A Wodehouse Miscellany: Articles & Stories Part 15

"I fancy, sir, that this must be the key you require. It was in the pocket of your evening trousers."

It was Jeeves. He had s.h.i.+mmered in, carrying my evening things, and was standing there holding out the key. I could have ma.s.sacred the man.

"Thank you," said my uncle.

"Not at all, sir."

The next moment Uncle Willoughby had opened the drawer. I shut my eyes.

"No," said Uncle Willoughby, "there is nothing here. The drawer is empty. Thank you, Bertie. I hope I have not disturbed you. I fancy--er--Berkeley must have taken his case with him after all."

When he had gone I shut the door carefully. Then I turned to Jeeves.

The man was putting my evening things out on a chair.

"Er--Jeeves!"

"Sir?"

"Oh, nothing."

It was deuced difficult to know how to begin.

"Er--Jeeves!"

"Sir?"

"Did you--Was there--Have you by chance----"

"I removed the parcel this morning, sir."

"Oh--ah--why?"

"I considered it more prudent, sir."

I mused for a while.

"Of course, I suppose all this seems tolerably rummy to you, Jeeves?"

"Not at all, sir. I chanced to overhear you and Lady Florence speaking of the matter the other evening, sir."

"Did you, by Jove?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well--er--Jeeves, I think that, on the whole, if you were to--as it were--freeze on to that parcel until we get back to London----"

"Exactly, sir."

"And then we might--er--so to speak--chuck it away somewhere--what?"

"Precisely, sir."

"I'll leave it in your hands."

"Entirely, sir."

"You know, Jeeves, you're by way of being rather a topper."

"I endeavour to give satisfaction, sir."

"One in a million, by Jove!"

"It is very kind of you to say so, sir."

"Well, that's about all, then, I think."

"Very good, sir."

Florence came back on Monday. I didn't see her till we were all having tea in the hall. It wasn't till the crowd had cleared away a bit that we got a chance of having a word together.

"Well, Bertie?" she said.

"It's all right."

"You have destroyed the ma.n.u.script?"

"Not exactly; but----"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I haven't absolutely----"

"Bertie, your manner is furtive!"

"It's all right. It's this way----"

And I was just going to explain how things stood when out of the library came leaping Uncle Willoughby looking as braced as a two-year-old. The old boy was a changed man.

"A most remarkable thing, Bertie! I have just been speaking with Mr.

Riggs on the telephone, and he tells me he received my ma.n.u.script by the first post this morning. I cannot imagine what can have caused the delay. Our postal facilities are extremely inadequate in the rural districts. I shall write to headquarters about it. It is insufferable if valuable parcels are to be delayed in this fas.h.i.+on."

I happened to be looking at Florence's profile at the moment, and at this juncture she swung round and gave me a look that went right through me like a knife. Uncle Willoughby meandered back to the library, and there was a silence that you could have dug bits out of with a spoon.

"I can't understand it," I said at last. "I can't understand it, by Jove!"

"I can. I can understand it perfectly, Bertie. Your heart failed you.

Rather than risk offending your uncle you----"

"No, no! Absolutely!"