Etiquette Part 35

The present generation is at least ahead of some of its "very proper" predecessors in that weddings do not have to be set for noon because a bridegroom's sobriety is not to be counted on later in the day! That young people of to-day prefer games to conversation scarcely proves degeneration. That they wear very few clothes is not a symptom of decline. There have always been recurring cycles of undress, followed by m.u.f.fling from shoe-soles to chin. We have not yet reached the undress of Pauline Bonaparte, so the m.u.f.fling period may not be due!

However, leaving out the mooted question whether etiquette may not soon be a subject for an obituary rather than a guide-book, one thing is certain: we have advanced prodigiously in esthetic taste.

Never in the recollection of any one now living has it been so easy to surround oneself with lovely belongings. Each year's achievement seems to stride away from that of the year before in producing woodwork, ironwork, gla.s.s, stone, print, paint and textile that is lovelier and lovelier. One can not go into the shops or pa.s.s their windows on the streets without being impressed with the ever-growing taste of their display. Nor can one look into the magazines devoted to gardens and houses and house-furnis.h.i.+ngs and fail to appreciate the increasing wealth of the beautiful in environment.

That such exquisite "best" as America possessed in her Colonial houses and gardens and furnis.h.i.+ngs should ever have been discarded for the atrocities of the period after the Civil War, is comparable to nothing but t.i.tania's Midsummer Night's Dream madness that made her believe an a.s.s's features more beautiful than those of Apollo!

Happily, however, since we never do things by halves, we are studying and cultivating and buying and making, and trying to forget and overcome that terrible marriage of our beautiful Colonial ancestress with the dark-wooded, plush-draped, jig-sawed upstart of vulgarity and ignorance. In another country her type would be lost in his, forever! But in a country that sent a million soldiers across three thousand miles of ocean, in spite of every obstacle and in the twinkling of an eye, why even comment that good taste is pouring over our land as fast as periodicals, books and manufacturers can take it. Three thousand miles east and west, two thousand miles north and south, white tiled bathrooms have sprung like mushrooms seemingly in a single night, charming houses, enchanting gardens, beautiful cities, cultivated people, created in thousands upon thousands of instances in the short span of one generation. Certain great houses abroad have consummate quality, it is true, but for every one of these, there are a thousand that are mediocre, even offensive. In our own country, beautiful houses and appointments flourish like field flowers in summer; not merely in the occasional gardens of the very rich, but everywhere.

And all this means? Merely one more incident added to the many great facts that prove us a wonderful nation. (But this is an aside merely, and not to be talked about to anyone except just ourselves!) At the same time it is no idle boast that the world is at present looking toward America; and whatever we become is bound to lower or raise the standards of life. The other countries are old, we are youth personified! We have all youth's glorious beauty and strength and vitality and courage. If we can keep these attributes and add finish and understanding and perfect taste in living and thinking, we need not dwell on the Golden Age that is past, but believe in the Golden Age that is sure to be.

!INDEX!

Acceptance of an invitation, 122-123; to a formal dinner, 187-188; to an informal dinner, 125; to a wedding, 111.

Acknowledgment of Christmas presents, 407-408; of wedding presents, 320; of messages of condolence, 406-408.

Address, forms of. See: Forms of address.

Address, notification of, 180; by bride and groom, 108-109.

Address on envelopes, 460, 486, 488; on letters, 450, 455, 460, 461; on visiting cards, 74-76.

Afternoon parties, chapter on, 165-176.

Afternoon teas. See: Teas.

Amba.s.sador, close of letter to, 456; function of in presentation at court, 609; how to address, 488; how to announce as a guest, 214; how to introduce, 4, 489.

Americans abroad, 604-616.

Announcement of a death, 390; of an engagement, 89, 304-306, 309; of a second marriage, 108; of a wedding,106-107.

Announcing dinner, 217.

Announcing guests, at afternoon tea, 167; at dinner, 214-215.

Answering the door, 145. See also: "Not at home."

Anthem, national, 23.

Apology, form of, 23-24; letters of, 462-463; at the theater, 41.

Archbishop, close of letter to, 489; how to address, 488; how to introduce, 489.

Argumentativeness, 50.

Arm, etiquette of offering and taking, 30.

Artichokes, how to eat, 583.

Asking for a dance, 267, 270.

Asparagus, how to eat, 582.

a.s.semblies, 272-275.

a.s.semblyman, 486, 487.

At home with dancing, invitations to an, 112-116.

Au revoir, avoidance of use of, 19.

Automobiles. See: Motoring; Vehicles.

Baby, clothes for, at a christening, 385; letters of thanks for gifts to, 468; training in table manners, 571.

Bachelor's apartment, tea in, 292; dinner, 230, 336-337, 375; party, 71, 296-298; theater party, 38.

Bachelor girl, 295.

Ball dress, 541, 546-547, 557, 603; in opera box, 37.

Ballroom, etiquette in, 258-262; for an afternoon tea, 167.

b.a.l.l.s, chapter on, 250-275; clothes for, 569; gloves at, 20; hand-shaking at, 20; introductions at, 10, 16; invitations to, 112-116; for a debutante, 276-279; public, 271-275.

Beginning a letter, 492-494.

Behavior, good, fundamentals of, 506-510.

