Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎ Vol 3 Chapter 5

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The Fifth Question

Please translate the following:

'Although John tried to take the airplane for j.a.pan with his wife's handmade lunch, he noticed that he forgot his pa.s.sport on the way.'

Himeji Mizuki's answer

'John brought his wife's homemade lunch along and wanted to take the flight to j.a.pan, but on the way, he noticed that he forgot to bring his pa.s.sport.'

Teacher's comment:



Correct answer.

Tsuchiya Kouta's answer:

'Joan '

Teacher's comment:

It's John.

Yos.h.i.+ Akihisa's answer:

'John brought his homemade pa.s.sport and takes the flight to j.a.pan.'

Teacher's comment:

Please think through the meaning of the words 'homemade pa.s.sport' again.


Thus, it's time for the briefing before the attack.

"So only cla.s.ses D and E are willing to help out in the end?"

"Can't be helped. Cla.s.s B's representative is only a representative in name, he has no way to lead his cla.s.s, and cla.s.s C's representative is Koyama, so the boys in her cla.s.s are rather indecisive."

"However, now that cla.s.ses D and E are willing to help, at least the situation is a lot better than usual."

"That's right, besides, half the girls were bathing the last time we attacked them, so the amount of forces they can deploy now is almost 50%. Thus, as long as we can beat those few teachers, we should have a chance of succeeding."

The opposing forces probably won't increase any further.

"But since we caused quite a bit of commotion during these past two days, wouldn't they stop opening the girls' bathroom?"

"Most unlikely. The teachers have their own pride as well. Do you think they can say something like 'we may be unable to stop the boys from peeping, so will the girls please don't use the girls' bathing area'?"

"Ohh, that's right."

Like what Yuuji said, the teachers don't want to lose their ident.i.ty and pride as human counselors. Besides, since things are settled by a summoning battle, they can't allow students to break through the defenses.

"This is just a wild guess...but isn't it likely that the teachers are rather happy with how things are progressing?"

"Eh? You're saying that the teachers are happy to let us peep?"

"That's right! No matter what, the aim of this training camp is to 'increase the student's willingness to study'. Speaking of studying, there is no better method than to use the summoning battle. And the girls have to also use the summoned beasts to protect themselves and stop us from peeping on them." Yuuji a.n.a.lyses.

I see! So the teachers could have confined us to our cla.s.srooms, and yet the reason they didn't do so is because of that? But aren't the teachers a little too overconfident in thinking that we can't break through their defences?

"Muttsulini, have you conveyed the time and location for the gathering to the other two cla.s.ses?"

"...No problem."

The expected time of action is at 20.10, and the gathering location is at the canteen. We intend to launch a full scale attack while the first group is still removing their clothes.

"Right, then it's about time to move."

"You're right, most likely, the majority are eager to move out."

Including the boys in cla.s.ses D and E, we have almost 100 people. We can't repeat what happened yesterday!

"Not good, Yos.h.i.+!"

At this moment, our door was slammed open, as our cla.s.smate Sugawa-san came rus.h.i.+ng inside.

"What's going on, Sugawa-san? There should be several minutes left before the operation begins, right?"

"We've been had! Those girls were in ambush in the canteen. In the end, all our forces are scattered all in all the levels!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"

How come it's the enemy attacking us now? Is there a spy among us who leaked the intel?

"...We can't possibly leak our own intel."

As if reading the doubt in my mind, Muttsulini quickly deduces this.

Muttsulini can't possibly be that careless, and even if our plans were really leaked, it'll take some time for the enemy to take action.

In other words...

"Our plan was seen through already?" Yuuji says with regret.

That's right, the enemy has already seen through our plan. Normally speaking, such a secretive plan can't possibly be seen through. It can be said that the only reason why it ended up like this is only because the enemy understand Yuuji's way of thinking. And there's only one person in this world that can guess Yuuji's thoughts.

"Kiris.h.i.+ma Shouko, the t.i.tle of number 1 in our academic year isn't something to be snuffed at."

"She definitely won't forgive Yuuji's peeping behaviour."

Right now, the only thin hope for us is for Yuuji to come up with something unorthodox. If even this can be seen through, we won't be able to move at all.

"...No time to hesitate."

"Tha, that's right! What do we do now, Yuuji?"

"What do you mean by that? Our battle plan is useless now! We can only regroup everyone. COMRADES, TIME TO MOVE OUT!"

""""ROGER THAT!""""

Including Sugawa-san, the 5 of us move out of them room, only to realise that the outside is already a battlefield.

"You perverts! Let us tie you up!"

"We definitely won't allow you guys to peep on us!"

"d.a.m.n it! Why are the girls appearing here?"

"How do I know!? Anyway, let's talk after we battle."

Seeing the group of girls blocking our group of comrades hastily summoned their summoned beasts, but the differences in points is too great.


D cla.s.s, Onodera Yuuko, Chemistry, 116 points.

Vs

F cla.s.s, Masahiro Asakura, Chemistry, 44 points


Seeing Asakura-san get blown aside so easily, Sugawa-san exclaims,

"EVERYONE CALM DOWN! THE SUMMONED BEASTS CAN'T HIT US! WE DON'T HAVE TO CARE ABOUT THEM, WE JUST NEED TO CHARGE RIGHT OVER THEM!"

After saying that, Sugawa-san charges forward.

No! That judgement's a mistake!

"No you can't, Sugawa-san! It's not just Ironman that you have to be wary of!"

I frantically tried to stop him with my voice, but Sugawa-san's moving. It's too late!

"Sugawa-san from cla.s.s F, right? Follow me to the detention room. Summon."

Walking up from behind the girls is Fuse-sensei. Even if we don't summon, there're still teachers around, and without beating those summoned beasts, we can't break through. Thus, we have to gather all our forces together. No matter how strong a summoned beast is, there's a limit to the number of enemies. Since the number of teachers aren't as many as the students, so we should be able to do something at least if we do that...!

"EVERYONE LISTEN UP! GATHER OUR FORCES HERE! FOLLOW ME!"

