Bikey the Skicycle and Other Tales of Jimmieboy Part 11

[Ill.u.s.tration: "I'M VERY GLAD TO SEE YOU, SHARKEY," SAID THE LOBSTER.]

"I'm very glad to see you, Sharkey," said the Lobster. "It is exceedingly pleasant to one who is always joking to meet a Fish like you."

"I pray excuse me, Lobster dear, If I should ask you why?

Pray come and whisper in my ear, What your words signify."

"Certainly, my dear Shark," replied the Lobster. "It is always exceedingly pleasant for a droll person to tell his jokes to a creature with a mouth as large as yours, because your smile is necessarily a tremendous one. I never like to tell my jokes to people with small mouths, because their smiles are limited, while yours is as broad as the boundless ocean."

"Thank you," returned the Shark. "That reminds me of a little song, and as I see you have a ba.s.s-drum in your pocket, I will sing it, if you will accompany me."

Here Jimmieboy had the wonderful experience of seeing a Lobster take a ba.s.s-drum out of his pocket. I shall not attempt to describe how the lobster did it, because I know you are anxious to hear the Shark's song--as also was Jimmieboy--which went as follows:--that is, the words did; the tune I cannot here reproduce, but any reader desirous of hearing it can do so if he will purchase a ba.s.s-drum set in G-flat, and beat it forty times to the second as hard as he knows how.

"I find it most convenient to Possess a mouth like this, Why, twenty babes at one fell swoop I easily can kiss; And sixty pounds of apple pie, Plus ten of orange pulp, And forty thousand macaroons I swallow at a gulp.

"It's big enough for me without Appearing like a dunce To stand upon a platform and Say forty things at once.

So large it is I have to wear Of teeth a dozen sets, And I can sing all in a bunch Some twenty-nine duets.

"Once I was captured by some men, Who put me in a lake, Where sadly I did weep all day-- All night I kept awake: And when the morning came at last, So weary, sir, was I, I yawned and swallowed up that pond, Which left me high and dry.

"Then when my captors came to me, I opened both my jaws, And snapped each one of them right up Without a moment's pause; I swallowed every single man In all that country round, And as I had the lake inside, They every one were drowned."

Here the Shark stopped, and Jimmieboy applauded.

"And what became of you?" asked the Lobster. "Did you die then?"

"Well," returned the Shark, with a puzzled expression on his face. "The song stops there, and I don't know whether I died or not. I presume I did, unless I swallowed myself and got into the lake again in that way.

But, see here, Lobby, you haven't got off any jokes for the children yet."

"No, but I'm ready," returned Lobby. "What's the difference between me and Christmas?"

"Perhaps I'm very stupid, Sometimes I'm rather slow-- But why you're unlike Christmas I'm sure I do not know,"

replied the Shark.

"Oh no, you aren't stupid," said the Lobster. "It would be far stupider of you to guess the answer when it is my turn to make the little ones laugh. The reason I am different from Christmas is just this--now don't lose this, children--with Christmas comes Santa Claus, and with me comes Lobster claws. Now let me give you another. What is it that's brown like a cent, is bigger than a cent, is worth less than a cent, yet costs a cent?"

"Perhaps I do not know enough To spell C-A-T, cat-- And yet I really must confess I cannot answer that,"

returned the Shark.

"I am very glad of that," said the Lobster. "I should have felt very badly if you could, because, you know, I want these children here to observe that while there are some things you can do that I can't do, there are also some things I can do that you can't do. Now the thing that is brown like a cent, is bigger than a cent, is worth less than a cent, yet costs a cent, is a cent's worth of mola.s.ses taffy--which the Terrapin will now pa.s.s around for sale, along with my photographs, for the benefit of my family."

Then the Lobster bowed, the Shark and he locked fin and arm again, and amid the strains of music from the band marched out of the ring, and Jimmieboy looking up from the canvas for a moment saw that the Imp had returned.

VI

_THE CIRCUS CONTINUES_

"Hullo," said Jimmieboy. "Back again?"

"Do I look it?" asked the Imp.

"Yes, I think you do," returned Jimmieboy. "Unless you are your twin brother; are you your twin brother?"

"No," laughed the Imp, "I am not. I am myself, and I am back again just as I appear to be, and I've had a real dull time of it since I went away from you."

"Doing what?" asked Jimmieboy.

"Well, first I had to tell your mother that the butcher couldn't send a ten-pound turkey, but had two six-pounders for her if she wanted them; and then I had to tell him for her that he could send mutton instead.

After that I had to blow up the grocer for your father, whose cigars hadn't come, and then tell your father what wasn't so--that the cigars hadn't been ordered--for the grocer. After that, just as I was leaving, the cook came to the 'phone and asked me to tell your Aunt Susan's cook that her cousin in New York was very ill with a broken wheel on his truck, and that if she would meet her in town at eleven o'clock they could go to the matinee together, which she said she would do, and altogether it has been a very dull twenty minutes for me. Have you enjoyed yourself?"

"Hugely," said Jimmieboy; "and I hope now that you've come back I haven't got to stop enjoying myself in the same way. I'm right in the middle of the Fish Circus."

"Oh, are you," said the Imp, with a smile. "I rather enjoy that myself.

How far have you got?"

"The Shark and the Lobster had just gone off when you came back."

"Good," returned the Imp. "The best part of the performance is yet to come. Move over there in the chair and make room for me. There--that's it. Now let's see what's on next. Oh yes. Here comes the Juggling Clam; he is delightful. I like him better that way than if he was served with tomato ketchup."

The Book interrupted the Imp at this point, and observed:

"Now glue your eyes upon the ring, And see the Juggling Clam Transform a piece of purple string Into a pillow-sham.

"Nor think that when he has done so His tricks are seen and done, For next he'll turn a jet-black crow Into a penny bun.

"Next from his handsome heaven hat He'll take a piece of pie, A donkey, and a Maltese cat, A green bluebottle fly;

"A talking-doll, a pair of skates, A fine apartment-house, A pound of sweet imported dates, A brace of roasted grouse;

"And should you not be satisfied When he has done all that, He'll take whatever you decide Out of that beaver hat.

"And after that he'll lightly spring Into the atmosphere, And show you how a Clam can sing If he but persevere.

"When he has all this to you, If you applaud him well He'll be so glad he'll show you through His handsome pinky sh.e.l.l."

Jimmieboy didn't believe the Clam could do all this, and he said so to the Imp, but the Imp told him to "wait and see," and when the boy did wait he certainly did see, for the Clam did everything that was promised, and when Jimmieboy, just to test the resources of the wonderful hat, asked the Clam to bring out three dozen jam tarts, the Clam brought out the three dozen jam tarts--only they were picture jam tarts, and Jimmieboy could only decide that it was a wonderful performance, though he would have liked mightily to taste the tarts, and see if they were as good as they looked.

"What comes next?" queried Jimmieboy, as the Clam bowed himself out of the ring.

"Listen, and the Book will tell," returned the Imp.

The Book resumed: