Dick Merriwell's Pranks Part 59

"If this ever gets out, my reputation is blasted," sighed the professor; "but I see no other way to escape from these creatures. I'll have to submit."

He signified his willingness, whereupon both favorites again clasped him about the neck with an arm, while they prepared to lift their veils with their free hands.

"Here goes!" he muttered, turning to Fraud.

She lifted her veil.

A squawk of astonishment and horror burst from Professor Gunn, for Fraud was black as midnight, with huge red lips, which were parted in a horrible grin. Bra.s.s rings dangled from her ears and her nose.

"Heavens and earth deliver me!" panted the professor.

Then he turned and saw the face of Fake. It was that of an old, haglike creature, wrinkled and hideous, while her mouth was filled with horrible black teeth.

A shriek escaped the old man. Like a maniac he tore himself free from their clutches.

"Help! Murder!" he yelled.

"Come back, old Lobster!" they implored.

But he scrambled to his feet and fled from the room, yelling for a.s.sistance at every step, and pursued by a burst of laughter from the dancing girls.

The professor rushed from the room and into the arms of John Coddington and Colonel Stringer. They grasped him and held fast.

"Let go!" he shouted. "Don't let those creatures catch me! Let go!"

"Well, by Jove!" drawled Coddington. "The man is crazy, don't you know!"

"What's the matter with yo', professah?" asked the colonel, in apparent amazement. "Have yo' lost your senses, suh?"

"How dare you insult the favorites of the harem by running away from them in such a manner?" sternly demanded the Englishman.

"Insult them!" snarled Zenas, glaring at Coddington as if he longed to throttle the man. "How dare you insult me by putting such hideous hags onto me?"

"Hideous hags? Sir, those are the most beautiful ladies in all Cairo, by Jove!"

"Beautiful! They would frighten a mummy into a fit! They would give a dog hydrophobia."

"Suh," said Colonel Stringer, "I am astonished, suh! My friend Coddington is a fine judge of feminine beauty."

"Bah!" sneered Zenas. "Bah! bah! I've seen his beauties, and they are horrible things! Let me get out of this house! I wish never to see the interior of another harem! A man who would have more than one wife is insane. And a man who thinks such creatures as those beautiful ought to be locked fast in a home for incurable imbeciles! You're an imbecile, Coddington-that's my opinion of you! Don't talk back! Don't open your mouth! Want to sell your harem, do you? I don't wonder! You ought to pay somebody about ten million dollars to take it-and then he'd get stuck!

Good day, sir! I tell you not to attempt to detain me a moment! I am going now!"

And go he did, hurrying forth from the house with trembling steps and almost running until he was far from that vicinity.

Barely had the professor left the front door when the two "favorites"

appeared, both convulsed with laughter.

They were d.i.c.k Merriwell and Brad Buckhart, the former having posed as Fraud, while the latter had given his name as Fake.

"Oh, great horn spoon!" gasped Buckhart, "I certain won't get over this in a year!"

"I think the professor has been taught a splendid lesson," laughed d.i.c.k.

"The game worked like a charm."

"I should say it did!" agreed Coddington, who was also laughing. "We watched it all. We were behind some curtains, and we dodged out just in time to get ahead of the professor when he took flight. It was deucedly funny, don't you know. You boys did your parts very cleverly."

"Did you see d.i.c.k remove the professor's wig?" laughed the Texan. "I thought I'd blow up then, but it gave me an idea, and I managed to get my digits into his mouth and yank out the upper layer of his store teeth."

"And then I was on the point of blowing up," confessed d.i.c.k. "But the professor was so excited he didn't notice it."

"The climax came when yo' invited him to kiss yo'," grinned Colonel Stringer. "He'll be ready to shoot me now."

"Don't you think it," said d.i.c.k. "He'll be round begging you to keep still about it. He'll be humble enough."

"We're very much obliged to you, Mr. Coddington, for your a.s.sistance,"

said d.i.c.k. "If you'll give us a bill of expenses, I'll settle it. If Colonel Stringer hadn't known you, I fear we could not have carried out the plan after we formed it."

"Oh, the expense was nothing compared with the sport I've had," a.s.serted the Englishman.

"But you had to engage the dancing girls."

"They are professionals, and their services cost a mere nothing. It's not worth mentioning."

"Oh, yes it is. Then there was the costumer. You had to pay him. I insist on settling the bill."

Coddington did his best to get out of taking anything, but d.i.c.k was obdurate and finally compelled the Englishman to state the full expense of the affair, which he paid.

It was nearly an hour later when the boys reappeared at the Shepherd's Hotel, having washed off their make-ups and donned their usual attire.

They found the professor, looking pale and wan, pacing the floor of his room, which adjoined theirs. The old man noted their entrance, and paused to peer at them suspiciously.

"Where have you been, boys?" he asked.

"Oh, out for a little airing," answered d.i.c.k, carelessly. "Did you enjoy the afternoon, professor?"

"Well-er-ah-I can't truthfully say that I did," confessed the old pedagogue.

"That was too bad. Why didn't you enjoy it?"

"Ahem! I can't explain, boys. Don't ask foolish questions."

"But didn't you see that collection of old relics?"

"I did-I saw it!"

"And you were disappointed in it?"

"Very much so."