Yuuji glares at Fuse-sensei as he gives the command. However, the direction he chooses is—

"OI YUUJI! ISN'T THAT WHERE THERE ARE THE MOST ENEMIES!? I FEEL THAT IT'S EASIER TO BREAK THROUGH BY MOVING TOWARDS THE STAIRS!"

It's definitely where there're the most people are gathered, and a few of the cla.s.s A girls are there as well.

But Yuuji immediately refutes my suggestion.

"That's the reason! If there's a thin defence, there's a likelihood that there're traps behind it! Even if it's tough here, I have to go through the most dangerous place!"

Hearing him say this, the distribution in forces is really uneven. It's like inviting us to go downstairs. Maybe that is really a trap. As expected of Yuuji, to be able to think of this in this situation.

"FOLLOW SAKAMOTO! GET PAST SENSEI AND ESCAPE OVER HERE!!"

"CHARGE!!!"

Everyone present immediately turn to look at a common point before charging at the same place. At the same time, the girls scatter aside. Are they blown away by our momentum? No, actually, it's better to not make judgement too early...

Anyway, we don't have time to bother about all these. We rush down the corridor in front of the staircase, turning around from the corridor behind the self-study area.

"...Yuuji, I waited for you for a long time."

"Ki, Kiris.h.i.+ma-san!?"

In front of us, Kiris.h.i.+ma-san and the rest walk over.

"Nice one there, Shouko..!"

I could hear Yuuji gritting his teeth.

It's obvious that he won't be happy. Because all his deliberate plans were countered by the opponent one by one. This shows that Kiris.h.i.+ma-san's thinking is a lot more cautious.

To Yuuji, there's probably no greater shame than this.

"...I won't forgive you for being fickle in love! I'll let your body understand this."

At this moment, Kiris.h.i.+ma-san moves aside. Another person appears from behind her.

"Looks like I have a need to educate you on social rules."

"THE ONE LEADING IS LEVEL HEAD MISS TAKAHAs.h.i.+!"

This teacher gives us a cold yet knowledgeable feeling, giving us a lecturing glare through her gla.s.ses. If our opponent is that Takahas.h.i.+-sensei, our cla.s.s F only has the role of being beaten down.

"Yuuji, I think it's better to retreat now."

"Sorry, that won't do."

Looking back in the opposite direction, somebody appears there.

"Kudo-san...!"

"Hi. Yos.h.i.+-kun's really working hard."

Kudo-san waves her hand as if she doesn't know anything. After that, the health Ed teacher Oos.h.i.+ma-sensei walks up from behind her as if it's to be expected. With those two as our opponents, even Muttsulini has no chance of winning.

"Aki, I got tricked by you during the day! You caused me to be so embarra.s.sed!"

"Akihisa-kun, if you really want to peep on girls bathing, why didn't you discuss with us first?"

In front of me is the familiar Minami and Himeji-san group. If Takahas.h.i.+-sensei's around, the subject will be combined subjects, and Minami's weakness won't be that obvious now. We have completely lost this battle.

But even so, we can't give up like this! If those photos are to be spread around throughout the school, my school life will be a whole lot greyer!

"EVERYONE, DON'T GIVE UP! FIGHT TILL THE BITTER END! SUMMON!!"

I called out my summoned beast and let it get into a battle position. The target is level head Takahas.h.i.+-sensei. But even if we managed to break through this, there are still many opponents that we have to break through.

"Sensei, Aki's summoned beast looks a lot stronger than he is—"

"No problem, s.h.i.+mada-san. You don't have to worry."

Takahas.h.i.+-sensei uses a hand to block Minami, who's intending to a.s.sist her.

So she's extremely confident, huh!? However, I'm more or less familiar with how to control the summoned beast! Even if it's the level head, if I can control it properly...!

After locking onto the target, my summoned beast charges at her like a bullet.

"Yos.h.i.+-kun, I'm really disappointed in you. I thought that at least there should be something positive about you."

After Takahas.h.i.+-sensei glares at me coldly, she gives a command to her summoned beast.

The opponent's wielding the whip in its hands, so I can't grasp the timing of the attack. But at least I have to fight against it once to gauge the distance!

I raise my wooden sword to eye level, between my eyes, guarding against the enemy's attack. At this moment, my summoned beast suddenly can't move—and collapses onto the floor.

"...Eh?"

For a moment, I couldn't do anything. And the next moment, a sharp pain reverberates through my entire body.

"IT HURTTTTSSSSS!! IT REALLY HURRRRTTTTSSSS!!! ISN'T THIS A TOOL FOR INTEROGATION!!!???"

In contrast to Ironman's fist, it feels like my skin is being ripped as the pain spreads throughout my body.

"That Akihisa actually got hit once, and yet...as expected of the legendary talented woman..."


Level head, Takahas.h.i.+ Yoko, Combined subjects 7791 points

Vs

Cla.s.s F, Yos.h.i.+ Akihisa, Combined subjects 902 points.


Takahas.h.i.+-sensei's marks appeared. WHICH IDIOT WILL EVEN ATTEMPT TO COMPARE THEM? ISN'T THE DIFFERENCE WAY TOO GREAT ALREADY!?

"Can't be helped. If so, everyone's to do things according to their judgement!"

"""OOSSUU! LEAVE IT TO US!"""

Our commander here made an order that's nothing too different from retreating.

After the order was issued, everyone's to do according to their own decision making. How will they escape? Let us see this!

"..." (<--kneeling down="" in="">

"..." (<--kneeling down="" in="">

"..." (<--kneeling down="" in="">

They're a bunch of idiots.

"Yos.h.i.+-kun and Sakamoto-kun aren't admitting your wrongdoing as well? Is it because you want to maintain your pride as commanders?"

Seeing Yuuji and me unwilling to beg for forgiveness, Takahas.h.i.+-sensei narrows her eyes, seemingly with respect.

Kneel down and admit our wrongdoing? Oi, can you say something more decent?

