Harper's Round Table, May 7, 1895 Part 15

and accurate Memory work is a most excellent thing, whether in School or out of it, among all ages and all cla.s.ses. But let that which is so learned be worth learning and worth retaining. The Franklin Square Song Collection presents a large number of

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Harper & Brothers, New York.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

[Ill.u.s.tration: SISTER SUE'S DREAM ABOUT BROTHER TOMMY.]

AN IRON PLUM.

The London coster has become a very interesting character, and many songs, and good ones too, have been written about his virtues and his weaknesses. Some of these street venders have made fortunes, and have retired to live the balance of their days in ease. One of these retired gentlemen was interviewed not long ago by a London newspaper, and in the course of the talk he showed how some of them had managed to grow rich so speedily.

"The costers wot sold plums made the money," he said, "an' a bloomin'

big part of it came from wot they calls the iron plum. A fair take in that was. You wouldn't have known it from a real 'un--colored just the same, and with a good bloom on it. Course you took care to keep it close at hand, and at your side of the heap you was selling from. 'Come and have lumping weight,' says you, and you popped the iron 'un in among the others, and wallop went the scale, with p'r'haps no more than half a p'und instead of a p'und in.

"All you had to do was to take just one--the one, as being rather too much of a good thing in the way of overweight, just as you were handing the plums to the customer, and the trick was done. It was bowled out, though, in a rum sort o' way before it had been in use long enough to do any of 'em so much good. I had a pitch in Leather Lane at the time, and it being plum season, I was working the bullet, as we used to call it, and so was the woman who kept the stall next to me. There used to be a beadle sort of chap to keep order in the lane, and he was always uncommon handy at spotting the finest fruit on a man's barrow and whipping it into his mouth without so much as asking for it. Course you couldn't say anything against it, or you might set up his back against you. So one day he was coming round as usual, and he spies that particler fine black plum on the woman's stall, and before she could prevent it he had hold of it. I s'pose it was her pouncing on him so quick confused him, and prewented him feeling the extra weight of it.

'Don't take that 'un, Mr. Grabb.u.m,' she said; 'it isn't ripe. Let me pick you out a ripe 'un.' But old Grabb.u.m he only grinned and winked, and popped it into his mouth. But he didn't keep it there long. He made one bite at it, and then he began to dance and splutter, which, being an uncommon thing for a beadle to do, soon brought a crowd round him. But it was wuss than we had first thought it was. We didn't know that the greedy old warment had false teeth, but he had, and he broke 'em all to s.h.i.+vereens along with the iron plum, which fell with such a whack on the pavement that there was no mistaking what it was made for."

A SMALL BOY'S ANSWER.

At a country school in England it is said that one of the examiners in a general exercise wrote the word "dozen" on the blackboard, and asked the pupils to each write a sentence containing the word. He was somewhat taken aback to find on one of the papers the following sentence, "I dozen know my lesson."

A STUPID BUTLER

Spanish people seem to suffer from the stupidity of some of their servants as much as we do in America, if the following story, which appeared in a Madrid journal, is true. It seems that a lady ordered her butler one morning to tell all visitors that she was not at home. At night, when enumerating the persons who had called during the day, he mentioned the lady's sister, when his mistress exclaimed: "I told you, man, that I was always at home for my sister! You ought to have shown her in."

Next day the lady went out to make a few calls, and during her absence her sister came to the house.

"Is your mistress at home?" she asked the butler.

"Yes, madam," was his reply.

The lady went up stairs, and looked everywhere for her sister. On coming down stairs she said to the butler, "My sister must have gone out, for I could not find her."

"Yes, madam, she has gone out, but she told me last night that she was always at home for you."

STRUCK TOO SOON.

Napoleon Bonaparte at one time contemplated an invasion of England, and so certain was he of success that he had a medal struck in Paris in honor of the event. Only one specimen has been left to posterity, because at the failure of the bold enterprise he expressly ordered the medals and dies to be destroyed. On one side is the Emperor's half-length portrait, on the reverse is the image of Hercules stifling the giant Antaeus in his arms. On the top are the words, "Descente en Angleterre," and underneath, "Frappe a Londres" (Struck in London). This remarkable bit of coinage is said to be still preserved in the Paris Mint.

AN INDEPENDENT BARBER.

Here is an entertaining story about a Frenchman who was too proud to do things which were against his principles. The story is vouched for as an actual fact by the man to whom the incident happened. While travelling in Europe he stopped overnight at Caen, and noting that his hair was unduly long he went to have it cut by the local barber. He told the barber to take off very little, but before the scissors had been at work many seconds he noticed a favorite lock fall on to the calico jacket in which he had been arrayed. Whereupon he reproved the barber for not following his instructions, upon which the man observed, in mingled tones of reproach and dismay,

"Monsieur must permit me to do my work in the way which seems best to me; and what is more, I shall take off some more."

"Not at all," said the traveller; "I tell you I want very little taken off, and must insist upon your doing as I direct you."

The barber, however, was not to be put down in this way, and said, "Monsieur, it is possible that this is how things may be done in England, but here in France we are not slaves. I shall cut off as much as I please."