The Pirate, and The Three Cutters Part 28

'Then, d'ye see, you've no departure to work from. However, I think you cannot have been in the service at that time. We were not quite so particular about uniform as we are now.'

'Then I think the service was all the better for it. Nowadays, in your crack s.h.i.+ps, a mate has to go down in the hold or spirit-room, and after whipping up fifty empty casks, and breaking out twenty full ones, he is expected to come on quarter-deck as clean as if he was just come out of a bandbox.'

'Well, there's plenty of water alongside, as far as the outward man goes, and iron dust is soon brushed off. However, as you say, perhaps a little too much is expected; at least, in five of the s.h.i.+ps in which I was first lieutenant, the captain was always hauling me over the coals about the mids.h.i.+pmen not dressing properly, as if I was their dry-nurse.

I wonder what Captain Prigg would have said if he had seen such a turn-out as you, Mr. Smith, on his quarter-deck.'

'I should have had one turn-out more,' drawled Smith.

'With your out-at-elbows jacket, there, eh!' continued Mr. Appleboy.

Smith turned up his elbows, looked at one and then at the other; after so fatiguing an operation, he was silent.

'Well, where was I? Oh! it was about ninety-three or ninety-four, as I said, that it happened--Tomkins, fill your gla.s.s and hand me the sugar--how do I get on? This is No 15,' said Appleboy, counting some white lines on the table by him; and taking up a piece of chalk, he marked one more line on his tally. 'I don't think this is so good a tub as the last, Tomkins, there's a tw.a.n.g about it--a want of juniper; however, I hope we shall have better luck this time. Of course you know we sail to-morrow?'

'I presume so, by the leg of mutton coming on board.'

'True--true; I'm regular--as clockwork. After being twenty years a first lieutenant one gets a little method. I like regularity. Now the admiral has never omitted asking me to dinner once, every time I have come into harbour, except this time. I was so certain of it, that I never expected to sail; and I have but two s.h.i.+rts clean in consequence.'

'That's odd, isn't it?--and the more so, because he has had such great people down here, and has been giving large parties every day.'

'And yet I made three seizures, besides sweeping up those thirty-seven tubs.'

'I swept them up,' observed Smith.

'That's all the same thing, younker. When you've been a little longer in the service, you'll find out that the commanding officer has the merit of all that is done; but you're _green_ yet. Let me see, where was I?

Oh! it was about ninety-three or ninety-four, as I said. At that time I was in the Channel fleet----Tomkins, I'll trouble you for the hot water; this water's cold. Mr. Smith, do me the favour to ring the bell. Jem, some more hot water.'

'Please, sir,' said Jem, who was barefooted as well as bareheaded, touching the lock of hair on his forehead, 'the cook has capsized the kettle--but he has put more on.'

'Capsized the kettle! Hah!--very well--we'll talk about that to-morrow.

Mr. Tomkins, do me the favour to put him in the report: I may forget it.

And pray, sir, how long is it since he has put more on?'

'Just this moment, sir, as I came aft.'

'Very well, we'll see to that to-morrow. You bring the kettle aft as soon as it is ready. I say, Mr. Jem, is that fellow sober?'

'Yees, sir, he be sober as you be.'

'It's quite astonis.h.i.+ng what a propensity the common sailors have to liquor. Forty odd years have I been in the service, and I've never found any difference. I only wish I had a guinea for every time that I have given a fellow seven-water grog during my servitude as first lieutenant, I wouldn't call the king my cousin. Well, if there's no hot water, we must take lukewarm; it won't do to heave-to. By the Lord Harry!

who would have thought it?--I'm at number sixteen! Let me count--yes!--surely I must have made a mistake. A fact, by Heaven!'

continued Mr. Appleboy, throwing the chalk down on the table. 'Only one more gla.s.s after this; that is, if I have counted right--I may have seen double.'

'Yes,' drawled Smith.

'Well, never mind. Let's go on with my story. It was either in the year ninety-three or ninety-four that I was in the Channel fleet; we were then abreast of Torbay----'

'Here be the hot water, sir,' cried Jem, putting the kettle down on the deck.

'Very well, boy. By the bye, has the jar of b.u.t.ter come on board?'

'Yes, but it broke all down the middle. I tied him up with a rope-yarn.'

'Who broke it, sir?'

'c.o.xswain says as how he didn't.'

'But who did, sir?'

'c.o.xswain handed it up to Bill Jones, and he says as how he didn't.'

'But who did, sir?'

'Bill Jones gave it to me, and I'm sure as how I didn't.'

'Then who did, sir, I ask you?'

'I think it be Bill Jones, sir, 'cause he's fond of b.u.t.ter, I know, and there be very little left in the jar.'

'Very well, we'll see to that to-morrow morning. Mr. Tomkins, you'll oblige me by putting the b.u.t.ter-jar down in the report, in case it should slip my memory. Bill Jones, indeed, looks as if b.u.t.ter wouldn't melt in his mouth. Never mind. Well, it was, as I said before--it was in the year ninety-three or ninety-four, when I was in the Channel fleet; we were then off Torbay, and had just taken two reefs in the topsails.

Stop--before I go on with my story, I'll take my last gla.s.s; I think it's the last--let me count. Yes, by heavens! I make out sixteen, well told. Never mind, it shall be a stiff one. Boy, bring the kettle, and mind you don't pour the hot water into my shoes, as you did the other night. There, that will do. Now, Tomkins, fill up yours; and you, Mr.

Smith. Let us all start fair, and then you shall have my story--and a very curious one it is, I can tell you; I wouldn't have believed it myself, if I hadn't seen it. Hilloa! what's this? Confound it! what's the matter with the toddy? Heh, Mr. Tomkins?'

Mr. Tomkins tasted; but, like the lieutenant, he had made it very stiff; and, as he had also taken largely before, he was, like him, not quite so clear in his discrimination. 'It has a queer tw.a.n.g, sir; Smith, what is it?'

Smith took up his gla.s.s, tasted the contents.

'_Salt water_,' drawled the mids.h.i.+pman.

'Salt water! so it is, by heavens!' cried Mr. Appleboy.

'Salt as Lot's wife! by all that's infamous!' cried the master's mate.

'Salt water, sir!' cried Jem in a fright, expecting a _salt_ eel for supper.

'Yes, sir,' replied Mr. Appleboy, tossing the contents of the tumbler in the boy's face, 'salt water. Very well, sir--very well!'

'It warn't me, sir,' replied the boy, making up a piteous look.

'No, sir, but you said the cook was sober.'

'He was not so _very_ much disguised, sir,' replied Jem.

'Oh! very well--never mind. Mr. Tomkins, in case I should forget it, do me the favour to put the kettle of salt water down in the report. The scoundrel! I'm very sorry, gentlemen, but there's no means of having any more gin-toddy. But never mind, we'll see to this to-morrow. Two can play at this; and if I don't salt-water their grog, and make them drink it too, I have been twenty years a first lieutenant for nothing, that's all. Good-night, gentlemen; and,' continued the lieutenant, in a severe tone, 'you'll keep a sharp look-out, Mr. Smith--do you hear, sir?'

[Ill.u.s.tration: _'Salt water, sir!' cried Jem. 'Yes, sir,' replied Mr.

Appleboy, tossing the contents of the tumbler in the boy's face._]

'Yes,' drawled Smith, 'but it's not my watch; it was my first watch; and just now it struck one bell.'