"You're wrong, Takahas.h.i.+-sensei. We're very clear about this."

Yuuji lifts his mouth and replies.

"Yuuji's right, we're very clear about this. There's no need to get down and admit our wrongdoing."

Like Yuuji, I also showed a smile.

"Don't tell me you have reinforcements?"

Seeing our stubborn att.i.tudes, Takahas.h.i.+-sensei frowns.

"Reinforcements? No, you don't understand anything at all."

"You're right, we're not talking about that."

If this were an exam, Takahas.h.i.+-sensei's answer will only warrant her 0 marks. The reason why we didn't kneel down and admit our wrongdoing isn't because of pride or reinforcements, but—

"Sakamoto-kun, Yos.h.i.+-kun. Peeping is obviously a crime, you know?"

"Oh yeah, Aki, I haven't settled the debt I owed you during the day."

"...Yuuji, I said before that I won't forgive you for being such a Casanova."

—The correct answer is that we won't be forgiven even if we're to kneel down.


"To think that even Takahas.h.i.+-sensei joined in the battle."

"She's so strong it's basically illegal for her to take part in this war..."

It's no longer a level of deciding a winner. It's practically impossible to find anyone who can beat her one on one.

Just thinking about it makes my body hurt. These were the aftereffects of Takahas.h.i.+-sensei's summoned beast and Minami's punishment. It feels like I'll dream of Himeji-san and Minami smiling at me while the content's all about punishment.

"Then what should we do? Not only will you guys be blackmailed, you'll be tagged as peeping toms!"

Like yesterday, Hideyos.h.i.+ is let off. Ai, it's right that a girl seeing another girl bathing shouldn't be enough to warrant a crime.

"Of course we don't intend to give up at all. Though tomorrow will be our only chance left, look at it another way, we still have a chance tomorrow."

Tomorrow's the 4th day of training camp. Since the 5th day will be travelling time, tomorrow will be the last chance for us to peep. However, like what Yuuji said, there's still tomorrow. It's too early for us to give up.

"You're right. Though there's an overwhelming difference in terms of fighting strength, we're already used to this. This strength in overcoming difficulties is where our true value s.h.i.+nes through, right?"

We have threats of blackmail and being tagged as peeping toms behind us, and in front of us is one extremely overpowered opponent that only an idiot will go up against. There's only one chance left. Even so, no matter how inexplicable it is, we didn't feel any despair.

"...We can't just end off like this."

"That's right. Our cla.s.s F is already used to seeing this, so there's no need to panic."

Hideyos.h.i.+ and Muttsulini seem rather excited as well, and the other cla.s.smates who aren't around should feel the same.

"Is that so? If you two aren't giving up, there's still a way of doing this."

"As expected of Yuuji! What idea did you come up with?"

"Of course. Who do you think I am?"

Yuuji lets out a wicked smile. That's a smile I saw several times up till now. Once this guy gives this look, he'll normally bring us to safety (let's ignore how he does it first). We should be successful this time as well.

"Then, what's the plan?"

"A frontal breakthrough."

I'll take that back. We don't have any chance now.

"Please don't show such a look and listen till the end. The basic idea of breaking through from the front hasn't changed, and what changes are the preparations beforehand."

"If we're going to continue to try and break through from the front, you're talking about increasing our forces?"

"That's right. The opposing forces are at their limit. There's no way to increase their forces anymore. Even though it was a pity that we lost today, thanks to that, we managed to grasp the battle ability of the opponent. This is very important."

"...I got witnesses' information from the other cla.s.ses."

The other cla.s.ses Muttsulini's talking about should be cla.s.ses D and E.

"Though the opponents use the teachers as their main defence, there is a weakness. Do you know what that is?"

"Not at all."

"I'll teach you the correct way to use a pair of scissors."

"GYAAHH! My eyes, MY EYES!!!"

Yuuji uses the pair of scissors to deliver it as a French Kiss gift to my eyes (by the way, that's one beautified version).

"Really, think through it carefully, will you? The field to summon the summoned beasts has something called 'interference'. This is when if another teacher's to create a summoning field, the conflict in subjects will cause the summoned beast to disappear--"

"In other words, not being able to allocate many teachers at the same wide area?"

"That's the point."

So if the teachers are to get too close to one another, it will cause an interference and make the 'summoned beasts' disappear, right?

I see, so that's why the teachers attacked from all directions. They wouldn't be able to fight with the physicality of the high school boys if they don't have summoned beasts, so they will try to avoid a 'interference' at all costs.

"Tabulating this phenomenon and the results that Muttsulini reported, we can expect the enemy to set up something like this."

Yuuji opens a piece of white paper on the table and proceeds to draw his expectations on it.

"Eh? Takahas.h.i.+-sensei's position will be different from how it was today?"

"I'm not 100% certain on this, but I'll do this if I were the enemy. It's a common rule in war to put forces on places that you don't want the enemy to break through."

According to Yuuji's prediction, Takahas.h.i.+-sensei's location will be in front of the stairs leading down to the bas.e.m.e.nt. This is because that's the only staircase leading down to the girls' bathing area, and it's likely that the enemy will set up their main forces there.

"If so, why didn't they do so today?"

"Were they trying to lower our will to fight? Seemed like our routes were predicted as well."

"Hm, well, the difference in points is a crucial factor."

I'm sorry to disappoint the girls, but we aren't going to give up just because of this blip.

"But speaking of which, this is one tough battle for us. There's Ironman, Oos.h.i.+ma-sensei (Health ed teacher) and Takahas.h.i.+-sensei (level head). These are positions that we can't just pa.s.s through easily."

Though we say this, we can't just ignore the other teachers. What Yuuji predicted were the important points, and I guess this is right. Right now, our forces here include the boys of cla.s.ses D, E, F. Though we have high morale, it's obvious which side is weaker when the opposing forces include cla.s.s A's girls, and especially since cla.s.s E had no experience in a summoning war.

"For our victory, we have to get a certain guy in front of Ironman unscathed."

"A certain guy?"