Best man, 331, 344; clothes of, 333; duties of on wedding day, 345-346; during the marriage ceremony, 358, 359, 360; after the marriage ceremony, 361; in rehearsal, 341, 342; at the wedding breakfast, 368.

Best Society, chapter on, 1-3; definition of, 3.

Beverages at afternoon teas, 167, 168, 169, 170, 173, 174; at ball suppers, 257; at formal dinners, 205, 209; at luncheons, 244-245; at wedding breakfasts, 365, 368.

Big dinners, 225-226.

Birds, how to eat, 584, 585.

Bishop, close of letter to, 489; how to address, 488; how to introduce, 5, 489.

Bones, management of, at table, 583-584.

Boots, 551, 568.

Bouquet, bridal, 344, 358, 359; of bridesmaid, 328.

Boutonniere, 334, 344, 354, 357, 551, 563.

Bowing, etiquette of, 20, 21, 23, 24-27, 93, 508; at court, 610.

Bread and b.u.t.ter, how to eat, 583.

Bread and b.u.t.ter letters, 468-470.

Breakfast, invitations to, 238-239; for country house guests, 427-429; wedding, 364-368.

Bridal procession, 339-342, 357-358.

Bridal veil, 350, 351.

Bride, acknowledgment of gifts by, 320-321; acquiring of social position by, 66-68; calls of, 66; calls on, 67-91; gifts of to bridesmaids, 336; gifts to by groom, 344; giving away of, 353, 359; house of on wedding day, 347-350; letters of thanks to relatives-in-law, 471; during the marriage ceremony, 358, 359, 360; in rehearsal, 338-342; at the wedding breakfast, 362, 368; as a chaperon, 289; as a guest of honor, 11.

Bride's going away dress, 370.

Bride's mother, cards left with, 87.

Bride's parents, 340-342, 353, 357-360, 366; expenses of for wedding, 377-378.

Bride's table, 365.

Bridegroom, 341-342, 357-360; clothes of, 332, 333; expenses of, 337, 342-344, 378; as a guest of honor, 11; parents of, at wedding reception, 364; wedding given by, 316-318.

Bridegroom's mother, card left with, 87.

Bridesmaids, 328-332, 339-340, 342, 351, 353, 358-361, 368.

Bridesmaids' luncheon, 335-336.

Bridesmaids' and ushers' dinner, 336.

Bridge, 524-527; introduction at, 12; invitation to, 124, 128-129.

Buffet at afternoon teas, 167; luncheons, 248-249.

Bundles, carrying of, 29.

Burials, women at, 327.

Business etiquette, 530-539; letters, 455, 460-461; relations between men and women, 23, 506, 530-532; suits, 152, 246, 566-567, 570; visits, 15, 23, 533-534.

Butler, 142-144, 161-163, 167, 186-187, 201-202, 214, 425.

b.u.t.ter, avoidance of at formal dinner, 206, 585.

Cabaret, supper at, 293.

Cabinet, member of, close of letter to, 456, 487; how to address, 486; how to announce as a guest, 214; how to introduce, 487.

Cardinal, close of letter to, 487; how to address, 486; how to introduce, 4, 487.

Calls. See: Visits.

Camp, house party in, chapter on, 440-447; invitation to, 127.

Cards, of address, 108; of admittance to church weddings, 102; of general invitation, 118; of introduction to a club, 521; as invitations, 124, 168, 169; at funerals, 408; with gifts, 321, 322; menu, 210; place, 210; visiting, chapter on, 73-97.

Carriages. See: Vehicles.

Cars. See: Street cars; Motoring; Vehicles.

Carving, 229-230.

Cereal, how to eat, 573.

Celebrities, afternoon teas in honor of, 168.

Chaperon, 138; chapter on, 288-298; at public b.a.l.l.s, 271.

Chic woman, 542.

Chicken, how to eat, 584, 585.

Children, cards of, 78; conversation about, 49; invitations to, 459, 460; parties for, 580-581; table manners of, 571-582; training of, 587-588, 592; at afternoon tea, 579-580; on railway trains, 594.

Christenings, chapter on, 380-386.

Christmas presents, 467-468.

Church, greetings in, 19-20; leave-taking at, 20.

Church weddings, 102-103; 314-316; 339-342; invitations to, 99-100.

Cigars. See: Smoking.

Circus, etiquette at, 46.

Clergy, how to introduce, 4-5.

Clergyman, close of letter to, 456, 489; how to address, 488; how to introduce, 489; visiting card of, 78; wedding fee of, 344.

Closing a letter, 455-458, 460, 487, 489-490, 494-496.

Clothes, at an afternoon tea, 165, 547, 556; at a christening, 385-386; at a concert, 547; at a funeral, 408; at a house party in camp, 441-442; at luncheon, 246; at the opera, 35, 547, 549; at theater, 42-43, 547, 569; on a visit, 97; at a wedding, 328-330, 332-334, 556, 569-570; for a debutante, 281; for a gentleman, chapter on, 562-570; for a lady, chapter on, 540-570; for servants, 138, 140, 143-144, 151-152, 246-247; for people with limited incomes, 543-545, 553-557.

Clubs, chapter on, 511-523; conversation in, 508.