll never reach all the lights,' Max Urick said. 'I'll have to change all the switches.' Grumpily, he moved off the fourth floor. It was clear that the fourth floor was the one the midgets wanted - 'suited to their tiny was.h.i.+ng and tiny peeing,' Max grumbled, but not around Lilly. Franny thought Max was only angry that he was moving closer to Mrs. Urick; but he moved no nearer to her than the third floor, where, (I imagined), he would be forever blessed to hear the patter of little feet above him.

'Where will the animals go?' Lilly asked Mr. Worter. Fritz explained that the circus would use the Hotel New Hamps.h.i.+re only for their summer quarters; the animals would stay outside.

'What kind of animals are they?' Egg asked, clutching Sorrow to his chest.

'Live ones,' said one of the lady midgets, who was about Egg's size and appeared to be intrigued with Sorrow; she kept patting him. ones,' said one of the lady midgets, who was about Egg's size and appeared to be intrigued with Sorrow; she kept patting him.