"That's you, Akihisa. No matter what, the main unavoidable condition for our victory is for you to win over Ironman."

"So it's because I'm a 'punishment inspector'?"

"That's right. Ironman's acting as the final line of defence to the girls bathing area. This is a point that we have to break through. However, it's impossible to beat that guy through flesh."

We already knew that two days ago. With that guy as our opponent, even Yuuji will be tossed aside like a brat. "Humans used weapons to fight against monsters, and the only one who has the weapon is you, Akihisa."

The summoned beast that is a lot stronger than a human. However, an ordinary summoned beast won't be able to touch such objects. Only my summoned beast that's designated as a 'punishment inspector' can touch physical objects, so that means that I'll have to be Ironman's opponent. I don't know if I can win, but at least it's better than having someone else go for it.

"However, wouldn't it mean having to break through Takahas.h.i.+-sensei unscathed?"

"Ahh, even if Muttsulini's to handle Oois.h.i.+ma-sensei, the number of forces needed to face Takahas.h.i.+-sensei is still insufficient. Actually, it's impossible to beat Takahas.h.i.+-sensei with our current forces."

a.s.suming that 10 people are needed to block a teacher, we need about 80 people on the second and third levels. And with the girls helping them, we can't deny that we're at an overwhelming disadvantage.

"No matter what, we have to get cla.s.ses A, B and C's help."

What Yuuji meant is that cla.s.ses B and C will be required to get to Takahas.h.i.+-sensei, and cla.s.s A is required to beat Takahas.h.i.+-sensei.

"It's too long to talk about all these, but because of this, it's imperative that we get the other cla.s.ses help. Thus, before we start battle tomorrow, let's focus on this."

"So you're saying that we need to get cla.s.ses A-C as our comrades? But we've been rejected once. Will it be that easy?"

"So that's why we need to do something."

At this moment, Yuuji's holding onto many cameras and yukatas that were prepared in each room. Even though we were told not to use the yukatas, this guy probably doesn't intend to obey the rules.

"But what do you plan to do with that?"

"Use these photos to get those guys from cla.s.ses A-C to reveal the darkness in their hearts. If possible, it can increase their interest in peeping and get their help."

"Hm~ it sure feels like Yuuji's battle plan."

"Shut up."

"However, if it's effective, there's value in trying it. Put it on, Hideyos.h.i.+."

"...Again, you're making me wear it...?"

Why did I feel that Hideyos.h.i.+ looks unhappy when he received that yukata?

"Relax. It's not just Hideyos.h.i.+. I'm making Himeji and s.h.i.+mada wear it as well."

"No, it's not that I'm unhappy with being the only one wearing it."

So it's not that he's unhappy? Good, very good.

"Then, Akihisa. Contact Himeji and s.h.i.+mada. Muttsulini will prepare the camera."

Following Yuuji's instructions, I pulled out my phone. "Mm~ Those two's numbers are...oh, I got them."

Kacha, I entered the contents of the text.

[I got something to say. Can you please come over to my room?]

Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi.

A short while after pressing the send b.u.t.ton, I got a reply—oh, it's from Himeji-san.

[I got it. I'll bring some snacks along. I'll go over soon.]

To do this for taking photos, that's a really delightful answer. I have to thank for her that.

Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi.

After I shut my phone down, about a minute later, I got another message. Is this from Minami this time?

[I'm alright with it. But why now?]

Ah, so she's a little wary? Can't be helped, since Minami and the rest seem to view us as peeping toms and might change Himeji-san who's completely clueless about it. Deary me, how should I respond?

Just as I'm thinking about how to answer such that Minami can accept it, my phone rings to notify me of a third message.

[Hm? Who can that be?]

Opening up the inbox, the sender was—Sugawa-san. What now?

[Though it's sudden, why are you desperately trying to peek? Or is it that you really like girls? I'm somewhat mindful about you saying something like liking Sakamoto's b.u.t.t.]

For a moment, I couldn't say anything after seeing Sugawa-san's mail.

That, that's a serious misunderstanding! Wouldn't anyone think that I'm more interested in Yuuji than girls if they see this!? Got to change their thinking!

While the situation's good, let's send a mail over.

Why must we peep inside the girls' bath? Of course we decided on it!

[It's because I like it, isn't it? Even more than Yuuji!]

Really, why must he ask this? Won't he get the answer if he thinks of it normally?

Somewhat hasty, I pressed down on the b.u.t.ton. Oh my. There're so many idiots around me that it's disturbi—

[Sending message to--> s.h.i.+mada Minami.]

—Eh?

Ah haha. Seems like I'm too tired, since I seemed to have seen the recipient wrongly. However, I just need to rub my eyes and see the destination, right?

[Message sent to--> s.h.i.+mada Minami.]

"Cluk."

On seeing the recipient, my mouth let out an unbelievable sound.

...Hold on, Yos.h.i.+ Akihisa. This isn't such a dangerous mail, right? How about I look back at the mail I just sent?

[It's because I like it, isn't it? Even more than Yuuji!]

THIS IS A STRONG AND FORCEFUL CONFESSION THAT ONLY A MANLY MAN CAN WRITE!

"Argh! I'm such a big idiot! I was really shocked by what I did in a certain sense! DAMMNN IITTT!!!"

This, this is the biggest crisis of my entire life! How could I send that mail to Minami who treats me like a maggot or sandbag! I won't just be tossed aside, Minami will say 'it'll be awkward to see the guy I just dumped!' and won't come to the room. To think that Yuuji's intricate plan became a bust, and I will get rejected. Is this a day for disaster!?

Anyway, got to send a mail to Minami to explain what was that about, no?

I try my best to think of what to write. No, there's no time to think about that now! Anyway, got to change that mail—

"What now, Akihisa? I just seemed to hear a cry."

"Something really bad happened! Don't stop me no—"

"Something really bad? That's –WAH!"


WHOOSH (The sound of Yuuji slipping on a banana peel)

BAM (The sound of Yuuji pulling me along as we fall)

CRACK (The sound of Yuuji stepping on my handphone and breaking it to bits)


"What was the really bad thing you talked about, Akihisa?"

"IT'S THE SITUATION YOU CAUSED JUST NOW!"

My handphone is now in the pitiful state of having crumbled to parts. Obviously, it's impossible to use the phone to explain it to here.

"Hm? Is this your phone? Sorry, I'll return it to you later."

No matter what anyone says, I should have the right to tie this guy up and beat him up real good.

"Nevermind, forget about that phone. Anyway, just lend your phone to me!"

"Oh, the phone? I'm fine with it."

I reached my hand over for the simple-model phone that Yuuji likes, and start to look for Minami's number.


Sakamoto Yuuji's phone book...record no. 1 --> Kiris.h.i.+ma Shouko.


"Mu, that Shouko messed with my phone again? She's supposed to be a mechanical idiot...do I have to re-input everyone's number?

So he definitely didn't record down Minami's phone or mail address. Is my future going to be wrecked just like that?

"What's with you revealing this kind of look, Akihisa? It seemed like you just sent a confession-like mail to her, and I stepped on the phone or something before you could explain to her."

"Ah hahaha. What are you saying, Yuuji? How is such a thing possible?"

"Yeah, you're right. If such a thing happened, wouldn't I have become a big baddie or something?"

"Really, I can't handle you, ah hahahaha."

Kacha kacha kacha. Sending... good.


[To: Kiris.h.i.+ma Shouko From: Sakamoto Yuuji

I'm proposing marriage again. Please come over to my room in a yukata.]


"Hm? Akihisa, who are you sending the mail to—GUAH, WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU b.a.s.t.a.r.d!!"

"SHUT UP! I'LL MAKE YOU LOSE EVERYTHING LIKE ME! WATCH THIS!"

"WAHHH! YOU TOSSED MY PHONE INTO TEAWATER!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN IT TO SHOUKO NOW, YOU d.a.m.nED TRAs.h.!.+"

"THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S THIS KIND OF FEELING! THIS IS THE FEELING I HAVE AGAINST YUUJI NOW!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING AT ALL! ANYWAY, I GOT TO GO OVER TO EXPLAIN IT TO HER BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE—"


KLAK (The sound of Yuuji opening and running out of the door)

DONG (The sound of Yuuji being hit by Ironman's fist on the corridor)

KINK DANG CLANG DOMP (The sound of Yuuji being smashed into the wall together with the table)


"You're not supposed to leave your room!"

"Got it."

Since Yuuji is unable to move at all, I have to help him answer. Seems like those teachers are already on high alert and wary of the occupants of this room.

"Speaking of which, Hideyos.h.i.+ and Muttsulini, you guys haven't bought your own handphones?"[1]

"Yeah, at least there wasn't really a need to."

"...I'll be troubled if it rings at a crucial time."

Nowadays, most high school students should have one, so these two should be considered exceptions, and especially one of them has a rather unique reason.

Can't be helped. I'll explain it to Minami tomorrow.

"Speaking of which, it'll be bad if we don't clear up this bedroom, isn't it? We can't even set our futons like this."

"You're right, let's clear the place first, then we'll take Hideyos.h.i.+'s photo."

We picked up the flipped table, picked up the rubbish on the floor and gathered them all at the same place. Hideyos.h.i.+'s luggage should go to the right side (dong), the broken vase and gla.s.s should go to the left (hehyo), my luggage goes to the right (dong), the unconscious Yuuji is trash so he goes left (padang—shasha)

"GUAAHH! THERE'S, THERE'S GLa.s.s ON MY BACK!"

"Ah, Yuuji. If you're up, please help out."

"Hold on! Can't you see the wounds on my back!?"

"No problem. At least it doesn't look fatal."

"Since you said it, how about this?"

"Ahh! You're scattering my clothes all over the place?"

"I'll let you suffer pain!"

"If so, I'll just wear the yukata! At least it'll match with Hideyos.h.i.+!"

"...I'm really envious of you."

"You guys...forgotten about my gender, is it?"

Time pa.s.sed by as we were doing this.


—DO DONG DONG


The sound of the door being knocked on could be heard.

"Ah, welcome, Himeji-san. Were you blocked by Ironman?"

"If you're talking about Nis.h.i.+mura-sensei, he let me in after I gave him some snacks."

Himeji-san looked at her super snacks as she said this.

"Goodbye Ironman. Rest in peace..."

From the bottom of my heart, I prayed for him to rest in peace.

"Speaking of which, why is Akihisa-kun wearing a yukata?"

"Eh? It was placed inside the room, so I took it out to wear it. I felt that it was a rare chance. Does it suit me?"

Though it's actually because I had to change clothes since there's gla.s.s all over it, there's no need to explain such a thing now.

"Yes, it suits you really well! Beautiful skin and slender bones, you really look handsome!"

Seeing her about to lose something soon, I wondered if I can do anything to help her.

"Ah, Himeji, just nice for you to be here."

"Good evening, Sakamoto-kun, sorry to disturb you."

"Though it's a little early, here's a present for you."

Yuuji handed something over to her.

"Is this a yukata? Thank you. Oh yes, Akihisa-kun sent over a message, saying that he got something important to tell me, what is it about?"

Himeji-san got suspicious about the yukata that was handed over to her out of a sudden.

"Actually, I got something I want to request Himeji-san to do."

"A request?"

"Hm, yeah. I hope that Himeji-san will wear and yukata and take a photo with us."

"Eh...?"

As it was too sudden, Himeji-san widened her eyes. It's true that saying this out of a sudden might be scary.

"Ah~ well, what should I say..."

What should I say to her? This is really troubling.

"...Well, if Akihisa-kun's willing to take the photo with us, I guess I can agree to it..."

At this moment, Himeji-san agreed to it despite not having heard the explanation yet. Oh, so she doesn't like taking the photo alone?

"That's easy! Hideyos.h.i.+ and I will be taking it along with you!"

It'll be alright once they cut me out from the image. No, even if I don't say so, Muttsulini will automatically cut me out.

"...It's rare for us to have this chance. I thought we could both take a photo together..."

Turning my head back, I see Himeji-san reveal an unhappy look as she puffs her cheeks. She already accepted the conditions, but is there something she's unhappy with?

"Ai, but since Akihisa-kun requested it, it can't be helped...well, I'll go change first."

Himeji-san took the yukata as she heads off to change.

At this moment, I suddenly thought of it. We didn't ask if we could show the photo to others, didn't we? Though it's not some strange photo, I should still ask as a friend.

"Wait, Himeji-san."

"Yes?"

I called Himeji-san, and turned to look at Yuuji. Just as I gave him a wordless 'I'm going to tell Himeji-san that we're going to spread the photo around', Yuuji returns me a 'were you thinking that I was planning to hide it from her?' look.

"Actually, it's about the photos. Can I show it to my other friends?"

"Eh? About me in a yukata? That, well, I'm a bit embarra.s.sed..."

"What are you talking about? If you're embarra.s.sed about showing yourself in a yukata, how can Akihisa survive? He's an idiot and a pervert. Going by your definition, wouldn't he have no right to live on?"

"LET GO OF ME, HIDEYOs.h.i.+! I'M GOING TO CARVE YUUJI'S BRAINS OUT AND SQUASH IT TO BITS!"

Hideyos.h.i.+ tried his best to grab me, preventing me from dealing the killer blow.

Every time I'm with Yuuji, I'll always have something unfortunate happen to me. Why is this always the case?

"Speaking of which, I can't just request for your services just for free like that. I'll prepare a proper gift."

Yuuji waved his hand at Himeji-san as he said this.

"What do you mean?"

Without special caution, Himeji-san closed in, and then the duo started to whisper between themselves,

"...Tomorrow morning...hisa's sleeping photo..."

"...really...then...no matter how much, I will..."

What are they talking about? Especially Himeji-san, who's been looking back often at me; this is rather suspicious.

"Then we have a deal. There're no problems, I presume?"

"Yes! It's alright even if I have to lift up my yukata by a bit."

WHAT!? What made her so motivated?

"Anyway, thanks for your help. Can you please get ready?"

"Yes!"

Himeji-san hugs the yukata as she heads off to the bathroom inside our room. The sound of clothes ruffling made the spring of youth within me overflow, but of course that's a secret that I won't say.

"...(wiping)"

Muttsulini is concentrating on wiping the camera lens. Actually, he will just cut me out and leave Himeji-san and Hideyos.h.i.+ in the photo. Well, it's not like I don't understand this feeling.

Ah, yes.

"Muttsulini, I got something I want to ask you."

"...?"

I'm somewhat embarra.s.sed to say this, so I lowered my volume so that it's inaudible to Yuuji and Hideyos.h.i.+ before continuing.

(Even if it's just one, that...two person photo of me and Himeji-san...)

"...Only one."

Muttsulini reveals a slight smile on his face.

This is a memory that I want to hide from everyone and make it mine.


Before Muttsulini drowned in a pool of blood, it took us some time before we managed to get a photo of Hideyos.h.i.+ and Himeji-san dressed up in yukatas. Though it's not printed out yet, there's no man who won't think of peeking after seeing this. If there really is one, it can be said that there is a high chance that he is a h.o.m.os.e.xual.

After taking the photo, Himeji-san went back to her room. I don't know if we were abused by Ironman till late at night, but we heard yawns after we turned off the lights. Speaking of which, I have to tell Minami about that mail immediately once I get up tomorrow morning, so let's not try and resist that sleepy feeling.

So maybe it's because of this that I didn't even realise who came inside the room?

"...ki, wake up..."

It felt like I was being shaken about.

"Uwooh..."

Ugh...I don't know who it is, but I'm really tired...please, just let me sleep...

"...Really, why did you start sleeping..."

The other person continues to shake me till I'm awake.

"Umm!"

I couldn't shake away that hand that's on me. Really, I'm sleeping here, so stop bothering me, will ya...

"I told you to get up!"

Pachi pachi...

"—UWOAHH!!"

Wha, what!? What's with this pain of dislocating my left shoulder joint and reattaching it to destroy the evidence!?

"Are you awake now, Aki?"

"Eh? Ah, so it's Minami. I guess I can understand why this happened."

If Minami's around, this level of pain is to be expected.

"No wait, why are you here, Minami GUWAH!"

"Keep it down!"

Minami looks rather panicky as she covers my mouth and nose with her hand.

Eh, eh!? Why!? Why is Minami here!?

"Are you awake now? Once you calm down, I'll let go of my hand..."

"...(Nods head violently!)"

I frantically nodded my head on hearing Minami's words without thinking, until it was almost breaking.

I guess I should say that she just needs to stuff my mouth next time.

"Don't be too loud..."

After saying this, Minami finally removes her hand,

Ho...after taking in enough oxygen, I looked up to see the girl looking at me.

"Well...you're Minami, right?"

"...What's with those eyes of yours?"

At this moment, Minami doesn't have a ponytail on, but her rather, her hair is let down. It's supposed to be just that, but the impression she gives me changed a lot. Seeing her slightly blus.h.i.+ng look, it really seems rather—cute.

"...Aki...?"

Minami shows a look of insecurity as she stares at me. That looks is completely different from her gung-ho compet.i.tive mentality, rather weak-looking, and actually looking like a cute girl.

...But why is Minami in my room now?

Normally, for girls to come all the way here to the boys' bedroom at this time is rather inexplicable. Even if we're friends, we're still of different genders! Coming over here at this time, and besides, I'm not the one she likes. This is really suspicious. Also, her clothing's really thin, so there's a high likelihood that she went into the wrong room.

Why would Minami choose to risk getting caught by the teachers and come all the way here? I begin to think about it, and suddenly, a thought appeared in my mind.

—Does Minami like me?

NONONONONO!! HURRY UP AND CALM DOWN, AKIHISA YOs.h.i.+! HOW IS SUCH A THING POSSIBLE!? SHE ALWAYS SCOLDS ME 'BAKA BAKA!', SO SHE SHOULD PREFER THE PEOPLE THAT ARE SMARTER, RIGHT? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR HER TO LIKE ME OUT OF A SUDDEN? ISN'T THIS TOO SIMPLE? Let's clam down and think through it first.

Let's a.n.a.lyse the current situation and think through it clearly.

A girl in my cla.s.s appearing in front of me and dressed in a thin nightgown.

SHE LIKES ME!!!

OI! ISN'T THAT A LITTLE TOO SIMPLE!?

"Aki, you'll wake the rest if you're so loud!"

"Guu!"

Minami uses even more force to stuff my mouth up.

Hold on, let's calm down and think this clearly through again.

She likes me.

Does she really like me?

Based on past actions, it doesn't seem likely, right? Besides, she's covering my mouth now.

Speaking of which, I did send a weird mail to her.

Minami shouldn't be feeling well now, right?

She intends to come over and destroy everything together as if nothing happened.

Late at night + invasion + entire body is a weapon.

Ooh! I solved the case!

"...Minami, at least don't cause me too much pain..."

"...What is that brain of yours thinking now?"

I will be executed now.

Just as I'm intending to get up, Minami starts to blush for some reason, looking rather shy as she says,

"...I, I summoned quite a lot of courage before coming all the way here, you know...so, so, regarding those things, you don't need to send a mail, just need to talk face to face, you know..."

"Eh?"

Not using mail but to say it out? Is she talking about my will? Since there's no paper around, I suppose that she intends to listen to me and help me say it out? How nice of Minami, but since we're so close that she is willing to listen to me say the will, I really hope that she can show me some mercy...

Alright, let's think of ways to escape from here. First, let's investigate what's going on around us.

Right now, what's beside me is—

Hideyos.h.i.+'s cute sleeping look.

Muttsulini who's armed and ready with the camera.

Kiris.h.i.+ma-san who's dressed in a yukata and sneaking inside Yuuji's futon.


"..."

Eh? For some reason, something seems wrong here.

I shake my head and intend to confirm everything again.


Hideyos.h.i.+'s innocent sleeping look.

Muttsulini who's quickly pressing the shutter.

A Kiris.h.i.+ma-san who's ignoring a panicking Yuuji's resistance as she undoes the obi of her yukata.


"How troubling...seems like these guys can help me now..."

"Before that, don't you have any intention of saving me!?"

I didn't even dare look at where Yuuji is. Because you see, Kiris.h.i.+ma-san has already undone her clothes until it's likely that I may see too much of something.

"Hold, hold on. You're saying that everyone is already up except for Kinos.h.i.+ta!? You should have said so earlier!"

Intending to close the distance, Minami frantically pulls away from me. Maybe she can't kill me now since there are so many witnesses here?

"I, I see. Since everyone woke up...that's why Aki pretended not to know anything..."

Anyway, the danger's over now. I just need them to return to their rooms without the teachers seeing them.


BAM!


"Are you alright, onee-sama!? Miharu's here to save you!"

I knew it. I knew that things won't just end like this.

"Mi, Miharu!? Why are you here!"

"I just went inside onee-sama's futon and found it empty, so I was worried what happened...! Coming here was the correct move!"

s.h.i.+mizu-san, you're amazing! 'Sneaking in and not finding anyone' and going out to look for someone isn't what a normal person will think. You're planning to launch a full-scale attack on the 3rd day of training camp?

"That, that was close...I thought that yesterday's punishment was enough to teach you. Shouldn't have let my guard down..."

Eh? She went in yesterday?

"Onee-sama! The boys' dorm is too dirty! Come and sleep naked together with Miharu! Ah, but Miharu will do a lot of things to prevent onee-sama from sleeping!"

"Stop it, s.h.i.+mizu-san! Muttsulini won't survive if you're going to continue talking about this!"

"...(drip drip drip)."

"...Anyway, let's continue, Yuuji."

"YOU'RE REALLY SELF-CENTRED, SHOUKO!!"

"Wha, what's going on? Why is it that I woke up to see 3 girls in our room, Yuuji suppressed and Muttsulini's futon all bloodied?"

"AHH! DON'T BE SO LOUD! IF THIS KEEPS UP, IRONMAN WILL FIND OUT—"


"What just happened? I seemed to have heard Yos.h.i.+'s voice!"

Ironman's coa.r.s.e voice can be heard from the corridor.

"""""..."""""

"Eh? Why? Why is everyone giving me the 'thanks to Yos.h.i.+, we all got discovered' look?"

And why is it that he could only hear my voice? Ironman's ears should go for a doctor's check-up.

"d.a.m.n it! Because of Akihisa, the situation has become a lot more problematic! Anyway, hurry up and get away from here before you get caught!"

"Though it doesn't seem right to blame me for everything, Yuuji's right! Anyway, hurry up and go, leave this to us!"

Once someone discovers that girls are in a boys' dorm (and especially since one of them is wearing just a yukata), this will develop into some huge problem. No matter what, we have to let these three people escape!

"Bu, but..."

"There's no time to hesitate, onee-sama! Anyway, hurry up, take off your clothes and come to Miharu's room!"

"Shut up, Miharu!"

I do feel that it's rather impressive in a weird sense for s.h.i.+mizu-san to try and convince Minami in this situation.


"Yos.h.i.+ and Sakamoto! I know that it's you two! Hold it right there!"


Just as we're running on the corridors, Ironman's terrifying voice can be heard.

"It's Ironman's voice! He's gaining on us!"

"No time left! We have to use the 'sure-fire Aki bomb' to distract him, you three use this chance to escape!"

"Understood!"

"Minami! You can't say that you understand this!"

Wasn't this move sealed right at the beginning?

"First, Yuuji and I will head out to attract Ironman's attention. You three use this time to get out of the room, got it?"

"Mm...sorry about it, everyone, because of us..."

"...Thank you."

"I love you so much, onee-sama."

Now that we decided, there's no time to be troubled, let's settle this!

"Let's go, Yuuji!"

"Can't be helped, I'll go with you!"

I placed my hand on the door handle and swing it open.

PAM! Cruck!

"Ugh!? Yo, Yos.h.i.+, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d!"

"Eh!? Seemed like Ironman got hit on the head!?"

"Nice move, Akihisa!"

This may seem so to everyone, but wouldn't Ironman's killer intent be focused on me?

"RUN, AKIHISA!!"

"Go—!!"

At this moment, something unexpected happened.

Because Ironman was. .h.i.t on the head, the three girls inside the room have no chance of escaping, and right now, Ironman's eyes are wide open, looking inside. d.a.m.n it, if he's to look further, he'll find the girls inside the room!

What do we do now? If we don't do anything, those three people will be implicated! Speaking of which, I suddenly noticed that Yuuji's grabbing my head and intending to use that sealed sure-fire technique, so if I don't do anything, the one who will be implicated next will be me!

"I'm here, Ironman!"

I shook off Yuuji's hand, undid my yukata and runs towards Ironman. Ironman responds to my voice and turns towards where I am. Good, he won't be able to see those three people now!

"How many times must I tell you guys to call me Nis.h.i.+mura-sensei—"

"WATCH THIS!!"

Taking off the yukata I was wearing at lightning speed, I use it to wrap Ironman's face.

"Oi, oi, what are you doing?"

"THIS IS ADDED EXTRA!"

I use the obi to tie him up. Now we should be able to buy some time.

"NOW!"

I gave the signal to Minami and the rest. The trio nod their heads in unison and dash out to the corridor.

Good. At least it's alright now—

"Yos.h.i.+, looks like you really want me to give you detention, huh...!"

—Of course not! If we don't escape from here, we'll be forced to accept Ironman's fist of judgement.

"You got to work hard now, Akihisa."

Yuuji gives me a thumbs up. No no, that won't do.

"Sorry, Nis.h.i.+mura-sensei! It's because Sakamoto Yuuji brought alcohol along and asked me to lure you away!"

"WHAT RUBBISH ARE YOU SAYING!?"

Facing the panicking Yuuji, I give him a thumbs up in response.

Relax, Yuuji! I won't abandon you as a friend! Come on, let's escape together. We'll go anywhere and everywhere!

"Yos.h.i.+...Sakamoto...you guys...are you prepared?"

""How are we prepared!?""

Before Ironman ripped the yukata apart, Yuuji and I were already far away. Though I'm not trying to brag, I'm rather confident about escaping!

"What now, YuujI? We got to shake Ironman off!"

"What? Escaping isn't the solution here!"

"You're right, that guy's no different from a monster."

"That's right, so we have to escape to where Ironman can't get near to!"

"OK!"

A place where Ironman can't go to...the only place I can think of is a narrow alley that his big body won't be able to fit through, but does such a place exist?

"It's useless for you two to escape! Get ready to take this detention that I love!"

Ironman's catching up! Got to get faster!

"Over here, Akihisa!"

"Got it!"

In order to prevent Ironman from catching up, both of us dash past the self-study room.

"Speaking of which, Yuuji, where are you going?"

"The place where a male teacher can't go to, in other words—a girls' dorm!"

"I see!"

Really, the girls' dorm? It's true that Ironman can't enter the room full of youthful girls in dreamland, since it's a secret garden that boys can't enter!

But, if I'm to escape inside with only my underwear—

"—Seems like, I won't be able to avoid certain death..."

In more ways than one, isn't this disastrous?

"Let's go, Akihisa!"

"No way!"

Seeing the girls dorm right in front of me, I reject Yuuji's proposal.

If I can't get any proper clothing, I will have to continue running.

"Cheh! You're still mindful about this in this situation...can't be helped. Wear this!"

Yuuji tosses something over.

I caught it. These are—aren't these clothes that I need now?

"As expected of Yuuji! You're the one who understands me the most!"

"Hurry up and wear it!"

"Mm, thanks!"

I quickly put on the clothes, b.u.t.ton it up, and not forgetting to put on socks. Alright! Perfect!

"Yuuji, I put on the sailor uniform already!"

A white blouse and knee-length skirt that will light up anyone's eyes, with navy blue stockings, and the colour of the underwear is, a, secret☆.

—This is no longer a situation where I can be caught now. I can imagine that if I'm to be arrested and whisked off to the police station, everyone will agree that 'this student is from another school'.

"Alright, now we can escape inside!"

"Hold on, Yuuji! This may be more fatal than being completely naked!"

Speaking of which, how did Yuuji get these clothes? Our school uniform should be of set-style, right?

But there's no time to think about this. Got to take off these clothes first!

"How about we split up here?"

Yuuji said this to me who's in my boxers again.

"Why are you saying such things, Yuuji? No matter where it is, we'll escape together~☆"

How can I be abandoned with just these clothes on me?

"I REFUSE! I DON'T WANT TO BE a.s.sOCIATED WITH YOU, PERVERT!"

"SHUT UP! IF YOU HATE IT LIKE THIS, HAND OVER YOUR PANTS!"

"SO YOU'RE AIMING FOR THIS!?"

"TAKE IT OFF! TAAKKEE ITTT OFFFF—!!"

"WHO'S TAKING IT OFF FOR YOU—"

"...What are you two doing."

"..."

"..."

I exchanged glances with Yuuji.

The scene of me in my boxers pulling off Yuuji's pants should be rather damaging to the eyes no matter which angle one looks at it, right?

"...I know that you two don't have any luck with girls, but please don't do such stuff in public, will you?"

""Sensei! We're willing to accept detention! Just listen to our explanation!!"

For three nights now, we enjoyed intimate moments with Ironman.

Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎ Vol 3 Chapter 5

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Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎ Vol 3 Chapter 5 summary

You're reading Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎ Vol 3 Chapter 5. This novel has been translated by Updating. Author: Inoue Kenji already has 1089 views.

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